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  1. #1
    Senior Member Gutsy Jiraiya's Avatar
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    Tale of the God of Shinobi

    Tale of The God of Shinobi




    The Sensei


    It was a beautiful morning, when Hiruzen woke up in his small bed. He had just turned 7 years, and he had just become a Genin yesterday. He quickly got out of bed and looked out the window to find a beautiful sun shining through the window and the big old oak standing right outside his house was blowing in the wind, while the leaves were all beginning to fall off and fly off into the distance. As he began to prepare for his final day at the academy, his father, Sasuke Sarutobi called for him downstairs. While running down the stairs he couldn’t wait to meet his new sensei, he was wondering who it might be and as he just stepped down from the last step, his father met him right at the bottom.

    Sasuke Sarutobi: “Hey Hiruzen my son, are you ready to start your life as a shinobi…”

    Hiruzen looked up at his dad, as he smiled at him as he felt like his life had just started and that something special was going to happen this day, when his father slowly pulled out something from his bag, while Hiruzen stared at his dad.

    Hiruzen Sarutobi: “Yea I can’t wait… wait what is that…”

    Hiruzen just stood there as his dad pulled out two small bells from his bag and held them out in front of him, while the window was open and the wind was blowing through it, so that you could hear the sound of the bells while Hiruzen looked up into his dad’s eyes.

    Hiruzen Sarutobi: “Are those grandpa’s old bells….”

    Sasuke Sarutobi: “Yes it is… he gave them to me… and told me to give them to you when you were ready… it is a symbol of our proud clan”

    Hiruzen Sarutobi: “Dad… I will make you proud…”

    As Hiruzen said this, he held out his hand as his father gave him the bells and they both just smiled at each other before Hiruzen suddenly jumped into his father’s stomach embracing him with both his arms while his mother appeared from the kitchen holding a towel, smiling at her husband while their son was showing tears of joy.

    Sasuke Sarutobi: “Now you should go… or you’re going to be late…”

    Hiruzen did not answer his dad, he just smiled at him before his mother handed him his lunchbox and kissed his forehead, as he ran out the door. While his mother was standing in the door as he waved his hands at her, he saw his dad take off in the opposite direction, for another day at the interrogation corps.

    Hiruzen ran down the road as he was supposed to meet his new sensei and comrades in training field number 11. While he was running down the street he met several friends of his, both some from the academy and some of his dad’s friends. On the way to the field, he stopped at the BBQ to get some breakfast, as he bought some juicy meat and some water. When he finally arrived at the training field, the wind had stopped blowing while a few leaves landed on his head; he was looking around to see his two new comrades, Homura Mitokado and Koharu Utatane.

    Homura Mitokado: “Hey Hiruzen… how have you been…?”

    Hiruzen Sarutobi: “Hey Homura, I’m good thanks…. What about you Koharu-chan”

    Koharu Utatane: “Hey Hiruzen, I’m good… who do you guys think is going to be our new sensei…”

    Homura Mitokado: “I think it actually might be Hiruzen’s dad… or maybe even the Hokage… that would be so cool…”

    Suddenly the three students heard a voice coming from the pond on the other side of the trees, as a tall man came walking out from the trees with his white spiky hair blowing in the wind, while his face was shaped with red eyes and three red markings on his face — two under his eyes and one on his chin. He wears a short-sleeved, blue shirt kimono with mesh armour
    underneath and held closed by a pale yellow sash, as well as blue pants and a bracelet of sorts on his left hand.

    Tobirama Senju: “Hey everyone… my name is Tobirama… I will be you’re…”

    Before he could finish speaking, Hiruzen yelled out in excitement as he ran up beside him while looking at his new sensei, the little brother of the Hokage, Tobirama Senju.

    Hiruzen Sarutobi: “Oh my god… Tobirama Senju… you’re going to be our sensei, this is going to be so awesome!!!!”

    Tobirama Senju: “Yes I am… now I want to know you… tell me your name and your favorite thing…”

    Homura Mitokado: “My name is Homura Mitokado… my favorite thing is my glasses and I also like ramen…”

    Koharu Utatane: “I am Koharu Utatane... I like... well... I love my puppy…”

    Hiruzen Sarutobi: “Finally it’s me… my name is Hiruzen Sarutobi… I really like shinobi arts and I kinda like monkeys…”

    Tobirama stood there as his new students, Hiruzen Sarutobi the young shinobi from the Sarutobi clan was smiling as he clapped Homura on his head and Koharu started yelling as the two of them began to rumble and beating eachother up. Tobirama stood there looking into the sky as the sun was high and he had just realized that these three students will change his life.

    Tobirama Senju: “Alright… now listen… we are going to have a little test in two days from now… we will meet here at exactly 5 A.M, remember to be here or you will fail…”

    Hiruzen Sarutobi: “Will be there sensei… but why do we need a test…”

    Tobirama Senju: “Well I need to see your skill level… I can’t be your sensei if I don’t know what you’re capable of…”

    As Tobirama explained the whole concept of the test and the life of a shinobi, the three students sat on the ground listening carefully to his words while they could hear the water in the pond and the wind blowing through the trees.
    While Tobirama was explaining all this, the Hokage was having a meeting with the current leader of the Uchiha, since it had been a while since Madara Uchiha had left the village and the clan to itself, while the Hokage, Hashirama was in charge of the village and the wellbeing of the people of Konohagakure.

    Two days had Passed and Hiruzen was up bright and early, as he was met by the sun shining through the window and he quickly got ready and ran downstairs since he had to be at the training field by 5 am. He was met by his father down in the living room.

    Sasuke Sarutobi: “you are up early today my son…”

    Hiruzen Sarutobi: “yeah I have to be at the training field by 5 am. That’s what our Sensei told us two days ago…”

    Sasuke Sarutobi: “your Sensei is the Hokage’s brother right…?”

    Hiruzen Sarutobi: “yes that is right… well I better be off or I will be late…”

    Sasuke Sarutobi: “have a nice day… enjoy it…”

    Hiruzen made it through the streets and the park as he ran all the way to training field number 11 to meet his new team and his sensei. As he arrived with a few minutes to spare, he was met by Homura and Koharu, both leaning beside a tree and Tobirama Senju standing beside the pond.

    Homura Mitokado: “you finally made it…”

    Hiruzen Sarutobi: “yeah of course I made it…”

    Hiruzen smiled at his two comrades before he turned to the pond where their sensei was standing with closed eyes as he felt the breeze on his face, wearing his usual blue shirt kimono with mesh armour underneath and held closed by a pale yellow sash, as well as blue pants.

    Koharu Utatane: “Hey sensei… we are all here now…”

    Tobirama Senju: “I guess we are all here… then this is a good start now let’s get to it…”

    3 students: “yes Sensei!!!”

    Tobirama Senju: “alright… show me what you got…”

    As Tobirama was standing there in the sun, his three students prepared to attack him head on, while Homura pulled out several shuriken and Koharu jumped straight into the air to come down upon their new sensei, while Hiruzen formed several handseals, as he was preparing his first move.


    -------------------------------------------------------
    Created by JiraiyaEroSennin & serenaandrosie
     
         
    Last edited by Gutsy Jiraiya; 05-23-2012 at 05:09 PM.

  2. #2
    Senior Member serenaandrosie's Avatar
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    Re: Tale of the God of Shinobi

    nice start to Chapter 1 i like it i also liked what you did with my ideas
     
         
    Last edited by serenaandrosie; 05-23-2012 at 04:00 PM.

  3. #3
    Senior Member Gutsy Jiraiya's Avatar
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    Re: Tale of the God of Shinobi

    Yes and everyone please leave comments on how we can improve...
     
         

  4. #4
    Senior Member serenaandrosie's Avatar
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    Re: Tale of the God of Shinobi

    Quote Originally Posted by JiraiyaEroSennin View Post
    Yes and everyone please leave comments on how we can improve...
    yes what Jiraiya said
     
         

  5. #5
    Senior Member yuan of cruxis's Avatar
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    Re: Tale of the God of Shinobi

    Nice
    Everything is going smooth right now
    And i assume there going to be doing the bell test?
     
         

  6. #6
    Member FinalRasengan's Avatar
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    Re: Tale of the God of Shinobi

    omg this was amazing
     
         

  7. #7
    Senior Member Gutsy Jiraiya's Avatar
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    Re: Tale of the God of Shinobi

    Quote Originally Posted by yuan of cruxis View Post
    Nice
    Everything is going smooth right now
    And i assume there going to be doing the bell test?
    Thanks everyone.... and you will see what kind of test they will be doing.... :D
     
         

  8. #8
    Senior Member EL MAGNIFICO's Avatar
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    Re: Tale of the God of Shinobi

    IT was very nice J-man !!
     
         

  9. #9
    Senior Member serenaandrosie's Avatar
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    Re: Tale of the God of Shinobi

    Quote Originally Posted by EL MAGNIFICO View Post
    IT was very nice J-man !!
    we are glad you enjoyed it

    thank you everyone else for the nice comments
     
         

  10. #10
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    Re: Tale of the God of Shinobi

    Great Story, I'm looking for the next chapter!
     
         

  11. #11
    Uchiha Jinchuuriki's Avatar
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    Re: Tale of the God of Shinobi

    I enjoyed reading this
     
         

  12. #12
    Senior Member Gutsy Jiraiya's Avatar
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    Re: Tale of the God of Shinobi

    thanks everyone if you enjoyed it please come back when chapter 2 is out :D it will be great and please tell friends about it if you think it is worth it :D
     
         

  13. #13
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    Re: Tale of the God of Shinobi

    I don't really read fanfic but since you insisted so i read it and i think


    IT's AWESOME

    +rep
     
         

  14. #14
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    Re: Tale of the God of Shinobi

    i want to read the next one. and to have tobirama senju, the water sage as a sensei is something to be proud of. this is great!
     
         

  15. #15
    average GFXer Titania Erza's Avatar
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    Re: Tale of the God of Shinobi

    Awesome work :D
     
         

  16. #16
    Nyctophiliac Sinfonia's Avatar
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    And I hold within my hand
    Grains of the golden sand- How
    few! yet how they creep
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    deep, While I weep- while I
    weep! O God! can I not grasp
    them with a tighter clasp?
     

    Re: Tale of the God of Shinobi

    it's really nice, i can't wait to read the next chapter ^^
     
         

  17. #17
    Senior Member Gutsy Jiraiya's Avatar
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    Re: Tale of the God of Shinobi

    Quote Originally Posted by dm1202 View Post
    i want to read the next one. and to have tobirama senju, the water sage as a sensei is something to be proud of. this is great!
    Yep i know Tobirama Senju the legendary water sage :D
     
         

  18. #18
    General kakashi kakashi owns all's Avatar
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    Re: Tale of the God of Shinobi

    i really like this lol at his dad sasuke the only thing that i dont like is that danzo is not there as his teammate but it still a grate story and i want to read the next one
     
         

  19. #19
    Uchiha Slayer! uffe0365's Avatar
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    Re: Tale of the God of Shinobi

    busy with examns atm but this was flawed. otherwise good.
     
         

  20. #20
    Kitsune no yoko izinagi54's Avatar
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    Death is natural... and to
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    Re: Tale of the God of Shinobi

    loved it
     
         

  21. #21
    Senior Member Gutsy Jiraiya's Avatar
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    Re: Tale of the God of Shinobi

    Quote Originally Posted by kakashi owns all View Post
    i really like this lol at his dad sasuke the only thing that i dont like is that danzo is not there as his teammate but it still a grate story and i want to read the next one
    in the story it is those two who are his teammates at the time but Danzo will appear...

    Uffe: what you mean flawed...
     
         

  22. #22
    Uchiha Slayer! uffe0365's Avatar
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    Re: Tale of the God of Shinobi

    write me on facebook i'll tell you it's easier to spot when not beeing the one to write :D
     
         

  23. #23
    ¥§ Pervy §¥ kourosh's Avatar
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    Re: Tale of the God of Shinobi

    nice , your plot was awesome , please send me vm when you write next chapter
     
         

  24. #24
    Senior Member Gutsy Jiraiya's Avatar
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    Re: Tale of the God of Shinobi

    Quote Originally Posted by naruto74 View Post
    nice , your plot was awesome , please send me vm when you write next chapter
    I will this is the tale of Hiruzen Sarutobi as it has never been told throughoutly before so i decided to make it... :D
     
         

  25. #25
    Satin's daughter Hanon's Avatar
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    Re: Tale of the God of Shinobi

    Write another chapter...I only saw a few grammar mistakes..but :shrug: other than that its great...
     
         

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