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  1. #1
    Scaze's Avatar
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    I suck hardcore at titles Five.

    Hitake woke up. His room was mainly dark with spots of dazzling white dancing around his room in a frantic ecstacy as the moon and stars twinkled in the sky, producing their radiant glow. As Hitake woke he immeaditly saw his hard wood ceiling, the pannels of wood streaking from left to right supported by various nails and screws, and two large wooden beams that ran from the edges of the room to the ceiling. The beams were clearly old, with splinters protruding every direction and angle from the beam since Hitake hadn't sanded the wood down recently. The beams were dark in colour, with a light red overtone, probably dark Walnut. A light quilt covered Hitake, Hitake pulled his hand from beneath the covers, stretching it forwards towards his knee cap as he prepared to sit up-right. However upon trying to sit up, Hitake's back raptured in pain, the pain seared through his skin and flesh penetrating deep into his bones as the searing feeling heightened, his back's skin crawled under the influence of the pain screaming and franticly trying to escape the tormentor. It felt as if a fissure was being opened that would seperate Hitake's back in two, Hitake began to howl in agony as the pain danced and weaved further around and into his back and as it viciously probed his body, looking to inhibit him and incapacitate him with its icy grip. Hitake started to see various shades of red, blue and purple as the pain overtook him and brought his body into a seizure so as to shield him mentally. Hitake's breathing became exsarparated , shallow, and uneven, sweat began to bead on Hitake's already drenched forhead, dripping down onto his nose and reflecting the moonlight glow that entered in through the window on his left. Eventually the pain subsided, and as it did, Hitake's muscles began to contract and relax violently, causing Hitake's body to convulse as the seizure finally ended.

    "Hitake! Hitake, are you all right"

    Hitake's mother said as she franticly bursted into the room, rushing to Hitake as she did so. However Hitake loss the ability to stay conciouss, and soon drifted into a deep unwelcomed sleep.

    When Hitake woke up again, the sun was high in the sky, as the birds flew dived and cheeped searching for their mates. This time, Hitake didn't attempt to sit up, but rather layed there gazing through his window into the outside world, he watched for ages, as squirrel weaved their way through the trees and houses, as the birds flew, uttering their songs as they did so, and as the people began to stream out into the town, the town soon enough became bustling with people, by looking at the town Hitake guessed it was only 9AM, however the positioning of the sun told him otherwise.

    "Hmph"

    He said, as he realised that there must have been something intresting in town today, and now, he was missing it. All because of, Hitake shuddered to think as the visualisation of his pain flooded back to him again, infact now that he thought about it, he wondered why his injuries hand't been fully healed by the medical ninja who was beside him after the battle. He soon became pertubed, and decided he wanted to see his wounds, however this time he took a different approach to getting out of bed. He flung the covers off of him with a heave of his left arm and a couple of kicks, and then rolled off of his bed, flicking his arms from beneath him as he landed and allowing them to act like Hydraulics and shock absorbers, to prevent his back from erupting again. He then flicked his legs beneath him as he stood up in a single fluid motion, his back tinging slightly as he did so. Hitake continued to walk over to his mirror, however he dared not turn his head to see his wound in a attempt not to startle his back. Instead he quickly fetched a second mirror which he looked into as his back faced the mirror mounted on the wall. Allowing him to see what was on his back. He quickly removed the bandages with a flick of his hand.He cringed as he saw his wounds, they weren't as bad as he suspected, but were bad nonetheless. There we five wide yet shallow indents in his back, in the center of each crater, was a salve that was a light mint green in colour, that obviously needed changing as it was tainted with red and cream blotches, then around the crater, was the same salve, however it was evident that the skin beneath was purple. All of his veins in that area bulged and were a light blue in colour, likely because of the poison.

    Hitake walked down the winding stiars, he had previously attempted to put a shirt on, but had thought it to much hassle due to having to stretch his arms upright which of course would irritate his wound. He soon arrived in the kitchen, the smell of food had lured him there.

    "Morning mum"

    Hitake's voice rasped as he spoke.


    "Oh Hitake thank god your okay, Lucy went to fetch the medical unit so that they can finish healing your wounds, here have some breakfast, its your favourite pancakes ()."


    Hitake quickly thanked his mom, reaching for the pancakes, in which he drowned in maple syrup and frozen yogurt. He soon devoured his breakfast, all the while his mum looked at him expectantly, he had failed to talk while eating as he knew it would strain his body too much.

    "Thanks mum those were..."

    Hitake's words were interrupted as the door opened, Lucy briskly entered followed by two medical ninjas. It was clear that Lucy was shocked and saddened by seeing Hitake's wounds.

    "Hey!"

    However she masked it by quickly greeting Hitake before swiftly exiting the room so as to hide her uneasyness.

    "Oh it looks like your wounds are healing nicely, we were unable to heal your wounds fully last time, since the pain from healing and you being unconcious could have caused you to inadvertedly harm yourself"

    Hitake knew exactly what was going to happen next, he extened his arms before the woman even threw the sterilised towel to him, in which he was supposed to use to gag himself as they healed his wounds. He swiftly did so, lieing down stomach first on the sofa so as to prevent the woman from speaking anymore, as they walked over him to start the healing process...
     
         
    Last edited by Scaze; 03-04-2012 at 07:36 PM.

  2. #2
    Baldy..'s Avatar
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    Re: I suck hardcore at titles Five.

    A bit rushed, some spelling errors But very nice

    Epic FF master D
     
         

  3. #3
    Scaze's Avatar
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    Re: I suck hardcore at titles Five.

    Thanks Baldy
     
         

  4. #4
    My name is a capital city Naruto33's Avatar
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    Re: I suck hardcore at titles Five.

    just read it... AMAZING AS USUAL!!!!
    so... >.> you added some dialogue, i c? took my advyc huh?
    looking forward to the next one, and btw, the only errors i could find were all in the second paragraph - mayb you shud check it out?
     
         

  5. #5
    Scaze's Avatar
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    Re: I suck hardcore at titles Five.

    Thanks
    O_< I always take peoples advice.
    Ill check it now.
     
         
    Last edited by Scaze; 03-04-2012 at 07:37 PM.

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