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  1. #1
    Yanto's Avatar
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    cubes: chapter 1

    it was the darkest night of all the dark nights.Mai was waiting for messi on a side

    of the road . after a while messi arrive.he opened the car's door for Mai and so Mai

    got inside it and messi started driving the car forward .as the car was going forward

    on a middle speed nina kept staring at messi.and messi knew it

    Mai: actually where are we up to?

    Messi: i don't know..any special place selected?

    Mai: you don't know so...how about a hotel or a retuarant?

    messi: can i say a place?

    Mai: sure...

    Messi: let's go to the beach?

    Mai: joking?

    Messi: nope

    Mai: ok if it's not a joke ...lets go

    Messi: ok...lets head there

    Messi turned to the right and headed to the beach.near the beach was silent.no one was

    there except Messi and nina.Messi got out of the car before Mai did.Messi rushed to another

    side of the car to open the door for Mai and to welcome her to the beach.messi opened the

    door for Mai and she smiled at him at kept staring at messi while she was getting out of

    the car.
    Mai: Why?

    Messi: just learning to propose to you!!

    Mai: ok*kept laughing*so why are we here?

    Messi: to spend the night..

    Mai: are we staying here all night?

    Messi: nope

    Mai: *looks up at the stars*aren't the beautifull?

    Messi: not as beautifull as you

    Mai: m...

    Messi: i wanted to show you these jewels on the sky

    Mai: they are perfect

    messi*points on a bright shooting star*that's the nicest of the all the stars

    while messi and Mai was was laing on the car'sbonnet/hood, messi saw a shooting star and

    pointed on it.the star was going towards the horizon and as Messi pointed on the star ,the star changed

    it's path and headed towards Messi and Mai.it was as fast a falcon dropping from the sky.

    messi and mai stood up from the place where they were laing on

    and they started to run to a rescue house near to the place where the car was.ans they got reached to the

    rescue house's door the star got the car and it destroyed Messi's new car 100%.the place was lighted up from the

    fire of the car and the star.within 10 minutes the fire ran out and the darkness took over the place again .

    Messi took his phone and he switched the flash of the camera and started to walk toward the star landing place

    Mai was holding Messi'hand while Messi was going near to the ditch made from the star crash .there was no peices of

    Messi's car.messi looked at the dark hole and saw the star glowing from it's inside.ni also took a lokk and she was

    a bit scared.Messi sloped down near to the star while mai kept looking at Messi from above.
    Mai: come back and let's go home

    Messi: wait...lets see whats inside the strar

    Nina: i am scared and lets go home...please

    Messi: wow...the light is incredible...nice

    messi kept getting closer and closer to the light which was glowing from inside the star which

    fell from the sky.
    Mai: messi come here now..

    messi: ok... wait...what's that?*asking to himself*

    messi saw a green colored glowing cube inside the star.he then puts his hand inside the star from a hole in it and takes

    the cube with him and rushed to Nina.while putting the cube into his pocket

    Messi: give me a hand

    Mai: ok let's go home

    messi got out of the hole with the help of nina.and he again takes the cube out of his pocket and showed it

    to Mai.Nina was amazed to see a glowing cube.suddenly the cube turned into liquid state and then to a gas and the gas went inside

    Messi's body within(the process was automatically done very quickly.like in 2 mili seconds) a few seconds messi started to cough and his face turned into red and then to white.messi fainted and fell to the

    ground .Mai started to scream for help but no one heared her voice .Mai quickly went to the sea shore and a took a hand full of water

    and she returned to Messi and she drops the water onto messi's face ,drop by drop.by then came to life and started to breath hardly

    Mai: are you ok?

    Messi: kind of...what happened?

    Mai: you got unconscious..

    Messi: let's go home...

    Mai: that should have tobe done a long time ago...

    Messi: i need to have a sleep

    messi and Mai went home lately that night after getting an unexperienced adventure experienced.

    to be continued on chapter 2

     
         
    Last edited by Yanto; 05-05-2012 at 06:28 AM.

  2. #2
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    Re: cubes: chapter 1

     
         

  3. #3
    Premium User Dr.Dave's Avatar
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    Re: cubes: chapter 1

    its good but you need you work on your grammar a little more and try not to use so many emoticons its messing up some of the words
     
         

  4. #4
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    Re: cubes: chapter 1

    I can guess how most of the emoticons ended up there
     
         

  5. #5
    Yanto's Avatar
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    Re: cubes: chapter 1

    All these ":" changed into emots
     
         

  6. #6
    Senior Member
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    Re: cubes: chapter 1

    use ': ok' instead of ':ok'
     
         

  7. #7
    Yanto's Avatar
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    Re: cubes: chapter 1

    k
    Yeah thanks man
     
         

  8. #8
    Senior Member serenaandrosie's Avatar
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    Re: cubes: chapter 1

    not the type of fan fic i am into but it is different keep up the good work
     
         

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