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    Legendary Sage of Konoha Michael92's Avatar
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    The Legendary Sage of Konoha Returns 3 [18]

    Note: To avoid confusing my veteran readers, Tobi in this chapter is who I described as Madara in my original work. Same guy, just changed the name back to Tobi, now that we know that he's not Madara after all (And for a long time too).

    The Legendary Sage of Konoha Series, Previous Chapters [In Chronological Reading Order]:

    The Legendary Sage of Konoha;

    Chapter 1

    Chapter 2

    Chapter 3

    Chapter 4

    Chapter 5

    Chapter 6

    Chapter 7

    Chapter 8

    Chapter 9

    Chapter 10

    Chapter 11

    --->
    Kakashi Chronicles;

    Chapter 1

    Chapter 12

    --->
    Chapter 13

    Chapter 14

    Chapter 15

    --->
    Sasuke Chronicles;

    Chapter 1

    Chapter 2

    Chapter 3

    The Legendary Sage of Konoha Returns;

    Chapter 1

    Chapter 2


    The Legendary Sage of Konoha Returns, Chapter 3:

    Memory of The Past

    ~ Part 3

    Jiraiya: *Yawn* What time is it?

    Reaching his hand out to turn off the alarm, Jiraiya noticed it was getting later than what he had expected.

    Jiraiya: Damn it, I should have been at the office by now... time to get up.

    Miyuki: *Yawn* Jiraiya... Can't you stay a bit longer, it's Sunday morning after all, what's the rush?

    Stretching her arms around him, trying to force him to stay a bit longer, Miyuki moved in closer to him.

    Jiraiya: I wish I could, but there was this thing I was suppose to do yesterday, remember? However, since I stalled it until today, I better get up now, or I'll get scolded by Hiruzen and Mito for sleeping in late. You know how persistent those two can be.

    Sliding out of the bed, Jiraiya started dressing himself as Miyuki sat up on his side of the bed.

    Miyuki: What time is it anyways?

    Jiraiya: 9 Am...

    Miyuki: I see... Well I better get up as well then.

    She passed through the door and out in the living room as Jiraiya went to Minato's room.

    *Knock Knock*

    Minato: ...

    Jiraiya: Geez... Minato, I told you not to oversleep!

    Minato: No... ... Ami don't go away, come back Aiko... ...

    Jiraiya: ...

    Minato: That's more like it... ...

    Jiraiya: Last warning...

    Minato: ...

    Jiraiya: That's it, Suiton: Suiryūdan no Jutsu (Water Style: Water Dragon technique)!

    Minato: Wait.. What?!

    Miyuki: Jiraiya?!! What on earth are you doing?!

    Filling Minato's room with water, all three of them got soaking wet.

    Minato: Okay okay, I'm awake! Geez, are you trying to drown us or something?

    Jiraiya: I told you not to oversleep yesterday, and look what you did.

    Minato: What? I didn't oversleep, the clock is only... What?! It's 9 Am?! Hiruzen is going to kill me!

    As Minato ran straight to the bathroom to get prepared for the day, Jiraiya uttered a deep sigh.

    Jiraiya: *Sigh* Miyuki, could you?

    Miyuki: *Sigh* Alright, someone has to clean up this mess... And yes, I'll be more careful than you. Futon: Shinkūgyoku (Vacuum Bullets).

    Gently releasing her wind style, and adding some heat to it with her trademark Uchiha fire style, Miyuki proceeded to vaporize the water until all of it were gone.

    Miyuki: There, that ought to do it. Now, remember that we made that no jutsu inside the house rule for a reason.

    Jiraiya: Ehehehe, yeah I know, but...

    Giving him a tired, yet a bit worked up look, Jiraiya decided to leave for the Hokage Mansion before he got in real trouble. As he went out the door, Minato came out from the bathroom.

    Miyuki: And you young man!

    Minato: What?! What have I done.. I.. I.. Ahhhh!

    Furious that Minato once again overslept for his training session, Miyuki shot vacuum bullets after him as he ran out the door of the house.

    [...]

    Mito: What on earth happened to you? You look like a mess, Jiraiya.

    Entering the Hokage Mansion, Mito was already there, preparing the day's tasks.

    Jiraiya: Long story... Let's just say it involves water.

    Mito: I see... Shall we?

    Jiraiya: Right... I'll get the work I should have done yesterday out of the way first, then I'll get the paper work done... I guess...

    Mito: You never liked the paper work, did you?

    Meanwhile on the training ground, Minato was getting scolded by Hiruzen for being late once again.

    Hiruzen: What is there to be done with you... Geez, like father like son they say.

    Minato: Hey I'm not that sloppy! It's just that... Ah, never mind, let's just get on with the mission we have today.

    Hiruzen: Alright, but first, I need you to do 1000 push ups for me.

    Minato: What?! What for?

    Hiruzen: For getting late, now go.

    Minato: Fine, alright alright.

    ?: *Giggle*

    ?: Hush! Don't let him hear you...

    Hiruzen: Ami, Aiko, let's do some practical training over here.

    Ami and Aiko (In Unison): Right away dad.

    Minato (In Thought): Stupid... dumb... #"&%...

    Apparently both pissed and disappointed of himself for being late once again, Minato began doing the push ups, as Hiruzen trained Ami and Aiko some couple of yards away.

    [...]

    *Some hours later*

    Jiraiya: That should be the last piece... Oh look at the clock, it's not even past 1 pm yet. Looks like I'm getting better at this!

    Mito: Don't praise yourself too much yet, I'm the one having to go over your paper work to see if everything is correct, after you're done.

    Jiraiya: Ehehehe, I guess you're right about that... What should I have done without you.

    Mito: Yeah, what should you have done without me? And let's not forget Hiruzen.

    Jiraiya: Hehe, well yeah, we've been a team forever... Anyways, I think I'll be heading out for some fresh air, you think you can handle the rest yourself then?

    Mito: Yeah yeah, no problem, off you go.

    Jiraiya: Right.

    Closing the door behind him as he left, Jiraiya walked down the stairs and into the town. As he walked down the street he saw countless children playing around with their parents close by. Some of them ran over to him to greet him as he bend down to meet with them. He then got up as he continued to walk further down the street as he closed in on the east gate, and the road towards the training ground. As he walked down by the riverside, he spotted Minato, Ami and Aiko training with Hiruzen as he positioned himself by a nearby tree and watched them from distance. Leaning towards the tree with his right side, he suddenly felt a firm hand landing on his left shoulder, catching him by surprise.

    Jiraiya: !!

    ?: Whoa, a little shaky today Jiraiya? Didn't mean to scare you.

    Jiraiya: Kakashi sensei, didn't expect to run into you here... And no worries.

    Kakashi: Well I was actually on my way home to Yugao when I spotted you down here, so I thought I would stop by to say hello.

    Jiraiya: I see... So how are you doing these days anyways? Didn't see you at the birthday party yesterday. In fact, I haven't seen you for awhile now that I think about it.

    Kakashi: Well yeah, I was meaning to go, but something came up. Gai and his wife needed our help with some things, so the four of us spent the evening together.

    Jiraiya: That's great. I guess you still spend a lot of time hanging out with Gai.

    Kakashi: Haha, yeah, old friends are hard to forget.

    Jiraiya: You're right about that.

    Kakashi: You know, you standing here watching Minato train, secretly in the distance, reminds me of Naruto.

    Jiraiya: What do you mean? My father never really had the time to watch me train except for the Chunin and Jonin exams.

    Kakashi: That's not what I meant, Naruto used to come down here whenever he could, to watch Yamato, Hiruzen, Mito and you train from a distance.

    Jiraiya: Well if he did... How come he never told me about it?

    Kakashi: Does Minato know that you watches him train from a distance, from time to time?

    Jiraiya: ... I guess you have a point.

    He said with a smile upon his face.

    Jiraiya: Speaking of Yamato, he should be back pretty soon from his mission.

    Kakashi: Yeah he should, I guess he has a lot to talk about when he gets back.

    Jiraiya: Hehe, yeah I bet he has alright.

    Kakashi: ...

    Jiraiya: So have you been up to date with the new generation of shinobies?

    Kakashi: Are you kidding me, I lost track after your generation, although Minato, Ami and Aiko looks like a promising team.

    Jiraiya: Heh, from the looks of it.

    Kakashi: Hey, I don't think I ever asked why Hiruzen is their sensei? I mean, isn't it a bit strange that he's the sensei of both his daughters?

    Jiraiya: Now that you mention it, I guess that's a bit strange, never put much thought in that.

    Kakashi: Yeah...

    Jiraiya: ...

    Kakashi: Oh, Minato turns eleven next month, doesn't he?

    Jiraiya: Yep, that's right.

    Kakashi: So are you planning on letting him participate in the upcoming Jonin exam, later this year?

    Jiraiya: ...

    Kakashi: No one in the history of Konoha has become Jonin at a younger age than you were when you became one, and Minato will be only one year younger than that when he turned eleven.

    Jiraiya Pondered about Kakashi's question, as Kakashi continued.

    Kakashi: It's only been a year since he became chunin, right? I'm not one to judge as I haven't been following Minato's progress too much the past years, but you might want to take precautions if you're planning on letting him in on the Jonin exam, as it might still be too soon.

    Jiraiya: Yeah I suppose you're right...

    ?: So here you are!

    Jiraiya: ??

    Kakashi: Miyuki!

    Miyuki: I thought I saw some familiar faces down by the river.

    Jiraiya: Didn't you have some things to take care of today?

    Miyuki: Yeah, but I found the time I needed, so I thought I would go for a walk, when I saw the two of you standing here. Are you watching Minato?

    Jiraiya: Mhm...

    Miyuki: ...

    Kakashi: So I guess everything is just fine between the three of you?

    Miyuki: Yes, everything is just fine. How about your family?

    Kakashi: Everything is just good here as well.

    Jiraiya: Oh that reminds me, Miyuki weren't you suppose to take care of some things with your mother and brothers today?

    Miyuki: Right, now that you mention it, they wanted to meet back at our place.

    Kakashi: ...

    Jiraiya: Well, you better get going, you know Mü's patience when it comes to work. Especially if Itachi's there pushing him about it.

    Miyuki: Yeah I suppose... Alright, I'll see you later then Jiraiya. And for god's sake, go over to Minato and the rest and at least say hello. Standing here like a creep when you're the Hokage...

    Jiraiya: Uhh...

    Kakashi: Haha, I'll make sure that we do.

    Miyuki: Bye.

    Jiraiya: ...

    Kakashi: Thinking about how fast time goes by, makes me wonder what I've been up to the recent years.

    Jiraiya: What do you mean?

    Kakashi: Well I haven't exactly been keeping in touch with everyone, my memory is starting to become bad as well.

    Jiraiya: Haha, you're not that old yet Kakashi sensei.

    Kakashi: Hah, yeah I know, but still.

    Jiraiya: ...

    Kakashi: By the way, Isn't Miyuki the daughter of Sasuke and Kurotsuchi?

    Jiraiya: Yeah why?

    Kakashi: Nothing, just got me thinking.

    Jiraiya: About what?

    Kakashi: About the past...

    [...]

    A gigantic smokescreen had fallen upon the battlefield as three shadows formed inside it. As the smoke slowly began to clear, the view of a great battle taking place came into view. Tobi, Naruto and Sasuke stood gasping for air as the smoke slowly settled around them.

    Tobi: I haven't been pushed this far since we fought last time in the 4th Great Shinobi war. To think that you even managed to force me to use Izanagi on my right eye. *Thinking* 'I was too careless, without my right eye, I won't be able to to warp or go intangible anymore... I need to proceed with caution. Luckily, they should be pretty exhausted as well... I'll replace the eye later.'

    The three of them were exhausted, starring at each other as they were waiting hesitant to see who would make the first move. Naruto’s Bijou mode ended as he looked Tobi straight into his eyes.

    Naruto (To Kurama): How's your chakra?

    Kurama: I'm completely drain of it. Splitting it up in half so that we both could fight together at the same time has taken it's toll.

    Naruto: Yeah, but it was necessary to have you beside me when Tobi brought out those dragons.

    Kurama: And yours? Will you be able to pull of some Flying Thunder God on Tobi? Now seems to be the perfect time with his space/time jutsu canceled...

    Naruto: Too bad I'm almost out of chakra... *huff*, *pant*... It will take up too much chakra using the FTG now. I still have some left to finish this fight though.

    Naruto charged at Tobi, trying to bring the battle to an end as countless punches and kicks exchanges between the two of them. Naruto dodged Tobi's right punch, trying to get behind him, but Tobi noticed just in time to counter and in the progress, managing to land a blow on Naruto's face, pushing him backwards.

    Naruto: Not done yet!

    Naruto then fired up a small rasengan, charging once again at Tobi, trying to land a blow on him. As he was just about to reach him, Tobi countered with Shinra tensei (Almighty Push), trying to push Naruto back. However, Naruto was able to hold his ground as his rasengan clashed straight into the Shinra tensei barrier. Intense air waves erupted around them, as Naruto screamed out and pushed the rasengan right through the barrier, hitting Tobi in the stomach and sending him on his back.

    Tobi: Ugh!

    The rasengan didn’t have too much effect however as the Shinra Tensei managed to take some of the blow. Tobi then slowly got back up on his feet as he was panting heavily.

    Tobi: *Huff... huff...*

    Naruto: ...

    Behind the two of them, you could see Sasuke was struggling to get on his feet, as he was holding his arm.

    Sasuke (To himself): 'I need to help Naruto out... My chakra... huff...'

    Naruto: ?!

    Tobi stretched out his arm towards Naruto as Naruto noticed his body started to move on it's own.

    Tobi: Bansho Tenin (Universal pull)!

    Naruto: Shit!

    Naruto went flying straight for Tobi as Tobi drew a kunai to strike at him.

    Sasuke: Naruto!!

    Tobi: It's over!

    Naruto was just about to reach Tobi when two Rasengans formed in both his hands, aiming at Tobi to hit him dead on.

    Tobi: What?!

    Just in the last second, Tobi managed to cancel the pull as Naruto crashed both Rasengan into the ground right beside him.

    Tobi (To himself): Too close! The time laps between each time I can use Shinra Tensei and Bansho Tenin are getting longer and longer...

    Tobi jumped back to gain distance from Naruto as the two of them were starring intensely at each other. From behind them, you could see Sasuke walking up towards Naruto, seemingly having recover from the previous clash.

    Naruto: So you decided to join the battle...

    Sasuke: Don't get too cocky... Naruto... I've only just begun.

    Both of them grinned their teeth as Sasuke whispered something into Naruto's ear.

    Tobi: What are you two laughing about?!

    Angrily, Tobi prepared his next attack.

    [...]

    Tsunade: Mei, you see that?!

    Mei: Yes... What's going on, why are they retreating?

    Still in battle with the countless Zetsus and the Edo Tensei summonings, Tsunade suddenly noticed that several of the Edo Tenseis started lightning up, as if being released.

    Tsunade: It's just like that time during the 4th Great Shinobi war, it's seems as if the Edo tensei has been broken!

    Mei: It can't be? But by who?

    Tsunade: There is still the Zetsus to take care of... and they're still outnumbering us by a ton!

    Cannon Fodder Ninja: Mizukage sama, look over there, reinforcements!

    Mei: What?!

    Tsunade: It seems like the birds made it!

    From over the hill some 100 yards ahead, a large force totaling a number over 60 000 came to view, with the 4th Raikage A in the lead.

    Mei: It's A! The Allied Shinobi forces has arrived!

    [...]

    Naruto: *Pant* ... *Pant*

    Sasuke: Still no luck...

    Tobi: *Pant* ... *Pant* Child's trick like that aren't going to work on me. You should know that by now, Naruto...

    Still in a locked stalemate, in a battle that had gone on for hours without stop, the battle seemed to go nowhere when suddenly the three of them spotted movement outside the barrier as countless Zetsus were driven back towards them.

    Tobi: ?!

    Naruto: Heh, seems like our side is winning... Time we upped our game too, right Sasuke?!

    Sasuke: Sure thing Naruto.

    Sasuke walked up to Naruto as he charged up a Chidori in his left hand. Tobi watched their movement closely as Naruto fired up a Rasengan in his right.

    Naruto: Ready?

    Tobi: ...

    Sasuke: Let's end this!

    ~ End Chapter 3
     
         
    Last edited by Michael92; 08-08-2012 at 02:52 AM. Reason: Grammar.

  2. #2
    Ψ BKN Knight of Darkness Ψ From the Dark Spire's Avatar
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    inequity. Narutobase, your
    time...will come! Ψ
     

    Re: The Legendary Sage of Konoha Returns, Chapter 3

    Wow, this is amazing, +rep to you, I enjoyed it.

    Hey, if you have time, do you think you can take a look at my story too?

    http://www.narutobase.net/forums/sho...d.php?t=221333

    I would appreciate it.
     
         

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    Re: The Legendary Sage of Konoha Returns, Chapter 3

    I suggest you use color black for the text as it disturbs the eyes because it will keep jumping across the page and i also suggest you use the normal text format as it is easier to read
     
         

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    Re: The Legendary Sage of Konoha Returns, Chapter 3

    I'll read at home, but I love your ava
     
         

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    Re: The Legendary Sage of Konoha Returns, Chapter 3

    Nice one
     
         

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    Re: The Legendary Sage of Konoha Returns, Chapter 3

    Quote Originally Posted by gordo1 View Post
    I'll read at home, but I love your ava
    Barney as Tobi... Never thought about that, lol And thanks.

    Quote Originally Posted by From the Dark Spire View Post
    Wow, this is amazing, +rep to you, I enjoyed it.
    Thanks.
    I'll see what I can do.

    Quote Originally Posted by Flash07 View Post
    Nice one
    Thanks.
     
         

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    Re: The Legendary Sage of Konoha Returns, Chapter 3

    Nice. Nthing much 4 a big reply. I like chaptr 2nd more then this one. Is simply nice n easy 2 understand also its shorter then 2nd chapter.
    I dont like Fight between tobi and naruto sasuke coz its kinda very very normal fight. I was waiting 4 big bang. What happend to that 6 headed dragon n little dragon? What happend 2 narutos toad army and sasukes 100 hawk summons? I was waiting 4 that. Hope u'll show us whole fight in next chapters.
    And kurama is out of chakra?? Thats sounds a bit weird/strange 4 me. I mean kurama is like a chakra powerhouse. She(kurama) has like unlimited chakra so how could she out of chakra?
    And btw ur these lines "That's not what I meant, Naruto used to come down here whenever he could, to watch Yamato, Hiruzen, Mito and you train from a distance.
    Jiraiya: Well if he did... How come he never told me about it?
    Kakashi: Does Minato know that you watches him train from a distance, from time to time?
    Jiraiya: ... I guess you have a point.
    He said with a smile upon his face." are completely heart touching. very very nice work at this part. u made me emotional 4 few seconds when i read these lines great job bro.
    over all its a good chapter
    {sorry 4 bad english, i'm replying from my mobile}
     
         

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    Legendary Sage of Konoha Michael92's Avatar
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    Re: The Legendary Sage of Konoha Returns, Chapter 3

    Quote Originally Posted by +Kyon+ View Post
    Nice. Nthing much 4 a big reply. I like chaptr 2nd more then this one. Is simply nice n easy 2 understand also its shorter then 2nd chapter.
    I dont like Fight between tobi and naruto sasuke coz its kinda very very normal fight. I was waiting 4 big bang. What happend to that 6 headed dragon n little dragon? What happend 2 narutos toad army and sasukes 100 hawk summons? I was waiting 4 that. Hope u'll show us whole fight in next chapters.
    And kurama is out of chakra?? Thats sounds a bit weird/strange 4 me. I mean kurama is like a chakra powerhouse. She(kurama) has like unlimited chakra so how could she out of chakra?
    And btw ur these lines "That's not what I meant, Naruto used to come down here whenever he could, to watch Yamato, Hiruzen, Mito and you train from a distance.
    Jiraiya: Well if he did... How come he never told me about it?
    Kakashi: Does Minato know that you watches him train from a distance, from time to time?
    Jiraiya: ... I guess you have a point.
    He said with a smile upon his face." are completely heart touching. very very nice work at this part. u made me emotional 4 few seconds when i read these lines great job bro.
    over all its a good chapter
    {sorry 4 bad english, i'm replying from my mobile}
    It's a war If I'm going to show everything, I won't be able to finish this FF, like ever. So I had to pull a Kishimoto on this one. This point in the fight is some hours later, the aftermath of what was about to begin in chapter 15.
    So I'm not going to show of a crazy fight with 100 of hawks, dragons, toads and a giant fox. That part is beyond my capabilities to do, so how this part of the battle went one will be left to the reader's imagination.
    But don't worry, chapter 5 is going to be wicked, action wise, I decided to start of slow, and then build this fight towards the climax
    Like I've mentioned to some people already, chapter 5 (it was done even before I made chapter 2 and 3, lol) is already done, but I need to make chapter 4 first, which I'm aiming in on next Wednesday for now. That will give me some time to hopefully start on chapter 6 and so on, while I still got chapter 5 stored up.

    Well as shown in the manga, the tailed beasts can exhaust their chakra supply too, but Kurama isn't out quite yet

    Hehe, glad you liked that part ^^
    And no worries
     
         

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    Re: The Legendary Sage of Konoha Returns, Chapter 3

    Well, I guess, this chapter's length is pretty appropriate Not much "exceptional" occurrings occurred in this chapter but I think, most sequences worked pretty well. Since you said that events of the "war" will start being more and more revealed after C3, I guess this was a pretty good appetizer for upcoming high-points in your other chapters.

    Certain points that caught my attention!

    Quote Originally Posted by Michael Westen View Post
    Miyuki shot vacuum bullets after him as he ran out the door of the house.
    , didn't she just state a no-jutsu in the house minute ago? The entire sequence was very well-done btw; keeping the fun mood that was breathed from C2 intact in this opening part of the chapter too. More on that later...

    Quote Originally Posted by Michael Westen View Post
    Hiruzen: What is there to be done with you... Geez, like father like son they say.
    That's a bit rude, isn't it? I mean, I know Jiraiya and Hiruzen were rivals but they were pretty close friends too. I'm a bit surprised that he took such a potshot towards his friend; even if he used to whine a lot about Jiraiya in his kid's days.

    Quote Originally Posted by Michael Westen View Post
    Ami and Aiko (In Unison): Right away dad.
    So, their dad is their sensei? That's a bit weird.. Plus, it's kinda supports my above point. I mean, push-ups for his friend's son and training for his daughters.

    Don't know if I'm right on that but I'm wondering if Jiraiya and Hiruzen had an argument over the years. Though I doubt it since Jiraiya still praises Mito and Hiruzen a lot. But I didn't expect Hiruzen to be so strict-like. Especially since he's Lee's son who's so jovial and kind-hearted.

    Btw, are Ami and Aiko twins since they are in the same team? Going by Minato's dream, I guess he likes both of them Will you do a love triangle?

    Quote Originally Posted by Michael Westen View Post
    Jiraiya: Ehehehe, I guess you're right about that... What should I have done without you.
    My following question/s got no relation to this quote but this thought popped up after I read this line, so I'm gonna say it anyways?

    Are Mito and Hiruzen married together? If yes, is Hiruzen are more bitter towards Jiraiya because of the time, that the latter passes with Mito? Jealousy? Or did Mito and Hiruzen marry two different persons separately?

    Quote Originally Posted by Michael Westen View Post
    Kakashi: Yeah he should, I guess he has a lot to talk about when he gets back.
    Mission huh? Related with the sekaiteki-kage?

    Quote Originally Posted by Michael Westen View Post
    Kakashi: Are you kidding me, I lost track after your generation, although Minato, Ami and Aiko looks like a promising team.
    Don't worry, Kakashi, I'm preetty much on the same boat. Seriosuly, Mikey, you went so far into the story that I'll indeed end up visualizing Kakashi as an old man with a cane in hand At this rate, the story will end up like this



    Quote Originally Posted by Michael Westen View Post
    Kakashi: Hey, I don't think I ever asked why Hiruzen is their sensei? I mean, isn't it a bit strange that he's the sensei of both his daughters?
    Thank you, Kakashi. We're so alike

    Quote Originally Posted by Michael Westen View Post
    Jiraiya: Well, you better get going, you know Mü's patience when it comes to work. Especially if Itachi's there pushing him about it.
    Saperlipopette, wait a sec! So, Sasuke and Kurotsuchi had a 3rd kid, Itachi As far as I remember, Mü' was a new-born in S3. So, that means, Sasuke didn't die afterall, right? You didn't mentioned Kurotsuchi about being preggers again as far as I remember, did you? Hmmmm...bravo, way to drive me even more nuts with speculations.

    Side Note: 3 kids...I guess, Sasuke was the most "active" one compared to the others' in his generation

    Quote Originally Posted by Michael Westen View Post
    *Pant* ... *Pant* Child's trick like that aren't going to work on me. You should know that by now, Naruto...
    Child trick? What did they try on him? I think, you should have skipped momentarily to Tsunade-Mei's battlefield in this chapter. The focus should have remained on the sole main battle imo.

    Anyways, points I liked:

    1. The opening sequence was pretty hilarious. The Suiton to wake Minato up was creatively thought. And I love most parts in that sequence. Perhaps, you didn't get much time to showcase Naruto's relation with Hinata and his children as much in LSoK (Part 1) since you concentrated on the events of your story but I guess, this timeskip cleverly gives you some time to portray the family ties of Jiraiya with his whole entourage and that's pretty sweet to read.

    2. I'm starting to adore Miyuki. If we go by the new grown-up generations, she's the one I'm liking the most till now. And the comedy and sexy sequences got a lot to do with this liking of mine.

    3. The battle of Naruto/Sasuke v/s Tobi. It wasn't something huge but this battle is the main wheel of this Sequel. So, any parts of this battle (even short ones) grasps the reader's attention. I like how you incorporated Naruto's interaction with Kurama. I guess, that's one element that got added once Kishi revealed more in his manga.

    Disliked points:

    1. How you showed the battle of Naruto/Sasuke v/s Tobi in bits and spurts only? I wished you revealed some little more details; even if it would have been at the expense of showing Tsunade/Mei's battle. But I do understand you somewhat. I also depicted that battle in my own way but since Tobi blocks so many offenses; it gets tiring at a point to keep depicting those events. He's one hell of a strong defensive son of a *****. Even Kishi keeps jumping in the current manga when it comes to Tobi v/s Naruto & Co. battleground. So, yeah, I do understand the reasoning partly and besides, I think, you want to reveal the secrets of this battle little by little. Such a tease!

    Otherwise, there's not much I didn't like. This chapter kept building up on pretty much the same steam as C1 and C2; with some more teasers in this one. Since, you did a double-release, I guess, I could say that it was a very good comeback. :ice:
     
         

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    Re: The Legendary Sage of Konoha Returns, Chapter 3

    Hmmm, what did Kakashi mean? Is he the only/first one who realised that Minato has both Uzumaki and Uchiha DNA? Did he remember something from the war he learned about that combination? Oh well, going to have to wait it out to know I'm so glad you showed us more of the Tobi vs Naruto and Sasuke battle, even if it took a slight skip. What are Sasuke and Naruto planning now? And what was the "child's trick" they tried to pull off, their shadow windmill (or something like that) technique from back when they first fought Zabuza? I can imagine it lol
     
         

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    Re: The Legendary Sage of Konoha Returns, Chapter 3

    Just read every chapter. AWESOME. I loved it. Let me know when a new one comes out!
     
         

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    Re: The Legendary Sage of Konoha Returns, Chapter 3

    Quote Originally Posted by Escorpiius View Post
    Well, I guess, this chapter's length is pretty appropriate Not much "exceptional" occurrings occurred in this chapter but I think, most sequences worked pretty well. Since you said that events of the "war" will start being more and more revealed after C3, I guess this was a pretty good appetizer for upcoming high-points in your other chapters.

    Certain points that caught my attention!



    , didn't she just state a no-jutsu in the house minute ago? The entire sequence was very well-done btw; keeping the fun mood that was breathed from C2 intact in this opening part of the chapter too. More on that later...



    That's a bit rude, isn't it? I mean, I know Jiraiya and Hiruzen were rivals but they were pretty close friends too. I'm a bit surprised that he took such a potshot towards his friend; even if he used to whine a lot about Jiraiya in his kid's days.



    So, their dad is their sensei? That's a bit weird.. Plus, it's kinda supports my above point. I mean, push-ups for his friend's son and training for his daughters.

    Don't know if I'm right on that but I'm wondering if Jiraiya and Hiruzen had an argument over the years. Though I doubt it since Jiraiya still praises Mito and Hiruzen a lot. But I didn't expect Hiruzen to be so strict-like. Especially since he's Lee's son who's so jovial and kind-hearted.

    Btw, are Ami and Aiko twins since they are in the same team? Going by Minato's dream, I guess he likes both of them Will you do a love triangle?



    My following question/s got no relation to this quote but this thought popped up after I read this line, so I'm gonna say it anyways?

    Are Mito and Hiruzen married together? If yes, is Hiruzen are more bitter towards Jiraiya because of the time, that the latter passes with Mito? Jealousy? Or did Mito and Hiruzen marry two different persons separately?



    Mission huh? Related with the sekaiteki-kage?



    Don't worry, Kakashi, I'm preetty much on the same boat. Seriosuly, Mikey, you went so far into the story that I'll indeed end up visualizing Kakashi as an old man with a cane in hand At this rate, the story will end up like this





    Thank you, Kakashi. We're so alike



    Saperlipopette, wait a sec! So, Sasuke and Kurotsuchi had a 3rd kid, Itachi As far as I remember, Mü' was a new-born in S3. So, that means, Sasuke didn't die afterall, right? You didn't mentioned Kurotsuchi about being preggers again as far as I remember, did you? Hmmmm...bravo, way to drive me even more nuts with speculations.

    Side Note: 3 kids...I guess, Sasuke was the most "active" one compared to the others' in his generation



    Child trick? What did they try on him? I think, you should have skipped momentarily to Tsunade-Mei's battlefield in this chapter. The focus should have remained on the sole main battle imo.

    Anyways, points I liked:

    1. The opening sequence was pretty hilarious. The Suiton to wake Minato up was creatively thought. And I love most parts in that sequence. Perhaps, you didn't get much time to showcase Naruto's relation with Hinata and his children as much in LSoK (Part 1) since you concentrated on the events of your story but I guess, this timeskip cleverly gives you some time to portray the family ties of Jiraiya with his whole entourage and that's pretty sweet to read.

    2. I'm starting to adore Miyuki. If we go by the new grown-up generations, she's the one I'm liking the most till now. And the comedy and sexy sequences got a lot to do with this liking of mine.

    3. The battle of Naruto/Sasuke v/s Tobi. It wasn't something huge but this battle is the main wheel of this Sequel. So, any parts of this battle (even short ones) grasps the reader's attention. I like how you incorporated Naruto's interaction with Kurama. I guess, that's one element that got added once Kishi revealed more in his manga.

    Disliked points:

    1. How you showed the battle of Naruto/Sasuke v/s Tobi in bits and spurts only? I wished you revealed some little more details; even if it would have been at the expense of showing Tsunade/Mei's battle. But I do understand you somewhat. I also depicted that battle in my own way but since Tobi blocks so many offenses; it gets tiring at a point to keep depicting those events. He's one hell of a strong defensive son of a *****. Even Kishi keeps jumping in the current manga when it comes to Tobi v/s Naruto & Co. battleground. So, yeah, I do understand the reasoning partly and besides, I think, you want to reveal the secrets of this battle little by little. Such a tease!

    Otherwise, there's not much I didn't like. This chapter kept building up on pretty much the same steam as C1 and C2; with some more teasers in this one. Since, you did a double-release, I guess, I could say that it was a very good comeback. :ice:
    Indeed, I kind off had to end it before the battle managed to get too far, so that I can focus fully on it from chapter 4 and onwards.

    Haha, well due to the circumstances, I guess she allowed an exception, lol.
    Personally I was literally crying from laughter when writing in that part where Jiraiya flooded Minato's room in an attempt to wake him up, lol. I think that's the funniest thing I've written so far in my opinion.

    Well he has to be strict and not let him of easy, or else he would just keep oversleeping all the time. But don't worry, Hiruzen is a nice guy, just like his father, Rock Lee Although it was basically said in a tiring way, hanging his head than a mean and strict way (Kind of like how Gai and Lee acts when they're disappointed - When Sakura rejects Lee for example, lol). That's at least how I pictured it.

    Yeah, just as Kakashi said to Jiraiya
    Haha, well it acts as a support for a story right there, kind off like how Kakashi seemed at the beginning of the show, all serious and never passing anyone, before Naruto, Sasuke and Sakura comes along that is.
    But you're actually giving me some ideas here, although I'm not sure if I'll act on them or not... yet. One on point though, Hiruzen has kind off been in the shadow of Jiraiya, similar to how Naruto and Sasuke were back in the days (although it shifted some back and forth between them), but I assure you, they're best friends, just like Naruto and Lee.
    Well you could say that Hiruzen keeps his father's spirit by training out a lot, and training is important to him, and in the Naruto world, 1000 push ups isn't really that much. Besides, Minato was too busy being pissed at himself for being late.
    Yep, and I'm leaning towards something like that. In fact, Minato will end up with one of them (As I haven't really explored team mates hooking up in my FF yet, more cross the team), not sure with who yet though.

    "Are Mito and Hiruzen married together? If yes, is Hiruzen are more bitter towards Jiraiya because of the time, that the latter passes with Mito? Jealousy? Or did Mito and Hiruzen marry two different persons separately?"

    Not sure if I fully understood this question, but I guess you mean if they're married/together and Hiruzen and Mito being the parents of Ami and Aiko... That's a thought I've been leaning towards and yes, that's the case. Although I haven't shown their family life in this FF yet, but I'm going to way later.

    Then I guess you swapped the names and meant to ask "Is Jiraiya more bitter towards Hiruzen because of the time when Mito and Hiruzen got together"? If that was the question, then the answer is no. I've been picturing Hiruzen being in love with Mito, while Mito has been in love with Jiraiya and Jiraiya wasn't in love with anyone (Naruto -> Sakura -> Sasuke), but eventually, Hiruzen and Mito got together (though as you've seen, Mito isn't all Jiraiya kun!! like all the girls are towards Sasuke in the manga).
    Though, as it's going to be shown later on, Jiraiya and Miyuki got together at an early point (Jiraiya is close to 20 while Miyuki is close to 18, meaning about 8 years after the war as Jiraiya is 12 and Miyuki is 10 in the "past" during Naruto and Sasuke vs Tobi). Hope that clears it up

    Once again, good idea Didn't really put much thought in that, but that's actually a nice twist on it. I'm not really sure how I'm going to fuse the past with the present (of chapter 1 and 2) and then jump back to the point where chapter 3 left of, yet. But there is going to be some concluding storyline after the present time of chapter 3 and I might add in something... wow wait, actually I'm just going to call it short and say no As That wouldn't match the stuff I've already written, so no, it was just a plain mission.

    Kakashi is like 68 or something in this chapter, while Jiraiya is 32
    Haha, got to love the pic xD

    Haha, I think I was actually going to put in that Mito was the mother in this chapter, but I guess I must have forgot At least we know that Hiruzen is the father of the two and that he's their sensei as well

    I actually cleared that up in my reply to you on chapter two
    See that reply for the answer of Miyuki - Itachi --> Mü.
    Haha, yeah

    "Child trick" - See my reply to Danivass further down in this reply, on this one

    1: Yeah you have some point there, and being as Minato will play out a bigger role afterwards, I'll have to "fill out" Jiraiya and Miyuki as well.

    2: Haha, well she's a favorite of mine as well

    3: Yeah, about the Kurama - Naruto, that's actually something I've chosen to focus more on due to the latest manga, like I said in my reply to your reply on your chapter recently, I'm kind off depended to be as close to and a little ahead of the current manga.
    Regarding this fight being the main wheel... Actually Well I choose not to say anything yet, though I might reveal that the fight end in chapter 5 o__O

    --------------------

    1: I'm starting to forget where I said this (), but I chose it this way specifically so that I could end chapter 3 with a little taste as possible, due to chapter 4 and 5 taking the majority of the battle.

    Thanks It's actually my first "real" double release (not counting chapter 1 and Kakashi 3) to ever be made. The closest I've got is releasing two chapters in 2-3 days.

    Chapter 4 is actually already thought out, but after going some back and forth, I've decided to "steal" some parts from the already written chapter 5 and "paste" it into chapter 4. Not only to "de-size" chapter 5, but also to fill out chapter 4 more and make them more equal in length.

    I'm picturing a release of chapter 4 on Wednesday, then chapter 5 on the Wednesday the week after. Being as my FF will match the manga right on the spot from chapter 4 and 5, I thought it would be fun to release them at the same days as the manga. It also give me time next week to start on chapter 6 and possible 7, which are going to be really hard as they will move on to Kakashi and Gai vs Akashi and then Kabuto's plan...

    Quote Originally Posted by danivass View Post
    Hmmm, what did Kakashi mean? Is he the only/first one who realised that Minato has both Uzumaki and Uchiha DNA? Did he remember something from the war he learned about that combination? Oh well, going to have to wait it out to know I'm so glad you showed us more of the Tobi vs Naruto and Sasuke battle, even if it took a slight skip. What are Sasuke and Naruto planning now? And what was the "child's trick" they tried to pull off, their shadow windmill (or something like that) technique from back when they first fought Zabuza? I can imagine it lol
    No, but Thinking about Miyuki being the daughter of Sasuke and knowing that Jiraiya is Naruto's son, got him thinking about Sasuke and Naruto, which triggered the flashback

    Maybe, in fact, that was actually a pretty good idea That's the beauty of leaving some of it up to the reader to imagine I guess

    Thanks for reading, and I know that both the chapter and the fight was short in this chapter, but it's mainly because I want to take off with a bang in chapter 4 and 5.

    Quote Originally Posted by gordo1 View Post
    Just read every chapter. AWESOME. I loved it. Let me know when a new one comes out!
    Wow, that's fast O__o Must have taken you a long time Didn't think I would be getting too many new readers at this point, especially new readers that read through the whole thing from the beginning.
    Thanks, and I will
     
         
    Last edited by Michael92; 08-04-2012 at 02:14 AM.

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    Re: The Legendary Sage of Konoha Returns, Chapter 3

    I better not posted any comment in this one as everything is most said especially the questions that Kyon had actually. But I was thinking, what would happen if you separated these chapters in 2 parts, it would go like 50 chaps? Wow, long. This is where the real action starts for me so I love it.
     
         

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    Re: The Legendary Sage of Konoha Returns, Chapter 3

    Quote Originally Posted by Gilda View Post
    I better not posted any comment in this one as everything is most said especially the questions that Kyon had actually. But I was thinking, what would happen if you separated these chapters in 2 parts, it would go like 50 chaps? Wow, long. This is where the real action starts for me so I love it.
    Haha, yeah that tends to happen after some of the readers, like Escorp and Kyon have already posted their views, lol, due to their keen eyes to details.

    But yeah you're right, I could have split most of the chapters in two parts, maybe even three parts, but that would make the build up chapters in row without any fight too many and people would get bored easily, lol. As I've mentioned some times before, I don't really like going over the limit of two "build up chapters" in row
     
         

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    Re: The Legendary Sage of Konoha Returns 3 [18]

    i liked this chapter......good work
     
         

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