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    Legendary Sage of Konoha Michael92's Avatar
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    The Legendary Sage of Konoha Returns 4 [19]

    Note: Just a heads up... The next six chapters or so will mainly remain in the past, where the battle between Tobi, Naruto and Sasuke left off (See chapter 3 + the 15 chapters of the original). This doesn't necessarily mean that the battle lasts for 6 chapters though

    The Legendary Sage of Konoha Series, Previous Chapters [In Chronological Reading Order]:



    The Legendary Sage of Konoha Returns, Chapter 4;
    Reinforcement:

    Tsunade: I can't begin to say how glad I am that those birds managed to reach out to you guys!

    As the allied forces came charging in from behind the hill, heavily outnumbering the Zetsu army, Mei and Tsunade watched as their forces' moral went skyrocketing.

    Mei: Look, the Zetsu army seems to be retreating as well?!

    A: Mei, Tsunade! We came as fast as we could... Shinobi army, attack!

    As he commanded, a smaller portion of the gigantic army began pursuing the retreating Zetsus, as the tide of the battle slowly began to shift.

    Tsunade: We need to set up a perimeter around this area, and divide our forces to take back the city.

    Mei: You're right, we need to get the city under control as fast as possible, we need to save the civilians!

    Tsunade: If we can get the city under control, it will be easier to maneuver our troops to the remaining battles. At this point, we have no control over who's battling who.

    A: Right, we'll divide into groups and enlist a member of the Yamanaka clan to each one of them, with Inoichi controlling the network from here. That way, we'll stay connected at all time.

    Inoichi: Roger!

    Mei: Good thinking, but we need to work fast, the longer we stand around coming up with a plan, the more precious time we waste.

    As they were just about to go on with their plan, a small group of shinobi arrived from behind them.

    Tsunade: You guys?!

    Konohamaru: We came as fast as we could after we relieved those birds.

    Shikaku: If things are as bad as they sound, we need to act as fast as we can.

    Inoichi: Ino, you're here as well. Great, that will strengthen our com-link network.

    Ino: Right!

    Tsunade: What about Kakashi and Gai? Weren't they suppose to return to the village with that Akatsuki girl we captured? They should have been here with you guys by now.

    Konohamaru: Yes they did, and she was sent to interrogation by Ibiki, but there's more to the story... Kakashi and Gai were attacked by that other Akatsuki member you fought earlier, on the way home... Akashi. Gai escorted the prisoner back to Konoha, before he hurried back together with Neji and Sai to help him out. After a brief fight, Akashi retreated and they gave chase. We ran into each other when crossing the water to Kirigakure from the Wave country and Kakashi and Gai followed a lead to track him down further up north, while Sai and Neji joined us to help out. That's why they're not with us.

    Tsunade: What? Does this mean...

    Shikaku: And we learned something else too. When Kakashi fought him, he spotted a binding seal on him, meaning he's being controlled by Kabuto.

    Mei: You think that he's retreating from the fight to rendezvous with Kabuto?

    Tsunade: ?! That's it!

    Konohamaru: What is it?

    Tsunade: That would explain why the Edo Tensei suddenly was released... Maybe Kabuto is scheming a plan of his own... but would he betray Tobi after all this time?

    As they were discussing the matter, a shinobi, who had held quiet for sometime, suddenly interrupted them.

    Hinata: Tsunade sama, where is... *pant* ... Where is Naruto?!

    Tsunade: Hinata?! What on earth are you doing here, you gave birth four days ago, you're in no condition to fight!

    Hinata: I had to come... I need to check on Naruto!

    A: ?! That reminds me... My brother... Killerbee, where is he?!

    As he spoke, A recognized two shinobies who came running towards him from the shinobi crowd.

    A: Tokie, Ine?! If you're here, then where is Killerbee? You're suppose to stay with him at all time.

    A little surprised and shocked at the same time to see his two daughters, A pressed the sad, but harsh truth. As they explained how Killerbee was captured after being outmaneuvered by Tobi, Kabuto and Akashi, A got more and more enraged.

    A: That's it! I'll personally hunt the two of them down and kill them!

    Tsunade: Raikage, you can't act carelessly, Bee might still be alive.

    As she spoke, more troops from behind them came over the hill as three large forces came into view.

    Mei: Look, it's reinforcement from the Sand, Stone and the Samurais! Looks like all the letters made it!

    The three forces came together as Tsunade, Mei, A and the rest went to greet them. As they met, three shinobies stepped forward.

    Onoki: We got here as fast as we could.

    Mifune: To think they would attack us out of nowhere. We Samurai will do whatever we can to help.

    Baki: The Sand council sent as many reinforcement as they could. Kazekage sama... Gaara, where is he?

    Tsunade: We have no control over the situation. We all got separated as the kage meeting was interrupted by a bomb of some sort.

    As the whole army had arrived and begun preparing the counter attack, Mei and Tsunade shared the info they had gathered as the Yamanaka clan, lead by Inoichi, began preparing the com-link network. The forces divided up in four groups, each with their own objective. The first group, lead by Mei, together with Konohamaru, Jiraiya, Darui, Omoi, Karui and a larger portion of the army, went to retake and gain control over the city. The second group, lead by Onoki, together with Akatsuchi, Kurotsuchi, Jugo, Baki and a smaller part of the troops, went towards the north gate of Kirigakure, to circle around the city to help out any on the way. The third group, lead by Tsunade, together with Mifune, Kiba, Shino, Sai, Neji, Choji, Ino, Tenten, Hinata and countless others, went towards the south point of Kirigakure, with the same objective as the second group. In the end, they would all meet at the east side of Kirigakure, and thereby securing the whole village. The fourth and last group, with A, Shikaku, Inoichi and Shee in the lead, took charge over the defense perimeter that they had put up at the west side of the village, to lead the forces from there.

    A: Alright, is everyone ready? You know what to do!

    Shinobi Army: Roger!

    [...]

    Naruto: Here we come!

    Charging in at Tobi, dragging their hands along the ground with each of their trademark techniques, Naruto and Sasuke ripped it open as they went straight for him, causing several stones, flints and other objects to fly towards Tobi at an intense speed.

    Tobi: Not good enough!

    Tobi pulled forth his gunbai as he swung it around in the air several times, deflecting the stones in all directions. But as his sight was just about to clear, Naruto and Sasuke jumped in and aimed their Rasengan and Chidori straight at him as Tobi barely managed to get up the gunbai to protect himself. A large shockwave occurred as Sasuke and Naruto crashed into it.

    Tobi: !!

    The insensitivity of the attack made Tobi barely hold his ground as small cracks began to appear on the gunbai.

    Tobi (In thought): It can't be?!

    In a last ditch attempt, Tobi used all of his force as he pushed Naruto and Sasuke backwards, sending them flying on their backs, crashing towards the ground.

    Sasuke: Ugh!

    Tobi: *Pant...Pant*

    Naruto: It's not working!

    Sasuke: *Pant...Pant* Naruto, you're missing the details, look!

    Naruto looked over at Tobi as he realized their attack had caused a crack on Tobi's gunbai.

    Naruto: Hehe, if we can just keep this up for a little longer!

    Sasuke: I don't have much chakra left Naruto... *pant* I'm totally exhausted from battling those dragons and using my Eternal Mangekyo Sharingan and the Susanoo earlier.

    Sasuke rested one of his knees on the ground as his sharingan closely watched Tobi from afar.

    Naruto: Yeah me too, but we can't give up yet... Let me try something...Naruto quickly formed some hand seals as four clones appeared beside him.

    Tobi: ?? Only four clones... seems like you're getting more tired than you care to admit, Naruto...

    Naruto: Oh, but this is not it!

    Tobi: ?!

    Naruto and the four clones all began charging up a rasengan in hand, but as Tobi prepared himself for Naruto to launch at him, five new clones appeared, standing beside Naruto and the four clones Naruto had previously summoned.

    Sasuke: Are you going to use the Futon: Rasenshuriken?

    Naruto: Not quite, just watch.

    The five clones began adding nature chakra to the Rasengans, but it wasn't just wind style, as both Sasuke and Tobi expected.

    Sasuke: ?! You got the affinity for all of the five basic elements?!

    Naruto himself had created a Futon: Rasenshuriken, but as Sasuke looked up at the other clones, he quickly realized each of them had added a different element.

    Naruto: I learned my first three elements a long time ago, but I just recently discovered I also had affinity for lightning, although nowhere near as powerful as yours.

    Sasuke: !!

    A flashback triggered in Sasuke's mind as he remembered how Naruto used both wind, water and fire techniques against him in their fight over twelve years ago.

    Tobi (In thought): So when you used that earth clone earlier, you were still a rookie at using earth element...

    Rocks, fireballs, lightning bolts, wind waves and thin, sharp, water-currents went spiraling, each around the five different rasengans as Naruto continued.

    Naruto: Futon: RasenShuriken!

    Naruto Clone 1: Katon: Rasenshuriken!

    Naruto Clone 2: Suiton: Rasenshuriken!

    Naruto Clone 3: Doton: Rasenshuriken!

    Naruto Clone 4: Raiton: Rasenshuriken!

    Naruto: You won't be able to survive this!

    Each of the five shurikens went at Tobi with intense speed, as Tobi stretched out his gunbai to protect himself.

    Tobi: Shit!

    A large explosion appeared as the five shurikens crashed right into were Tobi stood, causing rocks and dirt flying, as smoke filled the scenery.

    Naruto: I got him?!

    The smoke slowly settled as Tobi still stood standing, heat vaporizing from him as clear burnt marks was shown on his arms.

    Naruto: What?!

    Sasuke: !! Naruto!

    Tobi (In thought): *Pant, Pant* I made it just in time... Using these rinnegan techniques with only one eye takes up a lot of chakra, especially since I'm almost out of it... *pant*

    Sasuke: Right before you hit him, Tobi holstered his gunbai on his back as he reached both his arms out in front of him.

    Naruto: Did he use Shinra Tensei?

    Sasuke: No this was different.

    Naruto: Could it be... the Preta path of the rinnegan?

    Sasuke: The one where he absorbs the chakra of the jutsu?

    Naruto: But if he did, my attack shouldn't have caused an explosion like that.

    Sasuke: He might have made it in the last second... or he's not good at using it.

    Tobi: *Pant, Pant* Clever boy, Sasuke, your sharingan catches the smallest of details.

    Tobi, being forced down to one of his knees due to the force of Naruto's attack, pulled himself up as Naruto readied himself for another attack.

    Naruto: Not done yet!

    As Naruto was just about to move on with a new attack, a dense feeling filled the air...



    Five of Naruto's clones, whom he had used earlier on the previous attack, then picked up a kunai each, while the rest of them vanished to save chakra. They all used an element each as the kunais formed into fire, wind, lightning, water and earth swords, each with their own ability and strength. Before Tobi managed to gather himself from the last attack, the five clones launched at him as he pulled out his gunbai again to counter. Countless attacks were exchanged as Tobi maneuvered between them.

    Naruto: Even without his space/time technique, and even in this state, his reflex and dodging ability is still this damn good?!

    Tobi continued dodging and countering the attacks, slowly defeating the clones, until only the clone with the wind kunai stood standing. They clashed with intense might as they were trying to force their attacks through the other.Cracking sounds began leaking from the gunbai as the crack in it widened even more and slowly began stretching itself over the middle of it. Knowing that it would break if he continued guarding, Tobi swung the gunbai around, managing to hit the clone in the back, causing it to disappear. As he turned himself towards Naruto, he barely managed to get up a block as Naruto already had fired up a new kunai and charged at him. But this time it was different, as the kunai Naruto had in hand was glowing in all sorts of colors as if shaped by all of the five elements.

    Tobi: Impossible!

    Naruto pressed his attack as the gunbai slowly began cracking even more, until it finally went under the pressure of Naruto's kunai, breaking it in half. Naruto was just about to hit Tobi, as Tobi, in a last ditched attempt, managed to grab the sickle on the end of the gunbai and steer Naruto's attack into the ground instead. Tobi jumped away to gain space as Naruto quickly followed, leaving Tobi without room to catch his breath.

    Tobi: Back off!

    Naruto moved closer, in for the kill, as he seemingly had Tobi off guard in the air, when Tobi's arm suddenly began transforming as countless rockets and bombs went flying towards Naruto.

    Naruto: The Asura path, eh? Not going to stop me!

    Naruto swung his five elemental charged kunai in all direction, sending the rockets off course and crashing towards the ground. Naruto gained closer and closer to Tobi as Tobi realized the attacks wasn't working.

    Tobi: Damn it!

    Sasuke: You got him Naruto!

    Naruto: You're mine!

    Appearing right in front of Tobi, Naruto was just about to slash at him as Tobi's arm suddenly changed it's shape into a combination between a longsword and a spear, deflecting Naruto's attack. Naruto swung around, attempting another slash at Tobi as Tobi barely managed to get the block up in time. The two of them landed on the ground, locked in a fierce stalemate. Naruto pushed onwards, as he forced one of Tobi's knees to touch the ground as several sweat drops began forming on Tobi's face. Right when everyone thought Naruto was going to strike Tobi down, Tobi suddenly managed to call forth some final strength as a large shockwave began forming around him.

    Tobi (in thought): It's ready!

    Naruto: ?!

    Tobi: Shinra Tensei!!

    Unable to hold back the blast, Naruto was sent flying on his back as he crashed towards the ground, right beside where Sasuke stood. Sasuke rushed to his side as Naruto sat up, Panting heavily.

    *Sarutobi's theme ends*

    Naruto: *Pant, Pant, Pant* Not done yet...

    Sasuke: How do you even manage to keep going like this?! You should have been out of chakra a long time ago, the nine tails fox or not.

    Naruto: Hehe... *Pant, Pant* We almost got him.

    The battle had lasted so long, that the three of them had already lost count.Tobi was struggling to get back on his feet as he looked over at Naruto and Sasuke.

    Tobi: You're underestimating me... *pant, pant*... too much... *pant, pant*... I'm not going to go down that easily!

    Tobi got back on his feet, as Naruto forced himself to do the same, but to no vain.

    Naruto: Ugh...

    Sasuke: Are you alright?!

    Naruto: Yeah I'm fine... Sasuke, could you give me a minute or two? Since I'm totally out of chakra right now, it only leaves me one choice... To rely 100% on Natural chakra... I'm going to turn on sage mode, but for that, I need you to buy me some time...

    Sasuke: Right, it won't be a problem.

    Sasuke drew his katana as he charged at Tobi with lightning element enforcing it. Tobi met him halfway as they clashed with their weapons.

    Naruto (In thoughts): Just buy me a little time Sasuke, that's all I need...

    [...]

    Yamato: They just won't budge! My chakra... I can't hold them off much longer!

    Hiruzen: We can't give up now, all these civilians depends on us!

    Mito: He's right, we'll have to hold out... until reinforcement arrives!

    Still stuck in the village's underground safehouse, Yamato's wooden barrier began weakening more and more from keeping the Zetsus out as Hiruzen, Mito and the few guards that had come along with them, tried everything they could to protect the villagers of Kirigakure. As all hope seemed lost, Hiruzen suddenly spotted movement from outside the barrier.

    Hiruzen: ?! Yamato sensei, look!

    Yamato: It can't be... Reinforcement?!

    Konohamaru: Futon: Rasenshuriken!

    As the Zetsus still were trying to get into the underground safehouse of Kiri, they were too busy getting in to notice the large shinobi force charging in from behind them as Konohamaru sent a Rasenshuriken flying right towards them.

    Mito: Take cover!

    A large, piercing sound was heard as several Zetsus went flying in all direction. As the Zetsus turned around to face the new treat, a young man came running towards them, charged with Rasengan in one hand and Chidori in the other.

    Jiraiya: I won't let you keep harassing the civilians any longer!

    Jiraiya ran through the huge swarm of Zetsus with both of his arms stretched out, causing countless of them to fall to the ground, as Mei, and the rest of the troops, quickly arrived behind them. Being overwhelmed by a superior force, the Zetsu army scattered as they began retreating east, and out of the village.

    Konohamaru: I did it! I finally did it!... If only Naruto saw me now!

    Exhausted from finally being able to pull of a Rasenshuriken successfully by throwing it, Konohamaru's sage mode went out. Yamato lowered his wooden barrier as the villagers rejoiced at the sight of their mizukage.

    Yamato: Jiraiya?! Where on earth have you been? What was the first rule I ever thought you as a team? Never run off alone!

    Mad, but still thankful for seeing Jiraiya and the rest of the forces, Yamato scolded him.

    Jiraiya: But... but... I saved you in the end!

    Mito: That's amazing Jiraiya! You're so strong!

    Hiruzen: Humph, I could have done that too!

    Yamato: Mizukage sama, am I glad to see you here. A minute longer and the Zetsus would have breached...

    As he said, Mei suddenly and surprisingly grabbed a hold of him and hugged him in tears.

    Mei: I can't thank you enough for protecting the villagers whom can't fight. If you hadn't been here, who knows what would have happened.

    Yamato: Ehehe, I did only what I had to.

    Darui: The city is secured, we should put off some forces to give chase to those Zetsus, while the rest remains here.

    Mei: Right, inform A that the city is secured, and that he can move the perimeter over here. We'll then move out to help the rest once he arrives.

    Yamanaka clan member: Roger!

    Konohamaru: I didn't expect running into you guys here.

    Yamato: I see that you've finally mastered the Rasenshuriken, Konohamaru-kun.

    As he said, Yamato triggered something in Konohamaru's mind, that he knew was bad news.

    Konohamaru (In Thoughts): Wait... this means that I've finally passed the final test Naruto set out for me to master sage mode... which officially makes me a Toad Sage... It can't be?!

    Konohamaru suddenly remembered something Naruto and himself were told over 7 years ago.

    *Flashback begins*

    Great Toad Sage: This war is different... I see an isolated war. Three shinobies separated from the rest, trapped within a... ... Something big, that forces them to fight to the death. One man will prevail, while the two others... will die. One with a pure heart, another with an evil intent, and the third... A man who seeks redemption... This man is someone you know...

    Great Toad Sage: Hmm... It's unclear, but this man with a pure heart will then meet several people from the past, people he knew... And together move on towards the future...

    Great Toad Sage: Uzumaki Naruto... You will bring upon the period of the Three Great Toad Sages...

    Great Toad Sage: ... Hmm... It's a bit unclear, but this Sarutobi kid will be the first of the three you will guide...

    Konohamaru: I will?! Then that means... I will master Sage mode!...

    Konohamaru: Trapped in a battle to the death, meeting people from the past...

    Great Toad Sage: When the three new sages are ready, when your legacy is ready, you will be ready, Uzumaki Naruto. That is all...

    *Flashback ends*

    Konohamaru: I know where Naruto is!

    Mei: What?!

    [...]

    Temari: Looks like the remaining Zetsu forces are retreating.

    Kankuro: After the Edo Tensei suddenly disappeared, the Zetsu army has slowly, but steadily begun retreating... What should our next move be, Gaara? Should we give chase...

    As he spoke, reinforcement suddenly arrived from behind them.

    Temari: Reinforcement?

    Kankuro: You're late... The battle is already over here.

    Baki: Kazekage sama, are you alright?

    Onoki: Gaara, you seem to have everything under control here.

    Gaara: We've managed to beat down the Zetsu forces occupying this side of the country, they begun retreating as soon as the Edo Tensei disappeared.

    Onoki: So they've been released here as well... That means Kabuto is indeed up to something.

    Kurotsuchi: Have you seen Sasuke?!

    Rushing from behind Onoki, Kurotsuchi pressed the matter.

    Kankuro: In matter of fact, he gave chase to the two Akatsuki members who retreated earlier...

    Gaara: ?!

    Temari: What is it Gaara?

    Gaara: Isn't the Zetsus retreating in the same direction Sasuke went?

    Onoki: ?! Then that means something is definitely going on over there.

    Yamanaka clan member: Report just came in, the city has been secured and the Zetsus army seems to be at full retreat towards the east side of the country. The main force has already moved within the city, as Mei, A, Konohamaru and several others have begun pursuing the retreating army.

    Onoki: Then that's where we should go as well!

    As they all began moving towards the east side of the country, to meet up with rest, one man, who hadn't said too much as of lately, was in deep thoughts, pondering on a question he just couldn't find an answer to.

    Jugo (In thought): Could it be that Sasuke is in a lock-down with Tobi?... I'm having a bad feeling about this all, Suigetsu, where on earth are you?

    [...]

    Ino: !!

    Tsunade: What is it?

    Ino: Just got a report from my father... The city and the north side has been secured. The Zetsu army seems to be retreating towards the east side of the country...

    Neji: Look up ahead, allies!

    As they were moving down the south side of the country, they suddenly spotted a heavily outnumbered force fighting the Zetsu army.

    Sakura: Shikamaru, over there!

    Shikamaru: Finally, this was beginning to look bad!

    Rock Lee: I can still... *Pant*...*Pant*... deal with these plant heads!

    The allied reinforcement, with Tsunade in the lead, charged at the Zetsu army as a fierce battle broke out and lasted for almost an hour, before the Zetsu forces finally began scattering.

    Tsunade: Are you guys alright?

    Catching their breaths, Tsunade suddenly realized that Lee was in a really bad shape.

    Sakura: Lee!

    Rock Lee suddenly tumbled over as he fell on his back.

    Rock Lee: I'm alright... *pant*... Just tired from using the gates, that's all.

    Neji: You shouldn't push yourself too hard, you could end up dying from the after-effects!

    Tsunade: He's right, here let me heal you.

    Rock Lee: We would end up dead anyways if I didn't push myself to the limit... *pant*

    As Tsunade went to heal him, new Intel from the other forces came in.

    Ino (In thought): Roger...

    Mifune: Something new?

    Ino: The allied forces has made contact at the east side of the village. There is a fight going on between Naruto, Sasuke and Tobi there!

    Sakura: What?!

    Hinata: Then we... need... to hurry over there, to help them!

    Mifune: Then Tobi should be outnumbered, right?

    Ino: They seem to be trapped in some sort of barrier.

    Tsunade: Barrier?! Can it be...

    Thinking back, Tsunade remembered the reports that came in on how Hiruzen and Orochimaru fought.

    Tsunade: If Kabuto has trapped them inside a barrier, there won't be a way for us to break through it, without forcing Kabuto to release it!

    Ino: Not only that... as a last defense maneuver, it seems like the remaining Zetsu army has surrounded the barrier. The Allied forces are fighting them as we speak.

    Shikamaru: We need to get there as fast as we can, Sai, could you scout out the area ahead?

    Sai: Right!

    Sai summoned a bird as he took off from the ground and into the air.

    Rock Lee: Then we need to hurry, no time to rest!

    Sakura: Lee?!

    Rock Lee: I'm fine, let's go!

    Leaping in front of the others, the rest quickly followed.

    ~ End Chapter 4


    Next time, Tobi's identity revealed!

    Fun Fact: This is the 25th chapter I've released so far in The Legendary Sage of Konoha Series over the past two years... Time flies by fast indeed, guess this is some sort of Anniversary?
     
         
    Last edited by Michael92; 08-14-2012 at 10:55 PM. Reason: ...

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    Re: The Legendary Sage of Konoha Returns, Chapter 4

    Great
     
         

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    Re: The Legendary Sage of Konoha Returns, Chapter 4

    ._. The size of this chapter is really quite intimidating, but I managed to read it all! :overjoy:

    Your a really good writer, but there are a couple of things that need polishing in your work though, ( Who am I to talk really, you have 3 FF medals ).

    You seemed to be rushing a bit into the parts, I read a couple of lines twice because I didn't understand some parts ( But that's probably because I was getting lost in the size of this chapter )

    I really like your work, i'll end up reading the previous chapters later, notify me when the next one is out!


    Mei: Good thinking, but we need to work fast, the longer we stand around coming up with a plan, the more presious - Precious time we waste.

    As they were just about to go on with their plan, a small group of shinobies - Shinobi is plural by itself, so no need to add the ies at the end.arrived from behind them.
    couple of mistakes I found x)
     
         

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    Re: The Legendary Sage of Konoha Returns, Chapter 4

    Awesome chapter!!!!

    Parts I liked:
    1.The length of your ff
    I really love to read long ffs
    2.The building up of your story......
    Though the story was long it didnt seem to reveal everything and kept things to be revealed in the future
    3.Writing style
    I love the way you mix the flashbacks n the normal story.....so it really makes reading interesting

    N hey congrats on successfully completing your 25th chapter
     
         

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    Re: The Legendary Sage of Konoha Returns, Chapter 4

    i enjoyed reading this, it was well written anyways keep up the good-work !
     
         

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    Re: The Legendary Sage of Konoha Returns, Chapter 4

    splendid!
     
         

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    Re: The Legendary Sage of Konoha Returns, Chapter 4

    Really good work.
     
         

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    Re: The Legendary Sage of Konoha Returns, Chapter 4

    As I thought back when Naruto's wind release training started and the whole "with the clones you can reduce your training time a lot" Naruto has all 5 natures I mean, I remember the explanation why one could not master all five being that it would take a very very long time but that wouldn't apply to Naruto's special training method now, would it I compliment you on having the idea of surprising us with that :P I'm glad to see things worked out for the shinobi from the kage meeting who were locked in a fight with the Zetsus and am now anticipating to see the end of the fight in the barrier. On a related note, since natural energy has to be in balance with one's chakra to be formed, wouldn't Naruto find it hard to muster up more than just a little bit if he's "totally out of chakra"? Oh well, we can embrace it for the plot :D
     
         

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    Re: The Legendary Sage of Konoha Returns, Chapter 4

    Quote Originally Posted by YoungShinobi View Post
    Great
    Thanks

    Quote Originally Posted by Dribbles View Post
    ._. The size of this chapter is really quite intimidating, but I managed to read it all! :overjoy:

    Your a really good writer, but there are a couple of things that need polishing in your work though, ( Who am I to talk really, you have 3 FF medals ).

    You seemed to be rushing a bit into the parts, I read a couple of lines twice because I didn't understand some parts ( But that's probably because I was getting lost in the size of this chapter )

    I really like your work, i'll end up reading the previous chapters later, notify me when the next one is out!


    couple of mistakes I found x)
    Oh, thanks for the long post
    This is actually one of my shorter ones as I decided to divide the chapter I originally was suppose to release in half as it got too big, so chapter 4 and 5 was originally one chapter, which would have made this over twice as big

    Actually, I got 7 (six 1st places and 1 bronze), but only three shows up here. And I don't really like bragging, lol

    And yeah, some parts seems rushed in this chapter as I wrote this and chapter 5 in one go, which took about 6 hours without stop, lol. Not one of my best IMO.

    Wow, you read this one without reading the previous ones? That must have been hard, like watching the last film in a trilogy or something But I applaud you for actually starting up at my FF this late, considering it's over two years old. Will do

    Quote Originally Posted by Flash07 View Post
    Awesome chapter!!!!

    Parts I liked:
    1.The length of your ff
    I really love to read long ffs
    2.The building up of your story......
    Though the story was long it didnt seem to reveal everything and kept things to be revealed in the future
    3.Writing style
    I love the way you mix the flashbacks n the normal story.....so it really makes reading interesting

    N hey congrats on successfully completing your 25th chapter
    Glad you like those three points as I know some people despise them as the want short chapters, only action and another writing style (the novel style).

    Thanks mate

    Quote Originally Posted by Yuka View Post
    i enjoyed reading this, it was well written anyways keep up the good-work !
    Thanks ^^ You read my previous chapters as well?

    Quote Originally Posted by bhawk View Post
    splendid!
    Thank you mate ^^

    Quote Originally Posted by gordo1 View Post
    Really good work.
    Thanks

    Quote Originally Posted by danivass View Post
    As I thought back when Naruto's wind release training started and the whole "with the clones you can reduce your training time a lot" Naruto has all 5 natures I mean, I remember the explanation why one could not master all five being that it would take a very very long time but that wouldn't apply to Naruto's special training method now, would it I compliment you on having the idea of surprising us with that :P I'm glad to see things worked out for the shinobi from the kage meeting who were locked in a fight with the Zetsus and am now anticipating to see the end of the fight in the barrier. On a related note, since natural energy has to be in balance with one's chakra to be formed, wouldn't Naruto find it hard to muster up more than just a little bit if he's "totally out of chakra"? Oh well, we can embrace it for the plot :D
    Haha, well I remember someone said to me a long time ago that I couldn't let Konohamaru learn the Futon: Rasenshuriken as it was unique to Naruto, but being as Naruto knows all 5 elements in my FF by this time, I thought I would give him some new ones

    I wasn't really thinking of dedicating this much time to the Allied forces, in fact, I was actually thinking of focusing only at Naruto and Sasuke vs Tobi, but in the end I kind of had to fill out the story a bit.

    Yeah But in the Narutoverse, when they say that they're completely out of chakra, they always have a little more
     
         
    Last edited by Michael92; 08-15-2012 at 12:14 AM.

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    Re: The Legendary Sage of Konoha Returns, Chapter 4

    Quote Originally Posted by Michael Westen View Post
    Thanks
    Yeah But in the Narutoverse, when they say that they're completely out of chakra, they always have a little more
    I see that, especially with those who have the highest chakra reserves - perhaps they say they're almost out of chakra based on % and not on quantity+quality It's more probable they do that
     
         

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    Re: The Legendary Sage of Konoha Returns, Chapter 4

    Great job D I enjoyed reading that
     
         

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    Re: The Legendary Sage of Konoha Returns, Chapter 4

    Quote Originally Posted by danivass View Post
    I see that, especially with those who have the highest chakra reserves - perhaps they say they're almost out of chakra based on % and not on quantity+quality It's more probable they do that
    Haha, most likely

    Quote Originally Posted by -Kimiko- View Post
    Great job D I enjoyed reading that
    Thanks ^^ You read the previous ones as well?
     
         

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    Re: The Legendary Sage of Konoha Returns, Chapter 4

    Mhm, if you haven't read the before chapters you know shit about what's going on here. Anyway I really liked this one and I think I got used with your long FF parts.

    The Great Toad Sage (or smth) said that 3 of them will fight each other. Does this mean that Naruto and Sasuke will be against each other again? Or one of them will die to save the other? Oh, wait, need to read the 5th chapter.
     
         

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    Re: The Legendary Sage of Konoha Returns, Chapter 4

    Quote Originally Posted by Gilda View Post
    Mhm, if you haven't read the before chapters you know shit about what's going on here. Anyway I really liked this one and I think I got used with your long FF parts.

    The Great Toad Sage (or smth) said that 3 of them will fight each other. Does this mean that Naruto and Sasuke will be against each other again? Or one of them will die to save the other? Oh, wait, need to read the 5th chapter.
    Yeah, that's the point Not really any point jumping straight to the 4th chapter of the sequel and the 19th chapter overall in this plot, lol

    It wasn't really specified, but as you know by reading the latest chapters surrounding the fight, it's basically Naruto and Sasuke vs Tobi, so there are three people fighting
    ^^
     
         

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    Re: The Legendary Sage of Konoha Returns 4 [19]

    First of all, it feels awesome to read your FF after such a long time; or can we say a long exhausting tiring time from my side. Speaking of time, sorry for the late review but that you know it As for the chapter, well, it was battle-orientated at its best. Your previous chapters of the LSoK sequel had more space for you (as writer) but in this one, I could feel that writing didn't matter much as I sensed how you were literally breathing this battle. To put it simple and correct, you are in your full mastery and element in this one. And I'm damn sure, the next ones I'm going to read, will follow the same route.

    Before, coming back on how much your chapters work...I'd mention some parts that interested me and the likes/dislikes point [as usual ]
    P.S. I know you did miss my reviews on your chapters lol :d

    Quote Originally Posted by Michael92 View Post
    Konohamaru: We came as fast as we could after we **relieved** those birds.
    I think, it's "we received..." not "relieved"

    Quote Originally Posted by Michael92 View Post
    Inoichi: Ino, you're here as well. Great, that will strengthen our com-link network.
    Com-link network? :lmao: Why does this sound like a 3G+Wi-Fi network? I know, it wasn't meant for laughing purposes but it still made me smile.

    Quote Originally Posted by Michael92 View Post
    Naruto: Futon: RasenShuriken!

    Naruto Clone 1: Katon: Rasenshuriken!

    Naruto Clone 2: Suiton: Rasenshuriken!

    Naruto Clone 3: Doton: Rasenshuriken!

    Naruto Clone 4: Raiton: Rasenshuriken!

    Naruto: You won't be able to survive this!
    THIS WAS FREAKIN' EPIC

    Though, it's a bit-over excessive powerup, it was damn cool. I don't like the 'You won't be able to survive this!' line though. For the sake of the moment epicness, you should have chosen a more goose-bumping line. But that's just my take.

    Quote Originally Posted by Michael92 View Post
    Naruto (In thoughts): Just buy me a little time Sasuke, that's all I need...
    I know that you never watched DBZ and that I pointed another similarity in one of your previous chapters, but this part was very similar to DBZ yet again. In the Buu Arc of DBZ, the more proud and exhausted one (Vegeta) fights to buy some time for his friend and rival while Goku is standing still to collect energy from all living forces for a final attack.

    Grabbed the link? For I, who watched DBZ a lot as a kid, this was highly nostalgic moment while reading that part. But it was bang-on and somehow, saccharine tender-sweet moment between Naruto and Sasuke.

    Quote Originally Posted by Michael92 View Post
    Yamato: Jiraiya?! Where on earth have you been? What was the first rule I ever thought you as a team? Never run off alone!
    So, Jiraiya wasn't told of the 'Those who break the rules in ninja world are scum and ect....' rule. And here, I thought, every teaching lineage before & after Naruto were taught that part first

    Quote Originally Posted by Michael92 View Post
    Jugo (In thought): Could it be that Sasuke is in a lock-down with Tobi?... I'm having a bad feeling about this all, Suigetsu, where on earth are you?
    Good question! Where on earth is he? Forgive my memory but I completely forgot on that part Care to remind me?

    Points I liked:

    1. The intensity of the battleground. I think it was the highlight of this chapter. While you again did your usual stuff [handling the multi-interactions, nice attacks and step-by step description] wonderfully...again, there was another kind of intensity and fiery in how you handled the fights and battles. I don't know what is it that differs this battle from Chapter 14/15 but there's something that felt apart and much better.

    2. Again, the parts I mentioned above as your "usual stuffs"

    3. The smoothness in all scene-changes. Unlike last time, when flashbacks started from weird places (sex scene lol), this time, it was perfect! All points seem to connect seamlessly and I could connect with both battles - Sasuke/Naruto/Tobi and how all Zetsus are gradually being dominated and retreating. I'll bet that the whole Shinobi Alliance will make a pile of dead Zetsus in front the barrier soon.

    I didn't dislike much in this chapter; though I found it weird that you didn't try to make your readers questioned themselves with mini-teasing this time. Sure, there was Konohamaru angle with 3 Great Sages but other than that, no shocker. But I guess, there was bound to be a time where there would be more answers than questions as the dots will connect.

    Overall, good read (much better than the manga currently)
     
         

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    Re: The Legendary Sage of Konoha Returns 4 [19]

    Quote Originally Posted by Escorpiius View Post
    First of all, it feels awesome to read your FF after such a long time; or can we say a long exhausting tiring time from my side. Speaking of time, sorry for the late review but that you know it As for the chapter, well, it was battle-orientated at its best. Your previous chapters of the LSoK sequel had more space for you (as writer) but in this one, I could feel that writing didn't matter much as I sensed how you were literally breathing this battle. To put it simple and correct, you are in your full mastery and element in this one. And I'm damn sure, the next ones I'm going to read, will follow the same route.

    Before, coming back on how much your chapters work...I'd mention some parts that interested me and the likes/dislikes point [as usual ]
    P.S. I know you did miss my reviews on your chapters lol :d



    I think, it's "we received..." not "relieved"



    Com-link network? :lmao: Why does this sound like a 3G+Wi-Fi network? I know, it wasn't meant for laughing purposes but it still made me smile.



    THIS WAS FREAKIN' EPIC

    Though, it's a bit-over excessive powerup, it was damn cool. I don't like the 'You won't be able to survive this!' line though. For the sake of the moment epicness, you should have chosen a more goose-bumping line. But that's just my take.



    I know that you never watched DBZ and that I pointed another similarity in one of your previous chapters, but this part was very similar to DBZ yet again. In the Buu Arc of DBZ, the more proud and exhausted one (Vegeta) fights to buy some time for his friend and rival while Goku is standing still to collect energy from all living forces for a final attack.

    Grabbed the link? For I, who watched DBZ a lot as a kid, this was highly nostalgic moment while reading that part. But it was bang-on and somehow, saccharine tender-sweet moment between Naruto and Sasuke.



    So, Jiraiya wasn't told of the 'Those who break the rules in ninja world are scum and ect....' rule. And here, I thought, every teaching lineage before & after Naruto were taught that part first



    Good question! Where on earth is he? Forgive my memory but I completely forgot on that part Care to remind me?

    Points I liked:

    1. The intensity of the battleground. I think it was the highlight of this chapter. While you again did your usual stuff [handling the multi-interactions, nice attacks and step-by step description] wonderfully...again, there was another kind of intensity and fiery in how you handled the fights and battles. I don't know what is it that differs this battle from Chapter 14/15 but there's something that felt apart and much better.

    2. Again, the parts I mentioned above as your "usual stuffs"

    3. The smoothness in all scene-changes. Unlike last time, when flashbacks started from weird places (sex scene lol), this time, it was perfect! All points seem to connect seamlessly and I could connect with both battles - Sasuke/Naruto/Tobi and how all Zetsus are gradually being dominated and retreating. I'll bet that the whole Shinobi Alliance will make a pile of dead Zetsus in front the barrier soon.

    I didn't dislike much in this chapter; though I found it weird that you didn't try to make your readers questioned themselves with mini-teasing this time. Sure, there was Konohamaru angle with 3 Great Sages but other than that, no shocker. But I guess, there was bound to be a time where there would be more answers than questions as the dots will connect.

    Overall, good read (much better than the manga currently)
    I sure did miss them indeed The good thing is that both you and Ivan caught up at the same time, which is quite awesome ^^

    Yeah O__O Nice spotted. Unfortunately (like it was on your last chapter that I spotted a mistake too), it's a bit late to edit xD But you're absolutely right my friend, should be received... silly me.

    Haha:lmao: I thought long and hard on the manga to remember what it was called, and after some searching around, that seemed to be the right word for it.

    I was actually picturing Naruto shouting that out, in a mad fashion, as he threw them all at the same time, so I thought it fitted as I wrote it though, even if it might sound a bit cheesy xD

    That's cool I guess Had no idea that my FF had some similarities to DBZ as well ^^ But now that you mention it, that sounds cool indeed.

    Well he says it's the first rule he told them as a "team..." who knows what the first rule he ever told them was

    Nobody knows We haven't seen or heard from him since Sasuke C 3.

    1: Hmm... Yeah, now that you mention it, Chapter 4 of this sequel has some similarities to chapter 14 of the original, both build up and character interactions-wise.

    3: Personally I like this sort of scene changes better too. All the jumping back and forth tends to get a bit messy and people sometimes seem to get dizzy, so yeah

    I actually have a answer to give you at that point. The reason this chapter seemed to end on a low note, without any shocker was due to the fact (as explained in the next chapter) that chapter 4 and 5 was actually one single chapter at first, but I had to split them in half due to their length, and this seemed to be the most reasonable part to do so.
     
         

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    Re: The Legendary Sage of Konoha Returns 4 [19]

    This was AWESOME!!!!

    The battles... the soundtrack... the dialogue... OMG!
     
         

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    Re: The Legendary Sage of Konoha Returns 4 [19]

    Quote Originally Posted by ~Marhuto~ View Post
    This was AWESOME!!!!

    The battles... the soundtrack... the dialogue... OMG!
    Thanks man, appreciate it ^^
     
         

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    Re: The Legendary Sage of Konoha Returns 4 [19]

    seems to me that u r a naruto fanboy.....u have given naruto way to much power up.......having naruto master all 5 chakra nature....!!man u overdid it. if i m not wrong kakashi mentioned in the manga that no one can master all 5 chakra nature
     
         

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