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  1. #1
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    Dragon Ball Z: A Saiyans Pride Chapter 1

    Dragon ball Z: A Saiyans Pride Chapter 1








    Narrator

    It has been 13 years since the defeat of Majin Buu and our mighty Z warriors enjoyed a well deserved time of peace. Things could not have been going any better, but something was amiss. Something sinister was brewing in the universe, and had been growing exponentially for some time now. In this alternate universe, the events after Goku meets Uub to train have been changed due to an unexpected foe.


    "The scene is a large spaceship floating towards the Planet Earth and a mysterious character is sitting in a chair looking upon the planet as they are about to descend into the atmosphere."




    ???: Lord. It seems we've come up on the planet Earth as expected. Weve done a thorough scan of the planet with our scouters and there are a few power levels that you may want to be caref--


    *A hand is seen extending outwards touching the soldiers chest and he is then blown away by a ki blast*

    ???: What were you saying? Oh thats right, you can't speak because there's a hole in your chest. Hahahaha. That will teach you some manners.


    *A short, but pink looking soldier wearing nothing but a purple cape and black shorts & shoes walks besides the man and kneels*


    ???: Lord, shall we commence?


    ???: Yes, and be sure to take Saikon with you Zuko.


    Zuko: With all do respect my Lord, but I cannot work with such an insolent person as Saikon. Please let me go alone.I want to kill him myself.


    *A tall muscular but grey colored man walks up behind Zuko*


    Saikon: Ah, planning on having all the fun by yourself? Those were some pretty big words coming from such a small, puny man such as you Zuko.


    ???: ENOUGH! Claim this filthy planet and kill all those who dare step in your way. I shall take care of him and any others myself.

    Saikon & Zuko: YES LORD FROST!!



    "The scene changes to an open field with Goku and Uub training vigorously levitating in mid air."


    Goku: C'mon!! Youre gonna have to do better than that!

    *Goku shakes his butt*


    Uub: >_<" Stop Playing around Goku!! Ugh HAHHHHHH


    *Uub powers up ferociously and teleports above Goku with his fists together in an attempt to smash him down to the ground but Goku blocks the attack with his arm and they're seen teleporting in and out of focus causing shockwaves to resonate in the field as their punches and kicks collide*


    Goku: Thats what Im talking about...lets take it up a notch..now show me your real power.

    *Goku turns super saiyan and puts his hands together*


    Goku: KAA-MEEEE-HAA-MEEEEEE........HAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


    Uubh no.. I cant go out like this


    *Uub crosses his arms and takes the blast. He is seen being pushed backwards along the field with the rocks crumbling around him as hes being blasted through several boulders. Then all of a sudden he powers up even more and lets out a loud scream sending the blast upwards into the sky and the Kamehameha is seen escaping the outer atmosphere of Earth into space.*


    Goku: (Thinking: Boy he sure has come a long way since I met him at the World Martial Arts Tournament.) Boy, you sure do look tired..


    *Uub is laying down on the ground with most of his shirt shredded*


    Uub: TIRED!? TIRED!? You just tried to kill me....AGAIN!


    Goku: ^_^ Here take this.. *tosses a green bean looking thing*

    Uub: Whats this?


    Goku: Its one of Korin's special beans that gives you back your energy. Take it ^_^ and thats about it for today Uub, Im hungry


    *Uub eats the bean and suddenly his vitality is restored to 100%. Goku and Uub take off flying towards Kami's lookout when suddenly Goku's expression turns from a look of happiness to a look of concern. He stops flying and starts to stare up at the sky*


    Uub: Whats wrong Goku?


    Goku: You don't feel that? Theres a large but yet sinister energy heading towards the Earth. One with a massive power levels, But how? I haven't felt this kind of power since.... >_>"


    Uub: Since what Goku...?


    Goku: Since Majin Buu. Not just any Buu, but the one Vegeta and I fought on Grand Kais planet. This isn't good.


    *Goku clenches his fist*


    Uub: What does this mean?


    Goku: We've got to warn the others as soon as possible. This doesn't feel right. Head into town. Im going to pay Korin and the others a little visit.


    *Uub flies off heading towards town and Goku uses the instant transmission technique to teleport himself to Kamis lookout. As soon as Goku appears Piccolo is already standing on the tip of the lookout with his eyes closed analyzing the happenings on Earth.*


    Piccolo: So I'm guessing you sensed it too? This isn't good Goku.


    Goku: Yeah, thats why I came here. Who could it possibly be...? ~"~ This can't be.. Not only am I sensing one power level, but two!


    Piccolo: W-What! But how can this be? Two power levels as strong as Majin Buu. This is insane!?



    "The scene changes to Uub flying over West City, known to be where Vegeta, Trunks, and many others live."


    Uub: *looking down* Is that? Ahh GOHAN!!


    *Gohan is walking out of a Capsule Corps Company building*


    Gohan: Uub!!


    *Uub lands infront of Gohan*


    Uub: Hey, Gohan did you...


    Gohan: *takes off his glasses* Yeah, I know. I felt it too. Whats my dad got planned?


    Uub: I don't know yet Gohan, but this cant be good according to Goku. We've gotta warn the others as soon as possible.


    Gohan: Yeah, that sounds like my dad. Well if I know Vegeta, he's already felt this presence too and hes already aware of this. Iv'e got to get to Videl and Pan. They aren't safe here in this city.


    Uub: Yeah, we've got to see what your dad has planned to handle this.


    Gohan: Arg.. I wish I knew what he was up to, but its been so long since we've had to actually fight someone of this caliber. Hey, you've been training with my dad for a few years now, there's gotta be something we can do right?


    Uub: I'm sorry Gohan but I wasnt around when you guys fought someone as strong as Buu, but from what I heard from Goku, is he really that strong?


    Gohan: Yeah....he destroyed the planet 13 years ago.. And to think there are more than one fighters approaching with that same type of power is mind boggling. Ugh...dammit!


    Uub: Lets get out of here...we've got to get to your family and the others.


    Gohan: Right!


    *Gohan and Uub take off flying towards his home in order to get Videl & Pan, as well as gather the others. Once they reach Gohans home they're in a rush to get to Kamis lookout.*


    Pan: Daddy, where are we going?


    Gohan:^_^ Someplace safe sweety. You'll get to see Grandpa..


    Pan: Yay!!


    Gohan: ~O_o"~ Shit!


    *Gohan senses something coming his way and he quickly turns around and deflects a large ki blast with one hand protecting the others....the ki blast goes off and destroys an island in the back surroundings.*


    Zuko: Hehe! I didn't think you'd be able to notice me. You're good.


    Gohan: (Thinking: Damn, this isn't good I didn't think I'd run into one of them so soon. How can such a small looking child hold so much power? I need to stall him for a bit while the others leave.) Uub!Take Videl and Pan and get out of here, I can handle this guy.


    Videl: GOHAN!!


    Uub: *Nods in agreement* Hmph!


    *Uub takes the others and they attempt to fly away, but as soon as they turn around Zuko appears before Uub, who is leading them and punches him in the stomach with tremendous force*


    Uub: *Coughs out blood* Get the hell out of my way you bastard. I wont let you harm them.


    Zuko: *Grins* If you think you can stop me then try hehe!



    *Uub tries to deliver several punches and kicks to Zuko, but his size and speed allows him to moves his head left and right avoiding every blow with ease. He then uppercuts Uub in the face and smashes him downwards into the land below, following up with charging up a large pink blast that he fires into him that explodes. At this time Videl takes pan by the hand and tries to escape flying off towards Kami's lookout.*


    Gohan: Videl take Pan and get out of here NOW!!


    Zuko: That takes care of him...Hmph I thought Id have more fun here. No fair!

    *Zuko sees Videl and Pan flying away and he powers up and follows them. Gohan powers up and follows him too, matching his speed he appears infront of Zuko with his arms outwards.*


    Gohan: I'm your opponent now.


    Zuko: .... >:/


    *Zuko appears above Gohan and tries to kick him with one of his legs, but Gohan turns around and blocks it with his forearm. Gohan then jabs Zuko in the face with his other arm. Gohan pauses for a moment to see if he did any damage to Zuko but Zuko turns his face around smiling as though it had no effect. He punches Gohan in the face and then does a kick to Gohans chin that sends him flying upwards into the air. While hes flying upwards Zuko puts his hands above his head (like this"X") towards Gohan and charges up another large ki blast causing Gohan to get extend his hands and try to re-direct the blast.*


    GohanThinking: How can he generate so much power!?) HAAAAHH!!!


    *Gohan sends the beam off to his side and then sees Zuko appear almost instantly there and punches him, sending him flying into a cliff. When he hits the cliff, it makes an imprint of his body and he looks almost defeated*


    Zuko: Now watch your family die! Hehehe!


    *Videl and Pan are still seen flying off to the distance while Zuko extends one hand charging up a large ballof energy that resembles the big bang attack. He then lets go of the blast sending it at Videl & Pan*


    Gohan: *Gohan can barely stay conscious but can see whats going on* NOOOOO!!!


    Videl: Oh no!! Hold on Pan!!

    *Videl quickly grabs Pan and tries to use her body as a sheild to defend from the blast astheydont have much time left*

    Pan: Mommy I'm scared!!


    *All of a sudden a light blue energy blast hits the ball of energy and it goes flying and destroys some random island*

    Zuko: O_o" Who are you..!?


    Gohan: o_O" Thought I'd never expect you to save us....heh..


    Videl: "


    Vegeta: *arms folded* My my...What do we have here? A little pink monster like you picking on women and children. Your fight is with me, you freak! HAA!


    *Vegeta turns Super Saiyan*




    This is my first fanfic so please go easy on me ^_^ I tried my best to be as detailed as possible with the fighting and keep the personalities of the characters, but I will be starting Chapter 2 Soon.
     
         

  2. #2
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    Re: Dragon Ball Z: A Saiyans Pride Chapter 1

    not bad. It was actually interesting. I dont usually read the whole thing
     
         

  3. #3
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    Re: Dragon Ball Z: A Saiyans Pride Chapter 1

    OMG @_@

     
         

  4. #4
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    Re: Dragon Ball Z: A Saiyans Pride Chapter 1

    Thank you, that means alot!!

    T__T
     
         

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    Re: Dragon Ball Z: A Saiyans Pride Chapter 1

    that was really good! +rep
     
         

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    Re: Dragon Ball Z: A Saiyans Pride Chapter 1

    Hmmmm *sits behind an office desk with a serious expression on my face* Awesome.

    First off, I am digging the character images, especially that Saiken guy, talk about spunky Also, even though it is just the first chapter, you have managed to create a story line that allows the reader to keep reading, which is usually something that is difficult to do, well personally anyway.
    I cant wait for the next chapter! wease: Will there be a character based off of me?
     
         

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    Re: Dragon Ball Z: A Saiyans Pride Chapter 1

    Quote Originally Posted by Kousajiki View Post
    Hmmmm *sits behind an office desk with a serious expression on my face* Awesome.

    First off, I am digging the character images, especially that Saiken guy, talk about spunky Also, even though it is just the first chapter, you have managed to create a story line that allows the reader to keep reading, which is usually something that is difficult to do, well personally anyway.
    I cant wait for the next chapter! wease: Will there be a character based off of me?
    I concur. Line by line i wanted to keep on reading. I is waiting on the next chapter to read
     
         

  8. #8
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    Re: Dragon Ball Z: A Saiyans Pride Chapter 1

    Quote Originally Posted by Thertrax View Post
    that was really good! +rep
    Thanks

    Quote Originally Posted by Kousajiki View Post
    Hmmmm *sits behind an office desk with a serious expression on my face* Awesome.

    First off, I am digging the character images, especially that Saiken guy, talk about spunky Also, even though it is just the first chapter, you have managed to create a story line that allows the reader to keep reading, which is usually something that is difficult to do, well personally anyway.
    I cant wait for the next chapter! wease: Will there be a character based off of me?

    Trust me. There will be many more surprises and characters as the storyline continues. Im trying my best to dos ome things DBZ fans always wanted to see happen. Iwont spoil any so just keep tuned

    Thanks bro ^_^
     
         

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    Re: Dragon Ball Z: A Saiyans Pride Chapter 1

    Quote Originally Posted by Nagato.. View Post
    Thanks




    Trust me. There will be many more surprises and characters as the storyline continues. Im trying my best to dos ome things DBZ fans always wanted to see happen. Iwont spoil any so just keep tuned

    Thanks bro ^_^
    Okay, Now I really want to know! *Prepares some torture devices* Hey Nagato >.> Want to come over soon :zonder:

    But seriously, I cant wait for the next chapter! :zonder: This fanfic will rule under my re-make!
     
         

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    Re: Dragon Ball Z: A Saiyans Pride Chapter 1

    Quote Originally Posted by Vision View Post
    I concur. Line by line i wanted to keep on reading. I is waiting on the next chapter to read
    Thanks bro

    Quote Originally Posted by Kousajiki View Post
    Okay, Now I really want to know! *Prepares some torture devices* Hey Nagato >.> Want to come over soon :zonder:

    But seriously, I cant wait for the next chapter! :zonder: This fanfic will rule under my re-make!

    Well I wont keep you guys waiting too long xD

    T_T I wont tell you my secrets!!*runs away*
     
         

  11. #11
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    Re: Dragon Ball Z: A Saiyans Pride Chapter 1

    @Sindy. Wassup with you and Neon/Rainbow colors lately?

    @Naga...Not bad. Though I expected more of Vegeta's one liner. I like that you had pics of Zuko and Saikon(who looks badass), but it would've been nice to have an example of what Gohan, Goku, Vegeta, Uub, & Piccolo looked like. There are so many different pictures of them in different clothing way past their normal clothes. I think I even saw a Vegeta with half Saiyan half leather outfit. It didnt look bad cause the spaulders were more round looking. I'll send you a few when I have them. But otherwise it was quite good. Oh, and one more thing...Lord Frost. >_< idk why I just think the name is just a no no having been used too many times before. Unoriginal.

    Wat i was talking about....though i guess its a vegeta trunks combo smh




    another vegeta concept

     
         
    Last edited by Azazel; 10-06-2012 at 10:05 AM.

  12. #12
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    Re: Dragon Ball Z: A Saiyans Pride Chapter 1

    This is beautiful !!
     
         

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    Re: Dragon Ball Z: A Saiyans Pride Chapter 1

    Quote Originally Posted by Hazama View Post
    @Sindy. Wassup with you and Neon/Rainbow colors lately?

    @Naga...Not bad. Though I expected more of Vegeta's one liner. I like that you had pics of Zuko and Saikon(who looks badass), but it would've been nice to have an example of what Gohan, Goku, Vegeta, Uub, & Piccolo looked like. There are so many different pictures of them in different clothing way past their normal clothes. I think I even saw a Vegeta with half Saiyan half leather outfit. It didnt look bad cause the spaulders were more round looking. I'll send you a few when I have them. But otherwise it was quite good. Oh, and one more thing...Lord Frost. >_< idk why I just think the name is just a no no having been used too many times before. Unoriginal.

    Wat i was talking about....though i guess its a vegeta trunks combo smh




    another vegeta concept

    Yeah I have to agree

    Quote Originally Posted by Nagato.. View Post
    Thanks bro




    Well I wont keep you guys waiting too long xD

    T_T I wont tell you my secrets!!*runs away*
    :zonder: *sees you fall into my primitive leaf and dirt covered hole trap* Mwuhahaha you can never run away from me!
     
         

  14. #14
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    Re: Dragon Ball Z: A Saiyans Pride Chapter 1

    That was freaking awesome. +rep.
     
         

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    Re: Dragon Ball Z: A Saiyans Pride Chapter 1

    B-E-A-U_TIFUL CHAPTER!!!
    All 3


    P.S. Could you please send me a VM of your next/upcoming chapter. Thank you
     
         

  16. #16
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    Re: Dragon Ball Z: A Saiyans Pride Chapter 1

    Very good I enjoyed reading this keep up the good work plus rep
     
         

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    Re: Dragon Ball Z: A Saiyans Pride Chapter 1

    Hey this is actually really good Nagato, no need to be worried can wait for future ones
     
         

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    Re: Dragon Ball Z: A Saiyans Pride Chapter 1

    This is pretty good and it's the first fanfic I ever read on this site. I like where the storylines going but

    PLEASE don't fodderize gohan T_T I can't bear to see what was supposed to be the strongest being in the universe taken down like he did in gt

    Otherwise great story
     
         

  19. #19
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    Re: Dragon Ball Z: A Saiyans Pride Chapter 1

    this is interesting. nice work.

    i haven't completely finished it yet though.
     
         

  20. #20
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    Re: Dragon Ball Z: A Saiyans Pride Chapter 1

    Quote Originally Posted by Hazama View Post
    @Sindy. Wassup with you and Neon/Rainbow colors lately?

    @Naga...Not bad. Though I expected more of Vegeta's one liner. I like that you had pics of Zuko and Saikon(who looks badass), but it would've been nice to have an example of what Gohan, Goku, Vegeta, Uub, & Piccolo looked like. There are so many different pictures of them in different clothing way past their normal clothes. I think I even saw a Vegeta with half Saiyan half leather outfit. It didnt look bad cause the spaulders were more round looking. I'll send you a few when I have them. But otherwise it was quite good. Oh, and one more thing...Lord Frost. >_< idk why I just think the name is just a no no having been used too many times before. Unoriginal.

    Wat i was talking about....though i guess its a vegeta trunks combo smh




    another vegeta concept

    To be honest dude that was the one thing holding up my posting xD I literally sat there looking over old Vegeta quotes to gain an understanding of what he would probably say. I tried my best though. Btw thanks for the criticism I will try to post pictures of them in my next chapter, or even edit this one a bit to add the pics.

    It has to be that name >_< Be prepared for more plot twists in the next chapter

    Quote Originally Posted by -Cerberus- View Post
    This is beautiful !!
    LOL Thanks

    Quote Originally Posted by Kousajiki View Post
    Yeah I have to agree



    :zonder: *sees you fall into my primitive leaf and dirt covered hole trap* Mwuhahaha you can never run away from me!
    *jumps over it*

    Quote Originally Posted by Uzumaki16 View Post
    That was freaking awesome. +rep.
    Thank you

    Quote Originally Posted by ziggyZ View Post
    B-E-A-U_TIFUL CHAPTER!!!
    All 3


    P.S. Could you please send me a VM of your next/upcoming chapter. Thank you
    Quote Originally Posted by serenaandrosie View Post
    Very good I enjoyed reading this keep up the good work plus rep
    You mean when it comes out? Or a spoiler? >_<

    Quote Originally Posted by kdm789 View Post
    Hey this is actually really good Nagato, no need to be worried can wait for future ones
    Thanks, Im just nervous xD

    Quote Originally Posted by Peppermint Larry View Post
    This is pretty good and it's the first fanfic I ever read on this site. I like where the storylines going but

    PLEASE don't fodderize gohan T_T I can't bear to see what was supposed to be the strongest being in the universe taken down like he did in gt

    Otherwise great story
    Well I wont give any special details away, but I wont
     
         

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    Re: Dragon Ball Z: A Saiyans Pride Chapter 1

    *senses ss3 gohan*
    this is gonna be awesome I can't wait to see what you do with Vegeta and Goku
     
         

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    Re: Dragon Ball Z: A Saiyans Pride Chapter 1

    First, Best opening every. Most amazing music.

    Second I tried to read the narrators voice as himself. he was awesome.

    And awesome story! was actually cool, and funny as well . Cant wait for the next bit!
     
         

  23. #23
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    Re: Dragon Ball Z: A Saiyans Pride Chapter 1

    Quote Originally Posted by Nagato.. View Post
    To be honest dude that was the one thing holding up my posting xD I literally sat there looking over old Vegeta quotes to gain an understanding of what he would probably say. I tried my best though. Btw thanks for the criticism I will try to post pictures of them in my next chapter, or even edit this one a bit to add the pics.

    It has to be that name >_< Be prepared for more plot twists in the next chapter
    Vegeta:

    *arms folded* Why... isn't it yet another over powered cotton candy freak and his sidekick gargoyle.

    *Places his left arm on his right shoulder while moving it up and down as if stretching* I've grown quite tired of the peace and quite these past few years anyway.

    *Alternating arms and shoulders, Vegeta looks at Gohan out the corner of his eyes* I can tell just by looking at you that instead of training you've had your head in books again. Your current skill and power level is barely above that of Trunks, and the boy's eight.


    ^ That is Vegeta.
     
         

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    Re: Dragon Ball Z: A Saiyans Pride Chapter 1

    Quote Originally Posted by Sindy View Post
    OMG @_@

    Pretty much this ^


    Dude, the characters so far seems pretty accurate. The story is compelling and I can't wait to see where you are going with the story :crazy:
     
         

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