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  1. #1
    God Gèckö's Avatar
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    Vengeance Chapter 5

    Chapter 1
    Chapter 2
    Chapter 3
    Chapter 4

    Read These^
    Setting: The House of The Abandoned

    Characters: Izuma, Satan, Izuma's Dad, Izuma's Mother, Hideko, Emma, Ichiyo, Mr Fujima, Mystery Man, Juro, Nurse Watson

    New Characters: Mystery Man-???


    Mystery

    A tall man walks in the door. His lower face is covered with a scarf of some sort, he has a fancy black hat on and his eyes were covered with a bandana. The man speaks.

    Mystery Man: Has step 2 been completed?
    Mr Fujima: Its a work in process, sit down take your coat off stay a while. Said with a wild smirk on his face.

    The man looks at him confused. Then he replies in with a terrifying face and a voice that shook the foundations of the house.
    Mystery Man: Do you know who i am? How dare yo speak to me in such a mannor!

    Mr Fujima puts his feet up oon his desk. He grins at the angry man, then he wags his finger.
    Mr Fujima: Ah, Ah, Ah, not so fast. If you really want to find it. You and i will need to work together.
    The door screeches. Then eyes are spotted. "Right on time, Mrs Watson. Come on in." Mrs. Watson walks into the door.

    Mrs Watson: Step 2 has been completed.
    Mystery Man: Now we wait, Its all a matter of time before we find it

    A book falls off of the shelf. Then a page in the book opens. Mr Fujima scurries to pick it up. The man ignores Mr Fujima's hasty actions. He walks out of the office. Mrs Watson sees him out of the house. She closes the door then thunder is heard. She reopens the door and the man is gone. Mr Fujima still in his office lays the book down on his desk. The book opens itself to the same page.

    "The skys cried and the ground trembled in fear" "What lies dormant is hidden in plain site'' "All can be seen with through gold"


     
         

  2. #2
    God Gèckö's Avatar
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    Re: Vengeance Chapter 5

    Not much written, but alot is explained if you think about it^
    Net few chapters you'll see some action.
     
         

  3. #3
    Battlecry Temporary Account's Avatar
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    Some live, some die.
     

    Re: Vengeance Chapter 5

    Really bad writing in all of your chapters :/
     
         

  4. #4
    God Gèckö's Avatar
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    Re: Vengeance Chapter 5

    care to explain^
     
         

  5. #5
    Battlecry Temporary Account's Avatar
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    Re: Vengeance Chapter 5

    I enjoy the aspects of Greek mythology but the story is a bit inconsistent. Continue and I would like to read the other chapters. I love the concept, but if you spend more time with structure and sentence fluency it can become better.
     
         

  6. #6
    God Gèckö's Avatar
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    Re: Vengeance Chapter 5

    read the other chapters first bro then you'll understand the plot more
     
         

  7. #7
    Battlecry Temporary Account's Avatar
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    Re: Vengeance Chapter 5

    I did....
     
         

  8. #8
    God Gèckö's Avatar
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    Re: Vengeance Chapter 5

    can't help you then
    because it makes sense to everyone else

    so thanks for the tip but i can't really fix anythig
     
         

  9. #9
    ϕ Final Getsuga Tenshou ϕ Xaviour's Avatar
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    Martial Arts FTW
     

    Re: Vengeance Chapter 5

    ... A tall man walks though a door

    I'm scared
     
         

  10. #10
    God Gèckö's Avatar
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    Re: Vengeance Chapter 5

    A Continuation from where Chapter 4 left off
    no more spam please
     
         

  11. #11
    Senior Member kekerot's Avatar
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    In order to make this world a
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    Re: Vengeance Chapter 5

    What is the message of this "manga" of yours :D.
     
         

  12. #12
    God Gèckö's Avatar
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    Re: Vengeance Chapter 5

    what^
     
         

  13. #13
    Senior Member kekerot's Avatar
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    In order to make this world a
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    Re: Vengeance Chapter 5

    Quote Originally Posted by The 4th Raikage View Post
    what^
    Every story has its message what is yours
     
         

  14. #14
    God Gèckö's Avatar
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    Re: Vengeance Chapter 5

    Look for it you'll find it
     
         

  15. #15
    The Aspiring Writer ItachiLeeHatake's Avatar
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    What a drag...
     



    Re: Vengeance Chapter 5

    You're killing me with the slow progression, dude. The story is still great though, so I'm still very much a fan.
     
         

  16. #16
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    Re: Vengeance Chapter 5

    sorry about that i wanted to put out a chapter when i hadn't fully finished the thought but i assure you the next chapter will be way longer
     
         

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