View Poll Results: Rate this chapter!

Voters
9. You may not vote on this poll
  • Terrible

    0 0%
  • Bad

    0 0%
  • Average

    0 0%
  • Good

    2 22.22%
  • Excellent

    7 77.78%
Results 1 to 10 of 10
  1. #1
    Premium User Skylar Knight's Avatar
    Status
    Skylar Knight is offline
    Join Date
    Jul 2012
    Posts
    3,760
    Location
    NarutoBase
    If I get reincarnated... I
    wanna become a clam.
     



    The Milits Chapter 27

    The Milits

    -I recommend you read the previous chapters before this one!-

    <--- Chapter 26 .................................................. .................................................. ........................ Chapter 28 --->

    Chapter 27 - "Feast"

    Mia sits on one of the half-broken tables in the saloon; thinking of what happened earlier that day while her father makes a big feast in the dirty kitchen.

    (Skylar: "These guys are indeed cowboys, but don’t get the idea that all cowboys are the same… All of us are different. Some attack innocent people for fun, and others want to change the world for the better. What I'm trying to say is that the word "cowboy" doesn't make us the same...")

    Her thoughts have been circling around those words since he said it, and she can’t get them out of her head. The only sound around her is the wind, and a screaming father in the background.

    Father: Mia… Mia..? Mia..!!

    She jumps up after finally hearing the yelling from the kitchen; being ordered to help him prepare for the big feast, something she does immediately.

    Father: What is bothering you?

    He asks this while cutting several carrots, while she is cleaning some of the plates they have forgotten to wash earlier.

    Mia: Nothing… (Skylar: What I'm trying to say is that the word "cowboy" doesn't make us the same...")

    It’s silent after her irritated response and both of them end up doing quietly on different sides of the saloon. A lot of yelling is year, and a clearly bandaged Skylar and the group walk into the quiet saloon.

    Skylar: Heeeellooo! How are-

    He is violently kicked in the wall without a second of hesitation; crashing into several tables before hitting the wall. He falls down with his face first, but quickly gets up; holding his now bloody nose.

    Skylar: What are you-!

    Mia: Don’t just walk in here and act so familiar, stupid cowboy..!

    She hits him this time on the head, making a bump on his bandages. He doesn’t resist, and closes his eyes while being hit multiple times.

    Skylar: …Soooorry…

    She hits him a last time before walking offended back towards the kitchen; meeting her father while he is on his way towards Skylar and the others. He takes Skylar hands; shaking them several times before speaking up.

    Father: Mia has told me everything yhat happened… and the others citizens have taken care of those other cowboys... Thanks you so much...! I don’t know how I can repay this debt…

    Skylar laughs out loud, scaring off the father a few feet away. He stands up from the broken planks and tables; brushing off dust from his new clothes and bandages.

    Skylar: No need to thank us… I’m going to take down The Military Force after all, and make the world a better place after that..! I can’t just watch innocent people get hurt!

    He laughs again while saying this; smiling more than usual. Both and Alice seem to be satisfied with his response, seeing as they also smile a bit.

    Father: Come, come… Sit down; I’ve prepared a feast for you guys as thanks!

    Skylar runs over to one of the not-broken tables; expecting to get food immediately, which is the reason he gets violently kicked in the wall again.

    -20 minutes later-

    Most of them are done eating, and they are all sitting; talking with each other. Skylar eats his usual beans as dessert, and finishes up quickly to continue his sentence.

    Skylar: … and then I punched a shockwave at him! You should have seen it!

    Luke: Those guys were weak, so it’s no wonder we won…

    Skylar looks at Mia who seems to be thinking about something, and wipes off the sauce around his mouth with his new green shirt before he speaks up.

    Skylar: By the way, Mia… I heard about your battle from Alice… It would be awesome if someone with your strength joined my cowboy group!

    She gives him a surprised look with several feelings, and anger one of them. The sound of a chair moving is the only one in the room, and Mia stands up; clenching her fists.

    Mia: I’ve told you I don’t want to join your stupid cowboy group..!

    Her sudden movement makes some of the glasses to tilt over, and fall to the ground; breaking them immediately. The room is silent, and everyone is now staring at Mia after her answer.

    -End of Chapter-

    Thanks if you read, voted or replied
     
         
    Last edited by Skylar Knight; 10-19-2012 at 09:15 PM.

  2. #2
    Senior Member Chakra Wizard's Avatar
    Status
    Chakra Wizard is offline
    Gender
    Join Date
    Mar 2012
    Posts
    8,091
    Location
    not a chance
    Trying to balance work and
    school while writing in my
    spare time.
     



    Re: The Milits Chapter 27

    Didn't quite seem like the right place to end it, to be honest. But, it's still good, man:D

    A few grammar issues I saw: multiply should be multiple, wish should be with, desert should be dessert, and where it says "and has his eyes calmly closed while being hit multiply times", it ought to read "closing his eyes while being hit multiple times". It looks like you're writing these a little too fast, man. You ought slow down to check your work
     
         

  3. #3
    Member akshayhp's Avatar
    Status
    akshayhp is offline
    Gender
    Join Date
    Sep 2012
    Posts
    270
    Location
    A distant place far away
    This user has no status.
     

    Re: The Milits Chapter 27

    Nice.
    a few grammer mistakes and in my opinion, a sudden ending.
    The story stays awesome as usual though
     
         

  4. #4
    Beautifully Broken 0neCrazyAngel's Avatar
    Status
    0neCrazyAngel is online now
    Gender
    Join Date
    Jul 2012
    Posts
    685
    This user has no status.
     

    Re: The Milits Chapter 27

    mia has some anger management issues and i love it!!! :lmao:
    i like her shoot first-ask questions later personality! :o
    oh! i cant wait to know if she will join the group or not coz she is doing a lot of thinking in this chapter
    despite her kicking skylar around so much! :lmao:
    cant wait! cant wait! :crazy:

    good job skye
     
         

  5. #5
    - I N A C T I V E - Thoth's Avatar
    Status
    Thoth is offline
    Gender
    Join Date
    Aug 2012
    Posts
    8,351
    Location
    Pluto
    I'm in the state of anabiosis.
     



    Re: The Milits Chapter 27

    I'm loving it. Very nice. I thought it would get worse when you make a lot of chapters, but it didn't.^^
     
         

  6. #6
    Tsūki's Avatar
    Status
    Tsūki is offline
    Gender
    Join Date
    Apr 2012
    Posts
    36,450
    #JanaIsAwesome
    #AlbelTheEmokage
     



    Re: The Milits Chapter 27

    Mia, Y U NO JOIN?!
    :D Great chapter
     
         

  7. #7
    Senior Member uzumaki antonia's Avatar
    Status
    uzumaki antonia is offline
    Gender
    Join Date
    Nov 2010
    Posts
    2,488
    too weird to live too rare to
    die
     

    Re: The Milits Chapter 27

    Awesome chapter Skylar
     
         

  8. #8
    Zidane Tribal Uxellius's Avatar
    Status
    Uxellius is offline
    Gender
    Join Date
    Jul 2012
    Posts
    3,466
    Location
    In my hideout planning to kidnap a princess
    This user has no status.
     

    Re: The Milits Chapter 27

    Mia seems scary, and tiliting the glass by her movement is very suspecious there Skylar, anyway it was a good chapter just don't rush into your writing
     
         

  9. #9
    Member akshayhp's Avatar
    Status
    akshayhp is offline
    Gender
    Join Date
    Sep 2012
    Posts
    270
    Location
    A distant place far away
    This user has no status.
     

    Re: The Milits Chapter 27

    It was nice to see that the sand cowboys did not join his band.
    I was pretty sure they were.
     
         

  10. #10
    Senior Member basegirl's Avatar
    Status
    basegirl is offline
    Gender
    Join Date
    Jan 2012
    Posts
    1,129
    Location
    Serbia,Belgrade
    "we are just ordinary
    people driven to revenge in
    the name of justice, but if
    revenge is called justice,
    then that justice breeds yet
    more revenge and becomes a
    chain of hatred"
     

    Re: The Milits Chapter 27

    there's nothing better after a fight than a good meal! :D
    i sure hope mia will change her mind :o
     
         

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •