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  1. #1
    Only Awesome Describes Me NarutAwesome's Avatar
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    How's my song (lyric)?

    Sup guys, this is one of my new lyrics. How is it? What should I work on? It's about a girl who a guy like (I'm that guy) but that girl doesn't like him back and he wants to convince her by writing a love letter. Enjoy.

    Song Title: Love Letter
    Charles Pickett

    This girl stay fly everyday
    and you’re not gonna land
    This girl bringing me under
    your love is like quicksand
    And you take my breathe away
    I hope you know CPR
    And if I had to make a wish
    it’ll be on you since you’re a star
    And yeah, your love is my drug
    I can’t change that prescription
    I read the symbols on the wall
    And Us was the inscription
    And I translated the text
    Into your body language
    Put it inside an envelope
    And I hope you get the message
    And if diamonds last forever
    then I know you will too
    cause your love is like a mystery
    I wish I was your clue
    And no matter what I do
    You always make it look better
    So I hope you take the time
    to read this love letter

    Cause Girl!!!

    You are the reason why I wanna love
    and whenever I see you I just -can’t get - enough
    and if you grab my hand
    I can set your heart free
    and we can create a world
    just for you and me!!

    Girl, you are the reason why I wanna love
    and compared to you there’s no- other girl -above
    But no matter what I do
    I just can’t stop thinking about you
    but I just wish that
    you would just love me too
    (pause)
    that you’ll just love me too...

    Man, you’re way too fine too talk
    You gotta write your words down
    And you’re way to fly to walk
    So you shouldn’t touch the ground
    And even your mistakes
    comes out as flawless as ever
    They say that love finds a way
    So I guess we’ll be together
    And I know you’re reading this
    saying I don’t have a chance
    But girl just look at my heart
    wait - take a second glance
    Every beat my heart make
    means I’m living for you
    Every pulse my heart take
    means I’m telling the truth
    Girl, I’m like super-man
    but my S is in your heart
    I guess that’s why you’re super
    cause you are a work of art
    And no matter what I do
    you always make it look better
    So I hope you take the time
    to read this love letter


    Cause Girl!!!

    You’re the reason why I wanna love
    and whenever I see you I just -can’t get - enough
    and if you grab my hand
    I can set your heart free
    and we can create a world
    just for you and me!!

    Girl, you’re the reason why I wanna love
    and compared to you there’s no- other girl -above
    But no matter what I do
    I just can’t stop thinking about you
    but I just wish that
    you would just love me too
    (pause)
    that you’ll just love me too...


    I could repeat what I said
    But damn, you speak for yourself
    Gold and silver aint nothing
    you’re the definition of wealth
    you’re the silhouette of sexy
    you’re the shadow of beautiful
    other girls can do the math
    but to you they can’t equal
    So they can put the ruler down
    they can’t measure your beauty
    and I’ll always be there for you
    Like it’s a call - of - duty
    Girl, I’m callin’ you a goddess
    cause I see that you’re divine
    And my only wish to God
    is that that 1 day you’ll be mine
    But until that day come
    I guess I’ll have to wait
    but to be honest girl
    I just hope I’m not too late
    cause no matter what I do
    you always make it look better
    And I just hope you had the time
    to read this love letter

    Cause you...
    and me...
    are destined by fate- eternally
    and I know...
    that if you....
    come with me- I can set your heart free!!!


    Cause Girl!!!

    You’re the reason why I wanna love
    and whenever I see you I just -can’t get - enough
    and if you grab my hand
    I can set your heart free
    and we can create a world
    just for you and me!!

    And girl, you’re the reason why I wanna love
    and compared to you there’s no- other girl -above
    But no matter what I do
    I just can’t stop thinking about you
    but I just wish that girl
    you
    would just love
    me too
    (pause)
    that you’ll just love me too...
     
         

  2. #2
    The Ruler of Swagakure Shodaime Swagkage's Avatar
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    Re: How's my song (lyric)?

    If you made a video, it would have been easier. I just read the 1st versus and I think it's good.
     
         

  3. #3
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    Re: How's my song (lyric)?

    This is what they call cheap songwriting at my school
     
         

  4. #4
    Member lukasenko's Avatar
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    Re: How's my song (lyric)?

    its definitely better than the Rihanna sh*t that people go crazy about.
    Good job mate, i like it
     
         

  5. #5
    Senior Member Dreckerplayer's Avatar
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    Re: How's my song (lyric)?

    This is good man

    i kinda loled when i read "cause girrl!!"...but the whole thing looks good.
     
         

  6. #6
    Only Awesome Describes Me NarutAwesome's Avatar
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    Re: How's my song (lyric)?

    thanks guys
     
         

  7. #7
    Nyctophiliac Sinfonia's Avatar
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    And I hold within my hand
    Grains of the golden sand- How
    few! yet how they creep
    through my fingers to the
    deep, While I weep- while I
    weep! O God! can I not grasp
    them with a tighter clasp?
     

    Re: How's my song (lyric)?

    Not great but not that bad either ^_^ it's generally good
     
         

  8. #8
    ^^aka #'s or Digits 10023213's Avatar
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    Re: How's my song (lyric)?

    i hope most people ''got'' those lyrics cause that song went ham.

    you should post an instrumental to it..
     
         

  9. #9
    Only Awesome Describes Me NarutAwesome's Avatar
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    Re: How's my song (lyric)?

    It’s meant to be funny actually, it’s suppose to be corny. I mean, name a love song that’s not corny. Name a rap about love that don’t talk about ass and a woman features. It’s harder to write about than you guys think. So it may seem average, but that depends on what you listen to as music. It meant to sound like real rap like Will Smith or Ice Cube.
     
         

  10. #10
    Sekirei 107 Bright Shadow's Avatar
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    consumed by hate... Learned
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    Re: How's my song (lyric)?

    For a song, its pretty cool, but its harder to read words off a paper, i'd reccomendt in ur own voice.
     
         

  11. #11
    Member whytaco's Avatar
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    Re: How's my song (lyric)?

    Nice song and lyric but kind of sounds like something Taylor swift.
     
         

  12. #12
    ✖Opheliac✖ Effie's Avatar
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    Re: How's my song (lyric)?

    Quote Originally Posted by whytaco View Post
    Nice song and lyric but kind of sounds like something Taylor swift.
    I was thinking more... One Direction!!
     
         

  13. #13
    Member whytaco's Avatar
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    Re: How's my song (lyric)?

    Quote Originally Posted by Effie View Post
    I was thinking more... One Direction!!
    Who is one direction?
     
         

  14. #14
    Only Awesome Describes Me NarutAwesome's Avatar
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    Re: How's my song (lyric)?

    Quote Originally Posted by whytaco View Post
    Who is one direction?
    a band with 5 gay singers
     
         

  15. #15
    Writer Xanthacl's Avatar
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    Re: How's my song (lyric)?

    I read it all, yeah it was a bit much, but the point is I liked it . Yes there were definitely cony lines and parts that just made me want to smack my had over my face. But what I loved were the deeper lines that expressed something truer and all encompassing rather than mere infatuation
     
         

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