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  1. #5526
    Senior Member ~The Norwegian~'s Avatar
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    Re: ♦ Custom Jutsu Submission ♦

    Quote Originally Posted by Hayate Gekko View Post
    (Katon:Ame no Kaki) Fire release:Rain of fire
    Type:Atack
    Rank:B
    Range:Short
    Chakra cost:25
    Damage:40
    Description:The user spews an large fireball into the air where it explodes into dozens of small fireballs that travel high speed to the ground beneath>


    __________________________


    (Katon:Hitoshirenu Hisaki):Fire release:Hidden Flames
    Type:Supplementary
    Rank:C
    Range:Short
    Chakra cost:20
    Damage:N/A
    Description:The user spits out tiny bearly visible sparks to the ground where they continue to burn and engulf in flames anything that steps on them.

    ___________________________


    (Katon:Baku Nagare):Fire release:Exploding Stream
    Type:Atack
    Rank:B
    Range:Short/Mid.
    Chakra cost:25
    Damage:40
    Description:The user makes a thin line of fire from his hand wich he conects to the ground,and as long as he keeps hand contact with the line of fire he can launch small fireballs from it at the point of the users will.


    __________________________

    (Katon:Kaen Hinotama):Fire release:Blazing Fireball
    Type:Atack
    Rank:C
    Range:Mid.
    Chakra cost:20
    Damage:30
    Description:The user launches a fireball from his mouth behind his oponent and the fireball when it hits the ground devides into three smaller fireballs wich travel in the oposite direction.


    __________________________


    (Katon:Kaki Numa):Fire release:Fire Lake
    Type:Supplementary
    Rank:C
    Range:Short/Mid.
    Chakra cost:20
    Damage:N/A
    Description:The user launches a fire stream onto the ground wich spreads all around the battlefield making anybody within the range of the jutsu unable to stand on the ground.
    Note:The efect lasts for two turns.

    And if this jutsus get approved I'm the only one who can use them right?
    You can only submitt 3 customs every week, and I've already made that first jutsu for my self. Please delete it.

    ±± Please refrain from posting in the CJ thread. Either vm the member in question or report the post if it breaks the general rules. Consider this a one time only warning valid to everyone else. ±±
     
         
    Last edited by Scorps; 02-06-2012 at 11:06 PM.

  2. #5527
    Senior Member aradmehr's Avatar
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    Re: ♦ Custom Jutsu Submission ♦

    Quote Originally Posted by aradmehr View Post
    (Fuuton: Tatsumaki)-Wind release: Tornado shield(No Japanese name for shield)
    Type: Defensive but can damage the opponent if He/She gets caught in it
    Rank: A
    Range: N/A
    Chakra cost: 30
    Damage points: 60(If the opponent gets caught in it)
    Description: The user performs two handseals and wind starts to spin around the opponent at a very fast speed like a not moving tornado however this protects the user from above as well due to the very fast speed of the wind and can even protect the user from a small to medium explosion.
    ~This jutsu can only protect the user against weapons,taijutsu and up to D rank jutsus and not any other jutsus.
    ~The user cannot perform another wind style jutsu for two turns.
    ~Can only be used by the people aradmehr allows to use.
    ~Can also defend against jutsus that throw things like sand needles,sand shuriken,wind demon wind shuriken etc. that are from D-rank to A-rank.

    ~Declined~ This technique doesn't make any sense. You create the wind around your opponent, yet you're protected from above? Re-read yourself, the description is a mess.
    Resubmitting:

    (Fuuton: Tatsumaki)-Wind release: Tornado shield(No Japanese name for shield)
    Type: Defensive but can damage the opponent if He/She gets caught in it
    Rank: A
    Range: N/A
    Chakra cost: 30
    Damage points: 60(If the opponent gets caught in it)
    Description: After performing two handseals,wind starts to spin around the user of the jutsu at a very fast speed.After 4 seconds the wind turns into a tornado because of it's high speed and spinning however this tornado will not move and will stay in one place being able to protect the user against the opponent's attacks such as taijutsu,thrown weapons of any kind(Including sand or wind shuriken and etc.)if they are A-rank or below and weak element jutsus(D or C rank).
    ~The user cannot move while this jutsu is active.
    ~If the enemy is close to the user(Short range),will be pulled into the tornado thus causing 60 damage.
    ~Cannot perform another wind style jutsu for two turns.

    ±± Declined ±± This tornado would leave you completely unable to defend against most Fire techniques so its in essence quite useless as some cannon wind techniques can be used for the same effect with greater effectiveness. Also, it lacks range... So, fill the template and really think if you want this technique or not.
     
         
    Last edited by Scorps; 02-06-2012 at 11:09 PM.

  3. #5528
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    Im Gaara, the **** you finna
    do bout it?
     

    Re: ♦ Custom Jutsu Submission ♦

    ( jikashu: ryouiki )magnet release: field
    Rank: B
    Type: Supplementary
    Range: short - long
    Chakra Cost: 20( -10 per turn )
    Damage Points: N/a
    Description:the user preforms one hand seal and spreads their chakra into earths magnetic field lines. This jutsu allows the user to bend and control magnetic field lines that they have already put spread their chakra into , to bend it into different shapes or forms by controlling the fields electrically charged particles.
    Note: last three turns
    Note: can only be used twice

    ±± Declined ±± to what purpose would you bend these magnetic fields? Also, this is hardly a B-Rank...

    ( Jiton Ninpou: Hiko )Magnet ninja art: Flight
    Type: Supplementary
    Rank: B
    Range: Short-Long
    Chakra Cost: 20 ( -5 per turn )
    Damage Cost: none
    Description: The User freely manipulates the earth's magnetic lines and glide along them, simulating flight.
    Note: can only be used if magnet release field is active

    ±± Declined ±± the technique above wasn't approved


    ( futon :Kyōryokuna eādōmu ) Wind Element : Strong Air Dome

    Type: Defense
    Rank: B
    Range: Short
    Chakra Cost: 20
    Damage Cost: 40
    Description:After forming the needed hand seals, the user will focus his/her chakra into the air around them. It will spread five feet around the user and form a strong barrier of air, protecting them from most projectiles and most medium strength Jutsu. Katon can break through with several weak Jutsu and Raiton would take strong Jutsu to pierce. Anyone with of tsunade will just rip open the dome with their bare hands.. The user isn't limited to stay within the dome but if they leave it, the dome dispels.

    ±± Declined ±± bolded part doesn't make sense. Read yourself. Also, similar technique already exists.
     
         
    Last edited by Scorps; 02-06-2012 at 11:12 PM.

  4. #5529
    Kira..'s Avatar
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    Three years... Wow...
     

    Re: ♦ Custom Jutsu Submission ♦

    If necessary, feel free to change anything in any of these techniques:

    (Suraisusutoringusu) Slicing Strings
    Rank: S-Rank
    Type: Attack/Supplementary
    Range: Short-Mid Range
    Chakra Cost: 40
    Damage Points: 80
    Details: The user creates long, thin strings of sharp, dense wire that is not visible to the naked eye.
    ~The strings can be sliced by a technique of equal rank or more.

    ±± Declined ±± to what purpose? restrictions? are these chakra strings that can cut?

    Quote Originally Posted by Forte.EXE
    (Raiton: Jigoku no Tenshi)Lighting Release: Angels of Hell
    Rank: B-Rank
    Type: Attack/Supplementary (Both at the same time)
    Range: Mid- to Long-Range
    Chakra Cost: 25
    Damage Points: 40
    Details: After performing the necessary hand seals (See Below), the user fills their hand with Lightning chakra. The user's hand then releases five (5) humming bird-shaped lightning birds which "fly" towards the opponent. (Please note that at this time they are still attached to the user's hand by strings lightning chakra.) The five (5) birds then puncture the target through their left and right wrists, their left and right ankles, and their abdomen. At this point, they use their "tails" (strings of lightening chakra), wrap around the target, allowing the user to pull the target closer for a short-ranged or even point blank attack. The strings can only be separated from the user by a stronger Justu or an equal (or higher) in rank Wind Release Jutsu.
    ~Hand Seals: Bird, Dragon, Tiger, Boar, Ram, Dog, Ram, Boar, Tiger, Dragon, Bird
    ~Can only be used once per battle.

    ~Declined, a lightning technique of same rank or above can also affect the bonding of this technique by overpowering it ~
    (Raiton: Jigoku no Tenshi) - Lighting Release: Angels of Hell
    Rank: S-Rank
    Type: Attack/Supplementary
    Range: Mid- to Long-Range
    Chakra Cost: 40
    Damage Points: 80
    Details: After performing the necessary hand seals, the user fills their hand with Lightning chakra. The user's hand then releases five humming bird-shaped lightning birds which "fly" towards the opponent. (Please note that at this time they are still attached to the user's hand by strings lightning chakra.) The five (5) birds then puncture the target through their left and right wrists, their left and right ankles, and their abdomen. At this point, they use their "tails" (strings of lightening chakra), wrap around the target, allowing the user to pull the target closer for a short-ranged or even point blank attack. The strings can be separated from the user by a jutsu of equal strength.
    ~Hand Seals: Bird, Dragon, Tiger, Boar, Ram, Dog, Ram, Boar, Tiger, Dragon, Bird. These hand seals do not need to be performed if the user specializes in Lightning Release or is a signer of the Hummingbird Contract.
    ~Can only be used once per battle successfully. This means that if the jutsu is not completed or misses, it can be used again.
    ~This jutsu can only be used a maximum of three times per battle in total.

    ±± Declined ±± I think you misunderstand lightning. You can create treads with the said properties out of normal chakra (and by said properties i mean to pull something) however, that is not the case with lightning treads. Its electrical energy. It has neither the mass not the body to act as a rope. It can bind a person yes, but it can pull or execute strength on a body in the way you want it to do.

    Quote Originally Posted by Forte.EXE View Post
    Red Secret Technique: Human Puppet Act (Reddoshīkurettotekunikku: Ningen no ningyō-hō)
    Type: Puppetry
    Rank: S
    Range: Short-Mid Ranged
    Chakra Cost: 40
    Damage Points: N/A
    Description: Sasori forcibly entangles the target in his chakra strings to the point that movement of their own accord is restricted, then forces the target to complete actions they otherwise wouldn't.
    ~Unlike Genjutsu, the user if fully aware of their surroundings. Because of this, they cannot be forced to perform a jutsu that requires chakra, but can be forced to use Taijutsu or Weaponry. If said Taijutsu is beyond the users and/or the target's knowledge (they have not been trained in it) it cannot be completed. The same applies to weaponry.
    ~This jutsu requires the full attention of the user. If the user is distracted or preoccupied, the target can escape. In other words, the user cannot have any puppets summoned, the user cannot perform a jutsu, etc.
    ~Like normal chakra strings, they are not visible to the naked eye.
    ~The target can perform jutsu that do not require their hands or legs.
    ~The target cannot be forced to kill themselves unless the so desire it or are of lower rank than the user.
    ~Can be used on a maximum of two targets.

    ~Can only be used twice per battle.
    ~If successfully used on the first attempt, cannot be used again.
    ~Requires a puppeteer biography.

    ~Declined~ Still too OP. What I asked was to make it less potent, and you restricted it so you could successfully use it against ninjas of lower rank than you, making it a 1 move pwn nonetheless. It's not just the restrictions, but the description. Like I said, make it so you're not taking control of your opponent, instead merely affect some of his movements (and even then you can't make it an absolutely inescapable move).
    Red Secret Technique: Human Puppet Act (Reddoshīkurettotekunikku: Ningen no ningyō-hō)
    Type: Puppetry
    Rank: S
    Range: Short-Mid Ranged
    Chakra Cost: 40
    Damage Points: N/A
    Description: A puppeteer of superior skill entangles the target in strings of chakra, merely affecting some of the targets movements as if they were a puppet.
    ~Unlike Genjutsu, the user if fully aware of their surroundings. Because of this, they cannot be forced to perform a jutsu that requires chakra, but can be forced to use Taijutsu or Weaponry.
    ~Like normal chakra strings, they are not visible to the naked eye.
    ~The target can perform jutsu that do not require their hands or legs.
    ~Can be used on a maximum of two targets.
    ~Can only be used twice per battle.
    ~If successfully used on the first attempt, this jutsu cannot be used again.
    ~The entangled targets count as one puppet towards the maximum number of puppet summons the user can have active, however does not count towards the number of summons that can be made per turn.
    ~Requires a puppeteer biography.

    ±± Declined ±± You are submitting a technique in which you control your opponents movement through invisible chakra threads that can control up to 2 enemies at the same time and can even block the enemy from using techniques that require their hands and legs (btw, why? do you suppress his chakra or something? because if he doesn't need to perform hand seals he can still perform techniques that require hands and feet)? You can restrict this as much as you want but its still unacceptable. The way it stands, unless the user is a sensor or has a dojutsu he can't defend from this technique and that makes it unacceptable for the most part.
     
         
    Last edited by Scorps; 02-06-2012 at 11:23 PM.

  5. #5530
    Ryūjin's Avatar
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    Engaged. Saraisthebest!!
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    Re: ♦ Custom Jutsu Submission ♦

    Quote Originally Posted by ~Crow~ View Post
    [Katon: Teien Hana Jōkai] - Fire Release: The Infernal Rose Of Heaven
    Type: Supplementary/Attack
    Rank: S
    Range: Short - Long
    Chakra Cost: 40
    Damage Points: 80
    Description: After performing a small set of two handseals {Monkey → Tiger} The user gathers a large amount of fire chakra into his lungs as he stomps on the ground making an underground tunnel similar to the exploding flame crater technique, then the user shoots a fire stream that goes onto the underground tunnel spreading through it, the fire passes by the tunnel, until it reaches underneath the opponent's directions while it's hidden underground as the opponent only sees the user spewing the fire into the ground but he doesn't see it anymore, the fire erupts in a violent stream of fire that's 6ft tall and 5 ft wide in the shape of a large rose made out of fire that has fire streaming through it but has maintained the shape of a rose due to the user's shape manipulation skills, this technique is very proficient against wind release techniques, as if the opponent used a B-rank wind technique and below into it, the rose of fire grows even larger and more powerful eating the wind that's released out of the wind technique as fuel.
    Note: Can only be used twice per battle.
    Note: No S-rank fire technique the next turn.
    Note: Can only be taught by ~Crow~

    Declined, the wind B rank would make no odds to powering this technique up as it would just devour it being 2 ranks above
    [Katon: Teien Hana Jōkai] - Fire Release: The Infernal Rose Of Heaven
    Type: Supplementary/Attack
    Rank: S
    Range: Short - Long
    Chakra Cost: 40
    Damage Points: 80
    Description: After performing a small set of two handseals {Monkey → Tiger} The user gathers a large amount of fire chakra into his lungs as he stomps on the ground making an underground tunnel similar to the exploding flame crater technique, then the user shoots a fire stream that goes onto the underground tunnel spreading through it, the fire passes by the tunnel, until it reaches underneath the opponent's directions while it's hidden underground as the opponent only sees the user spewing the fire into the ground but he doesn't see it anymore, the fire erupts in a violent stream of fire that's 6ft tall and 5 ft wide in the shape of a large rose made out of fire that has fire streaming through it but has maintained the shape of a rose due to the user's shape manipulation skills, this technique is very proficient against wind release techniques, as if the opponent used a B-rank wind technique and below into it, the rose of fire devours the wind technique.
    Note: Can only be used twice per battle.
    Note: No S-rank fire technique the next turn.
    Note: Can only be taught by ~Crow~

    ±± Declined, do not resubmit ±± This is basically a copy of the Exploding Flame Crater with the shape of a rose and becoming S-Rank.

    Updating This:

    Quote Originally Posted by ~Crow~ View Post
    (Arumiton: Arumi Modo) - Aluminum Release: Aluminum Mode
    Type: Supplementary
    Rank: Forbidden
    Range: Self
    Chakra Cost: 50 [-20 per turn to maintain active]
    Damage Points: N/A [+10 to Aluminum techniques]
    Description: The user gathers a huge amount of chakra into the center of his body and flowing his aluminum chakra into every cell of his body to activate this technique upon releasing all of his aluminum chakra at once, for this technique a set of changes into the users body occures, the user's skin turns into aluminum metal of dull gray color allowing the user to gain extra damage while using the aluminum techniques or elemental techniques that create the aluminum i.e. Earth and Fire elements, but unlike the iron skin technique the user isn't immune to attacks as it's sacrificed for faster usage of aluminum techniques as well as fire and earth elements, the user continuously releases his aluminum chakra through his body to maintain his form at hand, but at the same time the user has an advantage of being immune to genjutsu techniques techniques that of B-rank and lower due to the continous release of the aluminum chakra through his whole body and allows the user to know whenever he's under a genjutsu as if the user is attacked with a genjutsu the aluminum skin-like quality that the user gains with the usage of this technique slowly deteriorates with due to the suppression of the opponent's chakra into the user's body thus slowly stopping the continuous chakra flow that's used to maintain this technique however it's not enough to completely break this technique, but the continuous release of the aluminum chakra has a major disadvantage that is the user can only use aluminum techniques because if the user changes his aluminum affinity he loses the control over this technique, as well as earth and fire techniques that are used to form the aluminum metal.
    ~Can only be used once per battle.
    ~This mode lasts for 4 turns.
    ~After this technique deactivates the simplest movements puts a huge strain on the user's body for 3 turns however he's able to perform handseals just as normal.
    ~After the mode is deactivated the user becomes extremely exhausted and his speed decreases drastically after the technique deactivates and his body becomes much weaker due to the enormous chakra drain. (If the user is a Sage after the deactivation he has the speed of a sannin)
    ~The user can't perform more than 2 techniques per turn, for two turns after this mode deactivates due to the enormous chakra drain.
    ~Only Aluminum release is to be used within this form however this doesn't include non elemental ninjutsu and taijutsu.
    ~No genjutsu can be utilized while in this form.
    ~No Aluminum techniques at all for 3 turns and no S-rank or above Earth/Fire techniques for 3 turns after this mode is deactivated.

    ~Approved~ Made is so you can only use Aluminum and I took out the part making a reference to the speed chart. Let's get this straight, even I don't have a mode that boost 3 elements at once, it's too OP. This is as much as you'll get so if you don't like it, VM me and I'll re-decline it.


    To This:

    (Arumiton: Arumi Mōdo) - Aluminum Release: Aluminum Mode
    Type: Supplementary
    Rank: Forbidden
    Range: Self
    Chakra Cost: 50 [-20 per turn to maintain active]
    Damage Points: N/A [+10 to Aluminum techniques]
    Description: The user gathers a huge amount of chakra into the center of his body and flowing his aluminum chakra into every cell of his body to activate this technique upon releasing all of his aluminum chakra at once, for this technique a set of changes into the users body occures, the user's skin turns into aluminum metal of dull gray color allowing the user to gain extra damage while using the aluminum techniques or elemental techniques that create the aluminum i.e. Earth and Fire elements, but unlike the iron skin technique the user isn't immune to attacks as it's sacrificed for faster usage of aluminum techniques as well as fire and earth elements, the user continuously releases his aluminum chakra through his whole body to maintain his form at hand, but at the same time the user has an advantage of being immune to genjutsu techniques techniques that of B-rank and lower due to the continuous release of the aluminum chakra through his whole body and allows the user to know whenever he's under a genjutsu as if the user is attacked with a genjutsu the aluminum skin-like quality that the user gains with the usage of this technique slowly deteriorates with due to the suppression of the opponent's chakra into the user's body thus slowly stopping the continuous chakra flow that's used to maintain this technique however it's not enough to completely break this technique, but the continuous release of the aluminum chakra has a major disadvantage that is the user can only use aluminum techniques because if the user changes his aluminum affinity he loses the control over this technique, as well as earth and fire techniques that are used to form the aluminum metal.
    - Can only be used once per battle.
    - This Mode lasts for 4 turns.
    -After this technique deactivates the simplest movements puts a huge strain on the user's body for 3 turns however he's able to perform handseals just as normal.
    - After the mode is deactivated the user becomes extremely exhausted and his speed decreases drastically after the technique deactivates and his body becomes much weaker due to the enormous chakra drain. (If the user is a Sage after the deactivation he has the speed of a sannin)
    -The user can't perform more than 2 techniques per turn, for two turns after this mode deactivates due to the enormous chakra drain.
    - Only Aluminum, Fire and Earth techniques is to be used within this form however this doesn't include non elemental ninjutsu and taijutsu.
    - No genjutsu can be utilized while in this form.
    - No Aluminum techniques at all for 3 turns and no S-rank or above Earth/Fire techniques for 3 turns after this mode is deactivated.

    ~ I don't wish for a boost to earth and fire techniques within this mode, but simply to be able to use them, as the aluminum can only have 12 techniques, it's very limited and with such high restrictions, if it's not approval then just ignore this. ~

    ±± Declined ±± Izuna himself said that this was as much as you could get. Either keep the current version or drop it for another technique.

    [Akai Chakra Ryōkin] - Red Chakra Charge
    Type: Attack/Defence
    Rank: S
    Range: Short - Long
    Chakra Cost: 40
    Damage Points: 80
    Description: This is a Kenjutsu technique developed through the usage of chakra by a ninja who was living alongside the Samurais, similar to the slicing crimson wave technique but much more powerful, the user concentrates a large deal of chakra into his Katana enveloping it in chakra as he charges more and more chakra in the blade while moving his blade to his back and maintaining a semi crouching position with the katana behind his back while the user holding his blade reversed meaning in normal circumstances the blade is directed to the right side of the user's direction and the hilt is facing the left side, after the user is done charging the chakra into the blade he thrusts the blade forward dealing 3 slashes in front of him to the right and left sides while the user is still holding the blade in the same way, releasing 3 red chakra shockwaves towards the opponent's direction cutting through the ground as it reaches for his direction, this can be used to attack multiple enemies at once or just a single opponent delivering a single red chakra shockwave with it's full power towards the opponent, the chakra shockwaves can also be released into the air, basically whichever the user makes the slashes with the Katana.
    - Can only be used twice per battle.
    - Can also be used by a Samurai biography not just a ninja.
    - This technique is capable of countering S-ranked and below Ninjutsu techniques due to the chakra charge.
    - No S-rank Kenjutsu techniques the following turn.
    - Can only be taught by ~Crow~

    ±± Pending ±± Leaving for Izanami
     
         
    Last edited by Scorps; 02-06-2012 at 11:32 PM.

  6. #5531
    Senior Member Bolt's Avatar
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    Re: ♦ Custom Jutsu Submission ♦

    (Fuuton: Su-pa Janpu) - Wind style: Super Jump
    Rank: C
    Range: Short-Long
    Type: Supplementary
    Chakra Cost: 20
    Damage Points: N/A
    Description: While bending the legs at an angle, user concentrates a huge amount of wind chakra in his legs, and then releases it, resulting in a super jump upto 20m height in an instant in any direction the user wants.
    This technique can also be used to jump from short to mid or from mid to long range and vice versa.
    Note: Can only be taught by Bolt.
    Note: Can only be used 4 times per match.
    New version.

    (Fuuton: Bolt Janpu) - Wind style: Bolt Jump
    Rank: D
    Range: Short-Mid
    Type: Supplementary
    Chakra Cost: 10
    Damage Points: N/A
    Description: While bending the legs at an angle, user concentrates wind chakra in his legs, and then releases it, resulting in a jump upto 15m height in an instant in any direction the user wants.
    This technique can also be used to jump from short to mid or from mid to long range and vice versa.
    Note: -Must know "Super jump" to use this tech.
    -Can be used while in mid air.
    -Can only be taught by Bolt.
    -Since its a D-Rank tech, it can be used any no. of times.

    ±± Pending ±± Resubmit providing link to the approval of the super jump technique

    Edit: ±±Declined±± Look at the bolded part. Impossible. Unless you can use that wind against something solid it won't enable you to change directions in the air. And to do so there already exists a cannon technique. and this is a weak attempt of making the same technique with no limitations when izuna himself put you the 4 times limit.


    Quote Originally Posted by Bolt View Post
    Resubmiiting it 4th time.

    (Raiton: Dendou Ame) - Lightning Release: Electric Rain
    Rank: A
    Range: Short-Long
    Type: Offense
    Chakra Cost: 30
    Damage Points: 60 (+1 for each drop)
    Description: After using the technique "Rain at Will Tiger", the user concentrates on his raiton chakra and adds raiton chakra in rain. Once its done, it starts raining with lightning infused with water, instead of simple sensory water, which gives small bolts to opponent when hit.
    Note:-User is immune to this tech because it is his lightning chakra only which is present in rain.
    -When lightning is added to the rain, it becomes lightning-water combo.
    -Can only be used 2 times per battle.
    -Can only be taught by Bolt.


    ~Declined~ The damage doesn't make any sense. If each droplets give 1 damage then how did you manage to inflict 60 damage in the first place? I'm sorry but every time I read this technique there's something wrong with it.


    (Hisan Ikkakujuu) - Flying Unicorn
    Type: Defense/Supplementary
    Rank: A
    Range: Short (when created)
    Chakra Cost: 30 (+10 for every turn)
    Damage Points: N/A (+40 if get in contact with it)
    Description: The user creates a flying unicorn from any of his elemental chakra. User can sit on the unicorn as rider. And after he gets in contact/sits on that elemental unicorn, he automatically gets covered in that particular element's chakra, which acts as coating on the user's body and protects him from that element's jutsus upto B-rank and from the element it is strong against but is weak to its weak element.
    While running on ground he is very fast just like horse and while flying in sky he is just fast as bird. But when running in sky while flying, his speed gets increased.
    Note: ~Coating lasts for 4 turns and after that one out of three move will be occupied after each 4 turns to remain the coating active, and must be in contact with that unicorn to activate the coating.
    ~Can only be used 3 times per battle.
    ~Can only be taught by Bolt.

    ~Declined~ Seriously now...No coating, similar technique already exist just for that. Also, how would you breath if you were coated from head to toe in water? Lasting 4 turns 3 times a match? So you'd have a flying elemental animal for 12 turns in a row? Make it 2 turns max and limit the amount of jutsu it can used while being on the field. Honestly, I don't like this technique, and I'll be strict in the next re-submission so try and restrict it well and be careful not to stack too many abilities.
    5th time . And btw i just followed simple template, so acc to A-rank offensive tech, DP should be 60, nothing else. And if something is still wrong with it, than plz try to tell all my mistakes at once. And if you didn't tell me all mistakes at once, than... i can't do anything but to resubmit it again.lol.

    (Raiton: Dendou Ame) - Lightning Release: Electric Rain
    Rank: A
    Range: Short-Long
    Type: Offense
    Chakra Cost: 30
    Damage Points: (+1 for each drop)
    Description: After using the technique "Rain at Will Tiger", the user concentrates on his raiton chakra and adds raiton chakra in rain. Once its done, it starts raining with lightning infused with water, instead of simple sensory water, which gives small bolts to opponent when hit.
    Note:-User is immune to this tech because it is his lightning chakra only which is present in rain.
    -When lightning is added to the rain, it becomes lightning-water combo.
    -Can only be used 2 times per battle.
    -Can only be taught by Bolt.

    ±± Declined ±± Lightning rain? without restrictions? The damage still doesn't add up. If you have rain you don't have only 60 droplets of rain...thus +1 for each droplet is ridiculous. A target could easily get hit with 100 droplets which is roughly a Forbidden rank. If you want this jutsu to be approved you need to work it out so that its not deadly basically because you are making lightning infused water to fall from the sky.

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~
    Unicorn can't use any techniques. Since you mentioned "limit the amount of jutsu it can used while being on the field."

    (Hisan Ikkakujuu) - Flying Unicorn
    Type: Defense/Supplementary
    Rank: A
    Range: Short (when created)
    Chakra Cost: [30 (+10 for every turn)
    Damage Points: N/A (+40 if get in contact with it)
    Description: The user creates a flying unicorn from any of his elemental chakra. User can sit on the unicorn as rider. The Unicorn protects the user from that element's jutsus upto B-rank and from the element it is strong against but is weak to its weak element.
    While running on ground he is very fast just like horse and while flying in sky he is just fast as bird. But when running in sky while flying, his speed gets increased.
    Note: ~Can only be used 2 times per battle.
    ~Can only be taught by Bolt.

    ±± Declined ±± 2 questions: First, how long does the unicorn last? Secondly, this jutsu would fall under the category of Regular Ninjutsu. Do you have ninjutsu training up to A-Rank?
     
         
    Last edited by Scorps; 02-07-2012 at 08:52 PM.

  7. #5532
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    Re: ♦ Custom Jutsu Submission ♦

    (Jashin Inori) Jashin Prayer
    Type: Supplementary
    Rank: S
    Range: Short/Mid/Long
    Chakra Cost: 40
    Damage Points: N/A
    Description: Hidan focuses a large amount of chakra into his Jashin Necklace and lifts it up to his mouth to kiss the symbol. Hidan then sends this built up chakra outwards towards an opponent. If the opponent looks at the Jashin symbol on the necklace, then they will fall under a Genjutsu. This Genjutsu shows the opponent coming under the uses of his ritual. This leaves the opponent shocked, confused, weak knee'd and short of breath.
    ~Can only be used by Hidan and with my permission.
    ~Can only be used once per match.
    ~Once this Genjutsu is used, Hidans turn immediatly ends.
    ~This Genjutsu leaves the opponent fatigued which means they can only use 2 jutsus for the following 2 turns with no higher then A rank Jutsus/Taijutsu.

    ±± Declined ±± If its a genjutsu then the title needs to express it. Genjutsu/Illusionary Arts. Also, i can't understand what the Genjutsu actually does. Look at the bolded. You can't, through Genjutsu make the opponent react in any way. You can make him feel anything his senses can perceive, but you can't force him to react to those sensations in a given way. While a weak ninja could be shocked, an experienced one would be calm and clear minded. Why would it leave the opponent fatigued? Work on that.

    Quote Originally Posted by Rasnall View Post
    Continuing with a few more Hidan only jutsus like the last ones (thanks for the apporaval btw haha) to help build up some more jutsus for him. So feel free to add any restrictions and any advance is always welcome.

    (Gai Kousaku Kansei) Scythe Cable Entrapment
    Type : Offensive
    Rank : B
    Range : Short-Long
    Chakra cost : 25
    Damage points : N/A
    Description : Using Hidans scythe, Hiden will throw the Scthye forward and manipulate the cable by rotating the arm, which puts the scythe and the cable into a spin (imagine a skipping rope spinning but moving forward at the same time). This looks like a normal throwing of the scythe but by doing this it allows Hidan to manipulate the extra cable to wrap around and bind an opponent if they block the attack within short range of themselves. They will bindded from waist to neck trapping both arms (both arms down by their side). Once bindded Hiden can retract the cable which will pull him forward towards the opponent.
    ~Can only be used by Hiden using his Scythe and with my permission.
    ~Can only be used 3 times per match
    ~Opponent has to have blocked the scythe within short range i.e. Used a sword or kunai etc

    ~Declined~ I have nothing against the jutsu in general, for the most part, but the description is too unclear. Re-submit with a clearer, simpler description.
    { 3rd under construction}
     
         
    Last edited by Scorps; 02-06-2012 at 11:48 PM.

  8. #5533
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    Re: ♦ Custom Jutsu Submission ♦

    Quote Originally Posted by Heavens Blade View Post
    (leoliguar kata: kiba za predator) leoliguar style: fang of the predator
    Type: Supplementry
    Rank: S
    Range: Short - Mid
    Chakra Cost: 40
    Damage Points: N/A
    Description: the leoliguar bares his teeth at its opponent and places the opponent into a deep genjutsu in the genjutsu the opponent believes they have shrunk down to the size of a mouse and is then eaten by the leoliguar
    -the leoliguar can't preform anymore leoliguar kata for the remander of the time its on the field (effect doesnt carry over if they are resummoned later)
    -can only be used once per match (meaning even if you bring out a different one they cant use it as well)
    Note: slightly changed the name and how they placed in the genjutsu

    ~Declined~ Showing his fang and falling in a genjutsu? How cheap is that lol. Make it so you need to perform hand seals and then make your summon show his fangs (or anything else that implies a connection between the animal/user and the opponent). I'd like you to add a restriction for you, not just the summon (ex: the user will be unable to perform ninjutsu the following turn).


    (fan doki) fan wrath
    Type: Mode
    Rank: S
    Range: Self
    Chakra Cost: N/A
    Damage Points: N/A [+10 to wind techs]
    Description: fan wrath is a fighting style which uses as the name suggest a fan it combines the fan as a weapon and as a catalyst for fuuton jutsu while in this mode you can only use fuuton jutsu and fan doki jutsu [which will be fan related moves and fuuton] the upside to this is most fuuton atacks will no long require handseals and you gain a ten point boost to wind techs fan wrath is primarly mid range fighting style that generally has the user useing the fan as a blunt weapon to push the opponent into mid range if they are short so they can deal devestating fuuton jutsu this fighting style requires the user to adept in weapon use as well as fuuton jutsu
    -can only be traind be battleandthebad and heavens blade
    -last 4 turns
    -can be entered once in a match
    -can be left at any time
    -cant use fuuton jutsu the next turn after you leave this mode and on the second turn after deactivation futon jutsu do 10 less damage
    -cant use any other elements besides fuuton while in this mode


    (fan doki: kyo shotto) fan wrath: big shot
    Type: Attack
    Rank: S
    Range: Short-Mid
    Chakra Cost: 40
    Damage Points: 80
    Description: while in fan wrath mode the user will swing there fan creating a large ball of wind this ball is slow moving but extremely durable once the ball reaches mid range the ball turns into hundreds of small balls of wind (bout the size of a marble) these balls are launched in a 180 degree radius and are very fast moving
    -can only be used in fan wrath mode
    -can only be used twice per battle
    -can only be taught by heavens blade

    ~Declined~ Something doesn't add up. The technique works from short-mid range and when your attack reach mid-range the big ball splits into smaller balls. So, do these smaller balls immediately disperse since you've reached your technique's maximum range?

    (fan doki: tsubame gaten) fan wrath: swallows assent
    Type:Attack
    Rank: A
    Range: Mid-Long
    Chakra Cost: 30
    Damage Points: 60
    Description: one of the few long range fan wrath moves the user jumps into the air swings there fan shooting a large but invisable amount of fuuton chakra to the the ground short range from them then the fuuton chakra travels underneath the ground and rises from underneath the opponent in the form of a large visable swallow (while the fuuton is invisable it still does make a visable hole in the ground)
    -the fuuton can be seen by doujutsu
    -as the fuuton travels under the earth toward the enemy, cracks can be seen appearing on the surface of the ground from the point of impact to the opponent's location.
    -can only be used in fan wrath mode
    -can only be used 3 times be match
    -can only be taught by heavens blade

    ~Approved~ Added a restriction since you mentioned the wind was denting the earth (bold part).
    (fan doki: kyo shotto) fan wrath: big shot
    Type: Attack
    Rank: S
    Range: Short-Mid
    Chakra Cost: 40
    Damage Points: 80
    Description: while in fan wrath mode the user will swing there fan creating a large ball of wind this ball is slow moving but extremely durable while in short range the ball is in this large form but when the ball reaches the short mid range line the ball turns into hundreds of small balls of wind (bout the size of a marble) these balls are launched in a 180 degree radius and are very fast moving the small balls go until they reach the mid long range line then the disperse
    -can only be used in fan wrath mode
    -can only be used twice per battle
    -can only be taught by heavens blade

    hope that clearifies what i mean

    ±± Declined ±± Its severely unrestricted. Its an S-Rank wind technique. It needs some restriction besides the fact that i can only be used 2 times.

    (leoliguar kata: kiba za predator) leoliguar style: fang of the predator
    Type: Supplementry
    Rank: S
    Range: Short - Mid
    Chakra Cost: 40
    Damage Points: N/A
    Description: the summoner does three handseals then the leoliguar bares his teeth at its opponent and places the opponent into a deep genjutsu in the genjutsu the opponent believes they have shrunk down to the size of a mouse and is then attacked by the leoliguar
    -the leoliguar can't preform anymore leoliguar kata for the remander of the time its on the field (effect doesnt carry over if they are resummoned later)
    -can only be used once per match (meaning even if you bring out a different one they cant use it as well)
    -summoner cant preform any genjutsu the next turn

    ±± Declined ±± Two things: If the leoliguar attacks the enemy in the genjutsu then the enemy will suffer damage from the mental pain of the attack he suffered within the genjutsu. Also, this technique is much more like an A-rank than an S-Rank. Other than that its ok.

    (Kuchiyose no Jutsu/raiton: tama no keibatsu) summoning technique/lightning release: ball of judgement
    Type: Attack/supplementry
    Rank: S
    Range: Short-Long
    Chakra Cost: 40
    Damage Points: 60
    Description: the user does three handseals then presses there hand on a tattoo and summones a dense ball of electricity above themself the ball can shoot out bolts of lighting that are A ranked this ball must stay in short range of the summoner it floats about 4 feet about above the user and is stationary
    -must stay in short range of ball or it is destroyed
    -every lighting blast done by the ball counts as one of your three moves
    -can only be used once per match
    -user cant use any lighting jutsu while this is in play and for the following turn
    -can only be taught by heavens blade
    -this is the tattoo


    ±± Declined ±± I don't think i missed it but how long does the ball last? Also, is this a ball of pure lightning or a tool/weapon that becomes infused with lightning? If you are summoning a ball of pure lightning then its a no no. You can summon objects or living things or matter. Not energy. I would accept you summoning a large boulder or a large amount of water. However, pure lightning energy isn't possible.
     
         
    Last edited by Scorps; 02-06-2012 at 11:57 PM.

  9. #5534
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    Re: ♦ Custom Jutsu Submission ♦

    Quote Originally Posted by -Hatake- View Post
    (Narsil- Gai Kyoui): Narsil- Scythe of Wonder
    Type: Weapon
    Rank: S
    Range: Short-Mid
    Chackra cost: N/a
    Damage: N/A
    Description: Narsil is basically a double ended scythe which is very powerful. It is a double sided scythe, which means there is a blade on both ends of the scythe. The scythe itself is made of hard steel and the blades on either ends are made of a solid steel so they are very difficult for the opponent to break. The special part of the Narsil scythe is that it is double sided, allowing a user to channel elemental chakra to one or both of the sides. If, lets say a user channels lightning chakra to one of the blades of the scythes, that blade is infused with lightning chakra and will be able to use Lightning jutsu's up to A-rank and will be able to defend against Lightning attacks of upto B-rank. Also when a elemental chakra is channelled into one of the blades it will glow the color of the element, like Yellow for lightning or red for fire. Also 2 elemental chakra's can be channelled into the blade on either side, for example one blade can be infused with lightning and the other can be infused with wind etc. This allows the user to use wind and lightning justu's up to A-rank and defend against lightning and wind jutsu's using the sword up to B-rank, however only the side that has been channelled with that specific element can block that elements attack. So if I had one of my blades infused with wind and the other lightning, I would have to use the Wind blade to block wind attacks. The scythe is also very powerful and can be used to attack an enemy like a normal sword, but is difficult to master because of the 2 sides and the user may be hit if not used correctly. It can also recognize the chakra of the user so if any other user tries to wield it, it will not work.

    Note: Once a certain type of chakra is channelled into 1 of the blades of the scythe, it cannot be changed to a different element
    Note: Once both of the blades of the scythe have been channelled with chakra, they cannot be changed to a different type of element.
    Note: One of the blades of the scythe, with whatever element they have been channelled with can only use 2 attacks and can defend 2, after that the blade is rendered unable to do anything except used as a weapon. Same goes for the other blade.
    Note: If one of the blades of the scythe uses an attack of an element, it counts as one of the 3 moves of your turn.
    Note: Can only be used by -Hatake-



    Declined, make it a single elemental charge only and make the defending against element also count as one your moves
    Resubmitting:

    (Narsil- Gai Kyoui): Narsil- Scythe of Wonder
    Type: Weapon
    Rank: S
    Range: Short-Mid
    Chackra cost: N/a
    Damage: N/A
    Description: Narsil is basically a double ended scythe which is very powerful. It is a double sided scythe, which means there is a blade on both ends of the scythe. The scythe itself is made of hard steel and the blades on either ends are made of a solid steel so they are very difficult for the opponent to break. The special part of the Narsil scythe is that it is double sided, allowing a user to channel elemental chakra to one or both of the sides. If, lets say a user channels lightning chakra to one of the blades of the scythes, that blade is infused with lightning chakra and will be able to use Lightning jutsu's up to A-rank and will be able to defend against Lightning attacks of upto B-rank. Also when a elemental chakra is channelled into one of the blades it will glow the color of the element, like Yellow for lightning or red for fire. The scythe is also very powerful and can be used to attack an enemy like a normal sword, but is difficult to master because of the 2 sides and the user may be hit if not used correctly. It can also recognize the chakra of the user so if any other user tries to wield it, it will not work.

    Note: Once a certain type of chakra is channelled into 1 of the blades of the scythe, it cannot be changed to a different element
    Note: If you use the blade to block an attack of a particular element, that counts as one of your moves.
    Note: The blade of the scythe, with whatever element it has been channelled with can only use 2 attacks and can defend 2, after that the blade is rendered unable to do anything except used as a weapon.
    Note: If one of the blades of the scythe uses an attack of an element, it counts as one of the 3 moves of your turn.
    Note: Can only be used by -Hatake-



    Removed what you told me to and the changes are in bold.

    ±± Approved ±±
     
         
    Last edited by Scorps; 02-07-2012 at 12:01 AM.

  10. #5535
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    Re: ♦ Custom Jutsu Submission ♦

    Hanma Geijutsu (Hammer Arts) Hanma Geijutsu is simmilar to Kenjutsu in that the user performs various techniques with the use of their Warhammer. The user utilizes the blunt force and wide surface area of the hammers face to deal great sheer-force blows, and deflect oncoming attacks.

    (Hanma Geijutsu: Surappuu~Eikuappu) Hammer Arts: Wake Up Slap
    Rank: A
    Type: Offensive
    Range: Short
    chakra: N/A
    Damage: 60
    Description: The user will swipe their hammer at the targets head in one direction, and then swipe it back a second time to hit both sides of the target's face.
    Note: ~Can only be taught by Sharingdork
    ~Can only be used by a bio with a War Hammer

    Naginata Geijutsu (Naginata Arts) Naginata Geijutsu is simmilar to Kenjutsu in that the user performs various techniques with the use of their Naginata. The user utilizes the lengthy handle to strike from a safe distance, and the serrated edge to tear the target apart. The user also utilizes the lengthy handle to deflect incoming projectiles before they're a big threat.

    (Naginata Geijutsu: Shuredda no Saikuron) Naginata Arts: Shredding Cyclone
    Rank: A
    Type: Offencive
    Range: Short
    chakra: N/A
    Damage: 60
    Description: The user will hold their Naginata out to the side of their body, and runs around the target in a circular motion. They will begin to cut the target with the serrated edge of their Naginata as they run around.
    Note: ~Can only be taught by Sharingdork
    ~Can only be used by a bio with a Naginata

    (Naginata Geijutsu: Tsuisutā) Naginata Arts: Twister
    Rank: B
    Type: Defencive/Supplementary
    Range: Short
    chakra: N/A
    Damage: 40
    Description: The user will hold their Naginata in front of them, and then proceed to spin on the spot at high speeds. While the user is spinning, they're swiftly raising and lowering the blade of the Naginata, which when combined with the high-speed spinning, appears to create a wall that will deflect oncomming projectiles. If someone were to come to close to the user while using this technique, they would be cut to ribbons bu the quick succession of strikes, and the varrying level of which the cuts would be obtained.
    Note: ~Can only be taught by Sharingdork
    ~Can only be used by a bio with a Naginata

    ±± All Declined ±± You're only allowed to submit 3 jutsus per week, breaking this rule results in a 1 week ban from this thread (one full cycle). Your ban will be lifted on the 14th of february.

    It was already explained many times. When submitting a custom fighting style, that fighting style counts as a technique so you can only submit the style + 2 techniques of that same style.
     
         
    Last edited by Scorps; 02-07-2012 at 10:52 AM.

  11. #5536
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    Re: ♦ Custom Jutsu Submission ♦

    Quote Originally Posted by Leash.. View Post
    [ Muijitsu ] | Innocent

    Rank: S
    Type: Weapon - Supplementary
    Range: Self
    Chakra: 40 [ +5 chakra to the genjutsu ]
    Damage: 80 [ +10 to lightning techniques ]
    Description: Innocent is a sword which was made a long time ago, this sword has a dragon sign in it and when Innocent reveal or get's a new owner the dragon will glow like water is flowing through it. Innocent is a really sharp sword, for the user to be able to use it he first has to know how to use the sword since with one stab it could kill someone, this sword is also kinda long and is also really light. Innocent has really great powers, not any member could control them. Innocent is able to trap people on his special genjutsu which let the opponent see that they are on the same fight and they still battling normally but they really not, the genjutsu is a s-rank type but not only that the user is able to control the opponent mind once his trapped and by doing that he has to spin the sword around making the sword dragon shine the user is able to control the fight on the opponent mind for example, if the user want's he could do a forbidden technique on the opponent mind and if the opponent get hit, he will physically think is a real hit and so the opponent brain will crush due to the great deal of damage that the opponent could get from the genjutsu. The sword is also able to give the user a +10 to lightning techniques. To trap the enemy on the genjutsu the user has to spin their sword.

    • Only Pain.. could use this sword and control it's power
    • Once the opponent is under the genjutsu he can't use any elemental attack until the opponent release himself/herself from the genjutsu
    • The Genjutsu can be use once and it last two rounds
    • The Genjutsu count's towards a move




    ~Declined~ The description is a mess and the genjutsu used by your sword already exist.

    ( Kuchiyose: Hawkie ) Summoning: Hawkie

    Rank: B
    Type: Supplementary
    Range: Short
    Chakra: 25
    Damage: N/A
    Description: The user will do the necessary hand seals or wipe blood on his/her tattoo, once the user has done this the user will summon a Raven call Hawkie. Hawkie is a raven which specialize in speed. Hawkie is one of fastest raven and he also travel at fair speed when walking but when flying he travels at amazing speed. Hawkie is also, able to do a wind technique, this wind technique requires no hand seal and is made a fair speed. The wind technique is specialize as a shield, once the technique is made a wind tornado will surround the user as a shield and when the opponent gets near the tornado the tornado will easily cut the opponent and make a deep wound. Hawkie is half size of Gamabunta and can carry two people on his back.

    • It last five turns
    • Hawkie special technique counts as a move
    • Must sign the Raven contract
    • Can only be taught by Pain.. or -Ace-
    • Once the tornado is form it last until the Raven goes back which is four rounds





    This is the Raven's tattoo.


    ~Declined~ The ability to form a tornado around the user was done dozens of times. You didn't precise to what rank your summon could use wind. A B-rank summon being half the size of bunta? No.

    ( Katon: Hikaui Enkou ) Fire Style: Low Flame

    Rank: S
    Type: Attack
    Range: Short - Long
    Chakra: 40
    Damage: 80
    Description: The user will focus fire chakra on his tip of his Index finger, once the user has done this a small fire ball will appear on top of the user Index finger once done the user will aim his finger to the target and make a 'Pulse' with his left hand which will led to the fire ball being shot and when the user makes a heavy step the fire ball will explode and the smoke of the fire is extremely hot which would burn the user skin and the explosion is three yards long.
    • Once per battle
    • The user can't use a fire technique on same move
    • Must be taught by Pain..


    ~Declined~ Similar technique already exist.
    [ Katon: Abunai Enkou ] Fire: Dangerous Flame

    Rank: S
    Type: Attack
    Range: Short - Long
    Chakra: 40
    Damage: 80
    Description: The user will do two hand seals which are known as 'Ram and Tiger' once done the user will focus his/her fire chakra and his palm once the user hand done this a straight fire flame will be made which will attack the opponent but this laser isn't a normal fire laser is a different type, when the user adds a bit more fire chakra a lot more laser will pop up from the current one, if the opponent touches one laser it would cause a big burn on the user body.
    • Once per battle
    • No fire jutsu at the same round
    • It can only be taught by Pain..



    ±± Declined ±± Many similar techniques already exist


    [ Raiton: Ya Rein ] Lightning Release: Arrow Rain

    Rank: Forbidden
    Type: Attack
    Range: Long
    Chakra: 50
    Damage: 90 [ -20 to the user ]
    Description: The user will focus a large amount of lightning chakra and do four hand seals which are Tiger, Rat, Dog and Bird. Once the user has done this and has focus lightning chakra he will shape manipulate the lightning chakra into sharp arrows which will fall upon the opponent like rain drops from above. The arrows are extremely sharp and they fall a large amount of it. Another thing is that the arrows drop at fast enough speed like a strike.
    • Only usable twice per two week
    • Can only be use by Pain or who he have taught
    • No lightning at the same turn
    • It count as two moves


    ±± Declined ±± Why is this forbidden? Were are the proper restrictions? Were does the lightning come from? do you shoot them from your hands? mouth? Does it simply appear? Also, you need to reword this a lot more since its getting too similar to existing techniques.

    PS-> why did you quote a previous submission?
     
         
    Last edited by Scorps; 02-07-2012 at 10:59 AM.

  12. #5537
    Professor Sarutobi's Avatar
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    Red flesh cloud's choking out
    the morning sky, they said
    it'd never come, we knew it
    was a lie. All forms of life
    die now, the humans all
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    goodbye. the end has just
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    Re: ♦ Custom Jutsu Submission ♦

    Quote Originally Posted by Professor Sarutobi View Post
    Genjutsu: Haiena Hakuryoko ) Illusionary technique: Hyena's intensity
    Rank: B
    Type: Supplementary/Offensive
    Range: Short-mid
    Chakra Cost: 25
    Damage points: N/A
    Description: The user locks eyes with the enemy and places them in a genjutsu where the area around the user turns black and a pair of massive hyenas eyes and teeth appear in the black area and the enemy hears a hyena's laughter blocking their sense of hearing. The user can move or attack during the illusion but the enemy will see them keeping eye contact and standing still while in the illusion.
    -Only 3 times per battle.
    - can only be used by those who have signed the Hyena contract.

    ~Declined~ Why would the enemy stand still?




    (Furui ki Hozuki jouin: Poseidon )Ancient Weapon of the Hozuki Clan Lords: Poseidon
    Rank: S
    Type: Supplementary
    Range: Short
    Chakra cost: 15 to reform or reshape
    Damage points:+5 to kenjutsu damage, +10 to water jutsu
    Description: This weapon was created by the founding members of the Hozuki clan in the days before the 5 great village system and lost during war until the 2nd Mizukage found where it had been sealed away by the 1st hokage at the bottom of the ocean. The weapon itself has no one true form as it was forged to work with Hozuki lords it can be turned into water at will or shaped into any size or shape, when solidified theweaponsmetal takeson the form of steel with a blue tint and its cloth or wood will be dark blue. The unique powers imbued in Poseidon also allows Hozuki users of Sannin rank and above to use C rank water techniques without hand seals as long as Poseidon is in the users possesstion. If hit by lightning or fire of high enough power (B rank and above)Poseidon will becomes mist for a short time ( 2 turns) before reforming, making it impossible to destroy for good. Poseidon can also be merged into its master's body at will for safekeeping and surprise attacks.
    - Can be turned into any basic weapon the user can think of and use (counts as one of the 3 turns) but it is limited to its own water source so it can't become any larger then Samehada or longer then 3 meters
    -Can only be used by members of the Hozuki Clan.If someone else tries to hold Poseidon it simply becomes water and returns to its master. ( or if its master has been obliterated it turns into a fine mist and reforms in the ocean it was found originally.)
    - Can only be wielded by Professor Sarutobi and those he gives permission

    Removed the c rank no seals thing, removed the revive ability and limited its size

    ~Declined do not resubmit~ As I said before, your weapon is a mix of several existing weapon, hence it will never be acceptable. I didn't thought I needed to put the "Do not resubmit" on the last submission for you to understand =/.



    (Suiton: Kyousei Mizu Katai no Jutsu) - Water Release: Great Water Leg Technique
    Rank: B
    Type: Supplementary
    Range: Short
    Chakra cost: 20
    Damage points: N/A (+10 to physical attacks done with legs)
    Description: By putting the Hydration Technique into practical use, the muscles in the user's legs are temporarily enlarged and strengthened. Moisture is gathered from the whole body and compressed into the both legs. However, because it is essential to properly control the moisture balance inside the body, this technique's degree of difficulty is very high. This jutsu gives the user enhanced speed the user is also then capable of crushing both rock walls (c rank and below) and making large dents in steel doors with a single kick.
    Note: Must use Hydration Technique before hand and be a member of the Hozuki Clan.

    ~Declined~ First of all, many similar techniques already exist, but since this is characteristic to the Hozuki clan, I'll accept it. Now, this is no B-rank. Make it S-rank and restrict it accordingly. I will not accept a technique that you can use for an unlimited amount of time, with no drawbacks, that makes you significantly faster and stronger.
    I meant the user standing still like making a false surrounding.

    (Suiton: Kyousei Mizu Katai no Jutsu) - Water Release: Great Water Leg Technique
    Rank: S
    Type: Supplementary
    Range: Short
    Chakra cost: 40
    Damage points: (+10 to physical attacks done with legs) Description: By putting the Hydration Technique into practical use, the muscles in the user's legs are temporarily enlarged and strengthened. Moisture is gathered from the whole body and compressed into the both legs. However, because it is essential to properly control the moisture balance inside the body, this technique's degree of difficulty is very high. This jutsu gives the user enhanced speed the user is also then capable of crushing both rock walls (c rank and below) and making large dents in steel doors with a single kick.
    Note: Must use Hydration Technique before hand and be a member of the Hozuki Clan.
    Can only be used 3 times per battle
    Lasts 3 turns

    ±± Declined ±± Still not enough resctrictions. You can only use it 3 times and for 3 turns...and what more? Its still not rearly as restricted as it needs to be.


    (Ninpo: Rijekuto ) Ninja Art: Reject
    Type: Offensive
    Rank: S
    Range: Short
    Chakra Cost: 40
    Damage Points: N/A
    Description: User sends a massive amount of chakra to his palm and places it on a target and forces the chakra out in a rapid and powerful focused blast that causes damage to both user and target with full body backlashs making the technique a double-edged sword. If used more then twice per battle it will kill the user on the third use
    -Three times per battle
    -Only taught by Professor Sarutobi
    -First use causes small wounds and heavy breathing in user, 2nd use will crack bones and cause loss of balance, 3rd use will result in death.

    ±± Declined ±± This is a rip off of the hyugas blunt chakra blasts.

    Summoning Technique: Garp
    Rank: S
    Type: Supplementary
    Range: Short
    Chakra Cost: 40
    Damage points: N/A
    Description: After doing the necessary hand seals and wiping blood on their hand the user can summon Garp a giant elder hyena as tall as gamabunta with grey and black fur who has unnaturally strong willpower and amazing strength and durability able to smash through anything A rank and below without slowing down. Garp also has an incredibly thick hyde making him immune to all but S rank lightning.
    -Once per battle
    -Lasts for 4 turns
    -Can only be used by those who have signed the Hyena contract.

    ±± Declined ±± Nothing but s-Rank lightning? size of gamabunta? Can overcome anything A-Rank without slowing down? Need i say more? OPed. Tone it down. Way down. Besides, this is more like a Boss summon.

    Feel free to adjust the turns/uses
     
         
    Last edited by Scorps; 02-07-2012 at 11:06 AM.

  13. #5538
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    Re: ♦ Custom Jutsu Submission ♦

    (Kage doragon) Shadow Dragon
    Type: Offensive
    Rank: A
    Range: Short-Mid
    Chakra Cost: 30
    Damage: 60
    Description: The user will control his shadow and make it launch into the air. Then they manipulate the shadow to look like a dragon. The dragon is then sent towards the target and if it hits the target is damaged greatly and caught by shadow possession. The user is able to control the dragon however they want. They could make it wrap around the target and bind them. When the dragon wraps around them they cant perform handseals because the user is in control of there bodies. The dragon is capable of wrapping around the target three times. The higher the sun is the faster the dragon moves.
    Note: Must be a Nara member
    Note: No shadow techniques for the next two turns
    Note: Can only be used 3 times per battle
    Note: The dragon can be destroyed by 2 B ranks or 1 A rank techniques

    ±± Declined ±± Take out the bolded part please. Weather has some factor in our RP but if you put that there, it becomes too subjective. You can say you battle in the sun or the shade or in a storm. It shouldn't matter that much.
     
         
    Last edited by Scorps; 02-07-2012 at 11:10 AM.

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    Re: ♦ Custom Jutsu Submission ♦

    (leo)leo
    Rank: A
    Type: Summoning
    Range: Short
    Chakra Cost: 30
    Damage Points: [+15 fuuton]
    Description: the summoner does a couple of handseals and wipes blood on a tatoo then summons leo a elderly leoliguar who back in his day was considered to be one of the strongest fuuton jutsu users however due to his age he can no longer preform fuuton jutsu however he can transform himself into a giant folding fan and while as a fan he increases the useres fuuton based attacks
    -can only be summoned once
    -stays out 4 turns
    -must have signed the leoliguar contract
    -tattoo


    ±± Declined ±± link to the summoning contract proving you have signed it?
     
         
    Last edited by Scorps; 02-07-2012 at 11:10 AM.

  15. #5540
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    Re: ♦ Custom Jutsu Submission ♦

    didgridoo
    Rank: A
    Type: Attack
    Range: Close
    Chakra Cost:40
    Damage:60
    Description: A wind instrument developed by an indigenous people from a far away land. Made from a large hollowed out hardwood, imbued with chakra. The user blows into this instrument, creating a loud sound. The frequency spreads a large distance and can be heard throught the area. Depending on how much the user blows into the instrument, determines how loud and how far the resonance will be. because it is very light, and very hard, the weapon can be used as an weapon to club or jab enemies with.

    ±± Declined ±± The idea is good but it needs work. First the type isn't attack, its "weapon". Also you need to rank and describe the effects of this sound a bit better. The usage of the sound technique needs to be restricted in rank and to a set number of times. This is a weapon so it doesn't cost you chakra nor does it do any damage on its own. Leave it N/A on both fields.


    Ninja Art- Trembling Soundwave (buruburu oto nami
    Rank: A
    Type: Attack
    Range: Close- long
    Chakra Cost:40
    Damage:N/A
    Description: The user blows into their didgridoo, by doing so releases a soundwave infused with their own chakra, a sound based genjutsu. Upon hearing the sound, the victim is placed in a genjutsu where there vision becomes altered. In their eyes, the entire world around them begins to massively shake constantly and causing dizziness, nausea, and a loss of balance.
    *Can only use once every other turn

    ±± Declined ±± the weapon wasn't approved. And also, to have sound based genjutsu you need to have mastered genjutsu...have you? Because this isn't a Ninjutsu. Its a Sound Genjutsu.


    Ninja Art- Double Vision (Nijuu Genzou)
    Rank: A
    Type: Attack
    Range: Close- Mid
    Chakra cost: 40
    Damage: N/A
    Description: The user casts a genjutsu on the opponent to trick the opponent into seeing doubles of everything they look at including people, and general surroundings.
    *Lasts for two turns

    ±± Declined ±± again, this is not Ninjutsu/Ninja Arts. Its a genjutsu. Have you been trained in genjutsu?
     
         
    Last edited by Scorps; 02-07-2012 at 11:52 AM.

  16. #5541
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    Re: ♦ Custom Jutsu Submission ♦

    (Momoirohigi: Buririanto Panku) | Pink Secret Technique: Brilliant Punk
    Type: Attack
    Rank: A
    Range: Short-Long
    Chakra Cost: 30
    Damage: 60
    Description: This attack utilizes the hard metallic defense of Diamond Jozu and turns it into an offensive attack. The puppeteer controls Jozu by having it move towards the opponent at high speeds with its metallic shingles facing outwards. The puppet smashes into the target causing considerable damage while knocking them back.
    -Can be used three times per battle.
    -Must be capable of using the Diamond Jozu puppet.

    ±± Approved ±±


    For Reference:
    (Momoirohigi: Daiyamondo Jozu) | Pink Secret Technique: Diamond Jozu
    Type: Puppet
    Rank: A
    Range: N/A
    Chakra: 30
    Damage: N/A
    Description: Diamond Jozu is a very large humanoid puppet with an empty chest cavity that can hold a puppeteer similar to Sasori's Hiruko. The defensive ability of this puppet comes from it's shingle like armor. One side of the shingles is the typical wooden plating used for most puppets, however the other side is plated with a very shiny metal which has the appearance of diamond when light shines off of it. At any time the puppeteer can flip these shingles exposing their defensive side. These shingles are capable of defending against a limited number of A-rank attacks, and is impervious to B-rank and below attacks. The front chest of the puppet also folds up exposing a moderate sized open window for the puppeteer to see from (can be seen in pic as the greenish chest plate area). This windowed area doesn't contain the metallic shingles and is a point of weakness for the puppet and is vulnerable to all attacks. The typical entrance/exit for this puppet is its back which can be used to quickly abandon it if needed.
    -Metal Plating crumbles away after taking one A-ranked attack. S/Forbidden attacks instantly destroy both the armor and the puppet.



    (Momoirohigi: Kanchi-sama) | Pink Secret Technique: Lord Canti
    Type: Puppet
    Rank: S
    Range: N/A
    Chakra Cost: N/A (40 for Chakra Cannon)
    Damage: N/A (80 for Chakra Cannon)
    Description: Lord Canti is a puppet developed by Doflamingo as an offensive compliment to the defensive Diamond Jozu. Lord Canti is a red robotic-humanoid looking puppet that stands slightly taller than most people. Its base weapon is a red guitar with bladed edges which is used for direct melee combat. It also has the capability to use the basic puppetry attacks by releasing kunai, senbon, smoke bombs, etc. from its arms, including the basic chakra shield which opens up from his right arm. Canti can release a strong stream of fire from its grill-like mouth that reaches mid range and is A-rank in power. Canti's most powerful attack is a specialized chakra cannon used to devastate the opponent (submitted as a separate technique).
    -All abilities used through Canti count as a move.
    -Fire is A-rank, reaches mid-range and can be used three times.
    -Image:


    ±± Declined ±± just take away the reference to robotics. No modern tecnology references in the RP. Other than that, its good


    (Momoirohigi: Batta-appu) | Pink Secret Technique: Batters Up
    Type: Attack
    Rank: S
    Range: Short-Long
    Chakra Cost: 40
    Damage: 80
    Description: This is Lord Canti's most powerful attack. The puppeteer controls Canti and tansforms its body into the shape of a cannon with a long barrel. They charge the puppet with chakra and then fire a condensed ball of chakra at high speeds towards the target. Once the ball hits its target it erupts in a massive blast decimating the target. This can only be used twice per battle due to the strain it puts on the body of the puppet. Due to the structural stress put on the puppet, after the second use it becomes unable to use puppetry techniques above C-rank.
    -Can only be used twice per battle.
    -Puppetry techniques above C-rank unusable after the second use.
    -Image:


    ±± Declined ±± define the bolded part a bit better. Other than that, although a chakra Canon-like ninjutsu exists, its possible in the logic of the puppets and puppet techniques so rest seems fine.
     
         
    Last edited by Scorps; 02-07-2012 at 12:08 PM.

  17. #5542
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    Re: ♦ Custom Jutsu Submission ♦

    Quote Originally Posted by Lord of Kaos View Post
    1. (Bone Release: Dance of A Thousand Flapping Bird's of Ascent) Honeton: Habataku Chidori Nobori no Mai
    Rank: Forbidden
    Type: Offensive
    Range: Short
    Chakra: 50
    Damage: 90 (+10 to user)
    Description: Derived from 1000 Birds Spike Ball, the user quickly and skillfully grows two long bone spikes through his palms, made from the densest and strongest Kaguya bone and with the ends tapered off, being hallow on the inside. The user than adds large amounts of lightning chakra through the bones, causing slight damage to the user's arms. While adding lightning chakra through the middle of the spikes, the user also channels Wind chakra along the outside of the spikes, causing them to be even sharper, allowing it to pierce through earth jutsus of up to Forbidden rank and steel (not all metal-based CE armors however). The user then stabs the enemy with said spikes, using the wind to increase the cutting power and the lightning to paralyze the target on contact. Upon making entry with the target, the user forces the spikes to explode, sending bone shrapnel from the inside of the target with enough force to blow a limb off if stabbed inside a limb. When the shrapnel explodes, the sound of a thousand birds taking off is heard, giving the technique it's name. A master of this technique is able to use this mold both the wind and lightning chakras throughout and around the bones as they are forming, allowing him to be able to used it as the bones are growing.
    *Can only be used twice*
    *Can be used as the bones are growing outwards*
    *After using, the user cannot use any Bone jutsus for two turns and lightning for one turn afterwards*
    *The user also cannot use any summoning jutsus the next 3 turns as well*
    *Must have had basic Yin/Yang training to use this jutsu*
    *The user's arms chakra path will be injured from the use of two simulatenous chakra types and the user will take substantially more time making handseals and will only be able to use taijutsu of B-rank and lower the next two turns*
    *Can only be used by Lord of Kaos and Goro Kaguya*

    Derived from this jutsu in the spoiler (placed in spoiler so it will not be confused with a submission of mine).
    (Honeton: Chidori Gosunkugi Mari) - Bone Release : 1000 Birds Spike Ball
    Rank: A
    Type: Attack
    Range: Short-Mid
    Chakra: 30
    Damage: 60
    Description: User focuses a large amount of lightning chakra into the palm of their hand( about the size of a chidori, but 2 twice the chakra). After forming the chidori in the center of the palm, wraps their hand in a super dense bone covering. At the top of bone covering there are 3 open tipped bone spikes. User then rushes the opponent at an incredible speed and inserts the chidori through spikes into the opponents flesh causing paralysis (for one turn) in them after 2 turns.
    Note
    *Can only be used 2 twice per battle*


    ~Leaving for Mugi~

    2. (Water Style: Atomic Abyss: Poseidon's Aquatic Destruction) ♆ Suiton: Atomikku Shin'en: Poseidon's Suijou Metsubou
    Type: Offensive
    Rank: S
    Range: Close-Long (most effective up close)
    Chakra: 40
    Damage: 80 (+40 to user if hit)
    Description: The user starts by making several condensed large balls of water with great pressure compressing them to the size of basketballs but the solidarity of ice (still water, just tightly compacted). The user then causes the orbs to sink into the water source he and his opponent are standing on, creating an mine-field in the ocean of sorts. If the opponent moves through underwater, he will cause a chain reaction, causing all of the water orbs to forcibly explode, causing great damage to anything caught underwater, with enough force to break bones on contact and cause severe internal damage to and rupture organs and even remove limbs. If both the user and enemy are standing on the water surface, and they move, it will cause the orbs near the surface to explode firstly, still causing a chain-reaction. The explosions, if above water, have the force and power to blow holes in metal.
    *Can only be used once*
    *after using, the user nor the opponent can move for 3 turns. After the three turns, the orbs loose their compressed-ness and the user and opponent will have no threats presented when moving*
    *If the user is on the water when detonate, he will take the same damage the enemy would take*
    *After using, the user cannot use water jutsus for three turns*
    *The user is able to control the orbs released nearby him when he moves but doing so takes a great deal of chakra from him and thus, he can only use 1 jutsu per turn if he does this (must be stated). Once the explosions start, however, he will no longer be able to control them*
    *If hit by orbs, the user's bones will be broken and damaged and he will be unable to move*
    *Can only be used by Lord of Kaos*

    ~Declined~ Very interesting technique. I just have a few things to be added: How many (hence you'd need to state their exact location when placing them in the water)? If you can control them, how can I be sure you won't simply direct them at your opponent off the bat? I really need you to efficiently spread them, otherwise you could simply stack them all under your opponent and have yourself a blast (if you don't mind the pun ).
    at the play on words.

    1. (Water Style: Atomic Abyss: Poseidon's Aquatic Destruction) ♆ Suiton: Atomikku Shin'en: Poseidon's Suijou Metsubou
    Type: Offensive
    Rank: S
    Range: Close-Long (most effective up close)
    Chakra: 40
    Damage: 80 (+40 to user if hit)
    Description: The user starts by making several (up to 5 in short range, 10 mid range and 15 in long range, basically five in each range) condensed large balls of water with great pressure compressing them to the size of basketballs but the solidarity of ice (still water, just tightly compacted). The user then causes the orbs to sink into the water source he and his opponent are standing on, creating an mine-field in the ocean of sorts. If the user choices to, he can also create said orbs in the water itself, preventing the opponent a chance to detect them (doujutsu and chakra sensing abilities aside, of course). The orbs are then spread in a pentagonal shape, surrounding the user and opponent, with 3 pentagons in total: one surrounding the enemy in short range, one in mid range and the last in long range. If the opponent moves around underwater, he will cause a chain reaction, causing all of the water orbs to forcibly explode, causing great damage to anything caught underwater, with enough force to break bones on contact and cause severe internal damage to and rupture organs and even remove limbs. If both the user and enemy are standing on the water surface, and they move, it will cause the orbs near the surface to explode firstly, still causing a chain-reaction. The explosions, if above water, have the force and power to blow holes in metal.
    *Can only be used once*
    *after using, neither the user nor the opponent can move for 3 turns. After the three turns, the orbs loose their "compressed-ness", for lack of a better word, and the user and opponent will have no threats presented when moving*
    *If the user is on the water when detonated, he will take the same damage the enemy would take*
    *After using, the user cannot use water jutsus for three turns*
    *The user is able to control the orbs released nearby him when he moves but doing so takes a great deal of chakra from him and thus, he can only use 1 jutsu per turn if he does this (must be stated). The user is only able to take control of up to 3 orbs with each one coming from a different range, i.e. one from short, one from mid and one from long range. Once the explosions start, however, he will no longer be able to control them*
    *If hit by orbs, the user's bones will be broken and damaged and he will be unable to move*
    *Can only be used by Lord of Kaos*

    ±± Pending ±± Just a few remarks: If it causes damage to yourself (which apparently it does), its not an S-Rank. Also, the description needs to be a bit more clear regarding the 3 pentagons. Is their range (short, mid, long) in relation to you or to the enemy? Also, the word you are looking for is "lack of pressure" :D Contact me through Vm with the replies to this and i'll recheck.


    2. (Water Style/Sword Style: Poseidon's Restraint) ♆ Suiton/Kenjutsu: Poseidon's Seisai
    Type: Offensive/Defensive
    Rank: A
    Range: Short-Mid
    Chakra: 30
    Damage: 60
    Description: The user channels chakra into his sword to split the sword into several smaller kunais, resembling the sword's appearance (appearance only, doesn't gain abilities of the sword). The user then channels water chakra into the several kunai's and turns the kunais into water, that he sends at the enemy. As the several small bodies of water approach the enemy, the water turns back into several kunais that pierce the enemy. The user can also use this jutsu to restrain the target by directing the kunais at the target's limbs, pinning him either to a wall, ground, or other solid object. The user can also use this jutsu with wire between the kunais. When the kunais are turned to water, the wire stays connected through means of chakra. After two turns the kunais turn back to water and at the end of the following turn (three turns after usage), the kunais regroup to form the sword again, which travels to the user with great speed.
    *can only be used three turns*
    *after using, the user cannot use water related jutsus the next turn*
    *Can only be used every two turns*
    *Can only be used by Lord of Kaos*

    ±± Declined ±± Too many stacked abilities. Work on the description a bit better. Restrictions are ok as is the general idea. Just make it so that its simpler as what you are basically making are small kunais of water that you send to attack your enemy and pierce him while having the ability to have wires attached to them. However, i'm a bit sceptical of how the wires stay connected through chakra. Explain that part a bit better ^^
     
         
    Last edited by Scorps; 02-07-2012 at 01:02 PM.

  18. #5543
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    Re: ♦ Custom Jutsu Submission ♦

    (Dim Mak - Katai Sujichigai) Deaths Touch - Leg Cramp
    Rank: B
    Range: Short
    Type: Offensive
    Chakra Cost: N/A
    Damage Points: 40
    Description: The user places one hand on the ground or a solid surface,he then swings one leg around at a swift speed and makes contact with the enemy's lower thigh.This attacks the pressure point leading to one of the arteries.If the attack is successful the enemy will feel a sharp pain in his thigh causing him to collapse to his knees,he is unable to stand for one turn.Continues attacks can cause internal bleeding in the arteries
    ~ Lasts one turn
    ~ Must be taught Dim Mak to use

    ±± Declined ±± link to Dim Mak approval? Also, do you have medical training? And that attack in that place wouldn't work that way actually but ok. Trust me, its my area of work.

    For referance


    (Kijuuki Kata) Crane Form
    Type: Offensive
    Rank: B
    Range: Short
    Chakra cost: N/a
    Description: The user enters 'Crane Form', a unique Kenjutsu stance in which the user utilizes 4 swords at the same time ; one in each hand, one in his mouth and finally one in the crevice between his leg and thigh.This causes the user to clench the sword,only standing on one foot giving him the look of a crane.This style has been compared to Killer B's Seven Swords Dance.While based off this style,Crane Form focus's much more on control and creating openings by attack the enemy on every level of height.To best utilize the styles potential, the user performs spins and jumps at high speed.The swords can be charged with Chakra to increase their cutting and attack power.
    Note ~ Can only be used Daiki and those taught to.

    ±± Pending ±± Leaving for Izanami
    Approved
    (Sanshouuo Yuukai) Salamander Fusion
    Type: Supplementary
    Rank: B
    Range:N/a
    Chakra Cost: 30
    Damage points:
    Description: The user performs the tiger handseal,as he does this the skin on the side of his neck begins to rumble.After a few seconds a set of Gills on each side erupts form beneath the skin allowing him to breath underwater.The user can take it a step further by webbing his hand and feet allowing him to swim extremely fast underwater although this renders him unable to use handseals until.
    Note:
    -Can only be used 3 times per battle
    -Must have Signed Axolotl Contract

    ±± Declined ±± Similar technique already exists
     
         
    Last edited by Nirvāṇa; 02-08-2012 at 03:47 PM.

  19. #5544
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    Re: ♦ Custom Jutsu Submission ♦

    (Jigoku no ringu)- Ring of Hell
    Type: Weapon
    Rank: A
    Range: Short-Long
    Chakra Cost: N/A
    Damage:
    Description: The user will wear a ring on his or her right hand. The ring is locked with a tremendous amount of chakra that only certain users may be capable of harnessing. The chakra is a different color then the normal blue it is a metallic color looking almost silvery. It is a black color though it is made from tungsten one of the strongest metals around.


    ±± Declined ±± Riiighhttt....and what does this do again? O_o What exactly are the abilities of this "Weapon"?
     
         
    Last edited by Scorps; 02-07-2012 at 01:09 PM.

  20. #5545
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    Re: ♦ Custom Jutsu Submission ♦

    (Raiton: Sono Ikazuchi Tentei Kusari) - Lightning Release: The Chains of lightning God
    Type: Attack
    Rank: S
    Range: Short-Long
    Chakra Cost: 40
    Damage Points: 80
    Description: During the battle user channels its lightning chakra as a long stream of thick chakra threads in the ground below him/her through his/her feet. These threads stay in the ground until the user manipulates them to tear the ground, coming out instantly as lightning chains and wrapping both legs of the opponent to shock them or restrict their motion. An additional chain could be manipulated to stab the opponent when he/she is fully tied up. These chains could be called between 3 turns. If they are not manipulated within 3 turns the chakra connection with the chains is lost and the chains die without even inflicting any harm.
    Note:
    ~ This jutsu lasts for 3 turns before activation.
    ~ Can be used 3 times per battle.
    ~ Can only be taught by -Blizzard-

    ±± Declined ±± Although i have a similar technique in essence, my main concern is the bolded part. It can happen as a normal attack through the ground but staying there for 3 turns so you can use is too much. Besides, were are the restrictions? If this is an S-Rank, restrict accordingly.

    (Raiton: Sono Ikazuchi kiji) - Lightning Release: The Lightning Cloak
    Type: Defense
    Rank: A
    Range: Short
    Chakra Cost:30
    Damage Points: N/A
    Description: User channels lightning chakra in his/her hands. He then claps and separates his/her hands from each other creating a long cloak that could easily cover users body. The clock is a mesh of strong tight lightning bonds which are not harmful to the user whose chakra is used. He can then use this cloak to protect him from other jutsus by wrapping it around him or the jutsu. This cloak is super effective against earth style technique which are A-Rank or below, It can tear the earth into molecular level but it disappears after it is used once.
    Note:
    ~ Can defend the user from A-Rank or below Earth jutsus which are of reasonable size, not huge boulder but rocks, spikes, small earth weapons.
    ~ Can be destroyed by B-Rank Wind Jutsu.
    ~ Will disappear after used once.
    ~ Can only be taught by -Blizzard-

    ±± Declined ±± How long does it last while activated? Size? Explain the bolded part...molecular level? what is the purpose? Also, the way its written means it can be used multiple times... A-Rank needs to be restricted to 3-4 uses depending on technique.

    (Fuuton: Sono kaze kiji) - Wind Release: The Wind Cloak
    Type: Defense
    Rank: A
    Range: Short
    Chakra Cost:30
    Damage Points: N/A
    Description: User channels Wind chakra in his/her hands. He then claps and separates his/her hands from each other creating a long cloak that could easily cover users body. The clock is a mesh of strong tight wind bonds which are not harmful to the user whose chakra is used. He can then use this cloak to protect him from other jutsus by wrapping it around him or the jutsu. This cloak is super effective against lightning style technique which are A-Rank or below, It can tear the lightning into molecular level but it disappears after it is used once.
    Note:
    ~ Can defend the user from A-Rank or below Lightning jutsus; such as: waves, thunder or bolts etc.
    ~ Can be destroyed by B-Rank Fire Jutsu.
    ~ Will disappear after used once.
    ~ Can only be taught by -Blizzard-

    ±± Declined ±± Look at the above technique and my notes apply for this one as well.
     
         
    Last edited by Scorps; 02-07-2012 at 01:15 PM.

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    Re: ♦ Custom Jutsu Submission ♦

    (Raiton: Inazuma Ningyō) - Lightning Release: Lightning Puppet
    Rank: B
    Type: Supplementary
    Range: Short-Mid
    Chakra Cost: 25
    Damage Points: -
    Description:
    • After the user has puppet strings connected to their puppet, they will perform 3 hand seals (Ox → Snake → Hare). Once that's done, the user channels lightning chakra through to their puppet using the chakra threads as guides. The puppet becomes infused with the lightning jutsu, becoming an electric entity of sorts. They are infused with the lightning like any old weapon would be, but stays with the puppet. For three turns, the puppet's movements become much faster than usual, nowhere near the level of opening Gates. It's movement speed from using this technique is approximately twice the speed of the average human. The speed also affects jutsu the puppet uses, increasing the speed of it's weapons, making them harder to avoid.
    Notes:
    • Must know Puppet jutsu
    • Cannot be used with puppets such as Hiruko, Sasori (as Sasori) etc.
    • For keeping the puppet's integrity together, this can only be used three times a match.
    • The move's intensity requires a two turn cooldown period after it ends.
    • Can only be used by those Alternative allows

    ±± Declined ±± I just checked one or two pages behind a technique very very similar in effect to this one, submitted by Black Uchiha.

    (Furubodi no Chakura Tate) - Full Body Chakra Shield
    Rank: S
    Type: Defensive
    Range: Short
    Chakra Cost: 45
    Damage Points: -
    Description:
    • This is a greater version of the Chakra Shield technique. The user controls their puppet to seperate the entire body, and mechanically form the shape of a target, or some other shape to cover a wide area. From there, the user forces chakra into the puppet, forming a shield using the full body of the puppet. The shield itself is made up of completely pure chakra, and can withstand any and all ninjutsu, or elemental attacks up to S-Rank. The shield can also protect the user from any physical blows up to B-Rank.
    Notes:
    • Must know Puppet Jutsu
    • Because of it's intensity, can only be used twice a battle, but only once per puppet.
    • The puppet starts to fall apart from the force of the move, and can only last one turns after this technique is used. After the one turn, the puppet cannot be used for the remainder of the match.
    • Can only be used by Alternative and those he allows.

    ±± Declined ±± As Izuna has stated many times before, normal chakra (unless highly condensed and shape manipulated in advanced forms, which isn't the case of a puppets chakra shield) is weaker than Elemental Chakra of the same rank. So this would block only A-Rank elemental techniques unless you can make it so that the form its shapped is very very advanced and dense enough to do so. However, that isn't the shield of a puppet.
     
         
    Last edited by Scorps; 02-07-2012 at 01:20 PM.

  22. #5547
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    Re: ♦ Custom Jutsu Submission ♦

    (maru-o-chakra)- circle of chakra
    Type: Attack/Defense
    Rank: S-Rank
    Range: Short-Mid
    Chakra Cost: 40
    Damage points: 80
    Description : This is a sword based technique which requires use of 2 katana he holds each in one of his respective hands and quickly pass his chakra in them and when they are charged by chakra he quickly stretches his has hands at an 90 degree angle opposite to each other and quickly take 360 degree turn and release the chakra concentrated in his sword in a semicircular shape this can block any technique of equivalent rank or can be simply used to attack an opponent by that chakra
    ~can only be taught by gitanshu~
    ~no S ranks and kenjutsu based techniques in the same turn ~
    ~can only be used thrice~

    ±± Declined ±± Hyuga Kaiten rip off using swords. Also, elemental chakra beats raw chakra.
     
         
    Last edited by Scorps; 02-07-2012 at 01:21 PM.

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    Re: ♦ Custom Jutsu Submission ♦

    Quote Originally Posted by Jonathan Cheong View Post
    Feel free to edit anything which you feel needs to be edited ^_^
    Weapon- (Ransadōru Verude)-Green Lancer
    Type: Attack
    Rank: A
    Range: Short-Mid
    Chakra Cost: 30
    Damage Points: 60
    Description: The Green Lancer is a double-sided lance. (Picture is on the right) The Green Lancer is made of very tough iron, and cannot be broken easily. The ends of the weapon is extremely sharp, and can pierce through human bodies with almost no effort. The greatest ability of this "weapon" is that Nel can throw this lance with great force at the opponent in battle. If Nel focus her chakra into the weapon and throws it at the opponent, The Green Lancer will travel at extreme speeds towards the opponent. The catch is that, as the Green Lancer travels through the air, it starts to spin and build up energy. The energy is pink in colour and the Lance continues to build up momentum and power. When it hits the opponent, it acts as a drill and it inflicts extreme piercing damage. Due to the power it got from all the spinning, the Green Lancer is able to pierce through B-rank defences and below. It can travel up to mid-range and it will return to the user after being thrown

    - Can only be used or allowed by me
    - If allowed, the person cannot use this weapon against me in a battle
    - There is a cooldown of 2 turns before you can throw the weapon with great force again.

    I know the translation isn't completely accurate, but I couldn't find any translation.

    ~Declined~ Restrictions are off. Such a technique need to be restricted to a certain number of use per match.
    ~Resubmitting~

    Added a restriction

    Weapon- (Ransadōru Verude)-Green Lancer
    Type: Attack
    Rank: A
    Range: Short-Mid
    Chakra Cost: 30
    Damage Points: 60
    Description: The Green Lancer is a double-sided lance. (Picture is on the right) The Green Lancer is made of very tough iron, and cannot be broken easily. The ends of the weapon is extremely sharp, and can pierce through human bodies with almost no effort. The greatest ability of this "weapon" is that Nel can throw this lance with great force at the opponent in battle. If Nel focus her chakra into the weapon and throws it at the opponent, The Green Lancer will travel at extreme speeds towards the opponent. The catch is that, as the Green Lancer travels through the air, it starts to spin and build up energy. The energy is pink in colour and the Lance continues to build up momentum and power. When it hits the opponent, it acts as a drill and it inflicts extreme piercing damage. Due to the power it got from all the spinning, the Green Lancer is able to pierce through B-rank defences and below. It can travel up to mid-range and it will return to the user after being thrown
    - Can only be used or allowed by me
    - If allowed, the person cannot use this weapon against me in a battle
    - Only usable three times a battle
    - Has to wait a cooldown of 2 turns before you are able to throw it again

    ±± Declined ±± What is this energy you speak of? raw chakra? How does it return? wire? can it simply fly back to your hand? explain that a bit better. Also, the resctriction I bolded isn't a jutsu resctriction. Its a restriction you put onto the ones you allow to your your technique. To the jutsu itself, its pointless. And, don't forget, you still need to decide if this is an attack using that lance (which in that case means the lance should be submitted as a CW) or if this is the CW in itself.

    ~New~

    (Raiton: Senkou Raikouya)- Flash Lightning Arrow
    Type: Attack/Supplementary
    Rank: A
    Range: Short
    Chakra Cost: 30
    Damage Points: 50
    Description: User would perform the hand seals; Monkey>Tiger>Boar and then form a lightning sphere of chakra on the user's palm. When in short-range, after performing the necessary hand seals, the user would raise his forearm up slightly, pointing diagonally up-backwards, and do a forward-like motion while having his fingers pointing directly at the target. The sphere of chakra would be released in the form of a highly flashy lightning arrow, that is extremely bright. This is only part of the technique; Whilst the arrow is not as powerful as normal A-ranks, it has a second function. As the lightning arrow makes contact with the opponent, or his counter, it would cause the electrons in the lightning arrow to split apart, forming an extremely bright field of electricity. The brightness can blind opponents momentarily, before the technique fades. It is a good diversion. One can also choose to perform a single hand seal, which would cause the same effect. This technique can only be performed in close-range.

    ~ Can only be used/taught by me
    ~ Arrow travels at a fairly fast speed
    ~ Can only be used three times a battle
    ~ Must have a three turn cool down period
    ~ Blinding lasts for about 1-2 seconds only

    ±± Declined ±± Similar techniques already exist...plenty of them
    __________________________________________________ __

    (Raiton: Shokkingu Tama; Amimono no Raikou)- Shocking Sphere; Web Of Lightning
    Type: Attack/Defence
    Rank: A
    Range: Short/Mid
    Chakra Cost: 30
    Damage Points: 60
    Description: User would focus electrical energy in their palms, and perform the following hand seals in the following order; Monkey>Dog>Dragon. The user would shoot out a shocking sphere of lightning at the opponent, which would travel at a fairly fast speed towards the opponent. The sphere of lightning is enough to completely paralyse an opponent and cause severe injuries. However, there is a second part to this technique. With a single hand seal, namely Horse, the user can control the electrons in the sphere to seperate and quickly, in a split second, form a web of lightning that has a large span over a wide arc. The web of lightning is rather big and wide, and has small little patches between the whole web. The holes are not too big, so even rather small attacks might not be able to slip past it. The web is strong enough to withstand an A-rank attack, or 2 B-rank attack, or 4 C-rank attack and or 6 D-rank attacks. However, minuscule attacks can slip past the web with little to no damage.

    ~ Can only be used/taught by me
    ~ Can only be used three times a battle
    ~ Must have a three turn cool down period

    Feel free to edit in anything which you see fit. ^_^

    ±± Declined ±± Look at the first part, does it expand after it hits? Or before? also, explain the second bolded part. Take into account the elemental weakness and strenghts.
     
         
    Last edited by Scorps; 02-07-2012 at 01:28 PM.

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    Re: ♦ Custom Jutsu Submission ♦

    Quote Originally Posted by Alucard View Post
    Tenmyaku Kisatsu: Senga Jinkei ♦ Killing the Spirit of the Divine Pulse: Keen Fang of Divine Might
    Rank: A
    Type: Attack; Taijutsu
    Range: Short
    Chakra Cost: 30
    Damage Points: 60
    Description: Senga Jinkei is a close-quarter combat technique, in which the user joins their fingers next to the middle one. Then he pushes their fingers into a certain target at a very high speed, leaving a wound similar to a bullet wound, making swords or similar weapons unnecessary. Because the user concentrates all of his body weight and power into his needle-like finger tips and because the area of contact is so small, this technique has incredible penetrating power, being capable of piercing through swords or even strong walls made of wood or earth [up to B-rank] which aren't of great density. Tough it's more frequently used with a single finger, the user can use his whole hand for a wider wound/hole on his target.
    ____________
    Restrictions:
    ♦ Usable three times per battle
    ♦ For reference and better understanding of the technique:
    http://i998.mangareader.net/gamaran/...an-2871423.jpg
    http://i995.mangareader.net/gamaran/...an-2871427.jpg

    ~Declined~ Piercing through a sword O__O That's a bit too much. The rest seems fine.

    Iai Heki ♦ Bursting Draw Technique
    Rank: S
    Type: Attack
    Range: Short
    Chakra Cost: 40
    Damage Points: 80
    Description: The user places his hand on the hilt of his sword and at the same time flows a great amount of chakra into it. This will cause the sword to burst trough the scabbard, while at the same time, the user performs a swinging motion. Because the scabbard is suddenly destroyed due the great amount of chakra flowing through the blade of the sword, the user doesn't need to perform a drawing motion before slashing the opponent. A slash is immediately made from the point where the user holds his sword, thus, making this technique even faster than other drawing techniques. Also, the massive flow of chakra running through the blade of the sword, adds to its cutting power, making it at the same time, a strong technique.
    ♦ Usable only by a samurai biography
    ♦ Usable twice per battle
    ♦ No Iai/Iaido techniques next turn

    ~Declined~ Great technique again, but tell me, how can you use this technique twice if you destroy the scabbard in the process?
    Removed piercing through sword part.

    Tenmyaku Kisatsu: Senga Jinkei ♦ Killing the Spirit of the Divine Pulse: Keen Fang of Divine Might
    Rank: A
    Type: Attack; Taijutsu
    Range: Short
    Chakra Cost: 30
    Damage Points: 60
    Description: Senga Jinkei is a close-quarter combat technique, in which the user joins their fingers next to the middle one. Then he pushes their fingers into a certain target at a very high speed, leaving a wound similar to a bullet wound, making swords or similar weapons unnecessary. Because the user concentrates all of his body weight and power into his needle-like finger tips and because the area of contact is so small, this technique has incredible penetrating power, being capable of piercing through even strong walls made of wood or earth [up to B-rank] which aren't of great density. Tough it's more frequently used with a single finger, the user can use his whole hand for a wider wound/hole on his target.
    ____________
    Restrictions:
    ♦ Usable three times per battle
    ♦ For reference and better understanding of the technique:
    http://i998.mangareader.net/gamaran/...an-2871423.jpg
    http://i995.mangareader.net/gamaran/...an-2871427.jpg

    The scabbard of the sword is destroyed, but if i hold more sheathed swords, i could use it once again on any one of them I'm submitting it again, with the same restrictions because of that reason, though if you think it should be reduced to one use only, feel free to edit please^^

    Iai Heki ♦ Bursting Draw Method
    Rank: S
    Type: Attack
    Range: Short
    Chakra Cost: 40
    Damage Points: 80
    Description: The user places his hand on the hilt of his sword and at the same time flows a great amount of chakra into it. This will cause the sword to burst trough the scabbard, while at the same time, the user performs a swinging motion. Because the scabbard is suddenly destroyed due the great amount of chakra flowing through the blade of the sword, the user doesn't need to perform a drawing motion before slashing the opponent. A slash is immediately made from the point where the user holds his sword, thus, making this technique even faster than other drawing techniques. Also, the massive flow of chakra running through the blade of the sword, adds to its cutting power, making it at the same time, a strong technique.
    ♦ Usable only by a samurai biography
    ♦ Usable twice per battle (one usage per different sword, as the scabbard gets destroyed)
    ♦ No Iai/Iaido techniques next turn

    ±± Both Approved ±± Good job!

    Iai Nimakkou ♦ Two Fronts Drawing Method
    Rank: S
    Type: Attack
    Range: Short
    Chakra Cost: 40
    Damage Points: 80
    Description: This is a tricky Iaido technique, which can be divided in two steps. The first step, is composed by a blast of chakra with great cutting power (equivalent to A-rank), which is released from the sword, as soon as it is unsheathed. The second step is the actual cut the user performs on the opponent, after drawing the sword, which can be compared in strength to Mifune's technique when he split Ibuse's head wide open. If the user has mastered Iaido and because of the speed at which Iaido techniques are performed, both the chakra blast and the slash the user performs, can hit the opponent virtually at the same time. The versatility of this technique is that, although the chakra blast moves in a straight line, hitting the opponent on a determined area, the cut the user performs, can be done in a different place and at a different angle, making it seem the opponent is hit by two different attacks, following different trajectories at the same time, while in fact, everything is done in one single motion.
    ♦ Usable twice per battle
    ♦ No Iaido techniques above A-rank next turn.

    ±± Pending ±± Leaving this one for Izanami

    Approved
     
         
    Last edited by Nirvāṇa; 02-08-2012 at 03:45 PM.

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    Re: ♦ Custom Jutsu Submission ♦

    Quote Originally Posted by Selendrile View Post
    (Bakuton: Kibaku Shiroi Ne no Ki)- Explosion Release: Explosive White Root tree
    Rank: B
    Type: Offensive/Defensive
    Range: Short/Long
    Chakra cost: 25
    Damage Points: 40
    Description: The user will put a single hand in their side pouches filled with clay, and begin to mold and shape it. Then, they will release the explosive clay into the ground, keeping it connected to his hand, where they are able to grow a single explosive clay tree anywhere on the battlefield. The explosive clay tree has a circumference of eight feet, and is around twelve feet tall. Its roots also extend into the ground ten feet deep, and ten feet in any direction of the tree. At any time after the explosive clay tree has been created, it can be detonated by performing the Tiger hand seal, and by yelling, "Katsu!". Blast radius covers the area short range around the tree.
    *Note: Must have a Deidara biography
    *Note: Can only be taught/used by Selendrile
    *Note: Usable three times per battle
    Declined this is not a B rank level technique and should be higher ranked
    (Bakuton: Kibaku Shiroi Ne no Ki)- Explosion Release: Explosive White Root tree
    Rank: A
    Type: Offensive/Defensive
    Range: Short/Long
    Chakra cost: 30
    Damage Points: 60

    Description: The user will put a single hand in their side pouches filled with clay, and begin to mold and shape it. Then, they will release the explosive clay into the ground, keeping it connected to his hand, where they are able to grow a single explosive clay tree anywhere on the battlefield. The explosive clay tree has a circumference of eight feet, and is around ten feet tall. Its roots also extend into the ground ten feet deep, and ten feet in any direction of the tree. At any time after the explosive clay tree has been created, it can be detonated by performing the Tiger hand seal, and by yelling, "Katsu!". Blast radius covers the area short range around the tree.
    *Note: Must have a Deidara biography
    *Note: Can only be taught/used by Selendrile
    *Note: Usable twice per battle

    Up one rank, down to two times per battle.

    ±± Approved ±±

    Quote Originally Posted by Selendrile View Post
    (Katon: Kaen no Tenjō)- Flame Ceiling
    Type: Offensive
    Rank: B
    Range: Mid/Long
    Chakra Cost: 25
    Damage Points: 50
    Description: Performing one handseal, the user creates a 4x4 foot, flat square wall of flame above the opponent. Then performing another hand seal, the flame ceiling will then drop down sixteen pillars of flame (16sq. ft) quickly, similar to the bars on a cage. This technique is used as a cage, but because of the heat of the flames, the opponent may suffer highly serious burns due to the proximity of the flames.
    *Note: Can only be taught by Selendrile

    ~Approved~
    (Katon: Bureizu no Kēji o Sakujo)- Dropping Blaze Cage
    Type: Offensive
    Rank: A
    Range: Mid/Long
    Chakra Cost: 30
    Damage Points: 60

    Description: Performing two hand seals, the user creates a 10x10 foot, flat square wall of flame above the opponent. Then performing another hand seal, the flame ceiling will then drop down twenty pillars of flame (5 on each side) quickly, similar to the bars on a cage. This technique is used as a cage, but because of the heat of the flames, the opponent may suffer highly serious burns due to the proximity of the flames.
    *Note: Can only be taught by Selendrile
    *Note: Usable two times per battle
    *Note: No other fire techniques to be used on the same turn

    Update on Technique:
    Up one rank, slight description alteration, added a usage restriction

    ±± Approved ±± Added a restriction

    (Bakuton: Hakucho-nushi no kureimanto)- Explosion Release: The Clay Cloak of the White Butterfly Lord
    Type: Supplementary
    Rank: A
    Range: Short
    Chakra Cost: 30
    Damage Points: N/A
    Description: The user will place both hands into their side pouches filled with clay, and then release the clay from their palms onto their entire body. After the clay layer fully encases the body, the user will retract it, forming a white cloak that is split into four sections at the waist. The cloak is incredibly effective at blocking physical attacks, having the ability to fully block B-rank and lower taijutsu and kenjutsu techniques. This is due to the density of the cloak, and the the ability to absorb heavy impacts. Even the momentum from attacks is slowed, leaving only a small transfer of energy to the actual user's body. Being partly earth based, it it also very resistant to water, having the ability to fully defend against water A-rank and lower. However, due to its natural weakness to lightning, a direct B-rank attack will destroy the cloak. The user will also experience increased speed of 1.25x, due to the aerodynamic cloak.
    *Note: Must have a Deidara biography
    *Note: Can only be taught/used by Selendrile
    *Note: Usable twice per battle; Lasts for 4 turns
    *Note: Can block up to 2 techniques total, before it begins to crack and fall away; (Any mix of Tai/Ken/Suiton)



    ^ I do not want to increase the rank of this technique, so please include in your critique how I can make it approvable if its not, for an A-rank technique.

    ±± Declined ±± Let me see if i understand: you are encasing yourself in explosive clay that then transforms into a cloak which you intend to use for protection from impacts and jutsu while making you faster by making you more aerodynamic? O_o Take the increased speed part. Reword the first part i bold and make it simpler.
     
         
    Last edited by Scorps; 02-07-2012 at 09:06 PM.

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