View Poll Results: How did you like the finish?

Voters
2. You may not vote on this poll
  • It sucked.

    0 0%
  • Its good, but you can do better.

    2 100.00%
  • It's great cant wait for the next.

    0 0%
Results 1 to 4 of 4
  1. #1
    King Cobra's Avatar
    Status
    King Cobra is offline
    Gender
    Join Date
    Jan 2012
    Posts
    4,869
    Location
    Viva La Kumo!!!!!!!
    We're here.
     



    COTC Chapter finale: The Beast within (18)

    Hello peeps and here it is finally my Chapter finale! Fans of this fic get ready because this will be a hell of a finish. I also must say this is the end of me writing in script style I know not many people are fans of it. Well in my defense I started this as a noob and the script style was easier. I know I still make my mistakes and I'm still learning, but one day I'll be just as good as the others.

    If you missed the last part(s) here they are:

    Chronicles of Tiquan Conley Chapter 1 Finale: The beast within.

    It was a peaceful day in Casselberry, Florida(outskirts of Orlando) the sun was bright and it had to be at least 87 degrees out, everyone was out enjoying the day, however little did the people know this will be the most tragic day in the history of the city.

    ???: Lord Orochimaru, the boy attends South Seminole Middle School. (SSMS)

    Orochimaru: Thank you Kabuto, but we need to make a stop first.

    Kabuto: Yes my lord.

    Kabuto and Orchimaru head towards their destination.

    12:30 pm SSMS Cafeteria

    After a long day of training and, studying Tiquan and, his friends, decide to attend the last lunch period of the day. Tiquan, Dominic, and Stanton enter an already crowded cafeteria.

    Tiquan: C'mon man it's the last week of school ain't nobody ever at this lunch.

    Stanton: We just caught it on a bad day.

    Dominic: Stanton's right at this time on the last week this is usually empty. It's cool let's just find a seat and wait for the lines to get shorter.

    Tiquan: Alright.

    Tiquan, Dominic, and Stanton sit down at a table talking amongst each other until the lines get shorter.

    Stanton: Line 4 is open lets go.

    The boys get up and head for line four when they get there they were met by Lorimar, Casey, and Larry. Tiquan and Casey enter an immediate stare down

    Casey: Tiquan.

    Tiquan: Oh hey Lorimar, and Larry.....oh hey Casey.

    Lorimar: Stop it guys. You're acting like kids.

    Tiquan: -laughs- You tell this dude, I don't know his problem with me. I only do it for competition.

    Casey: You know exactly what my problem with you is.

    Tiquan: Still on this I see, oh well.
    Tiquan walks away to get his lunch.

    Casey: Hey don't walk away from me!

    Tiquan: I really don't feel like doing this now, how about we just all eat lunch together.

    Casey: I guess that will work for now.

    The six receive there lunch and then sit at a table.

    Stanton: So what are you guys doing for the summer.

    Tiquan: Imma go down to Bradenton.

    Dominic: I'm gonna be here for the most part but I might go visit my grandparents up in Michigan.

    Larry: I'm going to Miami, you know to visit.

    Stanton: Oh yes that school, for swordsman is down there isn't it? Have fun. Imma go visit my family in Puerto Rico.... Casey, Lorimar what are you guys doing?

    Casey: Me and Lorimar are going on a cruise.

    Tiquan: Really? Wow sounds great.

    Lorimar: Yeah life's to short, you gotta enjoy it while it last.

    Tiquan: Amen to that.

    Tiquan: Hey -lifts up juice carton(Tiquan is lactose intolerant)- Cheers to a great summer and all of us being together again for another year!

    The other six children lifted up there cartons, some milk some juice.

    All: Cheers
    They all chugged their respective drinks down.

    BOOM!

    There was an explosion in the northern most corner of the cafeteria. A huge mass of debris filled the corner and started to spread.
    Kids were running, coughing around everywhere while teachers where trying to guide other to safety.

    Stanton: The hell was that?

    Tiquan: This feeling, it's the same as before. It can't be!!! Y'all stay here I'm gonna check it out.

    Tiquan ran into the debris.

    Lorimar: Where are you?!?!?! Guys stay I'm going after him!

    Casey: - grabs Lorimar's arm- I'm coming with you.

    Lorimar: No stay. Tiquan and I are the best fighters here..........I'll be back.

    Lorimar then softly kisses Casey lips, she then runs into the debris after Tiquan.

    Lorimar: Tiquan!!!!

    Tiquan: I thought I told you to stay back, it's dangerous leave!

    ???: I see you brought a friend.

    Tiquan's eyes widen in fear

    Tiquan: -Whispers- I-It can't be......Orochimaru!

    Lorimar: Who?

    Tiquan: Lorimar get out of here now!

    Orochimaru: Why Tiquan if she wants to play, let her play.
    He said as he licked lips.

    Lorimar eyes showed nothing but fear.
    Lorimar: Th-th-th-ththth-THAT'S OROCHIMARU!!!!!

    Tiquan: Lorimar leave, this isn't a fight you can win.

    Lorimar: And you can!?

    Tiquan: I've fought him and Kabuto before.

    Lorimar: Kabuto is alive too? How?

    Orochimaru: It's quite simple after the war me and Kabuto just simple absorbed the DNA of Madara and Obito......it's lasted us quite a long time.

    Tiquan: Where is Kabuto?

    Orochimaru: He's picking something up for me. However while we're here how about you reconsider that offer I made last time.

    Lorimar: Enough!

    At the very moment Lorimar activated her lighting aura, and charged at Orochimaru.

    Tiquan: Lorimar, Don't!!!!!

    Orochimaru just looked at here with a sick smile.

    Lorimar jumped into the air and delivered a wicked clothesline to Orochimaru, he then went back flying towards a wall.

    Lorimar: See Tiquan told you. Let me handle this.

    Orochimaru: Let you handle what.

    Lorimar face was full of shock, you couldn't understand how Orochimaru survived that.

    Orochimaru: Your strong little girl but you die here!

    Orochimaru then pulled out his sword, Kasanagi and then chucked it at Lorimar.

    Tiquan was about to react but before he could, a white blur passed by him.

    ???: Nooo!

    Tiquan looked up and then his eyes started to tear up.

    Tiquan: Medic!!!!!!

    Lorimar: C-Casey.

    There Casey was shielding Lorimar's body with Kasanagi pierced into his chest.

    Lorimar: I-I told you to stay back.

    At that very moment Kasanagi withdrew from Casey's back and went back to Orochimaru. Casey fell forward and was caught by a medical Shinobi

    Lorimar: Is he gonna be alright.

    Medic: We have to see......I advice you to leave before you end up just like this or worst.

    The medic then ran as fast as he can back to the infirmary.

    Lorimar's face was red with anguish. She activated her lightning aura to a new level, a level never seen before Lorimar was at her most powerful state.

    Lorimar: I'm gonna f*ck you up!!!!!!!!

    Lorimar then charged Orochimaru at full speed, however she was soon immobilized.

    ???: Chakra dissection blade!

    Kabuto stood there with a young boy on over shoulder smiling.

    Orochimaru: Kabuto you're late.

    Kabuto: I'm sorry my lord he wasn't really corporative.

    Tiquan then took a good look at the boy on Kabuto's shoulders and saw it was no one other than his own brother, TZiah.

    Tiquan: Let him go!

    Kabuto: Oh what are you gonna do about it?

    Orochimaru: Kabuto watch it, remember what happened last time.

    Kabuto: He just got a couple of lucky shots in that all....this time won't be so easy.

    Tiquan's anger boiled, his figured changed a bit and his voice was a bit more menacing.

    Tiquan: You let Tziah go right now!!!!

    Orochimaru: Oh look Kabuto you brought the beast out.

    Kabuto: -hmp-

    Tiquan charged Kabuto, with decent speed. Kabuto then put Tziah's body in front of his own, as a human shield, which immediately stopped Tiquan in his tracks.

    Tiquan: Fight me like a man!

    Tiquan anger was to a boiling point. Such a point that bright red bubbles were surrounding him.

    Orochimaru: Kabuto, the time for play is over....finish him off.

    Kabuto then put Tziah down however at that moment Tiquan met him with a right.

    Kabuto: When did he become so quick?

    Kabuto then rubbed his face and felt the blood.

    Kabuto: No I won't let you beat me this time!
    Forbidden Jutsu....

    Orochimaru: Kabuto! Not now.

    Kabuto: No this kid will not defeat me this time.......I know exactly who to summon too.
    Forbidden Jutsu: Reanimation

    An casket rose from the ground beneath and then the top came off.....upon seeing the person who came out Tiquan was full with anger.

    ???: It's been a while Tiquan.

    Tiquan: W-W-Wayne.........you brought back Wayne!? You f**king bastard I will kill you!!!!!

    Let me show them your true power

    Tiquan: My true power?

    Yes your true power....together we are unstoppable!

    Tiquan: Yes...Yes!

    mwhahahahaahaha

    A huge chakra shroud Surrounded Tiquan.

    Orochimaru: Kabuto, it's time to go our time is done here.

    Kabuto: No.....I'm gonna kill him here and now.

    Orochimaru: You may have the powers of a sage, but you are still a naive child.... You have 5 minutes and then I'm leaving.


    Kabuto: -hmp- this kid won't defeat me again! Hurry up you hear me? Or I'll kill your brother and your cousin.

    The chakra shroud soon disappeared, and Tiquan was there no more. A strong-looking beast, with four tails and slick red skin, suddenly appeared out of nowhere. It gave out a deafening roar so loud it could be heard from the heavens.

    Orochimaru: -slight chuckle- It seems that Tiquan is not the only one who want to play.

    The beast extended is claw towards Kabuto but Wayne was there to intercept it, puncturing him in the chest. Wayne's wound soon recovers though.

    Lorimar: T-Tiquan is that you.

    The beast slightly turned its head and looked at Lorimar and roared, it then turned its attention back to Kabuto.

    Kabuto: You're willing to attack anything and everything in your aren't you?
    Release!

    Kabuto then released the reanimation technique and just like that Wayne went back inside his coffin and was gone.

    Kabuto then picked up Tziah's unconscious body.

    Kabuto: Come at me full throttle kill your own brother!

    The beast then rushed towards Kabuto. Kabuto again used the body as a human shield as the beast charged him. The beast then upped his claws back to attack and then lunged foward.......blood was splattered everywhere.

    Lorimar: T-T-Quan

    Lorimar stood there extremely wounded with a claw in her chest. Tears filled her eyes as she stared into it's eyes.

    Orochimaru: Kabuto...Now!!!!

    Kabuto: Right!

    Kabuto throw a smoke bomb in which it covered the entire cafeteria, when the smoke cleared Lorimar and Tiquan where found unconscious on the ground.

    On the outskirts of Casselberry

    Orochimaru: Kabuto, that was a close one.

    Kabuto: I almost had him, you should've let me finish him.

    Orochimaru: You have much more to learn my friend.

    The two traveled for about 5 more minutes until they met up with someone.

    ???: Did he fall for it?

    Kabuto: No your he was much less cooperative than you, just as you said he would be.

    ???: -hmp- Figures he's a difficult one.

    Kabuto: He is.

    ???: Now where too?

    Orochimaru: This way. Kabuto get rid of that body it's serves no more use to us.

    Kabuto: Yes my lord.

    Kabuto threw Tziahs unconscious body to the ground......there was a puff of smoke......laying there was the body of a dead child.

    SSMS infirmary

    There were so many people in and around the infirmary that it was hard for the medical Shinobi/konichi to work......Tiquan laid in a bed in the furthest corner no one around except family. He slowly awoke.

    Shara: -whispers- Oh thank god your awake we have to get you out if her......

    ???: You F**king monster you killed her!!!!

    Mr. Diaz came running towards Tiquan as soon as he saw he was awake. Members of the media and staff soon followed.

    Tiquan: Killed her? What are you talking about?

    Mr. Diaz: Now you wanna play stupid huh? I will kill you!

    Mr. Diaz soon pulled a kunai from his back pocket and started to run towards Tiquan but he was soon stopped by Tiquan grandfather, Darnell.

    Darnell: There will be no killing today.

    Mr. Diaz: Your grandson is a monster, yet you still protect him?

    Tiquan: What's going on here?

    Shara: Let's just go home we'll explain everything there.

    Mr. Diaz: Why there? Why not here in front of the whole world? Your son is a monster and he killed my daughter!

    Tiquan: Lorimar's dead? I'm I'm sorry.

    Mr. Diaz: You're the one who killed her, and you saw your sorry? I'm not buying it.

    Tiquan: Um I would never kill Lorimar. Can someone tell me what happened!? Ah I have a headache now.

    Mr. Diaz: Just leave I don't ever want to see you around her again if I do, I won't hesitate to kill you.

    Tiquan: I'm sorry for your lost.

    Tiquan and his family left the infirmary pretty quickly on there way out the were surrounded by the media and were paraded with questions, when Tiquan took a quick glimps to the left he saw all of his friends Surrounding a body, the body was covered but he can see the blood stains, Casey was on his kness crying so it must have been Lorimars body.

    Home

    Tiquan: Can someone explain to me what going on please?

    Shara: First off can you tell us the last thing you remember?

    Tiquan: Yeah Kabuto and Orochiamru ambushed me trying to get me to join them. Kabuto summoned Wayne. And the had Tziah! Is he ok?

    Shara: No they took him.

    Tiquan: Dammit!

    Shara: Calm down.

    Tiquan: Why should I?

    Shara: Anger is what triggers it?

    Tiquan: Triggers what?

    Shara: You see technically you did kill Lorimar and you didn't.

    Tiquan: What are you saying?

    Shara: It's not easy to say but.....

    Larry: Look you remember the stories we told when you were a kid? The ones about the tailed beast?

    Tiquan: Yes, but why are we talking about legends at a time like this?

    Darnell: Because, it's not a legend.

    Tiquan: What are you saying?

    Darnell: I'm saying you are the Nine tailed jinchuriki!

    Authors Notes
    Ok damn it about time right? Chapter 1 is finale done! It took forever! Sheesh. Ok first I thank yall my readers without y'all comments and positive feed back i would never had made it this far. So thank you thank you thank you thank you again. Oh and if you're wondering on when Chaptwr 2 will makes it debut, look for it around Late January and early Febuaury. Well that's all for now. Please dont forgot to answer the question in the poll be honest and please give me some feed back. I hope y'all enjoyed and I hope I kept you interested, thank y'all again and I'll see you in the future.
     
         
    Last edited by King Cobra; 01-09-2013 at 08:07 AM.

  2. #2
    Member Serapis Bey's Avatar
    Status
    Serapis Bey is offline
    Gender
    Join Date
    Jan 2013
    Posts
    60
    This user has no status.
     

    Re: COTC Chapter finale: The Beast within (18)

    Who are the people you're talking about ?
     
         

  3. #3
    I am an amazing Friend Yuka's Avatar
    Status
    Yuka is offline
    Gender
    Join Date
    Aug 2011
    Posts
    6,311
    Location
    United states
    i'm not feeling well
     



    Re: COTC Chapter finale: The Beast within (18)

    i thought it was a pretty decent fanfiction in my opinion
     
         

  4. #4
    Zidane Tribal Uxellius's Avatar
    Status
    Uxellius is offline
    Gender
    Join Date
    Jul 2012
    Posts
    3,466
    Location
    In my hideout planning to kidnap a princess
    This user has no status.
     

    Re: COTC Chapter finale: The Beast within (18)

    Wow it was simply awesome I liked the battle vs Orochimaru:scorps:
     
         

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •