Some advice

[Unbiased King]

So last summer, I had a retail job. I was at the cashier when a familiar customer with his 4 year old son comes in. When ever he comes, he always likes to tell jokes and what not, so I thought I'd bang the first joke out this time. Big mistake.

When he came to the counter, he only brought one item, so I got the idea to joke and say "Just one item? You aren't stealing are you?" The man was Hispanic and thought that I was being prejudice in accusing him of stealing in front of his son, he did not realize I was trying to joke with him. I felt really bad making him feel like a criminal and have since then stopped joking with customers or people I don't know well in general.

When I reflect on what happened, I can't help but feel that the situation made me antisocial; I start to feel awkward in conversations with people and fear shedding some humor because I don't want that situation to reoccur. I went from being voted most sarcastic and funny in my yearbook to dry-humor guy just because I don't want to hurt people's feelings if they get offended.

My question to NB: Should I continue to obsess over what I say with others or should I careless about whether or not they get offended unintentionally?

[YowYan]

It was one mistake ;p Just be alert the next time ^^

But I can relate to you getting anti-social over a bad memory.

[Wang]

This kinda thing happens to me every day, but I'm usually doing it intentionally...so you should probably continue to obsess

[November Nolove]

So last summer, I had a retail job. I was at the cashier when a familiar customer with his 4 year old son comes in. When ever he comes, he always likes to tell jokes and what not, so I thought I'd bang the first joke out this time. Big mistake.

When he came to the counter, he only brought one item, so I got the idea to joke and say "Just one item? You aren't stealing are you?" The man was Hispanic and thought that I was being prejudice in accusing him of stealing in front of his son, he did not realize I was trying to joke with him. I felt really bad making him feel like a criminal and have since then stopped joking with customers or people I don't know well in general.

When I reflect on what happened, I can't help but feel that the situation made me antisocial; I start to feel awkward in conversations with people and fear shedding some humor because I don't want that situation to reoccur. I went from being voted most sarcastic and funny in my yearbook to dry-humor guy just because I don't want to hurt people's feelings if they get offended.

My question to NB: Should I continue to obsess over what I say with others or should I careless about whether or not they get offended unintentionally?

He is mentally retarded

[Unbiased King]

It was one mistake ;p Just be alert the next time ^^

But I can relate to you getting anti-social over a bad memory.

Thanks. I'm not the type to be hateful or rude so you could imagine how much this has flip-flopped my life.

Yeah? What happened?

[Skarlet]

Accidents happen.
They simply misinterpreted what you said, you didn't purposely try to offend them.

[Unbiased King]

This kinda thing happens to me every day, but I'm usually doing it intentionally...so you should probably continue to obsess

But I feel it's holding me back socially to the point where I'm afraid of making a joke.

[Unbiased King]

He is mentally retarded

I guess he has his own insecurities for whatever reason.

[Jonesy161]

Don't worry about what you say to guests. The thing is, whether you said something offensive or you're the nicest person in the world, you will always have the 1 angry guest trying to get you in trouble. You might as well just enjoy it in your own way. There's a lot of things I've said back when I was an employee behind the cash wrap that people you think would have took offense to what I said but actually thought it was funny such as a woman who spilt some water in front of me and I said "damn lady, you don't have to get wet when you see me."

Point is, world is changing and you don't need to worry about it so much. Also, if you want to progress further, corporate jobs are big on how out spoken you are now a days. They want people who can project their voices, who can make the crowd love them, even if they say something offensive. I would know since that's how I still act and it hasn't stopped me. I still work in the same retail areas, but as a Director today. If I had to thank any of my qualities for making it so far, I'd have to say it's my courage to say those things that others would be to scared to mutter! :P

[Unbiased King]

Accidents happen.
They simply misinterpreted what you said, you didn't purposely try to offend them.

Thanks, this is what I've realized lately.

[yahiko24]

He is mentally retarded

lol!

[Voltron]

shit son....
ummmm... I've pissed off lots of people in my life. the best thing to do is to admit to yourself that you have made a mistake and move on

[Unbiased King]

Don't worry about what you say to guests. The thing is, whether you said something offensive or you're the nicest person in the world, you will always have the 1 angry guest trying to get you in trouble. You might as well just enjoy it in your own way. There's a lot of things I've said back when I was an employee behind the cash wrap that people you think would have took offense to what I said but actually thought it was funny such as a woman who spilt some water in front of me and I said "damn lady, you don't have to get wet when you see me."

'd. How did that situation turn out?

Point is, world is changing and you don't need to worry about it so much. Also, if you want to progress further, corporate jobs are big on how out spoken you are now a days. They want people who can project their voices, who can make the crowd love them, even if they say something offensive. I would know since that's how I still act and it hasn't stopped me. I still work in the same retail areas, but as a Director today. If I had to thank any of my qualities for making it so far, I'd have to say it's my courage to say those things that others would be to scared to mutter! :P

Thank you for your input. You're right, being outspoken is almost a necessity today in all spheres of life.

[Unbiased King]

shit son....
ummmm... I've pissed off lots of people in my life. the best thing to do is to admit to yourself that you have made a mistake and move on

Thanks. I guess people will always get offended somehow or another.

[Wang]

But I feel it's holding me back socially to the point where I'm afraid of making a joke.

Take baby steps, joke w/ small animals & work your way up

[Jonesy161]

'd. How did that situation turn out?

She laughed hard and my manager at the time had her lower jaw hanging in disbelief for what I said. Then after lady left, my manager asked how I wasn't slapped by that lady at all.

[Voltron]

Thanks. I guess people will always get offended somehow or another.

no problem. You always have to accept that. I have.

[Unbiased King]

Take baby steps, joke w/ small animals & work your way up

Yeah I'll see what the roaches in my kitchen think about my jokes. :L

[Unbiased King]

I understand you, I once killed a man because of a practical joke. You just have to move one.

O_o Wow what happened, if I may ask?

[Kurama999]

Basically you need to - is to understand your customer.
For example;
A customer walked in and
*you never see the customer before, just ask him/her - "Sir,can i help/assist you"
*you do see him a few time before, try to remember what did you or he do, make him happy
many others way to know and how to deal with the customer - this should be company-training.
If the customer act and talk not the same as other, follow his style.

Note: First Impression IS very important. Greet with EYE to eye contact (with a simple smile), do not look away. For me this is my way to know people. Face to Face is the FIRST Contact. If had contact with the customer, say over the phone; in person - do the eye to eye technique. I read this somewhere very long time ago. It works for me.
Whether he is your customer or your friend's friend, both is the same.

One good example in this Naruto manga Chapter 492.
See what and how Bee greet, but unfortunately Naruto did not response in the same way. This offended Bee.

About this issue, Kishi had given one useful HINT.
Remember when all the tailed-beast use the fist to fist contact; they gave part of their chakra to Naruto.
Same as where Kurama give his chakra to Kakashi & Guy.
Also when Naruto had finished taking control of some Kurama's chakra, Bee and Him did the fist to fist contact. Both understand what had happened, which make Yamato angry.
And The fight between Sasuke and Naruto, Naruto then said something, which only both understood.
Interesting .......

[Jellal Fernandes]

It's Whateves.

[Unbiased King]

Basically you need to - is to understand your customer.
For example;
A customer walked in and
*you never see the customer before, just ask him/her - "Sir,can i help/assist you"
*you do see him a few time before, try to remember what did you or he do, make him happy
many others way to know and how to deal with the customer - this should be company-training.
If the customer act and talk not the same as other, follow his style.

Note: First Impression IS very important. Greet with EYE to eye contact (with a simple smile), do not look away. For me this is my way to know people. Face to Face is the FIRST Contact. If had contact with the customer, say over the phone; in person - do the eye to eye technique. I read this somewhere very long time ago. It works for me.
Whether he is your customer or your friend's friend, both is the same.

One good example in this Naruto manga Chapter 492.
See what and how Bee greet, but unfortunately Naruto did not response in the same way. This offended Bee.

About this issue, Kishi had given one useful HINT.
Remember when all the tailed-beast use the fist to fist contact; they gave part of their chakra to Naruto.
Same as where Kurama give his chakra to Kakashi & Guy.
Also when Naruto had finished taking control of some Kurama's chakra, Bee and Him did the fist to fist contact. Both understand what had happened, which make Yamato angry.
And The fight between Sasuke and Naruto, Naruto then said something, which only both understood.
Interesting .......

I know how to handle customers, I've always waited for them to make the first move. However what made my situation different was that I already knew the guy; he came often, we joked often.

For whatever reason, (maybe he wasn't in a good mood) he didn't think lightly of my joke.

[Dredd]

Sigh...Where are emotes in the RL when you need them

[Unbiased King]

Sigh...Where are emotes in the RL when you need them

I was smiling when I said it, even added a sarcastic tone, and he still got offended. :l

[Unbiased King]

I told him to look over there and then I stabbed him in his neck and afterwards had sex with his daughter, it was a hilarious joke.
I wish you could've seen his dead face hahaha, those were the good old days.

Sounds legit.