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  1. #1
    Brainiac Misana's Avatar
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    Why Heskey is superior to Messi

    Nagatomaniac reminded me of this:

    Heskey has never missed a penalty, Messi has
    Heskey has 61 caps for England, Messi has 0
    Heskey has scored 7 goals for England, Messi has 0
    Heskey has scored 100+ goals in the Premier League, Messi has never scored in it
    Heskey undoubtedly has a larger **** than Messi
    Heskey is black, Messi isn't
    Heskey's feet are size 15, Messi's are a tiny size 10
    Emile's shots go out for throw-ins, Messi's don't
    Heskey's ***** is sexier than Messi's *****
    Heskey misses a lot because he doesn't want to upset the goalkeepers feelings, Messi just scores all the time because he's a ****
    Heskey has played in more World Cups than Messi
    Emile has played for more clubs than Messi, meaning he is more versatile
    Heskey has been bought for bigger transfers fee than Messi ever has
    Heskey quite clearly has a better haircut than Messi
    Messi played **** in the Champions League Semi Final against Chelsea, Heskey didn't
    Heskey has never had a bad game in La Liga, Messi has
    Heskey weighs much more than Messi, making him the better man
    Heskey's head is infinitely bigger than Messi's
    Messi is one ugly little ****, whereas Heskey even gives straight guys a boner
    Heskey can play without Xavi and Iniesta
    Heskey changes clubs regularly, as he wants to give everyone a chaUnce with his brilliance, Messi just stays at Barcelona
    Heskey has better strength, heading accuracy and aggression on FIFA 12 (the only attributes that matter)
    Heskey has played more times in the Euro's than Messi
    Messi has never made a girl orgasm, Heskey does by simply staring into a womens eyes
    Heskey's middle name is 'William Ivanhoe', which is far better and cooler than Messi's middle name 'Andrés'
    Heskey has had **** managers such as Alex Mecleish and Steve Bruce, whereas Messi has had Pep Guardiola
    Heskey can play at Centre Back, Messi can't
    Heskey has more pubic hairs than Messi has goals
    Heskey hits his shots into row Z because he's a nice guy and wants to interact with the supporters
    Heskey has kids, Messi doesn't because he can't score off the pitch
    Messi earns more than Heskey, meaning he is greedier and therefore a prick
     
         

  2. #2
    YES! YES! YES! King Of Sharingan's Avatar
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    Re: Why Heskey is superior to Messi

    Is this soccer
     
         

  3. #3
    Whisteria Tiger rinnemaki's Avatar
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    Re: Why Heskey is superior to Messi

    Quote Originally Posted by King Of Sharingan View Post
    Is this soccer
    THE CORRECT WORD is football...

    anyways , this is getting old now dude , you need not remind us of Emile Heskeys omnipotence
     
         

  4. #4
    Senior Member Noobastank's Avatar
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    Re: Why Heskey is superior to Messi

    Messi is better in my opinion, but heskey is still beastly
     
         

  5. #5
    The White Demon Totsuka No Tsurugi's Avatar
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    Re: Why Heskey is superior to Messi

    well King heskey got robbed three times for the Ballon'dor by Messi
     
         

  6. #6
    Brainiac Misana's Avatar
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    Re: Why Heskey is superior to Messi

    Quote Originally Posted by rinnemaki View Post
    THE CORRECT WORD is football...

    anyways , this is getting old now dude , you need not remind us of Emile Heskeys omnipotence
    Indeed it's old, though still makes me laugh :ghehe:
     
         

  7. #7
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    Re: Why Heskey is superior to Messi

    I'm glad I did, 100% agree.
     
         

  8. #8
    Sydney's Halo Grim's Avatar
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    Re: Why Heskey is superior to Messi

    some people we're stupid enough to take this thread seriously?

    but IF we were to debate about who has and who's not

    Messi 4 time player of the year, has all the titles and probably makes more money in month then Heskey in his whole career :3
     
         

  9. #9
    ǝsɔoɹdııns Escorpiius's Avatar
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    Re: Why Heskey is superior to Messi

    Well, Heskey jokes and memes are really old; but that being said, I haven't heard much in past 3 years as before when it was a true rage.
    So, this did make me laugh.

    Though, Messi got a kid now -.- But Heskey, such a God!
     
         

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