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  1. #1
    Member Parakoopatv's Avatar
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    Naruto Revolution #1# Beginnings

    Life....Death....is decided by the past...When one decision is made, another is made.....Whoever who made their final decision.....will become their revolution.....This is a story of two people.....After a hard battle with Tobi and convincing Sasuke coming back......Will discover truths,...Secrets and Darkness.....They will taste Love, Happiness and Marriage, but also pain...regret and fear in their future........But the most important question is......Will they find their true Revolution.....or will darkness and death will rain upon them.....

    Let our Revolution.....Begins...

    *in Konoha, One year after the war,an Girl have appear on the front gates*

    Girl: So.....this is Konoha huh.......I wonder is "he" still here....

    Guy: Aki, set your things down and take a walk around the village....while i'll settle some business...

    Aki: Yes, Father...*left*

    *Meet Aki Homura, A women that have an caring personility and an angel from a village very far away others called the Village of Angels, She lost her Mother when she was young and have been suffering since her death and abuse from her father*

    *Meanwhile*

    Naruto: So Gaara, how long you going to stay here?

    Gaara: Probably about....three weeks maybe....

    *Here Ladies and Gentleman, is Naruto Uzumaki and Gaara, Naruto the Hero of the War has been praise alot and people decide he should be Hokage right away, but Shockly, Naruto turn it down "I'm not ready to be Hokage yet, I need to be alot stronger than before and be more intelligent, because everything from now on is the beginning", Gaara in the other hand, Have been really happy after the war, He still got that quiet and laid-back personility but in truth he is a very kind man*

    Naruto:*a little concern* is it okay for them to let you take three weeks off like that?

    Gaara: Naruto...A kage can't stress him or herself too much...... Suna realize i was getting a little stress from my duties....as Kazekage, so they decided i need a vacation....but i do not know what a vacation is exactly

    Naruto: *shock* You don't.....Seriously

    Gaara: is a Vacation like some meeting i attend to? or training?

    Naruto: Gaara Gaara Gaara......Let me teach you the true meaning of the word Vacation *push him*

    *They check a lot of stores and went to one store, Gaara was interest in*

    Naruto:*confuse* ehhh.....A Bakery?

    Gaara: yes....I heard this bakery is famous for its cookies

    Naruto: well...yeah it is...but why you want to go to bakery?

    Gaara: Naruto....What i going to reveal to you...is pretty shocking....

    Naruto: *really getting into it* FOR REAL!?!

    Gaara: *whispers* I like cookies.......

    Naruto: WHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAT!!......

    Gaara: *blush* don't tell anyone about this....

    Naruto: *smile* hehehe...Don't worry Gaara, my lips is seal! (Wow....a guy like him like cookies...that WAS pretty shocking....)

    *after getting some cookies*

    Naruto: *check the time* oh crap....Sorry Gaara, there someone i got to meet right now

    Gaara: Is it Hinata?

    Naruto: *shock* How the hell do you know.....

    Gaara: *eating cookies* I got my resources....

    Naruto: *still shock* wellll....ummmm...I GOT TO GO *run off*

    Gaara: I should probably go back to the inn and do some paperwork i take from the village...

    *then Suddenly He Notice a Girl who is his age, A black hair, blue eye girl walking him and then notice Gaara*

    Gaara: (That girl.....She look familiar...)

    Aki: (could it be him?) *walk to him* Hi..Are you Gaara?

    Gaara: *nervously* yes...i am....

    Aki: well then....here's my present to you...

    Gaara: wait...what do you me....

    *She kiss Gaara right on the lips*
    Aki: *blush* I be seeing you soon....Gaara *walk away*

    Gaara: *Shock and touching his lips*....Was that.....a kiss?

    And this....where our story begins of the Revolution....

    To be Continue...

    Next Episode: Past Reveals

    This my first Fanfiction koops.... hope you enjoy it....
     
         
    Last edited by Parakoopatv; 02-15-2013 at 04:08 PM.

  2. #2
    Senior Member roncato's Avatar
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    `David.
     

    Re: Naruto Revolution #1# Beginnings

    Amm..one question. Why do you make this?
     
         

  3. #3
    Member Parakoopatv's Avatar
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    Re: Naruto Revolution #1# Beginnings

    I like making fan-fiction and adding the 'what if" of it =3
     
         

  4. #4
    Future Presidente DoubleA49's Avatar
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    Writing some stuff... It's a
    surprise...
     



    Re: Naruto Revolution #1# Beginnings

    Another question: Naruto turning down the Hokage position, sounds strangely familiar to me...
     
         

  5. #5
    Member Parakoopatv's Avatar
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    Re: Naruto Revolution #1# Beginnings

    I've read your story (Awesome story by the way) and yeah we do have the same thing on....but what the hey...sometimes, people think the same thing...
     
         

  6. #6
    Senior Member Hori's Avatar
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    Stop worrying about the world
    ending today. It's already
    tomorrow in Australia.
     



    Re: Naruto Revolution #1# Beginnings

    Impressive work, please send me your future works also.
     
         

  7. #7
    Future Presidente DoubleA49's Avatar
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    Writing some stuff... It's a
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    Re: Naruto Revolution #1# Beginnings

    After rereading it, I must say: I like it. There are a lot of grammar errors, and sentence fluency could be worked on as well as description, but nothing story-wise.

    3.5/5 based on a factors which include

    Story (2/2)
    Grammar (0/.5)
    Longetivity (.25/.25)
    Description (1.25/2.25)
     
         

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