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  1. #1
    The Aspiring Writer ItachiLeeHatake's Avatar
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    Prodigies Reborn!: Chapter 2: An Unexpected Occurrence

    Previous chapters and such




    2
    An Unexpected Occurrence

    Naruto's mansion is located at the southern area of the Hidden Leaf Village and the Hokage's Mansion to the north. Being so, the walk to or from either mansion isn't that short of a trip.

    The three best friends stroll along, slowly approaching their destination.

    Keiko: At this pace, we'll get the lamest mission. You guys remember what objectives for the last D-rank mission we got were, right?

    Each of them make facial expressions of disgust.

    Minato: Ughhh, don't remind me. Scrubbing all the dog poo off the streets made me lose my appetite for an entire week. That's a big deal, considering that I even rival my dad's love for food.

    Keiko: Plus, being half Inuzuka and all, I have enough animal manure to dispose of at my house.

    Itachi: Don't worry, guys. I'm keeping tabs on Kuwabara and his minions. They're still around the Ninja Academy, probably bullying the students again.

    Itachi is one of the most talented sensors in all of Konoha, second only to Shindo. Even in densely populated areas, Itachi can sense a single person as long as he recognizes the presence of one's chakra.

    Minato: Iruka-sensei will handle those punks. Heck, even 6-year-old cousin, Hinari, can handle those guys!

    Minato, Itachi, Keiko: !!!

    They hear a rumbling sound from up the street. Villagers make way for whatever is causing all the ruckus. Something moves toward the three of them with incredible speed. As the villagers disperse, two green figures are revealed.

    Itachi: Oh no, these two are at it again. If we don't want to be turned into pancakes, we'd better get out of the way.

    Itachi, Minato, and Keiko leap inside a near-by barbecue restaurant. Moments later, two green blurs zoom by.

    Guy: Come on, Lee! You'll never surpass me at this rate! You've gotta explode with youth!

    Lee: Yes, sensei! No more holding back! Woohoo!

    Minato, Itachi, Keiko: Hey, Lee-sensei! Uncle Guy!

    By the time the three finished greeting the taijutsu masters, the taijutsu masters were already out of sight.

    Keiko: Geez, those two are fast.

    Minato: No kidding. Apparently, my dad is the fastest shinobi alive. But, it's hard to believe someone are faster than the Bushy Brows.

    Someone laughs from behind. The three of them turn their heads to see who it is. Choji demolishes ribs and steaks as easily as one would eat potato chips. A 4-foot stack of plates stands on his side of the table. Ino sits across from him, eating her food like a normal person. For the most part, they both look the same as when they were teens, only their clothes has changed. Looks aside, the two are now happily married with no children. Choji is still the leader of the Akimichi clan. Ino works as an interrogator, although she doesn't work often, because there has been a lot of peace and little crime.

    Choji: Hey, kids!

    Ino: Hey, you tweebs!

    The trio greet their elders.

    Choji: All rumors of Naruto's legendary skills aren't lies, Minato. Trust me, I've fought with him many times.

    Ino: Same for your dad, Keiko.

    Itachi looks down with a deep glare in his eyes.

    Ino clears her throat, ashamed for forgetting that Itachi doesn't know his parents.

    Ino: I'm so sor-

    Itachi: It's fine. I'm 16 now, I've got over that some time ago.

    Minato: Umm, we were on our way to visit Lord Konohamaru. We'll be going now. Enjoy your meals!

    They each exchange "byes".

    Minato rescues Itachi from an uneasy situation.

    Ino and Choji facepalm theirselves, embarrassed by their rudeness, although it was unintentional.

    Minato, Itachi, and Keiko head for the Hokage's Mansion once again.

    Minato: Are you alright, man?

    Itachi: Yeah, I'm fine.

    Itachi quickly change subjects. He doesn't like to think nor talk about his real parents; he holds a grudge to them for abandoning him.

    Itachi: Actually, I was worried about Aizu. He said he was having nightmares lately, I can tell that something is
    seriously bothering him.

    Minato: Yeah, we've got to get to the bottom of that. For now, I'm sure that Shindo is keeping an eye on him.

    Itachi lightly punches Minato on his arm and just like that, Itachi is back to his joyful self.

    Minato: Hey! You know I didn't mean it like that!

    Shindo is blind. A rogue Leaf shinobi slashed his eyes when he was just 3 years old, but doesn't hold the Hidden Leaf
    accountable. He was so young when it happened, so he doesn't even remember the days when he had sight nor his parents. Although he cannot see, his other senses are much better than most. Only 14 years old, he's even the best sensor in all of Konoha.

    Keiko: Guys, we're here.

    Minato: I hope we get something good!

    They enter the mansion, walk up the stairs, through the hall, and opens the door to the Hokage's office.

    Minato: Hey Lord Konoham-

    Two unfamiliar men stands in front of Konohamaru's desk. Only the back of their heads are visible. One has orange hair, the other has light blue. The Hokage's advisor, Shikamaru Nara, stands at Konohamaru's side. Tsunade stands in front of the man with orange hair, staring down at something or someone. The man with orange hair carries a woman in his arms, who seems to be unconscious.

    Orange-haired man: Tsunade-sama, can you heal her?

    Tsunade: I...cannot. Not even I can save her...She's...dead.

    Blue-haired man: Sh*t! We should've kept a better eye on her!

    Minato, Itachi, and Keiko are still by the door, completely speechless. Itachi drops to his knees. He has a blank glare in his eyes and his whole body trembles.

    Itachi: I...can...feel...it. She...is...was...my...mom.



    Author's Note
    Well, how you like this chapter? Getting intense enough for ya? :D
     
         
    Last edited by ItachiLeeHatake; 02-13-2013 at 09:39 PM.

  2. #2
    # KnullaMångaTräd -Carnage-'s Avatar
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    Haters gonna hate; Potatoes
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    Re: Prodigies Reborn!: Chapter 2: An Unexpected Occurrence

    wow D
    are you starting over with prodigies reborn? :crazy:
     
         

  3. #3
    テン Tenten テン Kárma's Avatar
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    It's the remix to ignition Hot
    and fresh out the kitchen Mama
    rollin that body got every man
    in here wishin Sippin on coke
    and rum I'm like so what I'm
    drunk It's the freakin weekend
    baby I'm about to have me some
    fun
     



    Re: Prodigies Reborn!: Chapter 2: An Unexpected Occurrence

    Alright seems good enough for my taste
     
         

  4. #4
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    Que rico...
     



    Re: Prodigies Reborn!: Chapter 2: An Unexpected Occurrence

    Sweet :D
     
         

  5. #5
    The Aspiring Writer ItachiLeeHatake's Avatar
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    Re: Prodigies Reborn!: Chapter 2: An Unexpected Occurrence

    Quote Originally Posted by -Carnage- View Post
    wow D
    are you starting over with prodigies reborn? :crazy:
    Yeah, I feel like I have to. I put little effort into it the first time.
    Quote Originally Posted by -6 Paths- View Post
    Sweet :D

    Quote Originally Posted by Saikyokage View Post
    Alright seems good enough for my taste
    Lucky for me. :D
     
         

  6. #6
    Senior Member Germanicus's Avatar
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    Re: Prodigies Reborn!: Chapter 2: An Unexpected Occurrence

    You're a bit minimalist on describing surroundings and your characters. In fact I haven't really seen any sort of description of your characters in your story. That is essential. I can't stress it enough.

    Characters need to have their image described, not only in general but also how their expression and demeanor changes as they carry out actions. Otherwise, we have only their words to go upon. For a manga that would be fine, as there are pictures. But for any story, you really must add proper descriptions to thing. Narration is the only way to properly compliment your story line and make it complete.
     
         

  7. #7
    # KnullaMångaTräd -Carnage-'s Avatar
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    Haters gonna hate; Potatoes
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    Re: Prodigies Reborn!: Chapter 2: An Unexpected Occurrence

    Quote Originally Posted by ItachiLeeHatake View Post
    Yeah, I feel like I have to. I put little effort into it the first time.
    kewl 8)
    im expecting great things lee
    no pressure D
     
         

  8. #8
    sagemode jinchuuriki's Avatar
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    Re: Prodigies Reborn!: Chapter 2: An Unexpected Occurrence

    Well that was a sad way to end the chapter
     
         

  9. #9
    The Aspiring Writer ItachiLeeHatake's Avatar
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    Re: Prodigies Reborn!: Chapter 2: An Unexpected Occurrence

    Quote Originally Posted by Germanicus View Post
    You're a bit minimalist on describing surroundings and your characters. In fact I haven't really seen any sort of description of your characters in your story. That is essential. I can't stress it enough.

    Characters need to have their image described, not only in general but also how their expression and demeanor changes as they carry out actions. Otherwise, we have only their words to go upon. For a manga that would be fine, as there are pictures. But for any story, you really must add proper descriptions to thing. Narration is the only way to properly compliment your story line and make it complete.
    Yeah I know, dude. I mentioned that in the Author's Note of the first chapter. I prefer this style of writing over the traditional. Though, I will be more descriptive if it's really that big of a problem.
    This story is more entertaining than it is professional. I appreciate the feedback nonetheless.
    Quote Originally Posted by -Carnage- View Post
    kewl 8)
    im expecting great things lee
    no pressure D
    And great things is what you guys will get. :D


    Quote Originally Posted by sagemode jinchuuriki View Post
    Well that was a sad way to end the chapter
    Yeah, sh*t just got real. Though, due to the characters' bright personalities, the story will always have positivity and humor.
     
         
    Last edited by ItachiLeeHatake; 02-13-2013 at 09:47 PM.

  10. #10
    Senior Member pandu's Avatar
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    Alrighty then!!!!!!!!!!
     

    Re: Prodigies Reborn!: Chapter 2: An Unexpected Occurrence

    Nice work.BTW great cliffhanger
     
         

  11. #11
    The Aspiring Writer ItachiLeeHatake's Avatar
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    Re: Prodigies Reborn!: Chapter 2: An Unexpected Occurrence

    Quote Originally Posted by pandu View Post
    Nice work.BTW great cliffhanger
    Thanks! Cliffhangers are my specialties.
     
         

  12. #12
    King Cobra's Avatar
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    Re: Prodigies Reborn!: Chapter 2: An Unexpected Occurrence

    Whoo!!!!! Speed running threw this I love this series glad its back :D
     
         

  13. #13
    Senior Member Hori's Avatar
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    I have a dream that someday
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    Re: Prodigies Reborn!: Chapter 2: An Unexpected Occurrence

    wow nice fiction, I ended up reading all of it well made
     
         

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