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    Senior Member Germanicus's Avatar
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    Iron Fist: Chapter 1.

    Author's note:
    This is a new Fan Fiction I just had an idea for today, needed something to write. Needed to write anything, I guess I should say. Anyway, this is set in the world of Naruto, before the founding of Kohonagakure, though not too long before. The emphasis I currently have placed is on the samurai and the land of Iron, and their possible involvement before the birth of the great ninja villages. I have taken some creative liberties, so I apologize if everything doesn't strictly adhere to the original story of Naruto. Also, many of the characters will be original; some familiar faces will find their way in, but most will be new. This chapter in particular will introduce new samurai characters. (Backstories I didn't go into deeply for this chapter. Those will be explored later.) Well, that's my two bits; thank you for your time, I hope you enjoy.


    The sun beamed down upon a lone court yard, radiant streaks of light cascading about the harsh, barren tundra that was known as the Land of Iron. The frozen wasteland comprised of rolling hills of crystalline ice and snow, with the looming behemoth of Three Wolves Mountain standing vigilantly in defense of the dreary fortress nature had crafted with the leftovers of its bounty. Torrential gales bit with icy fangs at the flesh of any who dared set foot upon these hallowed grounds, and to cease moving was synonymous with the ceasing of breathing. As cold and rigid as the metal it was named for, the nation was a solemn one, where death and dedication ruled hand in hand, encompassing the life of every man, woman, and child which called it home. None but the strong could live out their days here. As such, the only ones who dared to tread the frozen battlements of Three Wolves Mountain were the known masters of the military world, who were born and bred for battle, the elite warrior caste which had dictated the policy of the continent for hundreds of years.
    This was the land of the Samurai.

    On this particularly frosty morning, Kinoshinta Hideyoshi thought with a shudder driving itself clean through the marrow of his normally steadfast bones, the deadly facets of the countryside were nothing when compared to the people who occupied it. He thought this especially true as he watched the grandiose spectacle in the training yards below; crowds of burly young bulls of men jostled each other for spots by chalky white lines which divided up the boundaries of the fighting circles, while older, more dignified warriors stood back appraisingly, nodding at every good move made and cringing with each pass of the most minuscule error. The latter group also scratched their beards furiously and raised their eyebrows indignantly at each fresh body which threw itself into the ring which was being held in such high interest. The older ones all knew no matter whom entered they would all come back out beaten and bloodied by the undisputed master of these yards.

    Standing in the center of the largest white circle, one designed to be large enough to practice executing war maneuvers as a unit, stood a lean, well defined figure. Rounded shoulders and broad chest encased in ebony armor which glared subtly in the mid morning light, graying dark hair cut trimly above the top of his neck, the man stood impatiently as four new challengers entered the field and began to scheme with those already in combat against their veteran opponent. His face, though not wizened or blemished, but not young in appearance either, was drawn taut in stoic distaste. On the real field of combat, the lads set out to challenge him would be dead already. Never turn your back to the enemy. That was rule number one. (Or was it rule number two? He did tend to forget, occasionally. It was a rule. That was all that was important.) However, today was a day for greenhorns to take the field against their elders; let them plan, scheme, and strategize. They would need all the help they could get, he thought, not without a hint of guiltless pride.

    Off to the side, Kinoshinta shook his head in pity. The addition of the four fresh bodies led the number facing Sentinel (as the practiced hand in the ring was commonly known) put the count at thirteen to one. Thirteen men against one lone soldier! He scratched his chin, puzzled that an experienced hand like Sentinel would ever give fresh blood such an advantage during what was widely considered as a competence examination. In his high, earnest voice, Kinoshinta whispered commentary on the fight to himself.

    “Welp, looks like you’re in for it this time, chief…”

    “Don’t be too sure of that, lad.”

    Whirling with a start, Kinoshinta was surprised to see Shibata Katsuie, a giant of a man with a scraggly onyx beard hanging thick from his chin, monstrous war blade slung about his back. Bearing his own pearl white armor loosely over his large build, he grinned down at the young page. Measuring well over six feet tall, he towered over Kinoshinta. He let loose a deep, lumbering laugh, before crying out to the battle below. “Oi! Sentinel! The boss wants to see you, immediately! Finish playing around!”

    Sentinel looked up, face showing faint signs of disappointed exasperation. The thirteen young fighters took this as a sign of distraction, and, having surrounded him in a semi circle, abruptly charged their sensei. The youths cut quite the figure, when viewed with an amateur eye; well built men, encased in stunning white armor, bearing well crafted wooden swords and rushing gloriously into the fray. Two waves came in from the left and the right, three boys to each side, while the remaining seven waited momentarily, before lunging forward themselves, expecting Sentinel to meet one of the two initial groups or backing away in desperation.

    One of the men in the front of the forward charge found himself flying back into two of his fellows, as an obsidian blur flashed through the group farther back. Sentinel grinned as the two groups which had attacked from his flanks crashed into each other in their reckless hurry. Panicked and confused shouts rang through the air as the men became tangled and trapped by the collision of their groups.

    Whirling towards the remaining five warriors before him, thin training blade flowing like muddy water through the air, Sentinel slashed down the first man to his left, tossing aside the opponent like a rag doll. He immediately transitioned into a back thrust which slammed into the gut of an enemy sneaking from behind, leaving the man groaning in shocked pain on the ground.

    The remaining three had taken the time to form a human wall three feet away, each man standing shoulder to shoulder. Charging once more, each man stepped into a different aggressive assault; one thrusting, one slashing from the right, one chopping from above. Sentinel merely grinned and shook his head as his sword became a blur to meet the moves.

    They had forsaken the advantage of numbers by meeting him in a direct assault.

    He parried the thrust with a flick of his wrist, muscles not even tensing from the effort, lodging the other man’s sword in the path of the blades of the other two would be foes. The three novices ended up with their blades colliding just short of where Sentinel’s torso had been moments before.

    Black lighting flashed through the sky, Sentinel in his terrifying glory gliding fluently through the air above the three, and with a roar and a sweep of his training blade, the samurai were sent flying back several feet, hurtled onto their backs as bones were heard cracking and breaking. They remained there, moaning in agony at their humiliating defeat by only a single warrior, their pride scarred as much as their bodies.

    The men that had finally untangled themselves gazed on in horrified realization before dropping their blades and falling to their knees. Sentinel glared at them, aggravated by the ease of their surrender, before clicking his tongue, throwing his blade on the ground in disgust, and stalking out of the ring. As he passed Shibata, the two exchanged glances, and, each recognizing the competence of the other, nodded in respect. Kinoshinta merely glanced after him, wondering what summons could have interrupted the pace of the match.

    Training was sacred to the samurai; each man held honing his own skill as the highest of duties. One didn’t lightly end scheduled training.

    And if the Taisho was the one who called for it, something of vital importance was brewing in the upper echelons of the samurai world…



    Sentinel stalked through the dimly lit hallways of fortress. The faint orange embers of the candles guided him into the room of the highest general of the samurai, the Taisho. Exalted as a warrior among warriors, the current Taisho, Tsuneshige, was held to be the strongest who had ever commanded the samurai. Called the Grand Demon, he was found sitting in his crimson armor while pensively brooding over several papers of reports sitting at the head of his cluttered desk. The remainder of the room was equally messy, appearing to have been left in disrepair for quite some time.

    The Taisho, with his gray hair falling well over his shoulders and cavernous face drooping in weathered wrinkles, appeared like a defenseless, though gargantuan, old man. Any who took that estimate into battle shortly met their end. His dark black eyes met the green ones of Sentinel, and the two nodded before saluting to each other. Their work over the years together had established a sort of familiarity, and Sentinel was not held to stand on ceremony while in the old man’s presence. As such, pleasantries were also skipped.

    The dark eyes of the Taisho met Sentinel’s own green ones, and the two glanced at the papers in a moment of awkward silence. Before long, however, the Taisho tapped slowly on the top most one in a repeating bang, each time hitting his desk successively harder.

    “We…have been the veritable rulers of this continent for decades and a power for centuries.” His voice was cold and monotonous, a tinge as biting as the icy landscape they had been born of. “The samurai legacy is a legacy of respect of our military might. Our power, in return, has brought stability to the land. Bandits fear to so much as tread where our eye holds vigilant and the people prosper.”

    He paused, regarding the paper on his desk. “However…some have begun to call us…obsolete. Relics of bygone days, who are growing feeble in their old age. More suited to a rocking chair than the destrier, better with the pen than the sword.”

    He leaned forward and growled at Sentinel. “And I won’t stand for it! We are not some by gone era, ready for the world to bury at its leisure.”

    He fumed for a moment, his face turning scarlet in rage before he calmed himself and proceeded.
    “…I digress. What I have summoned you for is this; you are familiar with the weavers of jutsu, the shadow warriors, the so called…shinobi?”

    Sentinel nodded without hesitation, though not speaking. His face remained stolid and devoid of feeling. He had engaged in border skirmishes with several such groups before. Though mighty, they lacked any real organization, and therefore were never great in number. Still, a tinge of foreboding began to slide its way into the veteran samurai’s mind.

    Tusneshige continued on; “Very well then. Reports indicate that the shinobi have been rallying recently. Several of their clans have been warring for the past several years, and we have watched silently at the development of their conflicts. However, some of the clans seem to be forming…alliance. Grouping together. Almost…” the old general glared up at his soldier. “…as if they were trying to form a nation. You know as well as I do that if they succeed, the balance of power will be completely thrown asunder.”

    Sentinel did not respond at all this time; while he was an excellent warrior, he hadn’t stepped upon a battle field in over a decade. He was in his fifties now. In no definition was he a young man any longer. The turn this conversation was headed would most definitely not become pleasant.

    “Go to the south west, into the Land of Fire. Once there, you will find the rallying clans of shinobi and exterminate them. By any means necessary.”

    Sentinel barely held back a cringe. He hadn’t wanted to go to war any longer. He was content wasting his days away playing shogi and training the next reckless lad who would waste his life in a direct assault on a much more experienced enemy. He was done with war.

    He merely replied, in a completely unremarkable voice, neither high nor low, “what is the name of the clan you wish me to eliminate, lord Taisho?”

    The leader of the samurai smirked at the expected compliance, and pointed to a small symbol on the report; a double edged black spear, sitting horizontally across the page.

    “They are called the Senju…”
     
         
    Last edited by Germanicus; 02-15-2013 at 06:57 PM.

  2. #2
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    Re: Iron Fist: Chapter 1.

    Tekken
     
         

  3. #3
    Senior Member Germanicus's Avatar
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    Re: Iron Fist: Chapter 1.

    Quote Originally Posted by Okami the butcher View Post
    Tekken
    Nice fighting game series. But for once, this is a Naruto FF I wrote.
     
         

  4. #4
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    Re: Iron Fist: Chapter 1.

    Quote Originally Posted by Germanicus View Post
    Nice fighting game series. But for once, this is a Naruto FF I wrote.
    I was making a reference to fact that Iron fist in Japanese is tekken.

    When i saw your title it just instantly clicked.
     
         

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    Senior Member Germanicus's Avatar
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    Re: Iron Fist: Chapter 1.

    Quote Originally Posted by Okami the butcher View Post
    I was making a reference to fact that Iron fist in Japanese is tekken.

    When i saw your title it just instantly clicked.
    Huh, didn't know that. Nice little lesson.
     
         

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    Re: Iron Fist: Chapter 1.

    Quote Originally Posted by Germanicus View Post
    Huh, didn't know that. Nice little lesson.
    Indeed.
     
         

  7. #7
    Senior Member Chakra Wizard's Avatar
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    Re: Iron Fist: Chapter 1.

    I gotta say, man, you really are a good writer The descriptions you give of your setting and the overall atmosphere are on par with professional authors, in my opinion:D In regards to your plot, it's a rather interesting premise, man. ...But, why you gotta go and make the samurai bad peoples!?
     
         

  8. #8
    Senior Member Germanicus's Avatar
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    Re: Iron Fist: Chapter 1.

    Quote Originally Posted by chakrawizard555 View Post
    I gotta say, man, you really are a good writer The descriptions you give of your setting and the overall atmosphere are on par with professional authors, in my opinion:D In regards to your plot, it's a rather interesting premise, man. ...But, why you gotta go and make the samurai bad peoples!?
    Ah, but are they all bad people? Or, are you just jumping to an early conclusion. Wait and see; it's not going to be that black and white.

    Thanks for the compliment. You do the humble pen pusher one too many courtesies with your words. I'm nowhere near pro. I'll probably never be that good.
     
         

  9. #9
    Senior Member Chakra Wizard's Avatar
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    Re: Iron Fist: Chapter 1.

    Quote Originally Posted by Germanicus View Post
    Ah, but are they all bad people? Or, are you just jumping to an early conclusion. Wait and see; it's not going to be that black and white.

    Thanks for the compliment. You do the humble pen pusher one too many courtesies with your words. I'm nowhere near pro. I'll probably never be that good.
    *hippie accent* It's cause you don't believe, man. ...You gotta believe in yourself
     
         

  10. #10
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    Re: Iron Fist: Chapter 1.

    Sentinel can't actually hope to wipe out the Senju?

    Why didn't you tell me you wrote something new?

    What's worse is that I thought I was actually getting pretty good.....now after reading this.......my confident in my puny pathetic excuse for writing is shattered.

    This is so awesome! Keep me updated! PleASe!!!
     
         

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    Senior Member Germanicus's Avatar
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    Re: Iron Fist: Chapter 1.

    Quote Originally Posted by Uzumaki16 View Post
    Sentinel can't actually hope to wipe out the Senju?

    Why didn't you tell me you wrote something new?

    What's worse is that I thought I was actually getting pretty good.....now after reading this.......my confident in my puny pathetic excuse for writing is shattered.

    This is so awesome! Keep me updated! PleASe!!!
    Dude, your stuff is fine! Better than fine! It's awesome! Stop being so down on yourself.
    And yes, I'll remember to link you chapters on this one. Promise.
     
         

  12. #12
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    Re: Iron Fist: Chapter 1.

    Quote Originally Posted by Germanicus View Post
    Dude, your stuff is fine! Better than fine! It's awesome! Stop being so down on yourself.
    And yes, I'll remember to link you chapters on this one. Promise.
    Cool. :scorps: I can't wait. I guess my stuff is ok .
     
         

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    The Devil's Advocate Shinobi Train's Avatar
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    Re: Iron Fist: Chapter 1.

    As always, good stuff. Not going to point out errors and such, no point, all I'm going to say is you still need to focus on that editing process; it's not just mistakes either, a lot of times you'll find yourself re-wording sentences and that alone makes it golden. Oh, your paragraphs are a tad long though, I think five lines is the max and four is best, or at least that's the rule I have for myself since it seems optimal. ^_^

    The old wizard is right though, you're at pro level...if only you'd just learn the way of the editing and revising. It actually makes me just a little bit mad at you; you're so good, but held back by this one thing and if you'd simply force yourself to improve in that area you'd be a master. >.>
     
         

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    Re: Iron Fist: Chapter 1.

    I can understand his laziness though
     
         

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    The Devil's Advocate Shinobi Train's Avatar
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    Re: Iron Fist: Chapter 1.

    Quote Originally Posted by Uzumaki16 View Post
    I can understand his laziness though
    Editing is my favorite part though. >.>
     
         

  16. #16
    Senior Member Germanicus's Avatar
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    Re: Iron Fist: Chapter 1.

    Quote Originally Posted by Shinobi Train View Post
    As always, good stuff. Not going to point out errors and such, no point, all I'm going to say is you still need to focus on that editing process; it's not just mistakes either, a lot of times you'll find yourself re-wording sentences and that alone makes it golden. Oh, your paragraphs are a tad long though, I think five lines is the max and four is best, or at least that's the rule I have for myself since it seems optimal. ^_^

    The old wizard is right though, you're at pro level...if only you'd just learn the way of the editing and revising. It actually makes me just a little bit mad at you; you're so good, but held back by this one thing and if you'd simply force yourself to improve in that area you'd be a master. >.>
    I'm assuming that the parts where I'm being redundant is the beginning and/or part of the fight scene?

    I'm happy with para length right now though; I make them how long I feel they should be. No shorter, no longer. And frankly, I'm not going for grammatical perfection on the FF. My editing time is reserved for the main work. This one's just for fun to make sure I don't get rusty. So on this, I'll just try to get it right the first time.

    But I know, I need to improve my editing process...>.>

    Though how it's your favorite part is lost on me.
     
         

  17. #17
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    Re: Iron Fist: Chapter 1.

    Quote Originally Posted by Germanicus View Post
    I'm assuming that the parts where I'm being redundant is the beginning and/or part of the fight scene?

    I'm happy with para length right now though; I make them how long I feel they should be. No shorter, no longer. And frankly, I'm not going for grammatical perfection on the FF. My editing time is reserved for the main work. This one's just for fun to make sure I don't get rusty. So on this, I'll just try to get it right the first time.

    But I know, I need to improve my editing process...>.>

    Though how it's your favorite part is lost on me.
    See, you're still not understanding what I've been saying. EVERYTHING is practice...I take the time to edit my posts on this forum; I make sure my grammar is the best I can make it. Every time my hands are on the keyboard, I'm practicing. I'm trying to type faster, think faster, making sure my wording is understandable and I'm using the best wording I can. I'm honing every skill I have at all times, and yes, I go over everything, and after I make a post, I read it three or four times to look it over.

    Editing is my favorite part because this whole time I've been writing and creating the scene, so now I get to go back and watch that part of the movie. It's like when my brother and I were making a movie, we'd draw up the storyboards and actually animate them, then we'd watch that over and over again and find little things to tweak and mess with, or find things we don't like now that we see it. It's this grueling process that's really really f**king hard, that editing sh*t is a nightmare...but you don't care so much with a glass of rum and a bong to pack up every once in a while, now you're just chillin' and working on your stuff, that' hard sh*t is fun now.

    When you've felt the pain of the massive sleep loss, and you've been up for days. Your body feels like it's dead, your face is melting off and your eyeballs feel like they're being dipped in acid, but you're still sitting there tweaking this one little thing to get it just right because if it's wrong then it's really bad and none of your code works, the site just will not show up because you forgot the "/" on one line of text...you're screwed. When you take that determination level and apply it to something, you will always succeed, but if you half-ass the sh*t and aren't playing the game as best you can at all times, you fall off before you make it.

    Once you do make it though, then it just gets harder, but now at least you're making money and eventually you'll be through and just making sure it keeps working. You can't run a business with an employee attitude, you just can't, and that's how everything is in life. If you want to work like an employee, then go be an employee. If you want to own a business, then you have to force that thing to work no matter what. You can't start writing and think "oh, I'm only going to try hard on the things that matter more". Trust me doesn't work, this is a combined total of sixty-five years of experience talking, and it's saying that you can't make it like that.

    Bro hug?
     
         

  18. #18
    Senior Member Germanicus's Avatar
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    Re: Iron Fist: Chapter 1.

    Quote Originally Posted by Shinobi Train View Post
    See, you're still not understanding what I've been saying. EVERYTHING is practice...I take the time to edit my posts on this forum; I make sure my grammar is the best I can make it. Every time my hands are on the keyboard, I'm practicing. I'm trying to type faster, think faster, making sure my wording is understandable and I'm using the best wording I can. I'm honing every skill I have at all times, and yes, I go over everything, and after I make a post, I read it three or four times to look it over.

    Editing is my favorite part because this whole time I've been writing and creating the scene, so now I get to go back and watch that part of the movie. It's like when my brother and I were making a movie, we'd draw up the storyboards and actually animate them, then we'd watch that over and over again and find little things to tweak and mess with, or find things we don't like now that we see it. It's this grueling process that's really really f**king hard, that editing sh*t is a nightmare...but you don't care so much with a glass of rum and a bong to pack up every once in a while, now you're just chillin' and working on your stuff, that' hard sh*t is fun now.

    When you've felt the pain of the massive sleep loss, and you've been up for days. Your body feels like it's dead, your face is melting off and your eyeballs feel like they're being dipped in acid, but you're still sitting there tweaking this one little thing to get it just right because if it's wrong then it's really bad and none of your code works, the site just will not show up because you forgot the "/" on one line of text...you're screwed. When you take that determination level and apply it to something, you will always succeed, but if you half-ass the sh*t and aren't playing the game as best you can at all times, you fall off before you make it.

    Once you do make it though, then it just gets harder, but now at least you're making money and eventually you'll be through and just making sure it keeps working. You can't run a business with an employee attitude, you just can't, and that's how everything is in life. If you want to work like an employee, then go be an employee. If you want to own a business, then you have to force that thing to work no matter what. You can't start writing and think "oh, I'm only going to try hard on the things that matter more". Trust me doesn't work, this is a combined total of sixty-five years of experience talking, and it's saying that you can't make it like that.

    Bro hug?
    Thank you S. Train, that paragraph of attitude decimation I actually find very helpful. Okay, so maybe it was wrong to think I could just waltz in and write as well as I wanted because this was a side project.

    I will, will, will, will, will, will, will, WILL edit the next chapter. Thoroughly.

    Bro hug.
     
         

  19. #19
    ☛✯#Ghoulsquad✯☚ SasukeUchiha910's Avatar
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    Re: Iron Fist: Chapter 1.

    never do that/ tekken > naruto
     
         

  20. #20
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    Re: Iron Fist: Chapter 1.

    Quote Originally Posted by SasukeUchiha910 View Post
    never do that/ tekken > naruto
    It's not about god damn Tekken. I don't care if Iron Fist is what Tekken means in Japanese. I'll name my titles whatever the hell I want. If that's all you have to say, refrain from commenting.
     
         

  21. #21
    The Devil's Advocate Shinobi Train's Avatar
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    Smacking b*tch
    nigga's...>.>
     



    Re: Iron Fist: Chapter 1.

    Quote Originally Posted by Germanicus View Post
    Thank you S. Train, that paragraph of attitude decimation I actually find very helpful. Okay, so maybe it was wrong to think I could just waltz in and write as well as I wanted because this was a side project.

    I will, will, will, will, will, will, will, WILL edit the next chapter. Thoroughly.

    Bro hug.
    I'm only hard on you because you have a chance, you could actually do something great in literature, but not without the proper attitude. ^_^ You even have a better chance than I do at writing a book, but you'd need my brother's determination to do so, and it's all up to you to be that way.
     
         

  22. #22
    Rikudo Sennin ~Uzumaki~'s Avatar
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    The Lord is my light and my
    salvation; whom shall I fear?
    the Lord is the strength of my
    life; of whom shall I be
    afraid
     



    Re: Iron Fist: Chapter 1.

    Quote Originally Posted by Germanicus View Post
    It's not about god damn Tekken. I don't care if Iron Fist is what Tekken means in Japanese. I'll name my titles whatever the hell I want. If that's all you have to say, refrain from commenting.
    LOL!!!!!!!!!!
     
         

  23. #23
    Future Presidente DoubleA49's Avatar
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    Writing some stuff... It's a
    surprise...
     



    Re: Iron Fist: Chapter 1.

    Great story!
     
         

  24. #24
    Senior Member Germanicus's Avatar
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    Re: Iron Fist: Chapter 1.

    Quote Originally Posted by DoubleA49 View Post
    Great story!
    Preciate the read chap. Glad you enjoyed it.
     
         

  25. #25
    Senior Member Hori's Avatar
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    Stop worrying about the world
    ending today. It's already
    tomorrow in Australia.
     



    Re: Iron Fist: Chapter 1.

    impressive work. mark a true genious
     
         

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