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  1. #1
    Senior Member Germanicus's Avatar
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    The Mirage of Uchiha: Chapter 2-Fighting Retreat.

    Previous chapter: Chapter 1

    Author's Note:
    Alright, finally time for a new chapter. Again, shout out to Uzu for being the brain child and making this story possible. This is your success as well. Today's chapter is long, and as such I cut how far I went into the story. But I did my best to keep it moving. Hope you guys enjoy! (P.S. I've noticed quite a few people posting in the FF's lately just post "didn't read! Hurr hurr hurr!" If you are one of these, I'm considering you a troll who is spamming; you will be negative repped and reported. If you have nothing to say, don't say it. You have been warned.)

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    A piercing moment of heavy silence reigned over the small clearing. The sea of trees surrounding Obito Uchiha and Kakashi Hatake grew still as the two stopped in an attempt to catch their breath. Rin’s corpse rested about twenty feet off, still near the entrance of the cave, while the bloody cadaver of the Iwa ninja who had ruthlessly murdered her had fallen barely an arm’s length away from Kakashi. The young jonin panted heavily from the exertion of fighting a much more experienced opponent, resting on his haunches, streaks of crimson painted across his body.

    Obito had fallen upon his knees in exhaustion. His hands struck unbidden at his eyes; the Sharingan hadn’t yet returned to normal; the same abnormal, three pronged slash continuing to lurk there. The burning sensation had swelled into a veritable inferno within Obito’s skull, a million tiny needles stabbing and tearing through Obito’s brain. He moaned softly, rubbing his eyes desperately as though he could wipe out the pain of the sudden mutation like a mere speck of dust.

    Kakashi frowned at Obito’s writhing, standing slowly and walking over to his friend. His own wound had stopped throbbing some time ago, and he had finally managed to adjust to operating with only one eye; adaptability was essential to a ninja.

    That eye…that technique…

    He reached out a steady hand to the Uchiha and tried his best to appear and sound concerned, though he was always reluctant to show emotion on the battlefield. A dreadful sense of foreboding still perturbed him. The ocular jutsu he had just used, (he could tell it was ocular, as there’s no way the sudden transformation in the Sharingan was a coincidence.) whatever it was, not only was foreign in nature, but also seemed to damage the user himself. Whatever the jutsu was, it felt…wrong.

    “Obito…are you okay? C’mon, let’s get you back…”

    “Geraagh…get…get down!”

    Obito abruptly lunged toward Kakashi, the kunai which flew towards the back of his neck approaching almost completely unseen. He swears coarsely under his breath; no time, the kunai will strike him before Kakashi could budge an inch. Another friend would die…

    …no!

    Obito grasped Kakashi by the shoulders and once more tapped into the burning tension fluttering within his eyes. He heard Kakashi release a slow, almost terrified gasp as the air around them seemed to warp for a moment and dark shades of a pitch black sky that hadn’t been a part of their wooded surroundings moments ago echoed around them. As the distortion faded, the two appearing to return to normal form, the kunai slid silently through air. Right through Kakashi and Obito.

    The former wasn’t sure what startled him most; the fact that he had almost died, or the fact that the kunai had passed transparently through both of their bodies.

    A hellish pyre of flame and dislodged earth erupted outward, casting a furious shower of embers towards the two as the kunai, marked with a paper bomb, exploded next to Rin’s body. Bloated chunks of flesh flew in a shower of blood as the bomb further disfigured the once fair kuonichi. Obito continued to grab Kakashi’s shoulders, making the fire whisp through them as though the two were wraiths, simply spectators observing the carnage in ethereal fashion.

    As explosion subsided, Obito ran hurriedly to Rin’s body, not wanting it to be damaged any further, but stopped short as the pain in his eyes blindsided him, causing him to fall next to Rin’s corpse. He cursed under his breath once again; why was he so weak!? What had his resolve in the cave meant if his own power just leveled him regardless?

    Recovering from the unexpected assault, Kakashi whirled around to gauge the situation. His eyes went wide in alarm as a full troop of Iwagakure ninja lined the horizon. His face grew pale and he shook his head in frustration; twenty fresh enemy ninja against two exhausted and scarred youths. If Kakashi Hatake had believed in the idea of fairness, he would probably judge this as a situation that was more than a bit one sided.

    Running towards Obito, he frantically motioned with his hands in the direction opposite the large enemy host. “Run! Run Obtio! We have to get out of here!”

    Obtio struggled to his feet, wiping out his eyes one last time. Kakashi finally reached him, and grabbed him by the shoulder to lead him away. Obito gazed down at the body of Rin, and felt the suppressed feelings he had for her swell within him. Oh, the words that had died on his lips before he had even dared to utter them. The day dreams he had experienced during their time as teammates in which he could take on the world, and become the greatest ninja of all, with her radiant smile giving him the strength to move mountains.

    These men had stolen those dreams from him.

    A guttural, animal-like growl escaped unbidden from his mouth. With one hand he roughly tossed Kakashi aside. Hatake, tripping and falling onto the ground, glared up incredulously, as Obito stood defiant before the Iwa ninjas waiting for the cue to resume attack. His eyes flared ominously, those strange Sharingan seeming to glow with the burning hatred that flared across Obito’s face. Slowly the growl became words, as Obito staked his claims.

    “You…you bastards killed Rin…YOU WILL PAY FOR WHAT YOU’VE DONE!!”

    Obito, in his mind, took hold of the power of the sharingan, and lashed out with it. The foremost of the Iwa ninja, a tall blonde with a bulky figure, didn’t even have time to grow frightened as a vortex slashed around his head. Moments later, the body slumped over, with nothing but a bloody stump visible at his neck. Cries of shock and panic soon spread through the group of shinobi, as they huddled around their fallen comrade.

    “What the hell happened to him?!”

    “I have no idea! I-I’ve never seen jutsu like this!”

    “Wh-what are these brats?!”

    Obito, hunching over, grabbing at his eye once more, forced himself to remain upright. He still burned with rage, and refused to let go of the force he now held. Preparing to strike again, he yelled in savage triumph at the group.

    “Time for the next one!”

    Before he could launch his technique, however, a heavy hand bashed across his face, and Obito fell back. Kakashi stood, glaring sullenly at Obito. Snarling, Obito turned away to resume his assault before Kakashi grabbed him by the collar and forced him back around. Kakashi snapped at him before Obito could protest.

    “No! Nothing more, Obito! You’re liable to kill yourself using this jutsu, which you know absolutely nothing about, as its’ obviously giving you a huge amount of pain! Besides, there’s no way you can do that to all of the other nineteen! I won’t lose any more comrades today, Obito Uchiha!”

    The veil of fury which had hung about Obito lifted slightly at Kakashi’s words, and, reluctantly, the young Uchiha wiped the sweat from his raven hair and nodded. He ran over to Rin, grabbing what he could of her body and hoisting it upon his back. Kakashi began to shake his head in discouragement, but at a sharp glance from Obito decided to let his teammate bring the body. Pointing to the trees, the two bounded off as quickly as their legs could carry them.

    Meanwhile, the Iwa ninja had regrouped and sped after the escaping Leaf ninja. The fastest among them, a brown haired, rail thin ninja all but flew from tree to tree, easily catching up to the struggling Obito, who was slowed extremely by Rin’s corpse. His vision was fuzzy, as though the haze which had clouded his mind now descended upon his vision. He had no way of seeing the blade which approached as the Iwa ninja brought his blade towards Obito.

    Kakashi planted his legs on a tree and gave a strong push, ricocheting past his friend, drawing his saber and slashing to meet the enemy. The metallic clang of blades didn’t last, becoming a shattering screech as the Iwa ninja’s blade folded beneath the applied force, a faint chirping filling the air as Kakashi’s blade crackled with a blue lightning emitting from its sides. The pure energy flashing wildly across the muddy bark and through the emerald forest around them shone like the sun, dancing as Kakashi continued to draw his blade across the Iwa ninja’s throat. He looked back at the body, and felt a need to remind these men of what they had to fear. “…Chidori. The Lightning Blade.”

    Blood splashed across Kakashi’s hands and face as he whirled back around, attempting to continue their flight without further engagement. Obito, somber from realizing he had been utterly useless, muttered a light thanks but gazed concerned at the barely hazy form of Kakashi; he couldn’t outpace Obito anymore, and his feet occasionally stumbled across the branches they leaped over. He had fought the most that day, and the result was starting to rear its ugly head in the form of the exhaustion. He wouldn’t be able to fight for much longer. As such…
    “Kakashi, catch!”

    The white haired jonin almost fell from the trees as Rin’s dilapidated body landed on him. Swearing loudly, he shouted angrily at Obito, who was already forming hand signs to fight those pursuing.

    “Obito, you moron! What in the hell are you thinking!? You could have kille-“

    “Fire Style, Fire Ball!”

    Obito launched a giant blaze towards their pursuers, scorching trees (and one particularly unlucky squirrel) in its path. The Iwa ninja, expecting as much, all broke formation, laughing at the simple effort to deter them. The leader of the ninja, a burly man with dark hair and a pudgy face, raced towards Obito. His arm became encased in a layer of hardened stone, and with a piercing battle cry he struck for Obito, who had been forced to stop on a nearby branch as one of his legs had given out on him.

    Having no other options, Obito yelped and activated the dangerous new ability of his sharingan once more, the punch passing straight through him, only to find the Iwa ninja winding back for another blow with his other arm. Feeling his strength drained, he knew he wouldn’t be able to use his power again, and braced himself as best he could for impact.

    Kakashi, swearing once again, scrambled through his tool belt for a weapon he could use, and instinctively launched a kunai; an odd shaped kunai, with three points and strange symbols marked into it, given to him earlier by his master…

    As the kunai glided through the air, a bang rent the air as the kunai erupted into smoke. From the smog, a yellow flash zoomed directly into the Iwa ninja, milliseconds before he made contact with Obito. The Iwa ninja barely had time to register his own shock as an azure sphere of swirling energy slammed into his gut.
    “Rasengan!”

    The earth shook violently as the Iwa ninja was tossed like a rag doll to the ground below. The Iwa brigade immediately checked their pursuit; many of the ninja gazed on in horror, and some whispered muted prayers softly as, one by one, they pointed and backed away from the tall, slender ninja who had appeared. His blonde hair shone brilliantly in the afternoon sun light, his shoulders were drawn tight as he stood straight as the majestic oaks surrounding him. His cerulean eyes seemed to take the whole situation and account for every factor there within seconds. The Leaf headband which glinted across his headlight was adorned proudly above his strong face. He was a man everyone in the ninja world had grown to respect and fear.

    “T-th-the Yellow Flash!”

    Gazing over at Kakashi, he grinned light-heartedlly at his pupil. His cheery voice belittled the dire straits his students had found themselves in. He might as well be walking in on them scuffling during training.

    “Don’t worry…” he exclaimed with an understanding smile, “….my first day as a squad leader was pretty rough too. Oh, master Jiraya got so mad that day…”

    He bashfully scratched at his chin, before shaking his head and looking at Obito, beginning to speak before he made eye contact.

    “Good to see you made it Obito! Where’s Ri…”

    As he saw the body of his third, now ex, student, Minato Namikaze’s face became dark. Unbuckling a load of kunai, similar to the one thrown by Kakashi, he glared intensely at the Iwa ninja.

    “…alright then.”

    The cheer in his voice was gone, now replaced with thick and intense heat. The words were the last he uttered before the Iwa ninja decided to take their chance and charge. Minato merely shook his head calmly, launching a hail storm of kunai after kunai, with a short time interval at each one, holding one back for a weapon.

    “…sorry…it’ll be over in a flash, nothing personal…”

    To call it a fight would have been giving the Iwagakure ninja too much of a chance. Minato vanished in a yellow streak, flashing to where he had thrown his first kunai, slicing open the Iwa ninja’s throat with no hesitation. Flash; to the next kunai, a shruiken thrown into the one man’s forehead while the kunai ripped open another’s belly.

    The business of death was carried out swiftly; one by one, within thirty seconds, the battle cries turned to wails and shrieks as Minato cut through their ranks. A light shower of crimson rain began to fall steadily upon the ground, the forest floor flooding with small puddles of red life trickling from above onto the dead earth. The last Iwa ninja, panicked and outmatched, quickly formed hand signs, launching two jutsus in rapid succession.
    “E-Earth Style! Rock Blast! Earth Style! Stonewall!”

    As a giant boulder flew at Minato’s last kunai which was approaching his position, a wall of solid earth formed directly in front of the Iwa man. He grinned; there was no way that the Kohona ninja could…

    The sound of air whistling rang behind him. Turning his head to the side, the man’s eyes lit up in despair as another kunai floated right above his head and vanished, to become the Yellow Flash, who was holding the same blue ball, his face drawn taut in a growing, yet contained anger.

    “RASENGAN!”

    The sphere of energy expanded into a furious typhoon, which engulfed the Iwa ninja, laying waste to his wall and sending him through the middle of a tree. Splinters slashed at his body as he crashed through the oak, and a low startled scream was the last action he could make as the tree, split in half, crushed him underneath.
    Minato gazed about, panting in distasteful aggression, and shook his head.

    “On second thought…it was extremely personal.”
     
         
    Last edited by Germanicus; 03-03-2013 at 09:09 PM.

  2. #2
    Senior Member Chakra Wizard's Avatar
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    Re: The Mirage of Uchiha: Chapter 2-Fighting Retreat.

    I saw a few errors worth pointing out. First, near the end, you misspelled Konoha. Also, there's a few places where you forgot to put a space between the text and dialogue. Lastly, at one point, you say, "The swift and efficient business of death was carried out efficiently", which I'd probably replace with "Their deaths were carried out swiftly", just because 'efficiently' doesn't sound right, y'know what I'm saying?

    Other than that, it was well-written, man Nice job:D
     
         

  3. #3
    The Aspiring Writer ItachiLeeHatake's Avatar
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    Re: The Mirage of Uchiha: Chapter 2-Fighting Retreat.

    WOW! This is some amazing stuff. I love how realitic it is, as in gory and bloody. Besides Kakashi calling Obito "bud", you got their personalities spot on. And I love how you ended it with such a cool quote. Great job, man!
     
         
    Last edited by ItachiLeeHatake; 03-01-2013 at 11:33 PM.

  4. #4
    Senior Member Germanicus's Avatar
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    Re: The Mirage of Uchiha: Chapter 2-Fighting Retreat.

    Quote Originally Posted by chakrawizard555 View Post
    I saw a few errors worth pointing out. First, near the end, you misspelled Konoha. Also, there's a few places where you forgot to put a space between the text and dialogue. Lastly, at one point, you say, "The swift and efficient business of death was carried out efficiently", which I'd probably replace with "Their deaths were carried out swiftly", just because 'efficiently' doesn't sound right, y'know what I'm saying?

    Other than that, it was well-written, man Nice job:D
    God damn it, I was distracted today. Sheesh. I'm slipping. >.>

    Some places where the dialouge is single line though I don't always skip. Usually, but I tinker with it.

    I'm gonna try to edit it anyway, thanks for pointing all of that out. Preciate the read.

    You too ItachiLeeHatake. Preciate your input. 'Bud' isn't very Kakashi like, is it?

    Dang, today was a bad writing day.

    Man, I even had to fix some paragraph spacing. No more writing till tomorrow. >.>
     
         
    Last edited by Germanicus; 03-02-2013 at 12:08 AM.

  5. #5
    Senior Member pandu's Avatar
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    Alrighty then!!!!!!!!!!
     

    Re: The Mirage of Uchiha: Chapter 2-Fighting Retreat.

    Hey there! Just read ur FF.It was a great chapter.Loved the ending
     
         

  6. #6
    Rikudo Sennin ~Uzumaki~'s Avatar
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    The Lord is my light and my
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    Re: The Mirage of Uchiha: Chapter 2-Fighting Retreat.

    Alright, I think S. Train would be pleased to know that the crown still rests with you. Enjoy the pressure and expectations hahahahahahaha.

    Great stuff man. ^_^
     
         

  7. #7
    Senior Member Germanicus's Avatar
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    Re: The Mirage of Uchiha: Chapter 2-Fighting Retreat.

    Quote Originally Posted by Uzumaki16 View Post
    Alright, I think S. Train would be pleased to know that the crown still rests with you. Enjoy the pressure and expectations hahahahahahaha.

    Great stuff man. ^_^
    Pssh, that's debatable, but thanks dude.

    And thanks to Pandu as well! Always happy to have readers. ^.^
     
         

  8. #8
    Senior Member Hori's Avatar
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    Re: The Mirage of Uchiha: Chapter 2-Fighting Retreat.

    great job handsome
     
         

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