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  1. #1
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    Naruto Tensai Gaiden: [Part: 04] "The New Team 7"

    Here's the new part!, Sorry for the hold up...In any case, Enjoy!
    Also as an added bonus, I found this Naruto character creation thing that let's you make your own shinobi.
    So for now I will make character concept's for each team whenever needed or requested.
    (These aren't final, as said they are concept's as they are teens, I just wanted to get a little bit of my concept of it out there.)
    -----------------------------------------------------------------------------

    Haru Uzumaki:


    Yuki Ayano:


    Hikaru Kasai:


    And that is just a little bit of how they look, I couldn't change they're height, so just stick with this for now..
    This is just a concept on how they look, Not the final image.
    ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    Twas the night before the bell test, Haru layed softly in his bedsheet's thinking about his past and now the present...all Haru could think of was his dad and his future...He wanted to surpass Naruto Uzumaki but he ended up being his student, Today was probably the worst/awesomest day ever for Haru Uzumaki...Haru closes his eye's as his deep thought start's to fade away


    -The Next Morning-

    Haru get's up does his usual daily routine. As he's dressing, he stares at his headband. For an unknown reason, Haru fills with anger, but as he does he calms himself. Haru takes his headband, put's it on, and goes downstairs.

    *Haru holds his ramen cup and goes outside with his gear*

    Haru: Mom I'm off.

    Haru non-hesitantly waiting for his mom's reply runs off with his ramen cup in his hand, as he runs as a speed of light he see's Hikaru.

    Hikaru: Hey Ha-

    *Haru run's right passed Hikaru*

    Hikaru: *facepalm* *Oh it's this day again.*

    as Haru approached the gates of the training field, His ramen cup already finished.

    Haru: *So this is the place huh?*

    Haru: *Dad this is where...I make you proud*

    *Flashback*

    Little Haru: Daddy please, Don't go!
    *Little Haru burst's into tears*
    *The man pat's Little Haru's head.
    *Little Haru suddenly stops crying*
    Little Haru: Huh?
    ?: Take care of mother....
    *Flashback ends*

    Naruto: So were all here.

    Naruto: Alright, I'll explain the basics of the test

    Naruto: See this bell?, You're point is to capture it from me..The key to this test is to use strategy, teamwork, and most of all...friendship.

    Naruto: I'm gonna give you all 30 seconds to make a strategy and 30 seconds to hide.

    Hikaru: WHAT!? 30 SECONDS TO MAKE A PLAN!?

    Naruto: As a shinobi you should now be capable to make plans within 3 or 5 seconds..but since you guys are beginners I'll give you a time extension

    Hikaru: Hmph, I was just playing.

    Naruto: 30 plus 30 equals 60 so overall you have 60 seconds to do both

    Naruto: GO!

    *the Group hide's into a bush and some trees*

    Hikaru: Alright, here's the plan...Haru were gonna try that.

    Haru: !?

    Naruto: LET THE BELL TEST COMMENCE!

    Hikaru: *whisper: Get to the stations*

    Haru/Yuki: Right!

    Hikaru: I'll go in first.

    *Hikaru makes a shadow clone that does a wave sphere*

    Clone Hikaru: Suiton: Namitama! (Wave Sphere)

    Naruto: Attacking me head on!?, What did I just tell you!?

    Haru: Katon: Gōkakyū no Jutsu!

    Naruto: !?

    *Naruto dodges the attack*

    Naruto: *I misunderstood myself again...dammit.*

    Hikaru: Heh, all going according to plan.

    Haru: NOW YUKI!

    Yuki: R-Right!

    *Yuki performs hand signs*

    Yuki: Doton: Tsuchiken (Earth Blades)

    *Blades made of rock form around Yuki's hand*

    Yuki: HA!

    Naruto: !?

    *The attack directly hits*

    Naruto: OWAAH!!!

    Naruto: *crap, I forgot to throw in some shadow clones...some kind of sensei I am...oh well...*

    *Hikaru dashes forward as he grabs one bell*

    *Naruto quickly uses a substitution*

    Hikaru: Dammit.

    Naruto: *, these guys seem advance at there age..I guess theres no holding back*

    Naruto: KAGE BUNSHIN NO JUTSU!

    *Several clones all appear forming spiralling balls in there hand*

    Naruto: SCATTER!

    As they scatter a Haru shaped clone watches in the shadows

    *All the clones scatter around looking for the student's*

    Haru: !?

    Haru: Is this the famous "Rasengan?"

    Haru: Katon: Honootate (Flame Shield)

    *A huge red aura shaped as a shield appears as Haru holds it protecting his teammates.*

    Haru: DAMMIT!! This jutsu is harder to deal with then I thought!

    Yuki: Haru-kun....

    *Haru start to get tired until he unleashes a sudden burst of power.*

    Haru: OOOOOOOORRRRRRRRRRRRRYYAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    *Hikaru stays shocked*

    Hikaru: *What is this immense power!?*

    The shield makes a *clink* and the clones reflect all back at naruto

    Haru: NOW HIKARU!

    Hikaru snaps out of his short slumber

    Hikaru: Alright lets do it!

    *Haru performs handsigns*

    Haru: Katon: Kaontama (Fire Style: Heat Sphere)

    Hikaru: Suiton: Namitama (Water Style: Wave Sphere)

    Haru and Hikaru both fall off the tree and hold the sphere's with both of there hands, As they they fall they start to rotate than eventually...Spin super fast

    *Both Haru and Hikaru*

    Haru/Hikaru: NAMI KAON KOUMBO: NAMI NO KAON!!!!! (Wave Heat Combo: Wave's of Heat)

    Massive energy flows around both Haru and Hikaru as they spin, They combine with eachother eventually making a Wave that is made out of heat...As it clashes with Naruto, the clones that were reflected not to long ago are aiming directly at naruto...as the duo hit the clones it gives a massive boost of power to the naruto clones, as the clones hit naruto they all disperse leaving massive damage around the field as naruto looks heavily injured..Naruto suddenly disperses.

    Naruto: Wow.

    *Haru and Hikaru look back in shock

    Haru: WHAT!?

    Hikaru: I THOUGHT WE!?!?!?!?!

    Naruto: You guys deserve a massive passing mark on teamwork..

    Naruto: But then again...Teamwork is the key thing to this..

    Naruto reaches into his pocket, as he reaches 2 bells appear he throws the 2 bells at the young genin.

    Naruto: Here, You pass!

    Haru and his team go in shock.

    Haru: WHAT!?!?!?!?!

    Hikaru: AM I DREAMING?!?!?!?!?!

    Yuki: *YYYYYYYOSSSSSHHHHHHAAAAAAANNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!*

    Naruto: You are now the new Team 7!, and to celebrate lets go to the worlds best ramen shop, ICHIRAKU RAMEN!!!!!

    *Haru and Naruto run toward Ichiraku while Hikaru and Yuki fall behind*

    Ayame: and Naruto what would you like?

    Naruto: One pork miso please!

    Ayame: Coming right up!

    A man suddenly step's in

    Kakashi: So these are you're new students..

    Naruto: Yup, By the way....

    Kakashi: Huh?

    Naruto: The guy in the blonde hair, I might want to pass him on to you...Teach him some new technique's please!? I'll take the one in the black hair and the brown

    Kakashi: Is he from the Kasai Clan? the one with the special Kekkai Genkai...the Hanshonome!?

    Naruto: Yup, But he never used it yet, I'm looking forward to it myself

    Haru: JUST CONFESS TO HER HIKARU!

    *Hikaru blushes*

    Hikaru: SHUT UP!!

    Haru: JUST DO IT!!!!

    *Kakashi smiles*

    Kakashi: *Naruto...I have a feeling you'll be raising some great genin, and for now on you'll be "Naruto-Sensei"*

    Naruto: OOOOOHHHH!!!! Hey guys! have I introduced you to my Sensei yet? call him Kakashi-Sensei!

    Kakashi: Well, I guess theres no holding back then....Hello, I am Kakashi Hatake I am naruto's former sensei, In my right eye I have the sharingan

    *Hikaru goes in shock*

    Hikaru: !?

    *Hikaru get's up and leaves*

    Naruto: Hikaru! where are you going!?

    Hikaru suddenly stops walking and turns around with a mad and intent looking face...As he turns his eye color changes from brown to dark green, within the dark green eye is a circle with 2 crosses....With the most bloodshotted look Hikaru say's.....

    Hikaru: I disgrace the Uchiha, and the Sharingan.

    Genin Test Arc: Finished

    Next: http://narutobase.net/forums/showthr...5#post10902085
    Previous: http://narutobase.net/forums/showthread.php?t=340178
     
         
    Last edited by RasenToad; 03-29-2013 at 12:04 AM.

  2. #2
    Future Presidente DoubleA49's Avatar
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    Re: Naruto Tensai Gaiden: [Part: 04] "The New Team 7"

    Nice chapter, well done.

    Criticism:
    There are some run-on sentences here and there amongst a few spelling and grammar mistakes. If I wasn't on my iPhone, I would show them to you. About the overpowered genin, I'm starting to wonder about all these spherical jutsu. Not to be mean, but it's kind of a drag. I would say something about the overpowered genin, but hey, I did it too. (Just not as much)
     
         
    Last edited by DoubleA49; 03-24-2013 at 03:14 AM.

  3. #3
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    Re: Naruto Tensai Gaiden: [Part: 04] "The New Team 7"

    Quote Originally Posted by DoubleA49 View Post
    Nice chapter, well done.

    Criticism:
    There are some run-on sentences here and there amongst a few spelling and grammar mistakes. If I wasn't on my iPhone, I would show them to you. About the overpowered genin, I'm starting to wonder about all these spherical jutsu. Not to be mean, but it's kind of a drag. I would say something about the overpowered genin, but hey, I did it too. (Just not as much)
    There not over-powered there just a little above level than most genin...You'll get my point as the story goes on..
     
         

  4. #4
    Future Presidente DoubleA49's Avatar
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    Re: Naruto Tensai Gaiden: [Part: 04] "The New Team 7"

    Haru get's up does his usual daily routine. As he's dressing, he stares at his headband. For an unknown reason, Haru fills with anger, but as he does he calms himself. Haru takes his headband, put's it on, and goes downstairs.

    This sentence has one major problem: It's a run-on. There should be periods or semi colons in certain places. The above is how I fixed it.

    Haru: Mom i'm off.

    "I" should always be capitalized in I'm.

    So were all here.

    *We're

    As a shinobi you should now be capable to make plans within 3 to 5 seconds..but since you guys are beginners, I'll give you a time extension.

    Naruto: *These guys seem advanced for their age. I guess there's no holding back*

    Haru and Hikaru jump off the tree and hold their sphere's with both hands. As they they fall, they start to rotate and accelerate simultaneously.

    Massive energy flows around both Haru and Hikaru as they move. They combine with each other, making a wave that is made out of heat (?)...As it clashes with Naruto, the clones that were reflected before are aiming directly at Naruto...As the duo hit the clones, they give a massive boost of power to the Naruto clones. as the clones hit Naruto they all disperse leaving the field destroyed and Naruto heavily injured. Suddenly, Naruto disperses.
     
         
    Last edited by DoubleA49; 03-24-2013 at 11:46 PM.

  5. #5
    Reverse RasenToad's Avatar
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    Re: Naruto Tensai Gaiden: [Part: 04] "The New Team 7"

    Quote Originally Posted by DoubleA49 View Post
    Haru get's up does his usual daily routine. As he's dressing, he stares at his headband. For an unknown reason, Haru fills with anger, but as he does he calms himself. Haru takes his headband, put's it on, and goes downstairs.

    This sentence has one major problem: It's a run-on. There should be periods or semi colons in certain places. The above is how I fixed it.

    Haru: Mom i'm off.

    "I" should always be capitalized in I'm.

    I will edit this post later for more.
    Those aren't too major, But I still edited it.
     
         

  6. #6
    Senior Member Hori's Avatar
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    Re: Naruto Tensai Gaiden: [Part: 04] "The New Team 7"

    I want more more please!!!
     
         

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