View Poll Results: How much you enjoyed it compared to the original.

Voters
3. You may not vote on this poll
  • 1

    0 0%
  • 2

    0 0%
  • 3

    0 0%
  • 4

    0 0%
  • 5

    0 0%
  • 6

    0 0%
  • 7

    1 33.33%
  • 8

    2 66.67%
  • 9

    0 0%
  • 10(Enjoyed just as much as the Original)

    0 0%
  • +(Enjoyed more than the original)

    0 0%
Results 1 to 3 of 3
  1. #1
    Member VlaudFenikkusu's Avatar
    Status
    VlaudFenikkusu is offline
    Gender
    Join Date
    Mar 2013
    Location
    California
    Posts
    417
    Post Thanks / Like
    Bored & Hungry
     

    Sasuke Chapter 1: Sasuke Uchiha

    Alright, This is my first Fan-Fiction... EVER, so, I am very self conscious and I apologize in advance if it could always be better.

    This Fan-fiction is in an AU where Naruto gave into his hate to the village and it's villagers so becomes the rival of the new hero, Sasuke. Sasuke, instead of giving into hate with "kill Itachi, I hate Itachi, I have to kill him, god, I hate everyone, they are in my way, especially those damned fan girls...etc..." on his mind, he seeks Consolation, "Why did Itachi do that? What do I do? Why did he Really keep me alive? I have to find him and receive my closer, I don't know if I will have to kill him, but I have to hear what he has to say for himself... Ugh, why can't these people leave me alone to think, they're so annoying".

    This will follow Sasuke rather than Naruto I think, or i may go back and forth, either way, I will follow the normal story arc but with these 2's roles switched. Note that I am no Sasuke Fan-boy and this isn't all about Sasuke, Nor Naruto.

    This is something I have seen Before so I will give a shot as well, Dialogue Tools!

    "Talking out loud" "Whispering/in the distance/quite" "YELLING" |Location| * Action *

    "Demonic/Powerful/Other Worldly" 'Thinking ' Emphasizing ____Scene/Time Change

    I believe that is all, so, I will stop stalling and get Started!

    I bring to you... Sasuke...

    (P.S. I DO NOT own Naruto or any of it's contents, all credit is Due to Kishimoto, alright, have fun ^^)

    (P.S.S. THIS IS NOT A YAOI I SWEAR!)

    Chapter 1: Sasuke Uchiha

    Konaha Academy

    ?: 'Finally, after all of those yeas, that studying, that training, I am finally a Gennin...'

    ?: "Huh? Naruto, what are you doing here? Only those who pass are supposed to be here."

    ?: "Hey Hey! Can't you see this head protector?!"

    ?: '...Right, anyway, Brother, I am one more step to finding you and...'

    ?: "Hey let me through." ?: "Maybe if you say please now and then Forehead-Chan."

    ?: '...One step closer to finding you and then I will...'

    ?: "SHUT UP AND MOVE YOUR ASS NARUTO-BAKA SO I CAN SIT ON THE OTHER SIDE OF YOU ALREADY!"

    ?: '... Damn it, why do I have a feeling that those idiots are going to pull me into this, I will just ignore them, maybe they will settle down...'

    Naruto: 'Why does she want to sit there... oh, him...' "what is it? You just want to sit next to the emo huh? I don't even understand his appeal! He is just a gay little loner!"

    ?: 'Why me? Why am I a fan-girl magnet and the envy of all the losers? Is it my fault I try and succeed harder than them? It's not my fault that I'm an Uchiha and they will never have any hope of being my level?... Is he staring at me now? I might as well ask...' "What?"

    Naruto: "What do you mean what!?"

    Sakura: "SASUKE-KUN! CAN I SIT NEXT TO YOU!? 3" * Pushes Naruto's head down *

    Naruto: "UGH! SAKURA! GET OFF OF ME FOREHEAD!" * Pushes Sakura off * "WHY ARE YOU ON ME? IF YOU WANT HIM GET ON HIS ASS!" * Gets on Sasuke's Desk and stares him down * "Hey Emo-Shi, why don't you learn to control your Fan girls already? They are incredibly annoying and I'm going deaf here..."

    Suddenly, the room feel to a collective gasp followed by silence and enraged fan girls and a boy and his dog trying to hold their laughter back.

    Sasuke: "You have NO idea loser, Now, are you going to get out of my face, or am I going to have to make you...?"

    Fan-girls: "GET AWAY FROM SASUKE-KUN!"

    Then suddenly, the boy in the row in front of him couldn't hold his curiosity any longer, when he turned to look, his elbow knocked the boy on the desk off balance and he fell forward and, and...

    *Smooch*

    Sasuke: "NARUTO YOU BASTARD! I WILL KILL YOU!" Naruto: "NOT IF I THROW UP MY STOMACH AND DIE FIRST!"

    The room was suddenly filled with a powerful KI that all seemed to make Naruto the center of all this worlds blood-lust, envy, and hate, not that he wasn't used to this by the villagers by now, but he felt as though his birthday came early, which is not a good thing for Naruto...

    Sasuke: 'Finally, some peace and quite, and all it took was all of my loud fan-girls targeting a common, equally loud enemy. Iruka-Sensei finally showed up, but I graduated Rookie of the year and I'm sure he's just blabbing about his congratulations this, welcome to the ninja world that...I would be paying attention, but now those two idiots are breaking my focus. Sakura Haruno, she is one of the top third smartest student here other than myself and that lazy Nara kid, but where his laziness prevents him from becoming greater overall, she is always just such a fan-girl, it's embarrassing to konoichi everywhere, she thinks brains are all she needs, as long as she knows it she can do it, she is never making it to Chunin, she will be lucky to survive a B rank mission wearing that bright pink kimono of hers with her somehow pink hair, if she ever gets one, I doubt it. Naruto Uzumaki, don't get me wrong, I can level with the loser, but it doesn't mean I cant hate his annoyingly loud, hateful, cynical, blonde, black striped orange Jumpsuit wearing, swearing ass either. It doesn't help his case that he his always ditching class and pissing everyone all the time. They both stick out like soar thumbs and if the somehow aren't seen, they can be heard from a mile away.

    Iruka: " Now... You will soon be assigned duties by the village. So, today we will be creating 3 man teams..." Sasuke: 'whats that about teams?' Iruka: "And each team will have a Jounin Sensei. You will follow that Sensei's instructions as you complete the assigned duties."

    Sasuke: 'Pfft, 3-man teams? That's just more people in my way' Sakura: ' I have to be with Sasuke-Kun!' Naruto: 'Damn it, well, if I HAVE to have people on my team, I would want Nara and Aburami, they both seem quite and competent, and they never say the wrong thing heheh. Then again, Aburami kinda freaks me out...still better than that bastard Sasuke or that ***** Sakura.'

    Iruka: "Alright, we tried to balance each team's, strengths..."

    Everyone: "WHAT!?"

    1.75 minutes later

    Iruka: "Next, Team 7...Sakura Haruno, Naruto Uzumaki..." Naruto&Sakura: 'DAMN' Iruka: "...Sasuke Uchiha" Sasuke&Naruto:'DAMN!' Sakura: 'YES!'

    Naruto: "Iruka-Sensei! Why am I on the same team as that ***** and that ****ing Emo!? Am I being punished!? I SAVED YOUR LIFE! YOU OWE ME!"

    Iruka: "...Sasuke's grades were the highest among all 27 graduates... Naruto, you were dead last...We have to balance the teams, Understand?"

    Sasuke: "Hn, just don't get in my way...Dead last" Naruto: "WHAT DID YOU ****ING CALL ME YOU EMO PRICK!?" Sakura: "GIVE IT A REST NARUTO!"

    Iruka: 'Well... this should work out... even with Naruto ^-^" ' "Okay, this Afternoon we will introduce your Jounin Senseis. Take a break until then, dismissed!"

    Sometime Later

    We find Sasuke stopping for a lunch break in one of his favorite spots to snack taking out his rice ball. It is one of his favorite places because it's all to himself, beautiful view, nice and quite, all the rope you could, wait what?

    Naruto: * Finishes tying up Sasuke * "Hey Uchiha-Teme, you don't like me and I ****ing hate you, but we both loth Forehead-Chan, so I'm doing us both a favor, trust me. What's that? You want too know what I'm doing? Well it's simple really..." *Henge into Sasuke * "Pretty good huh loser? You see, if Forehead-Chan is going to do nothing but faun over your ass on missions, she will die and lead to us dying, so, I am going to ruin her opinion of you so she gets over herself and can focus on being a konoichi, while taking a slight satisfaction in embarrassing your ass haha, but it's for the greater good! Je ne!"

    Sasuke struggled for a few more moments before realizing that he wasn't getting anywhere.

    Sasuke: 'That bastard I don't know weather to kill him or kiss hi- wait, no, never again * shudders * either way, if his plan works, the fan-girls may stop stalking me, but then all the stares will turn into laughter. I am not one to fold to pure pressure, but his actions would spread like wild fire and I'll get burned' * reaches for Kunai and escapes * 'Alright, I might as well do some damage control if it's not to late...'

    Moments Later

    Sasuke finds Sakura looking severely confused looking on a bench...

    Sakura: 'What happened, he sounded like he wanted to tell me something really important, he demanded for me to listen and listen well, it made my heart skip a beat for him to talk to me like that for some reason, but he kepts stopping and stuttering, and grabbing his stomach... was he having butterflies!? Was he going to confess!? CHA! I KNEW IF I JUST HUNG IN THERE HE WOULD COME TO ME!'

    Sasuke: 'I might aswell say something and focus on how she reacts...' ""Sakura, it's time to go. Where's Naruto?" Sakura:! "OH! umm, hey Sasuke-kun!, u-um I don't know.. Hey, don't change the subject! You were going to tell me something! Who cares about Naruto anyway?" Sasuke: 'tell her something? I better find him and find out what he did...' Sakura: " All he does is get in fights with you. Well, he hasn't had a normal childhood. He doesn't have any parents..." Sasuke:!? Sakura: "He can do whatever he wants. If I acted like him, my parents would get sooo mad at me. He's so lucky, all alone, he never had parents to teach him manners or to get on his case. That's why he misbehaves so much."

    Sasuke: "Alone..." Sakura: "Huh?" Sasuke: "The sadness of having a parent yell at you is nowhere near the despair he feels" Sakura: "Whats this...all of a sudden..." Sasuke: "He's right, you are just an annoying ***** who doesn't know when to keep her mouth shut. You will never be a konoichi..."

    Sasuke leaves Sakura to her own shock devices and decides to find Naruto when all of a sudden, said loser comes running down the hall and stops just in front of said Uchiha.

    Naruto: "AHH! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING HERE!" Sasuke: * Smirks * "Ninja know how to get out of ropes, remember that, Dead-last?" Naruto: "****..."

    Back with Sakura

    Sakura: 'An annoying ***** huh... The first time that Sasuke-Kun and Naruto finally agree on something, and I'ts that I'm an annoying *****...' "Well, it wouldn't kill me to be nicer to Naruto from now on, for Sasuke-Kun, for me..."

    Meanwhile in Naruto's home

    ?: "So this is Naruto's house?" 'This milk went bad a while ago...' ?: "He's a moron, but I think giving him to you is best, you have a good nose for these types. Plus, your team will also have THAT Uchiha. Good luck..." ?: "Yes Hokage-Sama..." 'This could be troublesome...'

    AN: Alright, tat is the first chapter of my first fan-fiction. I am sorry for the strange layout, I cannot seem to fix it for some reason, every time i try editing and saving changes, It wont work, so I will just have to be more careful with the next chapter I upload ^^" well, I hope you Enjoyed it and hang In there with me through this story.

    P.S. As far as update times, I don't know yet, I will try at least one Chapter per week but I will probably put multiple per week, no promises. I will take this as far as wave arc unless I get viewers/followers, then if i get a reasonable amount, the next check point would be the Chunin exams, if I have more then, then I will go to V.o.t.E. I know those are all far apart, but they were the only checkpoints I could think of, I will let you all know if I choose different checkpoints/ more checkpoints.

    Alright, see you next time, peace outchyo ,,v,^^

     
         
    Last edited by VlaudFenikkusu; 04-04-2013 at 12:44 AM.

  2. #2
    Hori's Avatar
    Status
    Hori is online now
    Gender
    Join Date
    Aug 2012
    Location
    Cuba, Camaguey
    Posts
    81,329
    Post Thanks / Like
    I have a dream that someday
    nosy people will stay out of
    my business for good.
     



    Re: Sasuke Chapter 1: Sasuke Uchiha



    Loved it!
     
         

  3. #3
    Member VlaudFenikkusu's Avatar
    Status
    VlaudFenikkusu is offline
    Gender
    Join Date
    Mar 2013
    Location
    California
    Posts
    417
    Post Thanks / Like
    Bored & Hungry
     

    Re: Sasuke Chapter 1: Sasuke Uchiha

    I Fixed the grammer, so, try not letting it get to you ^^"
    Alright, This is my first Fan Fiction.. EVER, so, I am very self conscious and I apologize in advance if it could always be better.

    This Fan fiction is in an AU where Naruto gave into his hate to the village and it's villagers so becomes the rival of the new hero, Sasuke. Sasuke, instead of giving into hate with "kill Itachi, I hate Itachi, I have to kill him, god, I hate everyone, they are in my way, especially those damned fan girls...etc..." on his mind, he seeks Consolation, "Why did Itachi do that? What do I do? Why did he Really keep me alive? I have to find him and receive my closer, I don't know if I will have to kill him, but I have to hear what he has to say for himself... Ugh, why can't these people leave me alone to think, they're so annoying".

    This will follow Sasuke rather than Naruto I think, or i may go back and forth, either way, I will follow the normal story arc but with these 2's roles switched. Note that I am no Sasuke Fan-boy and this isn't all about Sasuke, Nor Naruto.

    This is something I have seen Before so I will give a shot as well, Dialogue Tools!

    "Talking out loud" "Whispering/in the distance/quite" "YELLING" |Location| * Action *

    "Demonic/Powerful/Other Worldly" 'Thinking ' Emphasizing_Scene/Time Change

    I believe that is all, so, I will stop stalling and get Started!

    I bring to you... Sasuke...

    (P.S. I DO NOT own Naruto or any of it's contents, all credit is Due to Kishimoto, alright, have fun ^^)

    (P.S.S. THIS IS NOT A YAOI I SWEAR!)

    _ _Chapter 1: Sasuke Uchiha_

    |Konoha Academy|

    ?: 'Finally, after all of those yeas, that studying, that training, I am finally a Gennin...'

    ?: "Huh? Naruto, what are you doing here? Only those who pass are supposed to be here."

    ?: "Hey Hey! Can't you see this head protector?!"

    ?: '...Right, anyway, Brother, I am one more step to finding you and...'

    ?: "Hey let me through." ?: "Maybe if you say please now and then Forehead-Chan."

    ?: '...One step closer to finding you and then I will...'

    ?: "SHUT UP AND MOVE YOUR ASS NARUTO-BAKA SO I CAN SIT ON THE OTHER SIDE OF YOU ALREADY!"

    ?: '... Damn it, why do I have a feeling that those idiots are going to pull me into this, I will just ignore them, maybe they will settle down...'

    Naruto: 'Why does she want to sit there... oh, him...' "what is it? You just want to sit next to the emo huh? I don't even understand his appeal! He his just a gay little loner!"

    ?: 'Why me? Why am I a fan-girl magnet and the envy of all the losers? Is it my fault I try and succeed harder than them? It's not my fault that I'm an Uchiha and they will never have any hope of being my level?... Is he staring at me now? I might as well ask...' "What?"

    Naruto: "What do you mean what!?"

    Sakura: "SASUKE-KUN! CAN I SIT NEXT TO YOU!? 3" * Pushes Naruto's head down *

    Naruto: "UGH! SAKURA! GET OFF OF ME FORHEAD!" * Pushes Sakura off * "WHY ARE YOU ON ME? IF YOU WANT HIM GET ON HIS ASS!" * Gets on Sasuke's Desk and stares him down * "Hey Emo-shi, why don't you learn to control your Fan girls already? They are incredibly annoying and I'm going deaf here..."

    Suddenly, the room feel to a collective gasp followed by silence and enraged fan girls and a boy and his dog trying to hold their laughter back.

    Sasuke: "You have NO idea loser, Now, are you going to get out of my face, or am I going to have to make you...?"

    Fan-Girls: "GET AWAY FROM SASUKE-KUN!"

    Then suddenly, the boy in the row in front of him couldn't hold his curiosity any longer, when he turned to look, his elbow knocked the boy on the desk off balance and he fell forward and, and...

    *Smooch*

    Sasuke: "NARUTO YOU BASTARD! I WILL KILL YOU!" Naruto: "NOT IF I THOW UP MY STOMACHE AND DIE FIRST!"

    The room was suddenly filled with a powerful KI that all seemed to make Naruto the center of all this worlds blood-lust, envy, and hate, not that he wasn't used to this by the villagers by now, but he felt as though his birthday came early, which is not a good thing for Naruto...

    Sasuke: 'Finally, some peace and quite, and all it took was all of my loud fan-girls targeting a common, equally loud enemy. Iruka-sensei finally showed up, but I graduated Rookie of the year and I'm sure he's just blabbing about his congratulations this, welcome to the ninja world that...I would be paying attention, but now those two idiots are breaking my focus. Sakura Haruno, she is one of the top third smartest student here other than myself and that lazy Nara kid, but where his laziness prevents him from becoming greater overall, she is always just such a fan-girl, it's embarrassing to Konoichi everywhere, she thinks brains are all she needs, as long as she knows it she can do it, she is never making it to Chuunin, she will be lucky to survive a B rank mission wearing that bright pink kimono of hers with her somehow pink hair, if she ever gets one, I doubt it. Naruto Uzumaki, don't get me wrong, I can level with the loser, but it doesn't mean I cant hate his annoyingly loud, hateful, cynical, blonde, black striped orange Jumpsuit wearing, swearing ass either. It doesn't help his case that he his always ditching class and pissing everyone all the time. They both stick out like soar thumbs and if the somehow aren't seen, they can be heard from a mile away.

    Iruka: " Now... You will soon be assigned duties by the village. So, today we will be creating 3 man teams..." Sasuke: 'whats that about teams?' Iruka: "And each team will have a Jounin Sensei. You will follow that Sensei's instructions as you complete the assigned duties."

    Sasuke: 'Pfft, 3-man teams? That's just more people in my way' Sakura: ' I have to be with Sasuke-Kun!' Naruto: 'Damn it, well, if I HAVE to have people on my team, I would want Nara and Aburami, they both seem quite and competent, and they never say the wrong thing heheh. Then again, Aburami kinda freaks me out...still better than that bastard Sasuke or that ***** Sakura.'

    Iruka: "Alright, we tried to balance each team's, strengths..."

    Everyone: "WHAT!?"

    1.75 minutes later

    Iruka: "Next, Team 7...Sakura Haruno, Naruto Uzumaki..." Naruto&Sakura: 'DAMN' Iruka: "...Sasuke Uchiha" Sasuke&Naruto:'DAMN!' Sakura: 'YES!'

    Naruto: "Iruka-Sensei! Why am I on the same team as that ***** and that ****ing Emo!? Am I being punished!? I SAVED YOUR LIFE! YOU OWE ME!"

    Iruka: "...Sasuke's grades were the highest among all 27 graduates... Naruto, you were dead last...We have to balance the teams, Understand?"

    Sasuke: "Hn, just don't get in my way...Dead last" Naruto: "WHAT DID YOU ****ING CALL ME YOU EMO PRICK!?" Sakura: "GIVE IT A REST NARUTO!"

    Iruka: 'well.. this should work out... even with Naruto ^-^" ' "Okay, this Afternoon we will introduce your Jounin Senses Take a break until then, dismissed!"

    Sometime Later

    We find Sasuke stopping for a lunch break in one of his favorite spots to snack taking out his rice ball. It is one of his favorite places because it's all to himself, beautiful view, nice and quite, all the rope you could, wait what?

    Naruto: * Finishes tying up Sasuke * "Hey Uchiha-teme, you don't like me and I ****ing hate you, but we both loth Forehead-Chan, so I'm doing us both a favor, trust me. What's that? You want too know what I'm doing? Well it's simple really..." *Henge into Sasuke * "Pretty good huh loser? You see, if Forehead-Chan is going to do nothing but faun over your ass on missions, she will die and lead to us dying, so, I am going to ruin her opinion of you so she gets over herself and can focus on being a Konoichi, while taking a slight satisfaction in embarrassing your ass hah, but it's for the greater good! Je ne!"

    Sasuke struggled for a few more moments before realizing that he wasn't getting anywhere.

    Sasuke: 'That bastard I don't know weather to kill him or kiss hi- wait, no, never again * shudders * either way, if his plan works, the fan-girls may stop stalking me, but then all the stares will turn into laughter. I am not one to fold to pure pressure, but his actions would spread like wild fire and I'll get burned' * reaches for Kunai and escapes * 'Alright, I might as well do some damage control if it's not to late...'

    Moments Later

    Sasuke finds Sakura looking severly confused looking on a bench...

    Sakura: 'What happened, he sounded like he wanted to tell me something really important, he demanded for me to listen and listen well, it made my heart skip a beat for him to talk to me like that for some reason, but he kepts stopping and stutturing, and grabbing his stomach... was he having butterflies!? Was he going to confess!? CHA! I KNEW IF I JUST HUNG IN THERE HE WOULD COME TO ME!'

    Sasuke: 'I might aswell say something and focus on how she reacts...' ""Sakura, it's time to go. Where's Naruto?" Sakura:! "OH! umm, hey Sasuke-kun!, u-um I don't know.. Hey, don't change the subject! You were going to tell me something! Who cares about Naruto anyway?" Sasuke: 'tell her something? I better find him and find out what he did...' Sakura: " All he does is get in fights with you. Well, he hasn't had a normal childhood. He doesn't have any parents..." Sasuke:!? Sakura: "He can do whatever he wants. If I acted like him, my parents would get sooo mad at me. He's so lucky, all alone, he never had parents to teach him manners or to get on his case. Thats why he misbehaves so much."

    Sasuke: "Alone..." Sakura: "Huh?" Sasuke: "The sadness of having a parent yell at you is nowhere near the despair he feels" Sakura: "Whats this...all of a sudden..." Sasuke: "He's right, you are just an annoying ***** who doesn't know when to keep her mouth shut. You will never be a konoichi..."

    Sasuke leaves Sakura to her own shock devices and decides to find Naruto when all of a sudden, said loser comes running down the hall and stops just infront of said Uchiha.

    Naruto: "AHH! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING HERE!" Sasuke: * Smirks * "Ninja know how to get out of ropes, remember that, Dead-last?" Naruto: "****..."

    Back to Sakura- Sakura: 'An annoying ***** huh... The first time that Sasuke-Kun and Naruto finally agrre on something, and I'ts that I'm an annoying *****...' "Well, it wouldn't kill me to be nicer to Naruto from now on, for Sasuke-Kun, for me..."

    Meanwhile in Naruto's home

    ?: "So this is Naruto's house?" 'This milk went bad a while ago...' ?: "He's a moron, but I think giving him to you is best, you have a good nose for these types. Plus, your team will also have THAT Uchiha. Good luck..." ?: "Yes Hokage-Sama..." 'This could be troublesome...'
     
         

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •