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  1. #1
    Senior Member Chakra Wizard's Avatar
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    Altopolis II (2)

    Sorry this one took so long. Had a lot of college stuff going on lately. Hopefully, the insight and everything else in this chapter makes up for it, though Also, thanks to everyone who voted for the first Altopolis in this month’s fanfiction contest. Your votes really meant a lot Anyways, enjoy



    - Sympathy -


    Looking behind him every three seconds to ensure that he wasn’t being followed, Ren paced through the now relatively empty hallways towards the elevator, almost punching the button leading to the first floor once he was inside. After spending roughly five minutes in what had to be the most unreliable elevator in this post-apocalyptic world of theirs, the door finally flew open once again and he continued towards the front of the building, stopping to catch his breath once he made it outside. Walking over to the concrete steps to take a seat, he leaned his bag up against the black railing located at their center before burying his head in his lap, both in exhaustion and in hopes that it would keep Onako’s gang from recognizing him if they were indeed following him downstairs. As Ren sat there, his mind kept wandering back to the event that took place on the roof. In particular, he couldn’t help but bring to mind the horrified look on Onako’s face when he heard that someone was listening to him sing, …as well as the voice he was singing with.

    “I guess that would explain why he doesn’t like singing in front of the other students.” he thought, having seen more than enough bullying during his grade school years, often for reasons even more ridiculous than that. Needless to say, a feminine voice wasn’t something a boy wanted to be stuck with, especially as he grew older.

    “But still, that’s no reason to shut himself out from everyone else completely.” he said aloud to himself, not considering the possibility that someone was still lingering around the school…or right behind him.

    “It’s not?”

    Scared out of his mind by this sudden intrusion, Ren’s entire body quickly froze up, finally turning around after almost a full minute to find none other than Onako, standing behind him with his hands in his pockets and a look of annoyance on his face.

    “AH! Uh-uh, Zetsume! …Uhhh, what…how goes it?” Ren said feebly, half-expecting that he might grab ahold of his shirt and lift him off the ground in anger. It wasn’t exactly out of the range of realistic possibilities at this point. …He did just discover his darkest secret, after all. To his surprise, however, Onako said nothing further and simply turned around, giving a wave of his right index finger as he began walking back inside the school. Perplexed by this, Ren continued sitting on the steps, unsure how to respond, causing Onako to turn around again.

    “That wasn’t an invitation.” he said with a sternness that almost overshadowed the femininity of his voice. Needless to say, Ren didn’t hesitate to obey.

    “Oh! R-right!” he stammered, quickly picking up his bag before standing up and running after him. The long walk that followed was accompanied by a silence which the word ‘awkward’ couldn’t even begin to describe, while Ren’s certainty that he was being lead back up to the roof only added to his uneasiness. Unsure of what Onako’s intentions were and for fear that he might stir up any lingering anger within him, he kept quiet, desperately hoping that someone or something might come along that would give him the opportunity to escape.

    “So?” Onako finally asked as they made their way up to the second floor, easily catching Ren off guard. Having not even the foggiest idea of what he was referring to, Ren had only one response to give him.

    “…So what?” he asked, hoping in the back of his mind that he wasn’t being too blunt. At this point, he didn’t how Onako would react if he was.

    “Did you enjoy it?” he asked him, only adding further puzzlement on Ren’s part.

    “I’m sorry?” he replied confusedly, at this point only concerned with finding out just what the hell he was talking about.

    “I’m asking if you enjoyed the song you heard us playing on the roof.” Onako finally said, bringing a look of both surprise and worry to Ren’s face. To be honest, he was expecting that Onako might bring up the ordeal at some point, but that didn’t make it any less nerve-racking when it finally happened.

    “Oh! Uh, well, …I, uh, …” he stuttered, unable to get the words out. This hesitance on his part served only to irritate Onako further, causing Ren’s body to rapidly tense up as he tried to think of something to say.

    “Uhh, I wasn’t really the biggest fan of the song itself, but, uh, …I thought you guys played…pretty well?” he finally managed, hoping his words might appease Onako’s expectations.

    “And MY performance?” Onako asked next, crushing Ren’s hopes in the process.

    “Shit.” he thought. Treading on dangerous territory by this point in Onako’s makeshift interrogation, Ren spent another moment of awkward silence considering his options.

    “I thought that…you were…unique?” he suggested.

    “In what way?” Onako insisted, bringing Ren even further grief.

    “Goddamn it, why is he doing this!?” he thought to himself, his anger slowly beginning to outweigh his tension.

    “Perhaps, if you just told me what you thought of my voice, this wouldn’t seem so much like an interrogation.” he heard Onako say.

    “Huh!?”

    Looking up into Onako’s eyes, Ren was met with the same gaze of disappointment as before, turning his face pink. He would’ve looked away, had he not been so…captivated.

    “H-how the heck did you-?”

    “It’s all over your face, bro. Anyone with working eyes could see how anxious you are.” Onako explained, causing Ren to lower his head once again. Seeing the guilt in his eyes as he walked alongside him, Onako turned away and directed his gaze forward, a mixture of anger and despair in his expression.

    “So, how about it? …Were you ready to fall over laughing, is that it?” he asked him.

    “No, not at all!” Ren cried out, this sudden exclamation quickly garnering Onako’s attention and bringing their walk to a brief halt, causing him to look away in order to avoid his gaze. Needless to say, he immediately began to regret the outburst.

    “Uh, I just…I thought you were…you were good, that’s all.” he said, hoping this was enough to get Onako to stop staring at him. After another long moment of awkward silence, which he spent entirely with his eyes shut, they were forced open again as Onako placed his hand atop Ren’s head and began rubbing his hair, much to the latter’s annoyance.

    “Then you should’ve just told me.” he said, clearly amused by the absurdity of this whole ordeal. Removing his hand after noticing that Ren’s left eye was twitching in irritation, he returned it to his pocket and looked down at him with a small smile.

    “I’m always ready to sing for people who enjoy listening.” he said reassuringly, only furthering Ren’s confusion. Just a moment ago, he was certain that he would be walking home with a bruised lung or a black eye, but now, …it was as though Onako was offering him his friendship.

    “Uhh, …thanks, I guess.” he said, trying desperately to force a smile and perhaps put Onako’s concerns at ease, a sight the older student couldn’t help but chuckle at. He resumed his march back up to the roof, quickly stopping once again, as though he had just remembered something.

    “Oh yeah, I almost forgot.” Onako said. Confused, not to mention slightly afraid, Ren investigated further.

    “Yeah?” he asked as Onako to turn around to face him again.

    “…I never did get your name.” Onako stated.

    “Huh? Oh, right! It’s, uh, Hiyume. Ren Hiyume.” Ren stuttered, bringing Onako to a chuckle once again.

    “Hmhm, Onako Zetsume. …But you already knew that.” he said, holding out his hand as he spoke.

    “Hehe, yeah. I did, I guess.” Ren replied, gladly accepting Onako’s handshake.

    “Well, Ren, if you ever wanna hear us play some more, we usually play a song or two after the last bell rings before we leave. Feel free to head up there and give us another listen.” he recommended, restoring some of Ren’s previous discomfort. Despite Onako being the only one afflicted by him having seen their performance, Ren wasn’t entirely convinced that his band mates would accept him in the same manner, particularly Caleb. Nonetheless, so as not to hurt his feelings, Ren accepted his offer, although not yet certain that he would live up to his word.

    “Uh…y-yeah, sure. I’ll make sure I do that.”

    “Hmhm, great then. …So, I guess I’ll see you tomorrow.” Onako said, taking a few steps back before spinning around and finishing the rest of the walk up to the roof facing forward.

    “Yeah, sure thing. See you later.” Ren said as Onako disappeared from sight. Wasting a few more seconds standing in the middle of the hallway, he began the long walk back downstairs and outside. He wasn’t quite ready – or perhaps willing – to go home yet, but a quick stroll through the city would probably take his mind off the unpleasantness that was sure to greet him when he returned there.

    The following day passed by rather quickly, but Ren’s mind was much too focused on the events of the previous day to notice the flow of time in and between his classes. Before he even knew it, he found himself drifting through the hallways, once again accompanied by Mizukawa. Just as she did the day before, she asked him out somewhere, and just as before, he turned down her offer, though not without a slight change in his reasoning.

    “Sorry, Mizukawa. I’ve, uh, …I’ve already got other plans.” he told her, though still not entirely certain that this was the truth. In contrast to the look of disappointment which normally illuminated her face upon hearing this answer, though, Ren was met instead by a look of utter surprise.

    “Oh, really? …Umm-”

    “What is it?” he interrupted, causing Mizukawa’s face to turn pink.

    “Uhh, nothing. Nothing, I…it’s just I’ve never really heard you say that before.” she replied, her voice lowered in minor embarrassment. In truth, Ren had never really noticed this up until now, the sudden realization causing him to blush slightly, as well.

    “Um, yeah. …Hehe, I guess that’s true, isn’t it?” he said feebly as the two continued their stroll through the halls, slowing down suddenly once the duo passed by the stairwell leading up to the roof.

    “Well, I probably shouldn’t keep you from your plans, then. …I’ll see you later, Ren.” she said, easily catching him off guard. …It wasn’t every day that she called him by his first name.

    “Uhh, yeah, sure. See you tomorrow, …Aiko.” he replied, prompting her to smile gently before heading off, leaving him standing alone in the center of the crowded hallway. Seeing her off, he waited until she had turned the corner before looking back at the stairwell, standing there in silence for a brief moment until he finally made up his mind.

    “Well, might as well now. …God, I hope that blonde guy’s out sick or something.”

    Ascending the staircase as slowly as his curiosity would allow, Ren stopped just as the roof came into view, looking around before deciding whether or not to go through with this. Peeking around while making sure to stay out of sight himself, he saw that Caleb, Audrey, and Harper were prepping their respective instruments as Onako sat nearby on what appeared to be a discarded set of bleachers, twirling the microphone stand in his hands with the microphone itself rested against his leg. The look on his face implied that he was waiting patiently for something, which he was, but something in the back of Ren’s mind suggested that it wasn’t his band mates whom he was waiting for. Sure enough, when he finally mustered up enough courage to reveal his presence, he was greeted by three surprised expressions, as well as one of pure content.

    “Whoa. Kid actually showed.” Caleb said dumbfounded as he looked at his band mates, who were now sporting cheerful smiles, as well.

    “Well, we’ve got an audience now, guys. Better not leave them waiting.” Onako suggested, enticing a nod from the three of them before standing up and walking over to join them. Waiting until Harper had finished prepping his guitar, he gazed over at Caleb, the microphone now clenched between his fingers, and motioned for him to start the song off. Deciding it best to make himself comfortable, Ren made his way over to the bleachers and sat down on the third of the seven available rows, placing his bag on the row behind him and out of his way just as the music began playing.



    Onako – lead vocals
    Caleb – bass, screams
    Audrey – drums, backing vocals
    Harper – guitar, backing screams

    Just an update from the last list lol


    More impressed by this song than he was the one from yesterday, Ren’s soft applause could hardly be considered simply out of courtesy. Grateful for this rare show of appraisal, the four performers bowed in appreciation, afterwhich the three musicians began setting their instruments aside while their singer returned the microphone to its stand and ran over to the bleachers. Reaching the second row in just one leap, Onako went up two more before walking across them to join Ren, making sure to mess with his hair as he passed him by.

    “Could you not do that!? Seriously.” Ren said in annoyance, running his fingers through his bangs in an attempt to return them to the way they were.

    “Hmhmhmhm, force of habit.” Onako replied as he sat down behind him, now waiting for his band mates to join them. Caleb and Harper immediately complied, taking their seats a few feet across from them, followed shortly by Audrey, who was now carrying a small backpack. Unzipping it and reaching inside, she pulled out four bottles of water, setting the first beside her and tossing the other three to her band mates before reaching in again and pulling out a fifth bottle, which she handed to Ren.

    “Oh. Uh, thanks.” he said in surprise before grabbing it, enticing a gentle smile from Audrey, which he returned in kind.

    “I’m a little surprised you came, to be honest.” Onako said as he took a sip of water, causing Ren to turn around suddenly.

    “Really? …Oh. Well, I couldn’t just pass up your offer like that. I kinda felt you were expecting me after that conversation we had yesterday.” he replied, preferring Onako had no doubts about his sincerity.

    “I was.” he answered, causing Ren’s eyes to widen a little in surprise.

    “Oh, …is that way you said you were just a LITTLE surprised?” he asked, prompting a nod from Onako as he took another sip from his water bottle.

    “You seemed like a pretty honest guy when I first saw you. …Hmhmhm, clumsy, but still honest.” he said jokingly, enticing a few chuckles from his band mates.

    “Ummm, …thanks, I guess.” Ren replied, keeping his head down so they couldn’t see his reddening face.

    They spent the next twenty minutes leaping between different topics of conversation, which ranged from school life to favorite films, their dialogue flowing so smoothly, it seemed almost rehearsed to Ren, who butted in only when questioned directly. After another ten minutes of hesitance on his part, he finally decided to spark a discussion of his own, on a subject which had surprisingly been left untouched until now.

    “So, do you write the songs yourself?” he asked them, his question being directed mostly towards Onako, who answered accordingly.

    “Hm? Oh, God no. None of us are that good yet. That one you heard just awhile ago was made back in 12 B.C..” he explained, the date surprising Ren a little.

    “Sticking with the classics, I take it?” he asked, enticing a chuckle from the young singer.

    “Hmhm, not even. These guys weren’t really that big at all. …I just like them cause their vocalist also had a voice that was…” Onako started, hesitating to get the last word out.

    “That wasss…unique?” Ren suggested.

    “Feminine.” Onako finished, using a tone that ‘blunt’ only began to describe. The semi-cheerful expressions on the faces of his band mates quickly faded after he said this, prompting him to look around at them, proceeding to explain himself once he saw the surprised look on Ren’s face.

    “There’s no point denying it. It’s the truth, after all. …God got tired of giving men masculine voices, so by the time he got to me, he decided to switch things up. …It’s all good.” he insisted, though the coldness in his voice convinced Ren otherwise.

    “Well, if it’s all good, then why-?”

    “You know, Ren, there’s such a thing as sarcasm. …I can’t stand sounding like a chick. It’s made my life shit in more ways than you can imagine. Hell, look around you. …The people sitting around us right now are the first real friends I’ve ever had.” he said bluntly, his aggravation becoming more apparent with every word that spewed from his mouth. He waited until Ren had done as he suggested before continuing, refusing to lift his head or unclench his fist as he spoke.

    “Happened all throughout grade school. ‘Tranny’ this and ‘queer’ that, …all of it came from my dad. Pisses me off so damn much, I could scream-”

    “WHICH he leaves to me.” Caleb interrupted, earning him a large bruise on the back of his head, courtesy of Audrey. Shaking his head in light of his friend’s wholehearted attempt at being a jackass, Onako resumed from where he left off.

    “…By the time I came to this school, I was rolling with a new crowd, so I just decided to be the quiet kid in class. Not show my voice at all, you know? …Wouldn’t make many friends that way, but it beat the hell of getting the hell beat out of you.” he said, lifting his head slightly as he finished. Now entirely sure how to respond, Ren hesitated a short while before turning to Onako’s band mates for further questioning.

    “So, how did you guys end up finding out?” he asked, catching all three of them off guard.

    “Us? Well, it was all Audrey ‘ere. She’d actually known ‘im since they were kids, y’know? Moved away ‘fore he did, though, so he was kinda left alone.” Harper clarified, looking over at the drummer as she picked up where he left off.

    “When I first saw ‘im again at this school after he moved ‘ere, I was so excited. He was kinda surprised that I knew ‘im at first, but after he remembered who I was, we hit it off jus’ like old times. Then, when I joined the band, I told Caleb and Harper about how good he can sing and they told me to let ‘em have a look at ‘im.” she explained to Ren, prompting to look over at her aforementioned band mates.

    “And you guys didn’t make fun of his voice?” he asked, despite already knowing the answer.

    “Well, it was more surprise than anythin’. Didn’t really see nothin’ to laugh about. High-schoolers are jus’ more mature than those little bastards in middle school, I suppose.” Harper replied, smirking a little as the last statement passed through his lips.

    “Try tellin’ ‘im that every so often, but he still walks around school like a zombie.” Caleb added, invoking a smile from even Onako this time around.

    “Well, what do you expect? …Haven’t found much reason to trust the majority of the student body.” Onako said, joking initially, though his voice quickly returned to the dismal tone he had using until now. Feeling a sense of sympathy, Ren quickly stood up and turned around, an action which caught Onako slightly off guard.

    “Well, if it helps at all, Zetsume, you’ve got one other person you don’t need to worry about that with.” he reassured him. Onako hesitated for a moment in surprise, but eventually returned Ren’s smile as he stood up.

    “…Thank you, Ren. And please, just Onako. Just cause I’m Japanese doesn’t mean I bother with all that surname crap.” he requested. To be honest, Ren found the idea somewhat unsettling, since they hardly knew one another, but nonetheless met his demand.

    “Uhhh, yeah, sure. …Onako.”

    They spent another hour staked out on the hour, occasionally playing another song to pass the time, before finally deciding to return home. The building now empty apart from a few custodians, the five students made sure to keep out of sight as they made their way down the stairwells and out the front entrance, at which point Audrey turned to Ren in question.

    “You live far from ‘ere?”

    “Huh?” he answered her, put off somewhat by this seemingly random question.

    “We can give you a ride home if you need one.” Onako proposed, hoping that he might take up the offer so that they could talk together a little longer. To the surprise of both him and his band mates, though, Ren’s reaction to the proposal was much more…frantic, to say the least.

    “Oh, uhhh, no! No, that’s alright! …I’ll just, uhhh, …I’ll see you guys later, I guess.” he shouted before turning around and walking away, trying his best not to seem in a rush. No doubt confused by the hastiness of his actions, the four nonetheless decided it better to let him be, certain that he had his reasons.

    “Alright, then. So long, mate.” Caleb called out, flashing a peace sign as he turned around and made his way over to the school parking lot, followed shortly after by Harper and Audrey. Cutting across the grass as they hurried towards Harper’s van, Audrey looked back momentarily at Onako, who was still standing on the sidewalk seeing Ren off.

    “Good night, Ren.” he said, his voice hardly audible, before running off after his friends.

    The walk to his neighborhood lasted nearly forty-five minutes, quickly realizing that it was a mistake not to have accepted Onako’s offer. Nonetheless, Ren eventually made it back to his home, a three-story manor slightly larger than most of the other estates in the vicinity, a clear indication of just how well off he was. But even the wealthy had their problems, something Ren knew better than most. Walking up to the unreasonably large front door and grabbing the handle, he opened it slowly and stepped inside, slipping off his shoes before making his way across the massive foyer towards the sitting room. Dropping his bag beside the doorway, he took a few steps into the room and found his father Natsuki spread out like a cat over their luxurious sofa, flicking channels with one hand and scratching his short, brown hair with the other. It must’ve been at least three minutes until he finally noticed Ren standing only a few feet away, though he didn’t stare at him long before returning to what he was doing.

    “You certainly took your time. Get held back after class?” he asked, the well-balanced mixture of smugness and nonchalance in his voice forcing his son to hide his gritted teeth and clenched fists.

    “No, I wasn’t, actually. I lost track of time talking to a few friends.” he replied, making his best attempt to match the level of conceit used by his father, who froze before he could press the button on the remote again.

    “Friends…first time I ever heard that one.” he said sardonically before going back to changing channels on the television. His anger elevated even further, Ren opened his mouth to retaliate, stopping and closing it again once he saw his mother Yukino enter from the opposite end of the room. Oven mitts thrown over her hands and a large gray bowl nestled in her arms, she raised one hand to wave to her son, virtually no emotion present in her face. Ren returned the gesture, producing no response from her other than to walk back into the kitchen to finish the meal she was preparing. His anger returning once more, he excused himself from the room before he could act on these feelings.

    “I’m just gonna go study upstairs, if that’s alright.” he said to his father, who didn’t even bother to look up this time.

    “Fine by me. We’ll tell you when dinner’s ready.” he said half-assedly, as if he had no real intention of doing so. Ending their discussion then and there, Ren picked up his bag and walked back out of the room. Spending nearly five minutes scouring the second floor for his bedroom, he quickly stepped inside upon finding it, shutting the door behind him and locking it before dropping his bag on the floor.

    “Don’t bother.” he said quietly as he walked over to his bed and lied down, intent on gazing up at the decorated ceiling for the next two to three hours.



    To Be Continued…
     
         

  2. #2
    Rikudo Sennin ~Uzumaki~'s Avatar
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    The Lord is my light and my
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    Re: Altopolis II (2)

    Interesting. Ren has befriended the band. His father seems rather unpleasant and his mom is ok. Good job man. I wish I could portray characters emotions and feelings this well....>_>

    Keep me posted!
     
         

  3. #3
    Senior Member Chakra Wizard's Avatar
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    Re: Altopolis II (2)

    Quote Originally Posted by Uzumaki16 View Post
    Interesting. Ren has befriended the band. His father seems rather unpleasant and his mom is ok. Good job man. I wish I could portray characters emotions and feelings this well....>_>

    Keep me posted!
    It's characterization, man That's gotta be the top priority lol

    And thanks, man. Hopefully, I can get the next one out sooner
     
         

  4. #4
    Rikudo Sennin ~Uzumaki~'s Avatar
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    Re: Altopolis II (2)

    Quote Originally Posted by chakrawizard555 View Post
    It's characterization, man That's gotta be the top priority lol

    And thanks, man. Hopefully, I can get the next one out sooner
    I feel like that's the one thing missing from my stuff. I can't properly portray a person's anger or joy, or happiness *sigh* I'm bad with feelings...teach me oh Wizard!

    Sorry I couldn't give a detailed review or find mistakes or critique....I suck at that Even if I read the best thing in the world, I don't think I can comment more than two or three sentences...It really was a good chapter man ^_^
     
         

  5. #5
    Senior Member Chakra Wizard's Avatar
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    Re: Altopolis II (2)

    Quote Originally Posted by Uzumaki16 View Post
    I feel like that's the one thing missing from my stuff. I can't properly portray a person's anger or joy, or happiness *sigh* I'm bad with feelings...teach me oh Wizard!

    Sorry I couldn't give a detailed review or find mistakes or critique....I suck at that Even if I read the best thing in the world, I don't think I can comment more than two or three sentences...It really was a good chapter man ^_^
    Personally, I think I could do better on that. My vocabulary's limited to just basic stuff, honestly, and there's only so many synonyms each word has. And it's not really that hard, man Just take the time to elaborate on what expression they have, what they're doing with their hands, the look in their eyes, things like that.

    Well, that probably just means you couldn't find any And yeah, I'm sure that I can, but I'm just too lazy to do that much typing that doesn't involve writing lol I'm sure you're probably the same way
     
         

  6. #6
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    Re: Altopolis II (2)

    Well written, as usual.

    You made a bit of an abrupt jump when Ren went out for a walk in the city and all of a sudden in the following paragraph it was the next day. Maybe give a bit more of a transition than that in the future.

    But that ending tension. Lovely. Make it subtle, bottle it, and wheel it off as best fits. Keep it up dude.
     
         

  7. #7
    Senior Member Chakra Wizard's Avatar
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    Re: Altopolis II (2)

    Quote Originally Posted by Germanicus View Post
    Well written, as usual.

    You made a bit of an abrupt jump when Ren went out for a walk in the city and all of a sudden in the following paragraph it was the next day. Maybe give a bit more of a transition than that in the future.

    But that ending tension. Lovely. Make it subtle, bottle it, and wheel it off as best fits. Keep it up dude.
    Well, it was either that or send him home midway through the chapter, which I didn't wanna do until the end lol

    Thanks a lot, man I was wondering when I might hear some good words from you.
     
         

  8. #8
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    Re: Altopolis II (2)

    I find it amusing how it seems like Ren was dying to escape that intimidating and scary situation only to be confronted just several minutes later. It appears as though Ren wanted this confrontation to occur. Onako’s response was very interesting and what followed even more so. Ren continues to turn down Aiko as he’d rather listen to Onako sing then again perhaps shes simply not his type? Or could it be that Ren has a mancrush on Onako and vise-versa only in Onako’s case, his developed more quickly? Nah, due to the character development, it is revealed why Onako acts in the manner he does and how simply making a new friend is so difficult but when achieved he release his true personality. Wow, so Ren is wealthy but his parents are ice cold towards him and they barely have a relationship between each other. I wonder where this story is headed next ^^

    As always, it was very well written and detailed as well as a pleasant and somewhat amusing read
     
         

  9. #9
    Senior Member Chakra Wizard's Avatar
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    Re: Altopolis II (2)

    Quote Originally Posted by Kuroi Honoo View Post
    I find it amusing how it seems like Ren was dying to escape that intimidating and scary situation only to be confronted just several minutes later. It appears as though Ren wanted this confrontation to occur. Onako’s response was very interesting and what followed even more so. Ren continues to turn down Aiko as he’d rather listen to Onako sing then again perhaps shes simply not his type? Or could it be that Ren has a mancrush on Onako and vise-versa only in Onako’s case, his developed more quickly? Nah, due to the character development, it is revealed why Onako acts in the manner he does and how simply making a new friend is so difficult but when achieved he release his true personality. Wow, so Ren is wealthy but his parents are ice cold towards him and they barely have a relationship between each other. I wonder where this story is headed next ^^

    As always, it was very well written and detailed as well as a pleasant and somewhat amusing read
    The nature of all these relationships will be revealed soon enough And I guess I didn't explicitly state it anywhere, but Etsugata is an altopolis designed specifically for the wealthy. It's basically an enormous wealthy suburb, so yeah, all of them are well-off lol

    Anyways, thanks for the feedback, man
     
         

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    Re: Altopolis II (2)

    Quote Originally Posted by chakrawizard555 View Post
    The nature of all these relationships will be revealed soon enough And I guess I didn't explicitly state it anywhere, but Etsugata is an altopolis designed specifically for the wealthy. It's basically an enormous wealthy suburb, so yeah, all of them are well-off lol

    Anyways, thanks for the feedback, man
    Ah, I can hardly wait for those releationship revealtions lol

    Oh I see, thanks for that insight and you're welcome
     
         

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