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  1. #1
    Eternal Dawn Lightbringer's Avatar
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    Love is strange

    I've been thinking about relationships lately and one thing I don't quite understand is why do some people consider their relationships with their girlfriend/boyfriend more important than those with their actual friends?

    With me personally, I've never felt this way and I've always held my friends in the highest regard; this being because I've known them for over 10 years, we never fought, and I feel a sense of kinship with them.

    We've been through so much together that it is hard to replace that feeling or even take comfort in a significant other.



    Not necessarily with my friends in particular, but just in general, I notice that many a times when a man or women ends up in a relationship, they basically fall of the plant and completely forget their friends.

    This most recently happened to my friend's cousin(who are pretty close friends); he used to hangout with us, then once he got a girlfriend we basically stopped hearing from him.




    I can understand it's hard to make time for both, but I don't understand how one can prioritize something like that. When in a relationship, it always feels so constrained. There are expectations most of the time.

    -Going on dates
    -Respecting each other
    -Watching movies together
    -Anniversaries
    -Texting(Ugh)
    -Maintaining a certain quality of appearance


    But when with friends, at least with mine, you can just hangout just to hangout without having any expectations. You don't always have to be doing something fun and interesting; having a beer together is enough. You can talk about things you can't really say with your significant other and you can make a fool of yourself and laugh it off together.

    Most of the times, relationships are fleeting and temporary, whereas friendship is long-lasting.


    So I just can't understand how some people consider their temporary significant other more important than their long-lasting friends, even going as far as to ruin some friendships because of them.

    Why are people so concerned with dating(aside for lustful reasons)?

    But what's even more ironic is when someone is married, it's the complete opposite of everything I've mentioned.

    I just wanted to get your point of views
     
         

  2. #2
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    Re: Love is strange

    You sound like an MGTOW (and that's good :p).
     
         

  3. #3
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    Re: Love is strange

    uh huh..hm...
    IDK
     
         

  4. #4
    愛 の 酒女神 Diclonius's Avatar
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    Re: Love is strange

    Honestly the answer to your question is "your friends don't put out." Well...some do, but you may want to stop hanging out with them when you start a serious relationship. Other reasons include infatuation. When you are in those early stages of a relationship you are consumed by them. Once you're married and stable the infatuation begins to wear off.
     
         
    Last edited by Diclonius; 07-18-2014 at 09:03 PM.

  5. #5
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    Re: Love is strange

    Those people never stay happy in life who abandon their friends.
     
         

  6. #6
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    Re: Love is strange

    If you really love someone then those things you listed as obligations aren't a bother but something you pretty much look forward to the most...
     
         

  7. #7
    Eternal Dawn Lightbringer's Avatar
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    Re: Love is strange

    Quote Originally Posted by Diclonius View Post
    Honestly the answer to your question is "your friends don't put out." Well...some do, but you may want to stop hanging out with them when you start a serious relationship. Other reasons include infatuation. When you are in those early stages of a relationship you are consumed by them. Once your married and stable the infatuation begins to wear off.
    I don't get what you mean by "your friends don't put out"?
     
         

  8. #8
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    Re: Love is strange

    It's nice to have someone of the opposite sex who you're attracted to (not necessarily physically) to do stuff with. Going out on dates is fun. It's a different type of fun than hanging out with guy friends. I guess I would say it's a different type of affection and ambience. Your friend's cousin ditching you guys isn't cool, though.
     
         

  9. #9
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    Re: Love is strange

    Quote Originally Posted by Lightbringer View Post
    I don't get what you mean by "your friends don't put out"?
    they mean sex
     
         

  10. #10
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    Re: Love is strange

    before you can be my boyfriend, you must be my friend. Significant others should not only be your friend, but they should be your best friend.
     
         

  11. #11
    Eternal Dawn Lightbringer's Avatar
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    Re: Love is strange

    Quote Originally Posted by Yusuke Urameshi View Post
    It's nice to have someone of the opposite sex who you're attracted to (not necessarily physically) to do stuff with. Going out on dates is fun. It's a different type of fun than hanging out with guy friends. I guess I would say it's a different type of affection and ambience. Your friend's cousin ditching you guys isn't cool, though.
    Yeah it was, I wasn't really close with him though.

    I did just remember something that happened in highschool where Me and one of my close friends were in a relationship and my ex starting spreading rumors about his ex and that caused a stir between us(we luckily worked it out peacefully)

    but it's like I said, some people ruin their friendship that has been established for many years over a girl they've met a few months ago.
     
         

  12. #12
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    Re: Love is strange

    We'll for starters you don't plan on spending the rest of your life with your friends. When you date a girl(or guy) your really trying to figure out if you could start a life with this person. And honestly if you were as good a friend as you claim you'll be around when this phase in their life wears off. Just be patient. Also... People are strange, when your a stranger....
     
         

  13. #13
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    Re: Love is strange

    In actuallity, your relationships should be kinda like if your were with your friends, except that person is someone you want to make a new life and family with. Personally, my friends are only people I would consider family, and that itself is a high regard. What I'm getting at is that your significant other is supposed to be the one friend that you want a forever with in the same home.
     
         

  14. #14
    Eternal Dawn Lightbringer's Avatar
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    Re: Love is strange

    Quote Originally Posted by yahiko24 View Post
    they mean sex
    she said "your friends don't put out." Why would my friends have sex with me lol
     
         

  15. #15
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    Re: Love is strange

    I'm no expert, but the way I see it, the bond between the coulpe is stronger than the friendship bonds. Couples usually know most things to know about each other in a very intimate level. On the other hand, close friends know a lot about each other as well, but not on the same level.

    I guess that makes the relationship stronger and increases it's importance to the couple, many times surpassing friendship's.
    But it's not that they are abandoning or betraying their friend. A relationship is usually very imporant, so you gotta understand the behavior.

    I would say that love doesn't even need to be involved. It's just the romantic relationship itself.

    But then again, "bros before hoes"(thought this was the perfect moment for this)
     
         

  16. #16
    ツ☯NB'S LEGEND☯ ツ Raphael sannin's Avatar
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    Re: Love is strange

    This is the minds of society today, we all face certain temptations, tragedies and troubles.
    Love is something one can't get, but one can achieve it.
    when you have a girl friend or wife, there's responsibility.
     
         
    Last edited by Raphael sannin; 07-18-2014 at 09:17 PM.

  17. #17
    kiss shot acerola orion yahiko24's Avatar
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    Re: Love is strange

    Quote Originally Posted by Lightbringer View Post
    she said "your friends don't put out." Why would my friends have sex with me lol
    yes they don't have sex with you, they don't put out
     
         

  18. #18
    ᴀɴᴜʙɪs's Avatar
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    Re: Love is strange

    Commitment of the relationship pushes aside the bond you once had with friends and family. The saying "love makes you do crazy things" is not far off. That is what happens, you fall in love. It blinds you to the point of no being self-aware of what potential harm it may cause in your life.... I am not an expert on the subject so I am going to leave it at that.


    Why are people so concerned with dating (aside for lustful reasons)?

    I consider dating as a distraction which take you away from worldly problems. It is on a more intimate level you share with your partner. It can also be beneficial to your life. It has its up and downs.
     
         
    Last edited by ᴀɴᴜʙɪs; 07-18-2014 at 09:20 PM.

  19. #19
    Eternal Dawn Lightbringer's Avatar
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    Re: Love is strange

    Quote Originally Posted by straightup View Post
    We'll for starters you don't plan on spending the rest of your life with your friends. When you date a girl(or guy) your really trying to figure out if you could start a life with this person. And honestly if you were as good a friend as you claim you'll be around when this phase in their life wears off. Just be patient. Also... People are strange, when your a stranger....
    I don't know. I remember when I was younger I dreamed of one day being married and having a family. But after having a few relationships and being the way I currently am, I can't see myself ever settling down.

    It's just not who I am. I can't really get a sense of connection with my partners as harsh as that may sound. As weird as it is, I do wish to have a child, but I wish I could raise him without having a wife or something.
     
         

  20. #20
    愛 の 酒女神 Diclonius's Avatar
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    Re: Love is strange

    Quote Originally Posted by Lightbringer View Post
    I don't get what you mean by "your friends don't put out"?
    I meant that your friends don't have sex with you. Usually. Never underestimate the power of sex; strongest jutsu to exist in our world. And I wouldn't worry about your cousin. When the infatuation wears down he'll be back.
     
         

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