Re: ♦ Custom Jutsu Submission ♦
(Hyouton: Reitō haiki-Mono no Dansu)-Ice Release: Dance of the Frozen Wastes
Type: Offensive, Defensive
Chakra Cost: 50
Damage Points: 90 (-20 to user due to chakra loss)
Description: The user will make three hand seals, and upon completing them, they release a great surge of ice chakra from their body. As the chakra leaves their body, they shall manipulate it so that the chakra takes on the shape of thousands of razor sharp, but small shards of ice. The shards of ice will move a short distance away from the user and form a bubble around themselves. If the user desires, the bubble does not have to be a full 360 degrees around themselves, thus, should they be standing on the ground, they are able to just have the bubble seemingly be right on top of the ground, rather then have it pass through it. This bubble will be several inches thick, and the shards of ice will be constantly moving around the edge of the bubble, thus giving the bubble a swirling appearance. Any normal object or person that comes into contact with the bubble will be cut to such a thorough level that it will appear as if the bubble ground the object/limb into nothingness (unless the object/limb is of a high enough rank that it is able to overpower the bubble), although the ice turns red due to the blood. By slightly altering the movement of the ice shards, the user is able to create small openings to allow themselves to see outside the bubble, as it is normally impossible to do so, unless one should have a byakugan. While this bubble is active, the user will be unable to perform any other jutsu. By making a single hand seal, the user is able to manipulate all of the shards in the bubble to move at a target with a high rate of speed and accuracy. When the shards are sent forth, they will part around the users body, thus leaving the user unharmed, and continuing on at the target. Should the target be hit by the shards, just as earlier stated, they shall be seemingly cut on such a thorough level that they appear to be ground into nothingness, although the ice turns red due to the blood. After travelling a mid range, the ice shards simply fade away into nothingness.
Note: Can only be used once per battle.
Note: After this technique is used, the user will be unable to perform any ice jutsu for full two turns.
Note: After this technique is used, the user will be unable to perform S-Rank or above water or wind jutsu for the following turn.
Note: After this technique, the user will be exhausted and will have slower reflexes the turn after it is used.
Note: The bubble can be active for a maximum of two turns, including the one it was created. If it is still active at the end of the second turn, it will simply fade away.
Note: Can only be taught by Inch.
~Declined~ Two things I need you to clarify in your resubmission: can you control the shards when you direct them at your opponent or will they fly toward him in a straight, unalterable line? Secondly, how could the shards destroy any object (or even your opponent) if their density is higher than the ice? Ice couldn't possibly cut through diamond or steel. Oh wait, one last thing, why is it forbidden? I see you've added a lot of restrictions, but the description of the technique doesn't explain why it should be forbidden...it doesn't seem to be dangerous for the user to use.
(Hyouton: Yuki no Suishin Gijutsu)-Ice Release: Snow Propulsion Technique
Chakra Cost: 25
Damage Points: N/A
Description: The user will stream chakra through their feet and into the snow they are standing on. They will then use their chakra to manipulate the snow so that it suddenly moves and pushes the user into the air at a great raid of speed. The user is able to control at which angle they are propelled, though they do have to be propelled in the air. To use this technique, the user must have a reasonable amount of snow to be standing on. For example, if the snow the user was created by snow falling from the sky, the ground must be effectively covered in snow: a slight dusting obviously won't work.
~Declined~ A similar technique already exist but with another element.
Originally Posted by Inch
(Hyoton: Reitō no Kami no Hari Chiryō)-Ice Release: Acupuncture of the Frozen Gods
Rank: S Rank
Chakra Cost: 40
Damage Points: 80
Description: The user touches his index finger to his thumb and focuses their ice chakra between them, and creates a needle made of ice. The user then focuses a great surge of ice chakra into the needle, and manipulates the shape of the needle to rapidly elongate in a straight direction at a high speed. The tip of the needle is extremely pointy and sharp, thus allowing it to pierce skin/objects quite easily. Because it is a needle and is very thin, if the needle were to be pointed at someone since it was created, they would have no way of knowing it was there, unless they had a doujutsu or some other chakra sensing ability. Because the needle is very thing and made out of ice, it is very brittle. As a result of this, it is weaker when attacked from the side, and thus, when an object of B-Rank or above that has shattering capabilities (IE taijutsu, earth jutsu, anything that can shatter ice, really) hits it from the side, although this does not hold true if the object hits the needle head on.
Note: Can only be used twice per battle.
Note: Can only be taught by Inch
I removed the first restriction, as I feel like the bolded part at the bottom makes it far less powerful. Feel free to edit any numbers/specifications on this if you think they're off. :\
~Declined~ I have one last problem with this technique...it's basically a one hit K.O if you don't have a doujutsu. It's fast, impossible to see, and let's face it, it won't make a whole lot of sound. You need to either take away that part or alter it (very hard to see, impossible to see when slightly dark outside...etc).