TOAGJ My New Caliper
Han stood, frozen, the Akatsuki member behind him.
???: That was a Steam jutsu, wasn't it?
Han: I have no idea what you're talking about.
Gobi (To Han): They're not morons, you moron. FIGHT!!!
Han spun around just in time to see a fist hit his armored chest. The first retrated on its threads back to its owner.
???: Looks like you are up for a fight.
Kisame: You killed off your entire clan?
Pain: Sasori, Orochimaru, you two may leave now.
Sasori (H): Right. Come along now, my puppet.
Sasori lead Orochimaru out of the 'room' in the cave they were in while Kisame stared down the new recruit with Pain standing between them.
???: My entire clan.
Pain: That's not the story I got.
The new member whipped his head towards Pain.
???: I told you nothing; what makes you think that's not the story?
Pain: I have spies everywhere; now tell the true story.
The man began to fiddle with a shuriken, trying to decide if he should tell the real story.
???: ... Fine.
He said, abruptly stopping the shuriken's movements.
???: I allowed my little brother live. Are you happy?
Kisame: Wait! You killed off your entire family; everyone who was closest to you, except some little KID!?!? Wow! I don't think you're quite Akatsuki materia-
Before Kisame could finish his sentance, he was trapped within a genjutsu of unmesurable caliper.
???: I'd be quiet if I were you.
The man cut off Kisame's head a thousand times in a second, every time it comming back so he could sever it again.
???: I am Itachi Uchiha, and don't you forget my name.
Itachi's eyes (which were normal to Kisame until this point) became Mangekyo and Kisame began to burn. He began to burn in a mysterious black flame. Kisame was dropped out of Tsukuyomi, and fell to his knees, panting. Pain raised an eyebrow.
Itachi: It's what I do best.
Pain: I see...
Han emitted a fireball towards the Akatsuki member. His arm detatched and the threads which held it on parted to let the fireball through.
Han: How freaky can you get?
Gobi (To Han): Focus!
Han (To Gobi): I AM!!
Gobi (To Han): UNDER YOU!!!
Han looked down to see another Akatsuki ninja comming out of the grounds, a kunai about to tear through his armor. Han leapt out of the way, a large tear at the back of his right leg, but only armor deep, with a very light cut (no blood).
Han (To Gobi): Why are you helping me!? I thought jinchuriki's and their bijuu's were supposed to be enemies!
Gobi (To Han): They don't have to be.
Han grabbed the thread Akatsuki's fist and punched him in the face as he drew himself closer to Han.
Gobi (To Han): And I would rather not get taken away by those Akatsuki jerks who will seal me away forever.
???: Hey, kid! Just come with us, and this'll be nice and quick.
Han looked up at the second Akatsuki to see his headband. It was an Stone village headband with a scratch through the middle.
???: What? What are you looking at!?
???: I don't know,
The Akatsuki at Han's feet came up with an uppercut, sending Han flying a few meters.
???: but he should've been looking down.
Han pushed himself up into a shaky stance, turning all of his energy into not letting the bijuu chakra leak out.
Gobi (To Han): What are you doing? I can help you.
Han (To Gobi): Let me handle this. I just became a jinchuriki yesterday, so they can't know what I look like, and I haven't used your chakra yet.
Gobi (To Han): But they saw you use my Steam Style.
Han: Guy's, I'm not a jinchuriki. Just leave me alone.
???: You're obviously the five-tailed host; we saw the Steam Style.
Han: That's just a Kekkei Genkai. Honestly, I don't have the Gobi.
???: Even if you didn't have the Gobi, we couldn't just let you go.
???: Yeah. We'd have to have our leader look you over.
As the Stone ninja spoke, he cleanched his hand into a fist and relaxed it over and over again, earth forming in his knuckles as he clenched his fists and crumbling off as he relaxed it.
Han: (Whisper) I know who you are.
Han: You're the Stone village's Stone Golem; Genzo Dratur.
Genzo: You sure know your history, kid; that was a long time ago.
???: So he know's your abilities, does he? This is why we should've destroyed our old villages.
Genzo: Be quiet, Kakuzu!
Han (To himself): The Stone Golem could draw dust particles from the air and manipulate it into Earth Style jutsu, his most famous being an impeircable, solid stone armor with no cracks or joints or weak spots; not even S-classed Lightning jutsu could penitrate it! How am I supposed to fight someone like that?
Gobi (To Han): You don't let them use that jutsu.
Kakuzu: Well, are we gunna talk, or are we gunna fight!?!?
Kakuzu's masks became four black monsters, ready to tear this possible-jinchuriki limb from limb.
Genzo: Since you seem to know so much about me...
Dust began to collect around Genzo.
Genzo: I shouldn't give you an oppertunity to attack!
Kakuzu stood with his black monsters near him, and Genzo stood in his invincible armor, ready to beat Han an inch from death, and take him back to Pain.
Genzo: Don't get in my way.
Kakuzu: Only if you don't die like the others.
Kisame finally was able to push himself up, but Itachi had left.
Kisame: Where's Itachi?
Pain: He left a while ago. If you want to find him, I think I know where he went...
Kisame found Itachi sitting at the end of a bridge.
Kisame: Itachi Uchiha?
Kisame: I'll be your partner from now on. I'm Kisame Hoshigaki, formerly of the Mist village and one of the Seven Swordsmen.
Itachi pushed himself to his feet.
Itachi: I will be your senior member.
Itachi: It's what the dude with the spikey orange hair said; I was able to take you down so easily with one move, I'll be your senior member from now on.
Itachi put a hand on Kisame's shoulder.
Itachi: But don't worry, all of that hard stuff that comes with being in charge is up to me now, not you. You can take it easy and relax.
Kisame tried to cut Itachi in half with Samehada, but Itachi blocked it with a regular katana and began to burn the handle with Amatratsu.
Kisame: What the-!?
Kisame dropped his sword.
Kisame: That was a real jutsu!?!? I thought it was just in that genjutsu.
Itachi: It's very real,
Itachi walked by Kisame, putting out the black flames.
Itachi: and it's unavoidable. I'd be nice to your senior member, if I were you.