Inside Stories: Theos (3)
A Production of Screw You Studios. The Creators of Naruto My Style, Life on Streets and Ending Lines. We, Kagutsuchi, Faust and Nocturnal Present
It’s a Reality TV Show, where This Trio will Barge into Narutobase’s Members House and will Interview them till their ass is kicked out of house.
Faust - Camera Man
Nocturnal – Interviewer
Kagutsuchi – Interrogator
Links to Previous Chapters:
~All of the three friends are in the ghetto rapist van and are on the road to the next adventure~
Kagutsuchi: Well, the last visit was no good at all…
Faust: You were saying? :mad:
Kagutsuchi: It’s not like anything that horrible happened, you were played with a bit and that’s all. >.>
~Suddenly it’s a dead silence and Faust takes out a huge joint from below the seats, and starts to smoke it, then passes to Nocturnal.~
Nocturnal: ~Hysterically~ Goddamn, what was in that shit, man? I never had no dope like that in my life. I smoked a lot of shit before, man, but goddamn, man, that's heavy shit.
Faust: You’ll be alright, it’ll wear off…
Nocturnal: I’m going to die, man!
Faust: Hey, am I driving okay?
Kagutsuchi: I think we’re parked.
~Faust looks out the window and sees that the van has hit a pole.~
Kagutsuchi: One week has passed to our visit to Hellsbadass’ House, We haven’t found Theos’ Home. Our TRP rating will go down and Now we have hit the Pole. Damn you Faust.
~They hop out of the van and as the doors opens, Nocturnal falls out of it. Kagutsuchi helps him up and they walk towards the Desert, Faust stays back and takes out the equipment from the back, and some guns if there is a case of a sexual assault again~
Nocturnal: *Hick* I want to Pee. NOW!
~Nocturnal Unzips and starts peeing on the Sand. Suddenly a Board comes out of the sand with the warning flashing in neon lights “It’s “Bathetic” that you’re peeing on the sand. It smells awful. It’s “Hursh” to Pee at someone’s Roof. It leaks down here.~
Kagutsuchi (Thinks): “Bathetic” and “Hursh”
Kagutsuchi: Hey Guys, We actually found the retard!, Theos lives in some kind of Bunker.
~They Stomp on the ground and an Underground Entrance opens up, Faust joins them as they go inside~
Kagutsuchi: Does Theos really own this place, it looks pretty nice for a jobless retard...
~They Find a Door inside the Underground layer~
Nocturnal: That Made me sober, I love Peeing on the sand.
~As he says that, Faust rings the door bell which starts to play a tune: "I wanna take you to a gay bar.." and a fat guy in a clone makeup opens the door.~
Mrs. Dad: The F`ck you want?
Kagutsuchi: We are looking for... ~Looks at papers~ Thoes?
Mrs. Dad: It`s Theos, and who wrote that? Must be retarded to get the name wrong.
Kagutsuchi: Theos did.
Mrs. Dad: Oh, what do you need my son for?
Kagutsuchi & Nocturnal: Your wha?!
Mr. Dad: He is our son ~Starts kissing Mrs. Dad in a deep homosex French kiss.~
Kagutsuchi & Nocturnal: Oh God... ~They both stand back as they arch their bodies forward, indicating they have the urge to puke.~
Faust: Could you please take that shit somewhere else?! Jeez, F`cking Homos. We are here to talk to your Son, we are from a TV Show, he is gonna be on TV.
Mr. Dad & Mrs. Dad: What`s a TV?
Faust: That box where you watch Brokeback Mountain and Elton John`s concerts.
Mr. Dad: Oh, that, yeah Theos is inside with his buddy.
Faust: What buddy?
Mrs. Dad: We don’t know, he brings friends all the time.
Faust: Oh, we will get going then.
~Faust picks up the Camera and equipment as he heads inside the underground...”Something" with bravery burning in his yes, the 2 others follow as they look around hysterically.~
Nocturnal: I am telling you, if we get trapped and raped by Mr. and Mrs. Homo***, I am blaming it on you Kagutsuchi!
Nocturnal: It was your idea...”Will be fun” my ass, if we die I am making you pay for my children`s lunch money!
Faust: Hey! You two, quit *****ing there, I see a door.
Nocturnal: You are gonna see a lot of those in your life, inform me if you see a Humpback whale, that would be weird.
Faust: Smartass, I think they are in there.
~The 3 Fine gentlemen approach the door, as Faust puts his ear on the door.~
Random Voices: Not that fast! It hurts! No! You are getting it wrong again! UH! den how shuld me put its?? HOW ABOUT YOU DONT TRY WITH THAT BOTTLE? bottle iz much fan!! It`s too ****ing big you idiot!
Faust: Well, they are certainly busy in there.
Nocturnal: Doing what?
Faust: You don’t wanna know..
Kagutsuchi: I do!
Faust: My guess is, gay buttsecks.
Kagutsuchi: Oh..wait, is he having buttsecks with himself?
Faust: No Idea, although the second voice sounded familiar too...
Nocturnal: Should we give them some privacy?
Faust: Screw that!
~Faust runs towards the door, holding his shoulder up, as he is about to slam into it, the door opens, revealing a naked Theos and Faust falls on him, both slammed to the ground, Faust on top.~
Faust: Oh, something broke my fal....HOLLY SHIT! WHAT THE **** MAN! GET OFF OF ME! OHH DEAR LORD! OH GOD NO!
-Faust`s Inner Thoughts-
“Calm Down now....This is just a dream...we are not on a naked guy..we are not grinding on a penis...we are not homosex, come on, we can go through this, like the last time...”
Theos: you iz cute ^-^.
Faust: NO! NO! NO! F`CKING NO!
Nocturnal: ~Giggles~ You appeal to Gay people...xuxu
Faust: NO! SHUT UP! SHUT THE F`CK UP!
~Faust gets up hysterical as he starts cleaning himself, he reaches for some wet tissues from his bag and hysterically scrapes himself clean, he then gets in a Yoga position and closes his eyes.~
Kagutsuchi: What is he doing?
Nocturnal: I think they taught him that in his Therapy...
Kagutsuchi: Right...ok, so.
Theos: what you gais doing in my haus?
Nocturnal: We are trying to put you on TV, we run a series called “Inside Stories”, we just interview people. We would also appreciate it if you had clothes on you.
Nocturnal*Inner Thoughts*: Why Am I always the one to tell people to put clothes on?
Theos: okei, whatevers you sai
~Theos goes back into the room and puts some clothes on, mini jeans with a rainbow colored Top~
Theos*shouts*: huney, cum out, is not teh police
~A person uncovers himself from inside the bed Sheets, and starts walking towards Nocturnal and Faust~
Nocturnal: Who is that?
Nocturnal: TELL ME!
Nero: Hi guys!
Kagutsuchi: What are you doing here?
Nero: I am here with my Fiance
~Nero walks towards Theos and spanks his ass~
Theos: Uwww, u kinkeh basterdd
Kagutsuchi: Who would have guessed >.> Both Pathetic at English are Sleeping together.
Theos: huh? u got teh word wrongh, its bathetic, go lern sum englishh ferst
Kagutsuchi: =|, Yeah Riiight.
Theos: no, lookie here : ~Theos brings a Spelling Bee Diploma~ I haz dis, so haves better grammerz den u.
Kagutsuchi: I don’t believe you..
~Kagutsuchi takes the Diploma in his hands and starts reading.~
“This is a Diploma, for the worst Contestant we have ever had. He is Simply Pathetic, and we don’t believe what we did was too Harsh, since he can’t read Properly he`ll think this is a Winning Diploma.”
~Kagutsuchi starts rolling on the floor, laughing his buttocks off, as he shows the diploma to the other 2, which in their turn roll on the floor laughing their buttocks off.~
Nero: Why are they laughing?
Theos: they are simply to bathetic, thei wuldnt know a more intelligenter person even if he felled on their hedz
Nero: Shoe them out then!
~Theos pulls a lever and evil tentacles start chasing the 3 companions out~
Nocturnal*Running*: WHY DOES HE KEEP THAT THING?!
Faust*Running with Camera Equipment Falling off*: PLEASURE?!
Kagutsuchi*Running Like hell*: SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT!!!!!!!
~All Caps Rage~
Next Time: The Lord of Darkness!