Re: Custom Mangekyo Sharingan Submittion Thread
( Doujutsu: Bachihari ) Eye Technique: Accursed Acunpuncture
Originally Posted by Lili-Chwan
Rank: Forbidden Rank
Chakra cost: 70
Damage Points: 120 (-30 to the user)
Descripton: Isabella's Mangekyo Sharingan's physical ninjutsu is know as Bachihari, the ability to materialize endless and numerous absolute-piercing needles. The jet-black needles of the Bachihari, said pierce the death itself, are materialized at the focus of the user's vision. This depiction is somewhat linked to the fact that, because of the damage produced in ones eyes, as Isabella closes her eyes and prepares to use Bachihari, tears of blood flow through her face.
The black needles lack momentum and, contrary to Amateratsu, parasitic abilities, but have a very high impact, able to pierce through any and all materials, energy or physical alike with enormous ease. Instead of working by igniting the focal point and have it spread, the Bachihari works by creating a fast succession of endless needles, which quickly spread outwards the more time the user focus on a point, thus increasing the affected area to human-length diameter holes in a pair of seconds.
Though the needles seem unavoidable (since they are not a projectile but "happen" on focal point), this has been proven as false. While quite hard to avoid, its been proven that ninjas with enhanced speed and reactions (such as Third and Fourth Raikage in Lightning Armor) when facing the user can move out of the focal point before the needles materialize in enough number and length to cause harm. This is related to the short size and pinpoint area of effect of each needle. The needles will always begin to appear in a constricted and superficial area of the target, before that area is spread out and deepen by the materialized mass of needles that follow.
Also, its been noticed that Dojutsu users (3 Tomoe Sharingan, Rinnegan, Byakugan) and skilled chakra sensors can see/feel the overflow and increasing chakra pressure in the eye, right before Bachihari is used, but that in itself is not enough to dodge or block it, as the target would need to move faster than the user can focus her eye on it. Another thing that has been shown capable of blocking Bachihari are "sentient" automated defenses, like Gaara's sand shield. By coming between the user and his target, a fast enough defense can block the intended focal point (the enemy) and defend him from the black flames, as long as it and completely blocks the users line of sight and is broad enough to endure layer after layer of needles.
Alternatively, the user can start materializing needles in the periphery of her vision around the focal point, and then stretch inwards, enclosing in on the target, this will make it harder to dodge but easier to detect.
Note: Requires the user to have his MS active
Note: Can only be used 3 times and reduces MS duration by 2 turns each use
Note: Cannot be dodged unless the user has an ability that fits the ones described
Note: Sentient beings experience excruciating pain and damage as if they're being pierced by blazingly hot needles.
Edit: I revamped the whole technique while keeping the concept and workings of it the same. I did it in order to fit the new cannon MS techniques, modeling my technique's structure after the new Amateratsu technique, and to specify the technique itself. I bolded the new additions and further specifications of existing abilities, but I did re-write the whole jutsu as a whole. The restrictions are basically the same as the cannon techniques, with a few exceptions (For example, Amateratsu limit is 4 usages, this is 3).
±± Declined ±± Ok, if they lack momentum, how can they have great impact? Here and there there are minor inconsistencies. For example, you speak of black flames and you try to alter the limits of Amaterasuto amke it seem that this is in fact unavoidabole. One example is saying that you can move out of the way before ENOUGH needles materialize. This means you cannot move out of the way before ANY needles materialize. You see where I'm going with this right? Also, the longer you focus, the more needles appear. Ok, thats ok. The more needles spread out. Ok. But, I won't approve that the needle gets larger and makes a gigantic hole in the person. I mean, if hit by Amaterasu,. you can still manage some rudimentary defense. But you're taking that all out with your technique. That last bit of the description I colored, needs to go. Also, as long as something makes it inbetween the user and his target, it will save the target. The idea is awesome though.
(Doujutsu: Kuchisake-onna) - Eye Technique: Heinous Concubine
Chakra Cost: 120 (-30 per turn)
Damage Points: N/A (-20 to user per turn)
Kuchisake-onna, also known as the Heinous Concubine, or literally "Slit-Mouthed Woman", is the third ability granted by the Accursed Sun Mangekyō Sharingan, equivalent to Susanoo, to those who awaken the abilities: Kamiranshi — the immolation of the mind and Bachihari — the mutilation of the body. It creates a gigantic, humanoid, ethereal mistress that surrounds the user. As one of the strongest techniques granted to those that have acquired the Mangekyō Sharingan, it is the user's guardian deity, but at the same time, it consumes the user's life. Even though it envelopes the user, she can move around within Kuchisake-onna freely, use techniques from inside of it, as well as manifest only parts of Kuchisake-onna — as the situation calls for it. Despite Kuchisake-onna's impressive defensive capabilities, the protection it grants its user is not absolute. The user can be thrown out of the upper half of Kuchisake-onna by an enemy manipulating the substance underneath Kuchisake-onna (the ground basically). This was seen when Gaara used his sand to pull Madara out of his Susanoo. Also, a sufficiently powerful attack will still result in damage, especially during the technique's developmental stages. The only known ways to attack the user while Kuchisake-onna is active is either to draw the wielder out of the technique and then attack, bind and restrict its movements, or to break the defense with overwhelming force. The user of Kuchisake-onna is also vulnerable to attacks which don't actually deal physical damage to it, such as strong lights and sounds, that can also impair their ability to sustain it. Sound-based genjutsu can also bypass Kuchisake-onna's impressive defense. Kuchisake-onna appears as a majestically beautiful dark woman with a crimson red kimono and a floating shawl. Her long hair floats along her body, in sensual locks of raven hair. Her lips are covered by silky smooth mask up to her nose and her face is framed with blood-toned magatama earrings. While she appears to wear no armor, her defense pales to no other Susanoo. While beautiful, she transcends an eerie and horrific aura about her, especially to enemies looking straight into her eyes and face. Common to all Susannos, she possesses 4 arms in her complete form, with long and sharp black nails, which she uses to slash and impale her opponents. Her hair can be controlled at will, which she uses as both a shield and a weapon. Similar to the Sword of Totsuka, Kuchisake-onna's hair is capable of sealing anyone and anything it pierces up to Long range. Victims of the hair are trapped in a genjutsu-like "world of mutilated nightmares" for as long as the user wishes. Unlike the victims of the sword, once trapped within the world, they will see Kuchisake-onna's true face, mask-less, showing the horrible mutilation of her face, a slit-Glasgow smile carved into her face, and demonic eyes piercing their soul. Instead of a drunken-dream-like state, the trapped opponents are met with constant mutilation, trapped within the hair, in constant scream of agony. Joining the horrible choir damned souls already trapped within the hair of Kuchisake-onna. It is also able to utilise a variation of the generic weapon of all Susanoo, a sword resembling a curved dagger, while in its incomplete form.
Kuchisake-onna is able to use the Yasaka no Magatama Technique, similarly to Madara's and Itachi's Susanoo. Stretching two arms, she is able to create several Magatama interconnected through a flowing and nearly invisible. They seemingly flow chaotically around her, attacking sporadically and independently from each other, changing direction in mid-air or retracting after the damage output.
Note: Can only be used by Isabella Uchiha with MS active
Note: While active user can't use Eye Techniques except for Bachihari and those pertaining to Kuchikame-onna.
Note: Takes 1 full turn to stabilize into the full final form, during which his body bestows only a B-Rank defense.
Note: The body of Susanoo grants an A-Rank defense almost perfect against most elemental attacks, specially tangible ones.
Note: The Hair of Kuchisake-onna can seal off any technique or chakra regardless of nature and rank or any enemy if it pierces it, once per turn. In the case that the user seals an enemy, the enemy will be kept seal in the nightmarish world for as long as the user wishes and can only escape if he so decides to.
Note: With full Kuchisake-onna active the user is only able to use two other techniques per turn due to the extreme chakra consumption and can't make clones of any kind.
Note: User can manifest it partially (an Arm, or a leg, only the ribcage, etc) 4 times per battle, with each partial manifestation lasting only a moment and having an A-Rank defensive/offensive power.
Note: Can only be used once and last for a maximum of 6 turns after which the user will be left blind in both eyes and extremely exhausted.
±± Declined ±± The description is ok. And the Guardian herself is good. However, the hair ability is just a copy of the sword of totsuka with the yama mirror together into one. I can't approve that. However, following the logic of Susanoo and its abilities relating to each user, the same way sasuke's susanoo is related to his mastery over amaterasu, why not make her hair related to your needle technique? You also need to rank her attack power in terms of nails and katana. The Magatama use is a no no. To make a custom Susanoo you are forsakening the use of all cannon MS techniques related to the 3 techniques. I will talk to Caliburn though about it. Also, why not make her gaze, since its so fearfull have some sort of Genjutsu attack? perhaps the lack of magatama may be compensated with something else you can add and develop in her abilities, like making her hair shoot in needles or something of the sort. I'm throwing ideas out there so you can see where i think you should take this.
Originally Posted by Lili-Chwan
(Doujutsu: Kamiranshi) - Eye Technique: Divine Immolation
Originally Posted by Lili-Chwan
Rank: Forbidden rank
Chakra Cost: 70
Damage Points: 120 (-20 to user per use)
Description: One of the basic techniques awoken with Accursed Sun MS, replacing Tsukuyomi. Kamiranshi is the ultimate torture genjutsu, even considering Tsukuyomi's time and space bending abilities. Kamiranshi is about delivering pain in it's most gruesome and excruciating way. It is the bending of pure and total pain. Although it would be described as being burned alive, both your body and your soul, but it deepens, burning everyone differently, as it would pain them the most, bringing or creating memories or emotions that intensify the burning. The pain created is so massive that it locks the mind of the opponent in itself, dwelling in fire, preventing the genjutsu's pain from releasing the genjutsu itself, despite surpassing lengths over the limit of illusionary pain, far more than any other genjutsu. Although having no power to bend time/space like Tsukyomi, Kamiranshi has unique parasitic properties, as it will latch to anything mentally connected to the target through chakra, such as Shadow Clones, Summoned Animals, Bijuu, or even people chakra linked to the opponent through a technique, such as Sakon and Ukon's KG or Yamanaka Clan's Ability. Because of these characteristics, this genjutsu can be disrupted by a third party, but only by the insertion of chakra of a person not linked to the target, after the genjutsu has been cast. If it's prior, the person will be affected as well. This is also accountable as a way to counter genjutsu placed on the opponent, or when the aforementioned abilities are placed on the user, burning them and the opponent simultaneously. This is how it stands against Tsukuyomi users, similar how Tsukuyomi users stand against others. Finally the bending of pain has effects stronger than mere genjutsu. All the emotions and memories created to enhance the pain instile a sense of phobia that is carved into the target's mind, against fire, sharingan and Isabella herself. This ranges from paralisis to only a slight hesitation (less or equal than 2 ranks lower than the user to less or equal than 1 rank higher than the user).
Note: Requires direct Eye Contact and the user to have MS active
Note: Each use reduces the duration of MS by 2 turns
Note: If the target doesn't possess at least a 3 Tomoe Sharingan, he is left disabled.In the absence of a third party, the opponent needs to fight the genjutsu with equally strong techniques (Genjutsu preferrebly).
Note: Doesn't work on enemies who have MS/EMS active and use their own Tsukuyomi to counter
Note: The jutsu can be recreated by other ninjas in it's simplest form, simply the ilusion of burning pain, with eye contact or 1 handseal. It is considered an S rank jutsu and can block jutsus of the same rank (1 lower if the user doesn't have Genjutsu speciality). It does not have the parasitic properties, or the lingering effect, but it does create excrutiating pain. Can only be used twice and prevents the user from preforming high ranked genjutsu (S and above) in the same and next turn of usage.
Edit: I revamped the whole technique while keeping the concept and workings of it the same. I did it in order to fit the new cannon MS techniques, modeling my technique's structure after the new Amateratsu technique, and to specify the technique itself (and enhance it to meet Tsukuyomi's power). I bolded the new additions and further specifications of existing abilities, but I did re-write the whole jutsu as a whole. The restrictions are basically the same as the cannon techniques, with a few exceptions (For example, Tsukuyomi is unblockable and unreleasable, this is not)
±± Declined ±± All ok. Except it can only be used with your MS and in this form so that note needs to go and you need to add a small part explaining what happpens to the target in reality. In Tsukyomi, the target is left hanging a mere moment as the months of torture happen upon his mind, feeling extrmeely exausted and drained of vatality afterwards. But what will happen to the enemy physically once this is released or ends? Also, Pain shouldn't be able to release the user from this because it already makes more pain than that of any physical wound so you might want to add a note saying just that so no further confusion rises.